Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

[susiemumof]

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

But according to you, you were sad that the baby spent so long in childcare.

your posts
that's good start
the I just presumed...
sad for the baby

the mum works 60hr week,and so do you!

what wee additional treats need a 60 hr week?
do tell

Fanjo- which post said I was sad mindee spent so long in childcare? You will have to copy and paste or give me the time of the post.

In my op I said I felt sad that the mum was not spending the day with the baby, at no point have I said the baby spends to long in childcare.

your op sad for the baby
after discussing it's 60hr week.clearly you disapprove
your back peddling no

I can see this thread has got totally blown up out of proportion. People get so irrational like with the 'baby in a buggy with a breadstick' thread which has now been removed. I am a childminder and a parent. Yes it is hard to get the balance right at times. But I love my job and I love my kids - just like all you other MNs.

no not at all
proportionate ire
at daft post

Not back peddling at all, the child is with me for a 60 hour week it was relevant to the original question I was asking.

was you being sad relevant
clear bias and emotional emphasis

That's the thing isn't it, you could have just asked "is this usual" when you started with the sadness it became very Judgy.

The original questions being whether or not childminders usually had mindees sent to them while parents were on holiday. I posted this as a new childminder who was surprised that this had happened (never once did I say it was wrong) I wanted feedback from others about their own experiences.

Somehow the sahm vs wohm brigade translated this to whether or not it was right for the mum to send mindee to me while she was on holiday.

followed up by I presumed...
smacked of why have em if you let strangers watch em
sad
you said
sad...

you started it by saying how sad it was, which prompted people to either agree or disagree it was "sad"

Think you got your answer it is quite normal..

nope
you've been called on v judgey mean posts

Anyway Susie, have you decided to change your contracts to charge full pay for child's absence due to holiday/sickness? You might find it a good idea to.

"it just makes me a bit sad for the baby"

Not exactly accusing her off being the victim of neglect is it!

I am "a bit" sad for the baby, I am surprised that the mum is still sending her when she has a day off. Does not mean I don't think she should be working at all like what has been mentioned on here does it?

she pays your fees doesnt need or ask for needs the hired help sympathy
given you also work 60hr week,you don have a leg to stand on

So you wasn't asking a simple childminding question then, you were saying it was sad, and asking people to agree or disagree with that.

Bigpaws- I am unsure. Feel it may be a bit mean to advertise myself to new families as offering this then withdrawing it. It's all a big learning curve.

Ironically enough with my own dd being so young I thought that by offering this I may get the occasional day when it was just dd and I (not expecting it but thought it would be nice if it occasionally happened)

Anyway I think any new advice I am looking for would be better kept for another thread!

susie, back away.....

actually, I'm a "bit sad" for a child at DSs nursery whose parents ALWAYS take him out for their full (very long) breaks off work and any other day they have off.

That particular child took aaaaages to settle in, and he is not one of the children who can slot back in after a break, the settling in starts ALL OVER AGAIN (at which point I switch to being sad for my DS because said child lashes out when re-settling). Once he's in the swing of it he's okayish, but every time they take him out it's back to square one.

DS isn't like that, he settles easily, can take him out and pop him back in and he's happy as larry to be back BUT if he doesn't go he misses it and asks about it. He doesn't notice if we're actually away on holiday, but if he doesn't go on a regular nursery day when I just have a random day off then he does, so we tend to send him anyway - he loves the company of his little friends there, its part of his routine, he's learning the days of the week at the mo and accociates them with what normally happens on those days

all that aside, it is none of your business WHY the child is left in your care

Fanjo- while you are looking for that post which states I said mindee spent to long in childcare can you also find the one that shows I was asking people to agree/disagree if it was sad or not.

You sound a lovely childminder and you don't deserve all this nastiness on here. Back to your original question yes it is not unusual to look after children when the mum takes a days holiday. A lot of mums where I live are obsessed with me time and losing their identity because they are a mum, can't really understand it but each to their own.

susie just don't look at this thread anymore. There are some of us here that can see you meant no harm and understand that it is possible to be a 'bit sad' for the baby, whilst also supporting the mum. There are posters here who just want an argument and will go on and on and on. Leave them to it.