Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Yup, Boff's got through another nanny ...

138 replies

BoffinMum · 19/05/2011 21:46

Sooooo, my latest nanny's just told me she's resigning because she doesn't enjoy looking after my eldest DC (aged 13). And she wants to go back to Turkey to be with her mum (nanny is 32).

Hand me the chocolate.

I think I am facing career death, because I can't imagine going through childcare trauma for 9 months again like last time. So I am thinking about sitting on the sofa all day watching Jeremy Kyle instead. I only make £25 a week going to work at the moment anyway. Why bother?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Blondeshavemorefun · 22/05/2011 17:59

thats my way of thinking as well strix

you get wrap around care and then ap can chill a bit during the day before mad run of nursery/school pick up

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis · 22/05/2011 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum · 22/05/2011 21:37

I can earn more in two hours teaching 7 year olds piano than I earn trekking 70 miles and back every day for a week, if you take childcare and commuting out of the equation. Says a lot. Can be dull, but it is money ...

Squiffs, we did not have as much luck as you with APs - I think only 2 or 3 of ours were as good as that and are still in touch. Interestingly they were the really bright ones, with working mothers as well.

Have phoned kids' old nursery and left message for manager, who will most llikely remember us and that might help me get a place for DS3 if required, I hope. If I got help with the nursery run it might be an answer, I suppose.

OP posts:
plupervert · 23/05/2011 13:01

That comment about the piano teaching underlines the impression that you are a person who is disciplined and multi-skilled enough to have and manage a portfolio career, so again, please don't feel that you can only solve this problem through childcare, as this could be the most difficult way of solving your problem!

Does the Open University, with its time-shifted, off-campus way of working, have anything to offer you, or is it too low-level/not sufficiently specialised?

itunes has a stack of lectures online, proving that educational content is delivered in increasingly differentiated ways.

University publishers and presses need reliable (and accredited) writers (reliable because editors absolutely HATE late and badly written or off-topic copy). Specialist publications need reliable and accredited reviewers. I ended up in the trade press six years after I graduated, and was extremely pissed off I hadn't got there sooner, as it is a more stable revenue model than mainstream or consumer media, offers possibilities to specialise, offers its own world of validation, depends very heavily on freelance and part-time/contracted work... Having known all this earlier would have saved me a lot of aggro and crappy jobs!

Sorry to derail the discussion rom childcare, but as your story shows, childcare is the hardest thing for parents (most commonly mothers - boo hiss) to manage, and you have made comments elsewhere about changing the work side of things...

plupervert · 23/05/2011 13:18

In the meantime, here is a nanny-related dilemma to cheer you up!

(Or allow you to rant and thereby blow off steam and get rid of some of the despair and weariness which has been colouring more and more of your postings...)

BoffinMum · 23/05/2011 15:07

Well, mindful as ever of the sterling advice on MN, I have spent a fair bit of time today investigating alternative careers and putting out feelers in the area of management consultancy, local jobs and other things. See, I do listen to you. Wink

As pointed out, I do have masses of skills, seriously masses, and I am also multilingual and so on, which makes it a constant source of bafflement to me that I earn hardly more than I spend on overheads, and I often end up watching my jobs turn into little more than routine admin roles rather than what I was really trained and employed for. I watch considerably less qualified, experienced people whizz ahead and enjoy nice little working arrangements with shorter hours, more money, more interesting work and more recognition. I must be doing something wrong, surely? But what?

I made the mistake of looking for jobs at my old university as well this morning, and once again, saw less qualified and experienced people nicely ensconced in unadvertised posts I had been trying to sniff around for and network towards over the last couple of years, and I had to say to myself, in the manner of single women rejected in love, "Boff, they're just not that into you, so ditch the jealousy because they're not wurf it." A bit of me fails to believe that though, and thinks just like the horse in Orwell's 1984 that if I just work even harder, all will be well. I am probably deluded. Sad But why?

I am open to new ideas. However my concern about going freelance (again) is that I will make even less than my overheads, as in the past I have not found it to be sufficiently profitable for it to wash its face in career terms. I simply am not able to find enough work to pay me more than £10k a year. How do other people do it?

I am all questions and few answers at the moment. Meanwhile, I have registered with a couple of agencies, nannyshare.co.uk and aupairworld while I think about it all.

I think I may be having a mid-life crisis of sorts.

OP posts:
plupervert · 23/05/2011 21:35

With your background in education and current knowledge of higher education, have you thought about educational consultancy (e.g. Gabbitas or being a school registrar? The latter is basically a sales job for a school, so has to pay, and with the fact that some of the major markets for independent/private schools in the UK are abroad, language skills are a plus (for example, French could help in parts of regions like North Africa, where things have been unstable enough for wealthy people to be nervous about keeping their children there...).

BoffinMum · 23/05/2011 21:53

Interesting idea, I never thought of that. [Hmm]

OP posts:
thebody · 23/05/2011 22:25

strange nanny woman.. 13 is a great age.. vulnerable but trying to be grown up..

sorry for you .. minefield..though I was a sahm for a while and wouldnt dream of watching jeremy kyle shite to be honest..
also i was the only mum at the school gate WITHOUT a degree.. who cares whether someone has a degree or not. not important is it really...lets face it child birth is the best leveler..

bet there are some mums there who are your cup of tea. you just havnt had time to meet them pehaps.. now you can..good luck..

NoelEdmondshair · 24/05/2011 11:51

"joining the sofa surfing classes is however still an option"

you can stop being such a snotty cow for a start! No wonder the mums at school (many of whom probably have degrees etc) shun you and why you don't get ahead in your career due to your lack of inter-personal skills.

And maybe your DS would enjoy you spending a bit of time with him before he starts school.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/05/2011 13:37

'heave herself to her full 5ft 7in'

boffy is NOT a snotty cow!!!!!

BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 16:09

I do have a strong personality (like half of MN), but I'm really not snotty, so please can we leave that accusation and move on with tips for getting me out of this sticky situation? Ta.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 16:10

BTW I should add that they voted me in as a parent governor against eight other people, so I am not exactly persona non grata down there ....

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 24/05/2011 18:46

'waves banner'

blondes loves boffy

BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 21:12

Love you too, Blondes.

Ah, that's the other thread. Sorry. Grin

OP posts:
NoelEdmondshair · 24/05/2011 21:45

"Enjoy life as a SAHM?
Yeah, they'll bloody love talking to me at the school gate even more than they do now, what with my uppity degrees and forrin ways and so on.
I meant it when I said I am going to sit at home. The rest of the SAHM gang around here aren't very nice at all and I've got nothing in common with them apart from a reproductive system and a postcode. They have made that more than clear."

Sounds like a snotty cow to me. And I meant it about you spending some time with your DS.

BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 22:16

Hang on.

They have a little gang that meet down the pub and around each others' houses and exclude all the mums who

a) graft at school events setting up tables, clearing up rubbish, baking and so on (they all disappear when the hard work starts)
b) do any kind of paid work that involves leaving the home or showing a bit of initiative
c) are anything other than white British
d) don't drive (they are 4x4 lovers)
e) are working class (god forbid you are a single parent around here)
f) are disabled (one time they all bagsied chairs for each other and I had nowhere to park myself plus crutches - I think they expected me to sit on the floor)

Who's the snotty one??????

Why am I even defending myself????? This is really not a nice group of people. Which is why I don't have a lot to do with them any more.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 22:25

I am sure DS would love to spend 24 hours a day with his dad and his siblings as well but it ain't going to happen.

What is it with all this cooping up women in the house around the clock with small children with no light relief in sight? It's so 1950s. At least then you could stick them in a big pram and tell their brothers and sisters to push them around the block until tea time a la Janet and Alan Alberg, whilst you has a secret swig from the cooking sherry bottle and listen to the wireless for a bit.

And at least nannies get to bugger off home at the end of the day and have a bit of respite from the wiping.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 22:26

NoelEdmonds I think you are a judgemental bitch actually.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 24/05/2011 22:40

noel you seem to have a problem with boffy Shock Hmm

why :(

she is a wonderful supportive lady and much loved and known on the childminder/nanny boards

NoelEdmondshair · 24/05/2011 23:54

Boff - it's perfectly possible to be a SAHM without turning into a soafer-surfing-jeremy-kyle-watching dolt.

You don't appear to be getting much fulfilment from your career and little remuneration for all the commuting you do and stress you suffer.

You have a young son who is being raised by nanny/ies. Why not chuck in the thankless job you have and spend some time with your little boy?

minderjinx · 25/05/2011 08:10

Hang on a minute, if the cliquey school gate gang exclude all the other Mums who don't do this, that and the other, there must be a lot of Mums and possibly Dads who don't fit into this gang (and maybe some who are in, loosely speaking, but who would rather be out if there were an alternative). You can't be the only lovely parent at school.

Time to form your own gang! To start with, there must be others who do all the "graft at school events setting up tables, clearing up rubbish, baking" etc. How about suggesting some sort of social event afterwards? A little bit of company, sympathy and support from like-minded parents might go a way to help you feel less stressed about your situation - and might also point you in the direction of some practical help, such as nanny/au pair recommendations, or a fellow mum who might be willing to trade after school childcare or help in some other way.

Strix · 25/05/2011 08:39

NoelEdmonds, back off. You are spoiling an otherwise nice and helpful thread.

StillSquiffy · 25/05/2011 09:22

NoelEdmunds, you are clearly NOT a working mum, and clearly NOT a nanny and clearly have issues with mums who work. So why jump on a board that is specifically not aimed at people like you?

Unless you are so mind-numbingly bored with your SAH life that you have nothing better to do, obviously.

NoelEdmondshair · 25/05/2011 13:36

Don't tell me to back off, Strix - this is a discussion board.

Squiffy - I don't have issues with WOHM Hmm though you and Boff clearly have issues with SAHM which is a shame.

Just trying to offer Boff some perspective, which she clearly needs if she is commuting 3 hours a day to a job she doesn't enjoy, barely pays its way, leaves her young son for very long hours being cared for by someone else and she has an unjustified superiority complex about the other mothers in her area.