My nanny is taking the p**s and dont anyone try and tell me otherwise.......

[3rdcornet]

Ive have emplyed 5 au pairs and 5 nannies. All of them bar 1 have taken the piss out of me to varying degrees.

The current so to be not one is a nanny/HK to my 2 teenagers. `fully ofsted registered and paid £26k a year live in ( in Manchester ).

I have discovered she is taking some ( not all ) of our laundry to the local ironing service and paying for it out of the kitty. Treating her self to lunch and coffee out of the kitty most days ( usually in Starbucks ) and shopping exclusively for her food for her self contained accomodation on the family credit card ( which is for work use only ) in Marks and Spencesr when she shops for the children in Morrisons and won't eat what they are eating.

On top of that she is she says too busy to do cleaning yet most days is somewhere other than my house in our car. I know this because we have randomdly popped home during the day and she is out in our car not hers and I can see where she has been using the credit card......35 miles in the opposite direction to the one school run she needs to do a day.

She also sneaks things for her own home through amazon on our account too. Ive found the delivery notes in the bin !!!

Dear God I feel a fool. I thought I could trust this one. The others have mainly been worse. The one before faked a family death to get a months compassionate leave and snuck off to America on holiday. She never came back !!

Oh well. You live and learn. I will never employ a nanny again Thank goodness and good luck and my commiserations to all of you who unfortunately still have no choice.

Im here for advice !!!!!!!Coz I got it so right !

£26k? To look after two teenagers, eat free at Starbucks & not clean your house? Sounds fantastic! When can I start?

Tbh, for that money, I'd pay for my own Starbucks and throw in a bit of cleaning. Deal?

But surely you can keep her on, just let her know what is and isn't acceptable when it comes to your credit card and buying food. Ask her to repay anything you think she has bought which was unreasonable.

I find it hard to believe that after 5 years your nanny has suddenly started to do things differently. Even now she's being upfront about what she's doing. Fair enough to speak to her if you have an issue with something - but to say she's your 'soon to no longer be your HK' over something she's been open about but that you just don't like, is over the top.

Speak to her about it and see what she says.

It does sound an amazingly cushy job, tbh, and I guess she wouldn't want to lose it.

How do you know about Starbucks and the ironing service btw?

I disagree -- I think she has to go. Once someone steals from you (and it is theft if she suddenly changed her behaviour in the last three months) they are not to be trusted and should not be in your house with your kids even if it will cause great inconvenience to you.

Its all very difficult. My 3 boys adore her. She is like a mum to them.

I have always trusted her and never monitered what she put in the weekly shop for her food etc.

But the last 2 weeks she has bought sep food for herself from M and S.......approx £50 a week !! Should I really have to explain that is taking the wotsit ??

The ironing the children told me about. It appears in the kitty as dry cleaning ! I suddenly thought hang on a moment we havent had anythinng drycleaned for weeks !!

Im flabbergasted to be honest but feel as MIrpuppet says that she cant be trusted. In a professional nanny role that is paramount.

I will always have to look over her shoulder now and thats just daft for the amount of money I pay her.

What has she bought from Amazon? I think it what she bought is relevant to whether or not it is theft.

the one recipt I found was vacum bags for a vacum we dont own !

But that is not relevant. If it wasnt authorised work expenditure its theft.

mirpuppet - she has listed it all in the kitty/on the card statement - that's hardly theft fgs.

What is in her contract re food?

How sure are you the stuff wasn't dry cleaned?

Speak to her.

Maybe the bags fit your hoover?

Does she have a separate hoover in her 'area'?

I'm really torn with this, because I would never do what your nanny has done (and I've been in a similar position, but have refused to put certain things on bosses credit card my boss had OKayed, even though I knew my boss would probably never realise I had paid for the things myself), but your boys adore her, so I would be inclined to keep her on.

I know the chap who manages the cleaners. Have spoken to him this am. Yes she takes work shirts etc there to be ironed.

She often takes duvets and mattress toppers and suits etc to be drycleaned and we have discussed this in the past. Such as when we go on hols.

But the family washing and ironing is her specified role.

It is the most horrible thing to confront someone who has worked as part of your family for 5 years and whom your children adore and suggest that they are being less than honest in the execution of their role with you.

if anyone posts that they disagree with that last statement then I shall cry !!

Her contract says that she is entitled to breakfast lunch and dinner whilst on duty.

Does anyone think that means she goes to Starbucks for lunch and buys food from m and S for her to eat in the evening after she finishes at 6.30pm ?

She's been with you 5 years. Have you bothered to ask her?
She hasn't hidden anything it's all listed. If she has a kitty to use each week, then it's up to her judgement on what to spend it on as an adult.
Do you want her to sped all day cleaning your house? She needs a lunch break and as for using your car, surely if she's at work she's entitled to use the work car.
What has she brought on cc?
£50 a week on food seems ok to me.

Op I would have been incredulous about your post had something similarish not happened to my boss. Live in nanny/hk for 7 years, part of the family and then suddenly - apparently just decided my boss had too much cash - she started fraudulently writing cheques from her a/c and stealing large sums of money. Police got involved and nanny was convicted for theft.

I am very sorry that someone who you thought of as part of the family and who your children are close to has taken the p*ss.

'But that is not relevant. If it wasnt authorised work expenditure its theft.'

Do you want her to consult with you every time she needs to buy small household items? Hoover bags ffs? The idea of having a housekeeper is so that they can deal with these things and you don't have to. Maybe she bought the wrong ones by mistake?! They were listed on your statement so she knew you would see, just because she didn't ask in advance doesn't make it theft!

'she started fraudulently writing cheques from her a/c and stealing large sums of money'

That isn't even remotely like ordering hoover bags from Amazon.

woah !

She doesnt clean for me at all. I pay £100 a week for a cleaner on top.

She does before and afterschool care so 7 to 8am and pick up which is 5ish most days after school matches until 6.30pm.

In between she does house washing and ironing and food shopping couple with the odd errand. Am I really working her so hard that she needs to sub contract the ironing ?

The nanny car is for work. Not personal journeys . Thats in her contract and quite usual unless agreed otherwise. Its not a company car.

the hoover bags were not for us at all.

£50 a week on ready meals and cake for her to scoff outside of working hours.
You are surely having a larf ??

OP, you need to calm down and then just sit down with her, with a list of all you are unhappy about, and speak to her.

Do you have any kind of discipline procedure in your contract?

you cant really just sack someone because you have assumed she is doing these things - you surely after 5 years owe it to her and your sons to sit and talk to this woman and ask her about the spending etc?

yes of course, if her role is washing/ironing and she is taking it to a laundry to do then its not on - but buying hoover bags - really??? they might fit your hoover.

you need to stop jumping to conclusions and talk to her. There may well be a pefectly innocent explanation and she maybe just feels after 5 years that she is able to make these types of decision without consulting you.
you need to put her straight.
talk to her. then decide what to do. You sound as though you do not give out very clear rules or boundaries and expect your nannies to be mind readers.

has she been ill these last few weeks ?
making her unable to do the ironing?
what is the kitty money for?
hover bags ......
if you dont want her buying the kids food from morrsons say so
and you always buy all food for live in

What else has changed in the last 3 months? Maybe it would help to look at what has triggered this... she hasn't been spending amounts in the past which you felt were unreasonable (fair to say that?) yet in the last 3 months she has been spending money on things that you don't consider reasonable... why? What's changed? Family problems? Boyfriend trouble? Health concerns?

Talk to them about it. Highlight the things you have noticed and ask why things have changed from how they were in the past.

Is removing the credit card an option? Does she really need it?

Somehow I feel there is more to this...

If she's not supposed to be doing your cleaning, why did you write ...

On top of that she is she says too busy to do cleaning yet most days is somewhere other than my house in our car

Of course it's hard to confront someone in this situation, but you have your kids to think about and you need to find a way through this instead of stropping and threatening to fire her.

10 nannies/au pairs - 9 others all worse than this one, of course there's more to it

There has to be, no-one finds a receipt for hoover bags from Amazon (that was listed on their statement, so not a secret) and decides that their beloved nanny of five-years is a raging theif and must go immediately.