Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

[susiemumof]

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

The baby spends every weekend with her father? :o

This mother really needs to break free from the shackles of the presumption that she does all the childcare. :o

Isn't part of that supporting the parents in their choices? If you're a CM why would a parent want to pay for the judgey attitude when there's plenty of it around for free?

Oh stop being so frigging am-dram. You cant now assume your CM is judging you....unless you are particularly in need of something to feel all wibbly about?

Not read through it all but if it were me I could totally see taking the day to myself but would probably pick up early (or drop off late). But totally don't judge her if she didn't...

Re charging and knowing your income, my CM allows us two weeks holiday where we pay 50% but we have to let her know 30 days in advance. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

Yeah I am sure your CM is not judging you. I know mine isn't judging me, which is why I asked her to look after my children. Some peoples attitudes stink, try not to let it get to you.

Baby-cuddling can be done all day Saturday and all day Sunday. Dental appointments, pill checks, posting/collecting parcels, remortgaging the house, shifting your ISAs, having the carpets cleaned or the floors sanded, talking to lawyers about divorce/probate/redundancy, job interviews and queuing at the CAB cannot. They can mostly technically be done with a baby in tow, but it would be far from ideal.

I do feel sorry for mother, baby and indeed father, because 60 hours a week childcare at 6 months old is not ideal, but the OP sounds very caring so I'm sure the baby is getting lots of personal attention from a single consistent person who is sensitive to their individual needs - we're not talking about a huge understaffed high turnover impersonal US nursery here.

Baby-cuddling can be done all day Saturday and all day Sunday. Dental appointments, pill checks, posting/collecting parcels, remortgaging the house, shifting your ISAs, having the carpets cleaned or the floors sanded, talking to lawyers about divorce/probate/redundancy, job interviews and queuing at the CAB cannot. They can mostly technically be done with a baby in tow, but it would be far from ideal.

I do feel sorry for mother, baby and indeed father, because 60 hours a week childcare at 6 months old is not ideal, but the OP sounds very caring so I'm sure the baby is getting lots of personal attention from a single consistent person who is sensitive to their individual needs - we're not talking about a huge understaffed high turnover impersonal US nursery here.

Low my CM doesn't judge me thankfully and because I am a caring loving working parent I made sure to chose someone who would not pass on horrible judgy attitudes to my children

Gawd - staggered by this thread. Women beware women. Why can't we all support one another a bit more instead of CONSTANTLY judging?! I work FT, have a great nanny who is part of the family, miss my children a lot and live for spending time with them at the weekends. I work to provide for their future and, bluntly, I cannot imagine the pressure of having to provide and care for my chidren as a single mother like this woman clearly has to. OP - you seem to be deliberately shit stirring. You have no idea what this poor woman was doing on her day off. It is ONE DAY FFS. The child is clearly very well loved and cared for by you (and no doubt by the mother too). Can't you give htis poor woman a break. As one poster said, its not like she is disappearing for a week's holiday without the child.

If I was going to judge (which i'm not), i'd have more of an issue with the many mothers out there who don't work and use childcare while they lunch, gym, have their hair done etc. ..not take it out on a poor single mother who is taking one day off for (hopefully) some downtime (but it could be a hospital appointment etc) when all other time is devoted to her child and working full time.

Juule - I've already said that I think it's different for babies, but I don't consider school to be childcare. Do you?

YeahThat - revising isn't "me time", is it? You're working. Just like this woman works, which nobody has said she shouldn't.

Ah thanks lowflying. That helped a lot. I don't why I'm getting "all wibbly", I'm sure it's all the stress associated with this exam rather than this actual thread but I am genuinely surprised that people can have such a judgey stance on something that is no one's business but the parent's.

This thread has made me so sad and angry - why does everybody feel the need to judge other people's childcare arrangements, whether that's at home or out of the home? I think EvacuationWarden was so right further up the thread - life's tough enough for mothers without everybody turning on each other.

I think that's me and Mumsnet done. :(

"but I don't consider school to be childcare. Do you?"

Probably a whole new thread but your children are cared for while they are there. So in that sense - yes. It covers some of the time that people are working when they would need childcare.

Athing and apologies for missing where you said it was different for babies.

This is one reason why I wouldn't use a childminder.

Hi op I work at a nursery not the same as cm I know but just wanted to say ime its very common for parents to still use childcare for their dcs when there not at work.

I looked after a baby from 4 months to 3 years he came to nursery from 7.30 until 5.30 all year round. His mum was a teacher. His dad kept him off occasionally on his days off he worked all year round. Sometimes he went early on a Friday if they were going away for weekend. He loved being ay nursery and to be honest I think he saw us as part of his family.

Other parents who were students brought their dcs in the school holidays too. And lots of parents brought their dcs when they were on days off work.

So yes I think its very common.

At my nursery I introduced a two week payment free break to be used in the year. To make sure children were not attending 50 hours a week all year round and also so families could afford a holiday! 2 weeks fees goes quite a long way!

The parents really liked our policy.

Sorry for double post - bloody iphone

My CM doesn't charge me at all for days I don't use as long as I let her know ahead of time.

We plan 3 months ahead on a rolling basis.

....and this is exactly why I am glad I chose a Nursery for DD and not a childminder. I would have been furious, disgusted and bloody upset if I thought my choices were being bandied about on the Internet and my childminder was this judgemental.

...but then, I'd be pretty judgemental of childminders that posted on MN when they should have been minding my child...

Using childcare when you are not at work is not very controversial.

It's putting a 6 month old baby in childcare for a full day off when she spends 60 hours a week in childcare that seems odd (to some of us who apparent live in the 70s/50s/19th Century)

So, there is people on here who are happy to judge a single parent, who works 12 hrs a day, for wanting 1 day off, when she is probably planning to rest a bit and possibly squeeze in errands which you can't run over the weekend. Wow.

And then a long list of prejudices about childcare (evil), selfish parents (who either work too much or don't work enough), lazy sahm who use childcare to go to the gym (lol) etc etc.

This is why I also wouldn't use a childminder.
I hope the woman concerned is lying in bed having strawberry's licked off her bum by a gorgeous other half or somebody else's.
Whatever she's doing it's none of your business.

Only read first and last pages so sorry if I have missed salient points.

When I was working FT with a 6 mo (non sleeping) baby, the only thing that saved my sanity was sending her to a cm for a full week (including nights). I was exhausted to the point of contemplating suicide - I then weighed up how my DD would fare with one week without me rather than a life time without me and logic helped me overcome the guilt of a whole week with a CM. If someone has zero support network (no grandparents in view, no friends with DC yet) then life can be a 24/7 grind and sometimes you want to stop the world and get off.

In answer to the original question, I imagine it's not unusual for a working parent to want a day off that is child free for a whole host of reasons, one of which might be sleep.

It sounds like you are a lovely CM, incidentally, OP. The mum must rely on you a lot. I will be forever grateful to my CM.

I didn't realise cm's worked 12 hour days! Is that common?

Mosman - seconded