My nanny is taking the p**s and dont anyone try and tell me otherwise.......

[3rdcornet]

Ive have emplyed 5 au pairs and 5 nannies. All of them bar 1 have taken the piss out of me to varying degrees.

The current so to be not one is a nanny/HK to my 2 teenagers. `fully ofsted registered and paid £26k a year live in ( in Manchester ).

I have discovered she is taking some ( not all ) of our laundry to the local ironing service and paying for it out of the kitty. Treating her self to lunch and coffee out of the kitty most days ( usually in Starbucks ) and shopping exclusively for her food for her self contained accomodation on the family credit card ( which is for work use only ) in Marks and Spencesr when she shops for the children in Morrisons and won't eat what they are eating.

On top of that she is she says too busy to do cleaning yet most days is somewhere other than my house in our car. I know this because we have randomdly popped home during the day and she is out in our car not hers and I can see where she has been using the credit card......35 miles in the opposite direction to the one school run she needs to do a day.

She also sneaks things for her own home through amazon on our account too. Ive found the delivery notes in the bin !!!

Dear God I feel a fool. I thought I could trust this one. The others have mainly been worse. The one before faked a family death to get a months compassionate leave and snuck off to America on holiday. She never came back !!

Oh well. You live and learn. I will never employ a nanny again Thank goodness and good luck and my commiserations to all of you who unfortunately still have no choice.

Im here for advice !!!!!!!Coz I got it so right !

Why do your 3 teenagers need care for an hour before school and an hour after?

Might not actually be hoover bags!

Oh god chipping the mystery deepens!

You pay 26k for someone to give your teens a lift the bus stop, and £400 a month on a cleaner... Any jobs going in your place!!?? Can your kids not walk to the nearest bus stop?!

Indeed holy. I have a nanny and she has a kitty and she is assiduous in providing receipts for the things she pops out to buy - fishfingers, bleach, paintbrushes for the children's crap art. She doesn't have to check with me beforehand and I never look at the receipts because I know she's not buying anything that's not for my house or my children. I would actually be very happy for her to buy more than she does - she never eats, for instance and I would be happy for her to buy food for herself. I've also told her to get taxis if she needs to - but she never, ever would even in a situation where I actually think she should have done for her own sake. After 5 years in the job she has yet to cause me to doubt the trust I put in her. I think she understands that trust is at the heart of our relationship.

This appears to be quite different. But perhaps if the hoover bags weren't really hoover bags they might actually have been for the OP.

Awaits update on hooverbag-gate expectantly...

i should add that im a police officer and she gets paid more than i do. On Friday i had to take a knife of a man who was threatening to take my head off.

can i apply for the newly vacated post please? i am VERY honest...(see above job etc etc)

I suspect most people answering on this thread have not employed someone full time in their home.

OP: seriously, get rid of her. She is taking the piss and has lost all respect for you. Start over with a new person and try to run a tight ship from the start. People are generally nice but once they sense opportunity they quickly take advantage.

No, when you sack her, I want the job.

I specialise in not getting the cleaning done. My DH will provide a reference. And I can make a single Starbucks latte last for hours...

I live 3 hours away but I am all up for that job! (Only if I can bring DS though, and I'll need a helicopter. Ta.)

Seriously, get rid. If you don't trust her, you can't have her living on your property (cottage?!) and having access to your credit card. I'm inclined to think that the teenagers can look after themselves though...

most days is somewhere other than my house in our car. I know this because we have randomdly popped home during the day and she is out in our car not hers and I can see where she has been using the credit card......35 miles in the opposite direction to the one school run she needs to do a day.

This seems a bit odd to me. Why would she need to go 35miles away for something... was it perhaps something that could not have been brought locally? On those trips out where you have identified that she has been some distance away, on a school day, were the payments for things that you would normally agree to her buying?

We don't know where you live. For all we know the nearest large town could well be 35 miles away. Whatever they were buying may have only been available from that location. Maybe it was something one of your sons needed?

You are in agreement that you need to talk to her to try to find out what is going on. There are things that don't seem right, so you need to talk to her and see if you can get to the bottom of things.

Surely you don't need a nanny go teenagers. I know a few go to cm round here, is that possible?

margo I guess I'm getting lost between the 'it's fine to pop out and buy such and such' and 'oh, hoover bags! Well she must be a theif'!

If she'd bought an Ipod or something I could understand, but do you really regard hoover bags as a massive deviation from bleach/kids paintbrushes?

The OP will get a statement listing her credit card purchases so the nanny knew the OP would find out, just the same as your nanny leaving receipts or me noting it in the diary.

Why on earth do you have a live in nanny for teenagers?! Do they have SN? A taxi account and a cleaner for a couple of hours a day would suffice, surely?

Place marking because Im keen to see what happens next

(and because I dont know anyone who knows enough to employ a nanny)

These teenagers may not have been teenagers when this nanny/hk started. So the job role may have changed over the years. Whilst they may not need a nanny now, maybe they can't be trusted to be left at home alone, so need someone with them, even if it is to ferry them and cook them meals and stop them from having after-school parties with their mates.

Recruitment tends to cost money and over time you build trust with the person caring for your children and your home. If all is going well, then a parent may not want to go about finding someone else to take on the job.

In this case I feel there has been a breakdown of trust but at the moment it's not that clear as to what is actually going on, as the OP has yet to ask their nanny/hk about it. So that is the first step I feel they need to take.

I know a few families who have nannies for teenagers. It is for when parents have to work away from home.

ladies thankyou. nannynick spot on. nannies grow with the children and the role changes.

yes we have a huge income and we are very lucky. Think six figures and lots. But thats not the point. We are not extravagent in the way we live. We ski every year but camp in france in the summer. The boys have never flown longhaul and 2 out of the 3 cars we own are at least 6 years old.

We don't waste money and do not expect our nanny to do so. She is well remunerated for the role and looked after. She had 9 weeks holiday last year.

Im gutted she doesnt respect the relationship we have.

I will update you all tomorrow !!!

I'd love to have a huge income and time in the middle of the day to nip home and spy on my nanny/hk. Congratulations on keeping this one so long, the previous 9 can't have lasted long each. Wouldn't boarding school be cheaper? I am pretty certain that there is a black market for illegally obtained hoover bags.

'I am pretty certain that there is a black market for illegally obtained hoover bags.'

The plot thickens...

Boarding school is fiendishly expensive and still leaves you the holidays to cover. Unlikely to be cheaper IMO

seems very weird that after 3 mths she would change

has she always taken the ironing to be ironed when she should do it?

but yes you dont really need a full time nanny/hk when boys are that age

def intrigued over hoover bags-maybe she is taking on another job during school hours hence running out of time and driving miles away?

tbh you need to sit down face to face and ask her

I think there's an article in the Times about hoover bags being used by drugs mules. Apparently sniffer dogs can't smell through them.

My 3 boys adore her. She is like a mum to them

I think that ^^ is the problem for OP, not the laundry, they buying stuff on wrong card, the eating out etc.

I don't think it really matters whether the OP needs a nanny/housekeeper or not. If she wants one and can afford one she can have one. She may be able to get by with a cleaner and taxi account, but it's not the best for her DC's. It's not better than having someone who is 'like a mum' to them with them before/after school.

blondes she's apparently changed after 5 years, not 3 months!

The other job idea is interesting, would explain the driving and the hoover bags....

That or the drug mule thing, OP is there a big drugs scene approx 35 miles from where you live?