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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

663 replies

susiemumof · 17/05/2012 12:29

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 22:47

and if I had o much of a sniff that my CM was judging me, my child would be out of there and off to a professional CM as quick as that. You lot are a world apart from my CM, thank god

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 22:49

Oh yes Funnys, no one pays the hired help to have opinions, dear lord, what next, they might actually start thinking! Naturally your CM is an automaton who thinks the sun shines out of your arse at all times.

greyhairsahead · 17/05/2012 22:50

This thread has reminded me of how I felt when I read this. In the article the nursery worker appears to be judging the parents for daring to work a full day. DS goes to nursery 8-6 three days, so it made me think, where his carers judging me for being a working mum?

Sorry Susie but your OP is definitely judgey. Yes 60 hours a week with a CM is far from ideal, but so is no time to yourself.

scottishmummy · 17/05/2012 22:51

indeed cm
depend upon working mums
we pay your bloody wages - don't bite the hand that feeds

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 22:52

no one pays the hired help to judge me. The way some of you are acting, you deserve to be called hired helps. CM is a profession and because my CM acts in a professional way I treat her as such. If they treated me as some CM on here clearly treat their employers, the deserve to be called hired helps.

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 22:55

The idea that the person who looks after your child every day has no opinion of you is odd - of course your CM judges you. She might judge you to be absolutely fantastic, but if she has no judgement at all then she must be brain dead. Everyone has opinions about the people they work with. The idea that because you pay someone they have to think positively about you is just ridiculous. Do you think your boss is fantastic at all times?

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 22:57

And if she wasn't able to hide her opinion of you then she would clearly not be mentally competent to look after children.

scottishmummy · 17/05/2012 22:59

no,the rub is keep your inane opinion to yourself
the working parents need the cm as a business transaction. it's not personal or palsie it's needs driven.

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 22:59

the point is if she judges me in a negative manner that will filter through to my DC, and that is not on. How can you judge someone as lacking because they have chosen to use you services and pay you a lot of money? Thats nuts. I may judge my clients, but I don't ever question why they have to use me and think they are lacking as a parent for doing so.

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 17/05/2012 23:00

Funnys I think you're being very naive if you think your childminder has absolutely no opinion about you because she's 'professional'. You'll also find that most people are pretty good at hiding their opinion.

scottishmummy · 17/05/2012 23:02

if a cm feels antipathy to working parents shouldn't be a cm
working parents pay cmwages,so despite all the harrumphing, cm need the working parents

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 23:02

A CM does the job for money. It doesn't matter what she thinks of you as a person, she's not going to let you know that, as it would do her out of a job. I don't think a good CM would badmouth you to your children though.

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 23:04

of course she has an opinion of me, but it is when that spills over into being judgemental that I have a problem. 'oh poor DS1, his mother never collects him from school, I have to do it, sigh' whispered at the school gates. My CM would never do this as a good personal friend, but I am afraid judging by this thread some would

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 23:04

Plenty of people shouldn't be doing the jobs they're doing scottishmummy, and that doesn't stop them. A lot of CMs I know do the job because it fits around their own children, not because they have a great desire to look after other people's children. They are lovely, kind people, but they do the job for money, not for any other reason.

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 23:06

Cailin quite, a good CM should never bad mouth a parent to their child. I'm afraid some do

scottishmummy · 17/05/2012 23:06

so wise up to working parent pays cm wages
your not paid for your opinion,nor is it routinely sought
get on with watching kids for cash

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 23:07

and if I'm paying you £1,200 pcm I expect you to care for my DC and treat my family with respect

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/05/2012 23:08

afaic the mum has done nothing wrong - she is paying for your services and using them - does it matter if she goes to work - goes home to do housework or sleep or goes to the gym/doctor/shopping

she may work 60hrs a week and may have weekends free if dad has her, but that doesnt matter

im a nanny not a cm but there are days when mb or db dont work, but i do - they may go in to town and get a few bits done, they may bum around at home on the play station (db)

so yes it can be normal

1950sHousewife · 17/05/2012 23:09

I wouldn't send my DCs to you OP, sorry. I think I would pick up on your disapproval and life is too short for that.

I wonder if you have the same disapproval if the dad has a day off work or is it just the mother you are disapproving of?

I like the poster (sorry, can't remember who) who suggested a tick box for what parents are and aren't allowed to do with their spare time. And if they get too many crosses the CM is allowed to have a 'sad face photo' in the Daily Mail.

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 23:10

You might expect that Funnys but whether you get it is another thing. I don't think the amount of money means anything really.

FunnysInLaJardin · 17/05/2012 23:13

its not the money, it's the fact that I am paying for a certain service, and judging is not part of it. If I wanted someone to judge, I'd drop the DC of at the Mags Court for the day.

scottishmummy · 17/05/2012 23:14

the hard working mum doing 60hr needs pat on back
susie needs to know who pays the fees and to wind her neck in

CailinDana · 17/05/2012 23:16

The thing is Funnys, you can't stop a person from judging, no matter how much you pay them. You have every right to expect them not to pass their views on to your children, but how they think in their own head is their own business and you're not going to change that.

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 17/05/2012 23:17

The OP is getting a really hard time here and she doesn't deserve it! There have been some very judgemental comments on this thread, but not from the OP as far as I can see.

scottishmummy · 17/05/2012 23:22

yes how dare op feel sorry for a baby
dont accommodate working mums if it causes such consternation - working mums pay Susie wage.she needs to remember that. choosing to be cm is acceptance of minding kids in mums absence

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