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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

663 replies

susiemumof · 17/05/2012 12:29

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

OP posts:
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monkeymoma · 18/05/2012 20:57

plus, since she works such long hours, at some point she has to get all her paperwork/TCs in order, run/tidy the house, shop, clean...
a day off to herself doesn't necessarily = a day at the spa, maybe she will be catching up with urgent housekeeping/paperwork - hardly fun quality time for the baby?
and maybe she wouldn't! maybe she'll sit on her arse painting her toe nails
maybe she has personal things to do that she does not want to discuss with her CM

bigpaws · 18/05/2012 20:57

Susie, you are right to leave contract changes for another thread!!!

Putting the original question to one side, there are a lot of people on here that should be ashamed of how they have commented. Bang out of order how they try to provoke a childminder V's mummy divide. Really no need.

Original poster
susiemumof · 18/05/2012 20:57

Thank you very much red Smile

I'm going to take fayes advice now anyway and go explore elsewhere on mumsnet. I've only posted a few times so need to get stuck in a bit more.

Words on a screen don't bother me, bring it on keyboard gangsters Grin

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 20:58

you invited comment
and got it
sad isn't neutral state
you said you presumed parents who work long hours ( like yourself on a 60hr week) would want spend extra time off with child. that's a v clear judgement.

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 21:00

go spend time with kids
60hr week you work
they will be gagging to see you

redglow · 18/05/2012 21:03

Scottishmummy you are repeating yourself a bit now you made your point. I think we could be on here all night but it is getting a bit boring now. I am gonna look at something else too.

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 21:05

off you trot then
I'm hoping to hear what fripperies 60hr week buy

eastnorth · 18/05/2012 21:05

Yep agree this is going round in circles. I am going to talk to my husband and have some wine it's Friday after all.

FunnysInLaJardin · 18/05/2012 22:47

so did we achieve a consensus? Judge not lest yea be judged etc?

FunnysInLaJardin · 18/05/2012 22:56

incidentally Faye, not that it matters a jot, but my DC goes to his CM 9am-3.30pm when his dad collects him, so about 30 hrs pw. Plus after school care for DS1 thats my £1,200pcm. I live in quite an expensive area, and so no not guilt that makes me comment, just anger at poor women who have to work 60hrs a week, and be judged by their fucking CM. HTH

bigpaws · 19/05/2012 06:15

Funny, please don't refer to us as 'fucking childminder(s)'. We are hard working women (and often mums ourselves) too.

AThingInYourLife · 19/05/2012 08:16

My DDs are going to visit their old fucking childminder today. They adore her.

They are very happy at the fucking childminder's they go to now.

A good fucking childminder is a precious thing indeed.

scottishmummy · 19/05/2012 09:01

agree!good childcare is a fab thing
and working parents are significant contributors
doing own jobs,and pay fees that maintain cm and nursery employment

I'm v fortunate having excellent nursery.I appreciate the staff hard work

ElizabethDarcy · 19/05/2012 10:16

Speaking as a CM...

I am of the view it is none of my business what my clients do during the time their child is in my care. Whether they are at work, skiing, coffee'ing with pals, abseiling nekkid, sitting in their pjs watching a box set...

Honestly.. mothers more often than that have so much guilt to deal with anyway from their parents/SAHfriends etc. when going back to work, whether PT or FT... the very least we as the childcare giver can do, is support her... and we should be there as a support for the family, not only the child, in my view.

We are all different and have varying ways of doing things/coping with life etc. What works for one does not work for another.

Just keep your professional head on and ensure that baby has the best care possible... and be reassured in the knowledge that you are helping a single parent go about the job of being a single parent.

KatieMiddleton · 19/05/2012 10:45

Great post Elizabeth.

thebody · 19/05/2012 11:01

Speaking aS another cm I too don't give a rats ass what parents do while I mind their children as long as they pay me fully and on time.

scottishmummy · 19/05/2012 11:02

good post,yes key concept be professional
not sad for mindees
a good cm and or nursery nurse , nanny is a fantastic asset.

thebody · 19/05/2012 11:11

And to add cms are working mothers too and personally I feel very guilty that I have to put mindees needs before my own children's but that's the business I choose to work in and that's life for all of us working moms.

scottishmummy · 19/05/2012 11:16

yes it's a business arrangement
financial transaction
personalizing it is when all the potential niggle and judgement can occur

YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 19/05/2012 11:19

But thebody no one has posted on here "I feel sad for the ops dd, having to be with this other mindee for 60 hours a week.
No one implied the op shouldn't be working 60 hours a week and no one has thought they have the right to judge what the op does with her day off.

eastnorth · 19/05/2012 12:57

A business arrangement !! Is that how you see a child carer ? I am really shocked at some people on here. Just read this all through I think the judgey. Ones isn't the op. there is nothing nasty in what she said and the ones that said they don't think she is a childminder what makes you think that?

thebody · 19/05/2012 13:41

I think susie sounds a lovely cm with a great relationship with her mindees. We all want that for our mindees and of course from a childminder.

As a cm I do see my relationship with parents as a business, of course it is I don't work for free!! But my relationship with them
Is also friendly( not friends) as blurs boundaries.

With the children I strive to be like a fun but sensible aunty.

I dont love my mindees. ( only my own Dcs) but care for them and look after them to the best of my ability but when they are with their parents that's that and I certainly don't ' worry' about them.

Susie you do need to keep a professional distance from families as we all parent differently and don't blur boundaries.

I do sort of understand how your 'sad' comment provoked this reaction to you, as it probes a guilt wound for all working moms.

DuelingFanjo · 19/05/2012 13:43

there's a lot nasty in what she said and the comments she made about guilty parents was one of them.

Rubirosa · 19/05/2012 13:43

Of course it is a business arrangement. CMs, nursery workers, nannies are people doing a job for money. Parents pay them for a service. How is it anything else?

monkeymoma · 19/05/2012 13:47

thebody, you put your finger on exactly why I gave up on CMs and switched to nurseries

I'm sure there are people like you thebody who keep the boundaries but my experience is that a lot of CMs struggle with some parenting choices which aren't their parenting choices!

For this reason (and others, incl it shows that it is their chosen career not just a means to be home with their own young children) if I ever have to choose a CM again I will chose one whose children are older so they are a bit removed from their own pre-schooler raising and attitudes