Leaving a young baby for 10+ hours a day

[kcj748]

I am about to have my first baby in November and plan to return to work full time four or five months later. I am incredibly nervous about leaving my baby at this age for such a long amount of time. I don't have the option of working part time so this will be five days a week for at least ten hours a day. My husband works even longer hours. A family member could possibly help out one day a week but we would mostly have to do childcare. My salary will only just cover a full time nanny but I love my job and really wouldn't want to have to let it go. Ideally we would be leaving our baby with a childminder but I have no idea at what age this is realistic and am terribly nervous about leaving my baby at someone else's house and with someone won't be able to give him exclusive attention.

Is it completely insane to think any of this will be possible? Does anyone have any advice about childminders/nurseries and other possible options?

thank you theyoungvisiter, he is very very loved (even by the nurses that cared for him) xx

babyheave can me and the boy be your evil side kicks????

And me (babyheave and amandaB22)
god forbid we Would go to work, and leave our children.

Babyheave...perhaps yours and mine could have babies together? Just think of the chaos...

OP I did it. No choice. I went back to work full full time when ds was 3 months old. He bonded extremely well with his lovely childminder. She didn't exactly do everything as I would have done (issues about what constitutes appropriate a healthy diet etc) but she loved himand provided a loving secure environment.

Pros - Ds is now 15, healthy, happy, sociable, outgoing and academic and extremely close to me. No harm done to him. (except a few too many biscuits at a young age)

Cons - I regret the time I didn't have with him. I felt guilty and miserable (and still do 15 years later). Very hard on me.

But end result - I know I had no choice and would do the same thing again.

Absolutely!

We need lots of feet for that trampling you know.

Babyheave:

I'm checking out private volcanic islands just in case.

www.privateislandsonline.com/caillecbgr.htm is available for the ridiculous price of USD 20000000. A bargain, surely, for a money grabber like the average working mum.

So it's abhorrent to say a mother should not leave her little baby for 50 hours a week?

Quite frankly I don't care what you think of me. But I do care about babies who want their mums but are forcibly separated from them at a young age for long periods of time just so the mother can fulfill her own wishes.

Thermos

You have strong views on this subject and you must appreciate that the vast majority of parents have their dcs best interests at heart, whether they choose to work or not, whether you agree with their choices or not.

Do you teach your children that different families do things in different ways? Or is your family's way always right?

I think that it's important to teach tolerance to children, and to avoid the sort of black and white thinking which can lead to extreme views in adult life.

Op

You will know what's right for you when the time comes. Plan for whatever you think you will want, but be sure to be honest with how you feel if it's not working for you further down the line.

NotADude - Wonderful that's a volcanic knoll for each child.

Eldest DC has already been asking for an evil laboratory. I just need to get him to chose between developing weapons or germ warfare so we know how to stock it.

Slam of course your baby bonded with his childminder, because, you, his mother was unavailable. And you think that's ok? I'm truly gobsmacked, I really am.

thank you for caring about my young baby forciably removed from me the momment i pushed him into the world, another person who cares about him is always nice to have

Themes, she's only working 50hours a week, that leaves 118 hours of quality time with the child.

OP, plenty of my DC's friends' parents work, including full time. I do explain to my DC's that sometimes both parents work and that I also used to work before they were born. I don't make any comments to my DC's about whether parents should work, but they say to me that they are glad I'm around to collect from school etc and they don't have to go to after school club etc.

There is nothing wrong with an opinion.

There is a difference between optimal and wrong

You are either deliberately missing the point and choosing to be vile or I really question your mental capacity.

Fulfilling own wishes? Yes I did fulfill my own wish to keep a roof over our heads. Selfish, selfish.

Thermos

So would you strongly advise your children not to work when they have children of their own? Or would you let them do what they think is right?

My suggestion is if you do go back to work full time.Get some help at home. Your weekends will be so precious. Get a cleaner, someone to iron and shop on line for your groceries. Life will be busy and hectic so cut yourself some slack... Best of luck!

I've seen the light. I'm going to give up my job with all its excellent prospects as stay at home until DS is 5.

Thermos' big problem is that he/she/it doesn't like the idea that women are people. In Thermosworld, women are appendages who come second to everyone else and if they are not actively denying themselves everything they can think of, they are not performing properly. So it's 'harmful' for a mother to do anything that takes her away from her baby if she enjoys it, but not harmful if it's through circumstances beyond her control.

do you think we have uncovered Daftpunks evil twin?

I just skimmed this thread and I wish I hadn't. What nasty, judgemental, ill-informed opinion there is from thermos.