My nanny is taking the p**s and dont anyone try and tell me otherwise.......

[3rdcornet]

Ive have emplyed 5 au pairs and 5 nannies. All of them bar 1 have taken the piss out of me to varying degrees.

The current so to be not one is a nanny/HK to my 2 teenagers. `fully ofsted registered and paid £26k a year live in ( in Manchester ).

I have discovered she is taking some ( not all ) of our laundry to the local ironing service and paying for it out of the kitty. Treating her self to lunch and coffee out of the kitty most days ( usually in Starbucks ) and shopping exclusively for her food for her self contained accomodation on the family credit card ( which is for work use only ) in Marks and Spencesr when she shops for the children in Morrisons and won't eat what they are eating.

On top of that she is she says too busy to do cleaning yet most days is somewhere other than my house in our car. I know this because we have randomdly popped home during the day and she is out in our car not hers and I can see where she has been using the credit card......35 miles in the opposite direction to the one school run she needs to do a day.

She also sneaks things for her own home through amazon on our account too. Ive found the delivery notes in the bin !!!

Dear God I feel a fool. I thought I could trust this one. The others have mainly been worse. The one before faked a family death to get a months compassionate leave and snuck off to America on holiday. She never came back !!

Oh well. You live and learn. I will never employ a nanny again Thank goodness and good luck and my commiserations to all of you who unfortunately still have no choice.

Im here for advice !!!!!!!Coz I got it so right !

So maybe she did the school run and then needed to go to the shop. Is she expected to drive back to change cars?
How do you know she's not gone to get shopping and stopped for coffee.
If you hadn't agreed food budget for her then you need to. I wouldn't want to eat what teenagers eat either.

we changed cleaners last summer as my old one retired and I suggested that she could take on the role as the boys were older and she declined and said she didnt have time to do that and everything else she had to do.

She isnt a raging theif. I never said that at all.

She has just become I think very comfortable thinks we can afford it and I dont check up. She knows that I dont ask for receiptes anymore and I have told her outright that Im not bothered about seeing them because I trust her.

We had this convo after she had been with us about a year.

She has betrayed my trust.

I will not sack her. But I will discuss with her tomorrow . If she cannot explain to my satisfaction then she will be my ex nanny/HK.

I guess its interesting to know from you all that you generally think that the food expenditure is not unreasonable when I think that is outrageous ! She has time to bake a cake if she wants one not spend £4 on a Mand S one to scoff all by herself !!!

I am more than happy her to drive my car to do the family shopping. She passes 3 large supermarkets o her way to school.

But not to go 35 miles in the opposite direction during the working day when she should be doing my ironing to shop in M and s for her food !!!

Surely you dont think that is reasonable ?

I do think £50 on food for one person is a bit much if that helps, but I don't think it constitues dishonesty or theft.

I think you're right that she has got comfortable. Maybe she got away with it once or twice, saw it hadn't been noticed and then went further and further.

I think you're right to have that talk with her and I can see why you would want to keep her as she's worked with you for so long, but would you be able to trust her again? You need to think now about what steps you'll put in place to stop her from doing it again.

There is far more to this than we know.

The hoover bags sound like a bit of an issue here. Are they for the hoover in her accommodation? TBH, I would expect you to provide hoover bags for that hoover.

If you will never employ a nanny again, who will care for your DC?

babyheave you are so right. She thinks I know and I am comfortable with it so thats good.

I dont think she is dishonest but I do think she is taking the piss and Im sad that she has little respect for me.

this is the same nanny who has had a weeks salary cash as a bonus every christmas in her card as well as as pressie to the value of £100 from the boys and never once said thankyou or even mentioned it. I just assumed she was embarrased !

she has a dyson in her cottage !!! No bags required. TBH I wish I had never mentioned the bloody hoover bags !!!! ROFL

Sorry, I can't get past what she does for 26k. She takes the DCs to school, collects them from school, does the supermarket shopping, washes the clothes (in, I presume, a washing machine) and does the ironing. She lives in her own, self contained, flat as part of the deal. If any of that is wrong, please correct me.

Hell, I live a 90 min drive away - I'll commute to you to do that job for 26k!

Why on earth are you paying for her food outside of working hours anyway? If you already provide breakfast, lunch & dinner does she really need an extra £50 a week worth?

So if she doesn't even need the hoover bags who are they for, what is she doing with them?!

I think the hoover bags may be the key to solving the riddle!

So, she is working 7-8am and 5-6.30pm, and doing washing and ironing and food shopping? Surely washing/ironing/shopping wouldn't take more than an hour a day, so if she has the weekends off that would add up to about 17 1/2 hours' work. Half of a standard working week, at most. And for that she is being paid 26k, while living in?

Popoozle it is standard to provide food for a live-in nanny/housekeeper. I would expect the £50 to cover all meals, not just the off-duty ones.

I think you've had some odd responses OP. I wouldn't expect my (lovely) nanny to take herself off to Starbucks at my expense unless she was for some reason there with the DCs (can't imagine why that would be necessary) but going by herself to have a coffee and cake and charging me? No. That's not the same as her sharing our food. Shopping at M&S sounds just overindulgent - who of us does that for ourselves 100% of the time?

Ordering things on Amazon on your account is theft. You need to get to the bottom of the hoover bags thing but unless for some obscure reason they actually are for your home, that is theft and abuse of trust.

But the bit that stands out most is taking your laundry to the dry cleaners. if she is paid to do this and takes the money and then gets you to pay again for someone else to do it without telling you (and without there being a good reason like wanting some special dry cleaning treatment on something) then she has totally lost perspective and respect and needs to go.

I've just read the cottage bit - the job comes with a cottage. I'm there. Where do I sign?

Hands off popoozle, I was there first.

'Ordering things on Amazon on your account is theft'

NOT NECESSARILY!

She has a credit card in order to do shopping for the OP.

It depends what it is she has ordered and why.

It's not beyond the realm of possibility that the hoover bags were for the OP is it? Since we've established she has a dyson and doesn't even need hoover bags!

HolyNo - I think it's fair enough to provide meals on duty - I didn't realise it was normal to provide the "extras" too. I agree that £50 just for extras seems rather extravagant & should be able to cover all food for one person.

ATruth - sorry, job share perhaps?

It wasn't something the OP had asked her to buy. When would you ever use someone else's Amazon account to buy something they hadn't asked for? Let's assume the nanny did this for good reason (thought she needed hoover bags for the Dyson because she's a bit dim?) - it's still not ok to buy things with someone else's money without asking first or unless you've been given a general permission (buy the kids new school uniform as and when they need it, sort of thing).

Well if nothing else the OP has found herself a few potential new nannies!

Popoozle how do you feel about hoover bags?

Atruth starbucks during the working day; what are your views?

If you can afford a nanny on £26, how much do you earn?

Sounds like your people management skills aren't too hot...

At Christmas, I ordered a headlight torch (as a joke for a friend), it arrived (eventually) but on the invoice it was a 'box of glasses' the item & price were right, so I didn't care, just thought it was funny - however, it was a little less funny when headlight torch didn't work and I needed a replacement. They said it wasn't the right item etc etc took them a while to sort out that the code had been used twice. Might not actually be hoover bags!

If you don't trust her why on earth would you NOT sack her?

You have someone living in your house who you don't trust, in sole charge of your children (albeit big children).

Get a bloody au pair FGS, you don't need full time help, spend £200 a week on a cleaner instead. The focus on childcare is the mistake, you don't actually need a high falootin' Mary Poppins for teenagers. You need someone who is reliable that's all.

whomoved - a little thing like employment law :)

margo You employ a qualified/experienced nanny or housekeeper instead of an au pair, in part so that they can use their initiative and do things as needed without consulting you at every turn, thus allowing you to get on with your important high-powered job. The fact that the OP has given the nanny a credit card and that it is her job to do household shopping indicates that she has been given 'general permission' to buy things as needed.

For example, a couple of weeks ago the cleaner was here and she told me her bucket was cracked and she had no bleach. We were on our way to the shops anyway so while there we picked up a bucket and some bleach. I made a note in the diary and left it at that. When MB noticed the new bucket a 'thanks for that' was all that was said. Had I phoned her at work to ask permission to buy a bucket and some bleach I don't think she would have been best pleased. I'm not a bleach/bucket thief, just someone who uses their initiative when a job needs doing!