Yup, Boff's got through another nanny ...

[BoffinMum]

Sooooo, my latest nanny's just told me she's resigning because she doesn't enjoy looking after my eldest DC (aged 13). And she wants to go back to Turkey to be with her mum (nanny is 32).

Hand me the chocolate.

I think I am facing career death, because I can't imagine going through childcare trauma for 9 months again like last time. So I am thinking about sitting on the sofa all day watching Jeremy Kyle instead. I only make £25 a week going to work at the moment anyway. Why bother?

It's a bit useless telling me not to say something I've already said. Not that I'm inclined to to obey your command anyway.

Boffin - I can't believe you are 'here' again :(

Definitely a male au pair/manny, one that's happy to tuck the little 'un under one arm and play rugby with the other two at the same time and if he just happens to be a fittie as well.... it's just a bonus isn't it

You need to look at other work options that will give you more satisfaction. Maybe try asking a couple of close friends if they have any idea why you have been passed over for things - tell them to be bruttttttaly honest. You cannot stay home and watch JK - you'll go out of your mind in a week!!

oh dear.. yet again this has become a sahm v working mum.. what a bloody shame..

its obvious that Boffin wants to work and not stay at home.. thats her right isnt it.. and there should be easy access to affordable child care in her area.

if someone wants to be a sahm then thats her right as well..

however their are prices to pay.. as a now working mum I spend less time with my kids and am knackered BUT can afford holidays and treats.. as a sahm I couldnt afford jack but was there 24/7 for my kids... thats life..

can we all stop assumning that all sahms are bitchy jeremy kyle watching idiots and can we also stop assuming that all working mums put their kids last and careers first.. both are stupid lazy steriotypes and untrue...

"oh dear.. yet again this has become a sahm v working mum.. what a bloody shame.."

No it hasn't, though Boff didn't help with her patronising remarks about SAHMs. And btw plenty of SAHMs can afford holidays and treats

Anyway, best of luck to Boff and her future nannies.

i'm not sure exactly what ages your children are but i am assuming in the 2 to 13 range. I agree with other posters that finding the same care for both ends of the range is likely to be difficult - it's the same as the nanny/housekeeper problem in that most people will be better at one end of the range than the other so the trick is, I think, to work out what is your minimum requirement for both and then hope to improve on it.

What I would consider in your position is using a combination of nursery and housekeeper.

When my last nanny left (to have her own baby) my youngest was 9 (eldest was 14) and we didn't really want to get another as the children felt they didn't need looking after, although obviously they did. We got a housekeeper who would also do the afternoon primary school run - the older two came home on the bus.

This worked, and still does, because the teenagers don't come home to an empty house, there's someone to notice if they are late and there's someone to prepare their tea. We also get our housework and laundry done.

I found the person through an agency - I spoke to the person running it and explained in detail our requirements and she found me a perfect candidate. She is not English but that was not an issue for us - she was a German teacher in her native country but her English is not good enough to get a teaching job here - and I guess her qualifications may not be recognised.

If you were able to get a nursery place for you preschooler then this might work for you? CAT me if you want the agency name. Good luck!

mrs w i think BB (boffys boys) are 2 , 8 and 13

I did not say all SAHMs watched Jeremy Kyle and surfed the sofa, only that I probably would if I stayed at home. I did on maternity leave. Remember I am disabled.

In terms of setting up my own gang, we have various committees for curriculum, finance, facilities, staffing and so on at the school and I sit on these with like minded parents. Surprise surprise these are all busy working people and the SAHMs are nowhere in evidence. Similarly running the choir I help with and organising the various community events around here. I am good chums with a number of other working parents, I just have no patience with people that take lots and give little whilst lecturing others on neglecting children.

I have been a parent 24 years, I actually have 4 kids (24, 10, 8, 2), I have spent plenty of time wiping people, thank you very much, but I am off being an educationalist now, which means my efforts benefit all children rather than just my own. I happen to think it is rather selfish keeping an education to yourself and that women should participate in public life more.

So fuck off with your unconditional parenting rubbish and your baggage and your assumptions about other people.

Oh calm down, dear. I'm not into unconditional parenting and I contribute plenty to my community.

Arf at you being an educationalist now and benefiting all children

Good luck with finding someone to care for your two year old.

Boffin, I think I love you..... Here:

Hope you sort out your childcare problems once and for all.

Boff I have no advice to give but sorry you are having all this stress x

I got as far as you eating nannies then started laughing

Just in case my post looked weird , I was referring to BoffinMum's last post - very therapeutic to see that written down.

How's it going? Has the nanny set a date for going, and have you made any progress with a solution?