Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

[susiemumof]

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

Good post Xenia.

I have also left my eldest two for three nights on two occasions. Have left the three of them for one night on two separate occasions.

Like I have said I am not judging her for leaving her child, I said in my op that it was not my business and she did not even need to tell me she had the day off.

She often does things before picking mindee up, popping to the shop or putting her dinner on then quickly picking mindee up to go home and eat. Not once has this bothered me, it never would.

Infact if anything it makes my life easier that she always turns up at the same time so I can stick to my own routine.

What I was asking was if it was usual for mums to still send their dc while they had the whole day off.

I'm am new to childminding and this is the first time I have had crop up, like I have also said I started my business by offering a discount for days not attended as I presumed that it would be helpful to parents.

Also for those who are so worried that mindees mum may see this I have (of course) made a few subtle changes to my info!

for me when I used a CM it was outsourcing where traditionally grannies our aunties would have stepped in. Some people have NO free support so have to outsource.
Noone but noone but noone would criticise a mother for leaving LO with granny our aunty to have some rest/me time/early scan they don't want to tell you about/do paperwork/sort the house out. But if your only option for that is CM its SAAAAD!
And then sell yourself as a home from home?, an aunty like figure? hmph!

Errr yes monkey, I do have some experience of having no support since I stay 5 hours from my family and have a dh who spends most of the year out the country.

Are you wanting to turn it into a competitive hard done by thread now?

I don't think you are unprofessional for posting if that was the case there a loads of posts on here from nannies and childminders. Better put it on here than slag the parents off so other people can overhear. When I have worked in nurseries this happens all the time all day, one of the reasons I do not work in nurseries anymore.

I have nannied where the mum has sat in her car reading so I don't finish a minute early.

I have also nannied for people that don't work at all. Like you I find this hard to understand but I suppose each to their own we are not all made the same.

I think it is a very sensitive subject and that's why you have got such a reaction even though you have never once said that mothers should not leave their children.

so answer then, would you post the same if someone sent LOs for a day with their granny or aunty to get some rest/sort the house/do the shopping/whatever?

My post would be invalid if mindee was spending the day with auntie or granny!!

My op is about whether childminders get mindees sent when parents have a day off it's got bugger all to do with the fact mum wants a day to herself and everything to do with the fact I am a new childminder looking for advice!

Well monkey if my daughter left her baby all week and then wanted me to have him for a day why she did her things I would say no.

okay, so the answer to your post of 12 noon today is yes, perfectly normal for the child to come to the CM regardless of what arrangements the parents have made for their day

You are paid to provide a service. What the parent does while you are providing that service has bugger all to do with you. Unless you make it a condition of using your service that mindees can only atend while parents work.

well the answer is obviously yes because it wouldn't necessarily be quality time if the child was at home because some days off have to be given over to maintanence and paperwork and scans (which you can't take LOs to but don't necessarily want to tell your CM about). If you have support then they can take the child to the playground etc while you do this, if not isn't it better to send them to childcare where they are interracted with and entertained?

There have been times when I've asked DS's nursery to take him for an EXTRA session on a day when I'm off work so that I can get things done that either I couldn't do if he was there, or that would involve him being very bored.

I'm taking a day off to have a dating scan soon, no children allowed, DH at work, no free support, so will be looking to put DS in for an extra day of childcare while I have a DAY OFF! - not telling the nursery why though! why should I? and yes it'll be a whole day because I will distress DS if it is bad news and I pick him up straight after

I've also sent him while I used days off to job hunt or to attend interviews, can't take your child to interviews! I don't like to tell anyone when I have an interview because it makes me more nervous if people know so as far as my childcare providers know I'm having "me time"

Monkey I really could not care less what your childcare arrangments are, I don't care how shocked you are about sending your ds to nursery for a whole day while you have a scan (although I wish you every luck with it) I don't even care what my own mindees mum does on her day off. Infact after trying to make sense of half the posts on here I wonder if I will ever cate about anything again!

All I was wanting to know was about about something that I have had no experience off and thought others could help.

I am obviously not making myself clear despite posting the same thing countless times so I am definitely leaving this time.

If I ever need to ask a childminding question again not bother stick to the childminding forum!

suzie I doubt it'll even be an issue much longer, parents aren't stupid and will pick on on your vibes and move on!

'Infact after trying to make sense of half the posts on here I wonder if I will ever cate about anything again'

@ susie

Full from the day I was registered, turning people away as I already have a waiting list and excellent feedback every week from all my parents- I doubt I have anything to worry about!

The proof is in how long they STAY, that would be what I would ask an established CM, not how full they are right now. Anyway in some areas ALL CMs are turning people away because there is a shortness of CMs - THAT means nothing, that just means lots of people need CMs.

Obviously not something you can ask a new CM, but after a while it is how many STAY from baby to school, that matters as a prospective parent. So good luck with that!

.. and also being in touch with ex mindees is a good sign too, not something that happens if parents get shitty vibes from you. And a lot of parents that read your posts on here have got shitty vibes from you.

I send dd to nursery sometime when I have a day off and when I'm off sick. Actually she went 2 days a week for year before I went back to work. But then I am a lp and need a day off now and then. This isn't a good example in the context of this post as I only work 3 days a week. Sorry
In some ways yanbu but in some ways yabu. That mum is working v long hours maybe because she has no choice and maybe was desperate for a break. I've certainly been there. On the other hand if it was me I would have collected dd couple of hours early to spend time with her. You never know though maybe she needed the full day of rest. I can sympathise with that too

Worked in a nursery for a few years and still keep in touch with the parents, mostly on Facebook as they have moved away but still nice when they send me pics of their dc in their new school uniform etc.

Plus I am passing business over to childminders who have been established over several years so I am pretty confident I am doing well on all your points.

You choose to believe I am a evil childminder as much as you want, nothing I say will convince you otherwise but to be fair it does not matter. I doubt either of us will be losing any sleep over it!

and BTW good feedback doesn't mean much either, as a parent the last thing you want to do is drop your child off with someone there is a bit on animosity with, so I gave good feedback to a CM I was unhappy with because I was stuck with her for a couple more weeks and didn't want a bad atmosphere at the place I was leaving my prescious child. It is incredibly difficult to leave bad feedback with someone you have to leave your child with, even if it's only for a few more days. I was ALREADY becomming uncomfortable with leaving him there I certainly didn't want to make it worse! You still have to wait for a place elsewhere. You can't always just give bad feedback and run when you first decide that it's not for you!

the proof really is in the turnover - THAT is what really tells you what other parents think!. Maybe the OP mum spent her day off looking around other CMs and nurseries?

Monkeymoma, are you for real?

Monkey I think you are really clutching at straws now

I promise though that when my business comes crashing down you will be the first person I get in touch with so that you can give yourself a big pat on the back.

nope I gave good feedback when I was actively looking elsewhere, how could I not my child was still in her care! it doesn't prove anything. Turnover does.

One of the best thigns we did was find a local girl to look after the baby twins on Sat and Sunday mornings which I would never have considered with the first 3 children 14 years before. Not many working parents pay for some child care at weekends but it was the best thing for everyone. The twins got 4 hours with some adoring teenage girl seeing to their every need. We coudl get on with work, admin, driving 3 older children around or even snoozing with the papers. It meant the other hours in that day with them were nicer hours as the housework stuff was done and we just just relax and play.

(On my post above I meant did NOT think my children suffered - when we were away for a week although I missed them.)