Thermos -from a nanny's perspective- I love my charges. I care for them, wipe their noses, pick them up when they fall, say 'no' when I need to, give them hugs when they need them. I do everything a parent does throughout the day, then hand them over to either mum or dad knowing the girls are well cared for and loved by all of us. I don't think they suffer or will have 'damage' suddenly manifest in adulthood because the person caring for them for a portion of the week isn't their parent. I'm choosing to do this job, its my passion and I know that not all parents have that passion for spending time with babies, even their own. No judgement, I just know babies aren't for everyone as evidenced by several posts saying similar things. I get up in the morning feeling excited about getting to work and seeing what the girls have gotten up to! 11mo is finally crawing, I can't wait to see her pull herself up for the first time! 4 year old is making friends and tells me amazing things about her achool day. I know them, know their personalities and loves and hates and fears. Are they suffering? I don't think so!
In this case, I know mumboss went back to work as the family needs the two incomes to survive, pay bills etc. They do everything they can to spend time with their kids, coming home early when they can or working from home. The girls love mum and dad, and hearing the baby's squeals when I get to work and hearing a little 4 year old voice saying hi and getting excited over the day show me they care for me too.
In my longest position, I cried the first time the baby clapped because she had been through so much medically and emotionally- born at 25 weeks, suffered a stroke and chronic lung disease. I met her when she was 9 months old, three months after she came home from hospital. So those first 6 months she was away from her mum, who had to recover and take care of her older DD too. The seperation was nesesary and still she is growing up a happy and adjusted child. To suggest she will at some point show emotional damage is just rude and hurtful to all parents who have had some form of seperation, whether for medical needs or financial reasons for going back to work.
All my charges have been loved and cared for. Admittedly not all of my bosses have gone back to work for financial reasons, and sometimes I've felt bad for my little charges not seeing as much of mum and dad as they should be. But I try and offer more love and support and try to help them develope into loving, happy kids.
I have to wonder your views on adoptive parents? If a parent meets their adopted child for the first time at a few months old, for example, are they 'strangers' to the child and do you think the child will be harmed? Or single fathers, or gay couples- most of your posts refer only to the mother, do dads not play a part? What about young mums who have to return to school in order to secure a future for the child?
My own view is a child needs love. Love and the feeling of being loved and cared for, safety and security. I do everything I can to give that to my charges, in the same way any parent would. Or any nanny, nursery worker, childminder, grandparent or any other carer. Thats the important thing, not nesesarily that the only person who can provide it is thr mother.
-and breathe-