nanny driving issue

[silverfrog]

we have had our live-in nanny with us for 6 weeks or so now.

she is doing reasonably well at adjusting and coping (dd1 is ASD, this is nanny's first SN placement).

BUT

a large part of her job is driving - school runs (dds go to 2 different schools, always will. dd1's school run is 15 miles each way, part motorway, part urban, part tiny country lanes). nanny has never driven in this country before, but does hold full EU licence, and has doen for a few years. drives happily and confidently in her home country (apparently)

we have, all along, been upfront about the drive - highlighted that it wasn't for the fainthearted, that she would need to be comfortable driving as, due to timing differences etc, a large part of her job is driving.

we explicitly asked her if she thought she would be ok doing this. she said she would, but would appreciate some refresher lessons - we took this to mean gettingused ot driving on the left, familiarisation wit route kind of stuff. we agreed this, and have, imo, been generous in paying for these lessons.

she has, so far, had 10 hours of lessons - mostly in a dual control car ( - starting to look more like actual learnng to drive than refresher lessons) but has now moved on to using my car for lessons.

lessons have been taken in her normal working hours, thus inconveniencing me even more - I have had to drive an absolute tank of a car (Mercedes Viano) down narrow country lanes to fetch dd1 at times. I don't really mind, but it's not the greatest thing to have to do, especially in the wet.

so anyway. nanny had what was supposed ot be her last lesson yesterday.

today, she has made no mention of driving at all. not a query as to how we might handle the change over, not a peep at all.

so I took dd1 to school. came back, nanny wanted to take dd2 swimming, and expected her usual lift there and back.

then I had to set off to get dd1 form school (Friday + half day at her SN school). I get back to the house at 2.30pm, having had about 30 mins to myself all day, snatched in between school runs and taxi runs.

I ask nanny why she didn't drive at all today, not even to go into town swimming with dd2 (about 3 mile round trip ), and she says "because I felt a bit scared to do it, but I will be ok form Monday"

now I am deeply that she will be ok on Monday - what's going to change between now and then? (no more lessons booked)

I am away next week form Tuesday to friday, so it looks as though dd1 will not be going to school (how am I supposed ot be comfortable with her driving the girls around if, after 10 hours of refresher lessons she is too worried to even drive the car into town and park in the nice, generously sized spaces at theleisure centre?)

I'm screwed, really, aren't I?

We're heading into winter, its already dark by the time I collect dd1 after school - there's no way I'm going to trust her easily on the school run.

so, it's look for a new nanny, or shell out for even more lessons (which I am *seriously about - we agreed to a couple of lessons, and have already more than covered that, imo)

wwyd?

i was wondering that? SF come back and tell us all :0

Will do - got back late last night, out to lunch just now. Will he back later to update once dh and I have fully talked through options.

:)

hope conference was good

Uh oh. Options....

Sounds like things are pretty undecided, which is good if nanny coped! Or not. Maybe.

Well,

The week went well. I had no worries about her competence - I couldn't have gone away if I did. The girls were happy enough (some issues at bedtimes, but only to be expected). I spoke to them each day, and they certainly seemed to be coping ok.

But.

The fact remains that she cannot adequately do a large part of her job. And I cannot see that getting any better any time soon. I do not want her to practise driving with the children in the car, I do not feel she is safe enough for that (nattering children can be very distracting, and nanny is very much at the learner end of the spectrum - no fluidity to her driving at all, she has to concentrate entirely on each and every gear change. She checked twice with me that she was going the right way - this is a route she has driven at least once a week for the past 6 weeks. I have no confidence that if she drove she wouldn't end jpp late/lost, and that is if I could set aside the safety aspect in the first place.)

So.

It looks like she will have to go.

Dh and I talked through a few options re: asking her to practise more, pay for more lessons herself,etc, but really, with the way the weather has changed this last week, we are well into winter weather now, and I can't see her getting enough confidence for me to let her drive the school run before spring now, as once the lanes get properly sloppy/flooded/iced over you really do need confidence and experience to cope.

So any of those options would leave me driving the girls for the next few months, Whilst also paying her a full-time wage for only doing about 60% of her job - it just doesn't make sense.

She is very capable as a nanny, but not beyond-our-wildest-dreams Mary Poppins type, so overall not worth our while to keep on.

Thanks for letting me talk this through, and giving me lots of valuable advice along the way

When are you going to tell her?

Well them , to avoid find yourself in the same situation, next time you think you have found the type of nanny you require, explain to them exactly why you need them to be a absolute confident driver them rent a car similar to yours for few hours with their licence and go for a drive to the places they will be going to. With both kids with you. I think you will know if she will be able to do their job and it will work out cheaper than 10 refreshment lesson tbh. If you are happy with their driving and childcare skills you can them go ahead with contract and move them in.
I think that you should have let this nanny go as soon as she asked for refreshment lessons if you need such a confident driver and you were the one who created the problem not making sure that the person you employed were able to do the job you required in the first place.

I think that is a little harsh, tbh. We explained the position to her.

She asked for refresher lessons as she had not driven in the uk before.

Before a couple of weeks ago, I had not driven in Germany before, yet I managed to hop into a Renault traffic (substantially larger than my normal car) and get around ok. I had not driven in europe for about 5 years at that point.

We stressed to her the importance of being a confident driver, and we dibble and triple checked this point with her.

We agreed to refresher lessons, as we understood it to mean a couple of lessons to orient herself a little around the neighbourhood, and get used to our car.

Not at all our fault that she lied about her competence.

The only thing we could have done differently would have been to ask her to drive at interview, but since she had not driven in the uk before, we thought that would be a harsh ask - to jump straight into your possible boss' car, having just admitted to feeling a little nervous (note, a little nervous, not absolutely terrified!)

I repeat, I am not after perfection here - just not learner driver status. There is no need for advanced driver skills, as I am happy for a slightly longer route to be taken which is mostly on easy roads.

Have you told her? Best and most fair to her to let her know asap so she knows where she stands.

She is currently out. We will let her know asap, naturally.

Agree you need a competant driver esp the way the weather has been recently and with your lanes and tbh both will get worse and stay bad till possibly feb/march

it's not your fault this nanny didn't work out , you stressed she needed to be a good safe driver

she unfortunally lied :( and I think she took on too much. You did what you could to try and make her a better driver by paying for lessons but it hasn't worked

as I suggested before you def need to take any nannys you are thinking of hiring on a test drive on 2nd interview to monitor their driving skills

it may be worth only considering British nannys with 10yrs driving exp

good luck in telling the nanny and finding a new one

do you have to have a live in nanny? By having a live out one you are expanding your search net esp as you MUST have a confident driver

She asked for refresher lessons as she had not driven in the uk before so, not confident enough for the the type of job...

We stressed to her the importance of being a confident driver, and we dibble and triple checked this point with her now you learnt that one shouldnt always believe in what they hear specially when it is an employee applying for a job and they will say whatever it takes to get it, even lie on the CV.

We agreed to refresher lessons, as we understood it to mean a couple of lessons to orient herself a little around the neighbourhood, and get used to our car again if you needed such a confident driver this was the wrong person and it was written all over her face.

Not at all our fault that she lied about her competence she did not tottally lie about her competence she was not as confident as you needed, but competen as you said yourself before, altough I accept she was not 100% honest, maybe she thought after 10 lessons she would be ok or else you would offer more, I dont know...

The only thing we could have done differently would have been to ask her to drive at interview that is what I suggest and what I would do being in your shoes.

but since she had not driven in the uk before, we thought that would be a harsh ask - to jump straight into your possible boss' car, having just admitted to feeling a little nervous (note, a little nervous, not absolutely terrified!) again all the signs she was not THE ONE and you ignored.

I repeat, I am not after perfection here - just not learner driver status. There is no need for advanced driver skills, as I am happy for a slightly longer route to be taken which is mostly on easy roads.....sorry but now you contradicted the whole topic...

And I am sure you are not after perfection as you may know you will never find it...

I did not mean to attack you here but just to point out that you could have been more straight foward and pratical from the start.

To advertise a job for someone who need to be a confident driver in the UK and to employ someone who has not driven in the UK before and need 10 refresment lessons does not make any sense at all.

If she is such a good nanny can you not have a nanny and a driver as I know it is difficult to find someone who can tick all the boxes...and you dont want to hire next a very experienced and confident driver but dull nanny...

By the way, have you given her notice yet

Oh good idea nanny and driver. And since she won't be doing a huge part of the job, drop her wages the amount that the driver takes up.

And she always could go in the car with the kids to reassure them

We had thought about a wage drop, but dismissed it as the amount involved is likely to make nanny not want to stay.

It really didn't occur to us that someone would lie to this extent. We have had (temp) nannies before, and whilst not the same run, they have had equally tricky drives to do, and we have never had a problem.

Live in is ideal for us, as then have good continuity for babysitting etc, which is important for dd1. Although for the right person, if babysitting and travelling on holiday with us not a problem, then live out would be ok, although obv has financial implications too.

Anyway I bet she made a reasonable good ammount of money and lived in a nice bedroom while working for you, and I am sure you were very nice to her. Too nice. But sometimes when we are too nice to people they are not too nice back...
Hope you have more luck next time

Hi Silverfrog! waves

How are you and the girls?! I haven't spoken to you for a long time! Sorry to hear about your nanny issue. I would think that seeing as driving is such a huge part of the job she'd have to be hugely confident in it. You don't want a nervous driver with your two in the back. Did you sort the lessons out? Could you ask the instructor how she is getting on? Obviously you shouldn't have to check up on her but it seems like she's fobbing you off somewhat.. you'd think it would be a matter of hours to get used to roadsigns and opposite side of the road driving.

Anyway, hope you sort it out. Take care and say hello to everyone from me!

Charlie x

Hi Charlie, how's everything with you? And your brother?

All is well with us - more than well I fact. Dd1 has started at a new school, and is coming on so well.

Dd2 has just started pre-school, and is also doing well. They are a pair of cheeky, lively girls - much as you last saw them, with extra height and language skills

Instructor says it is all a matter of confidence now, which it is, as she certainly knows how to drive... But I cannot let her out with the girls - and without that, then there is little point in employing her.

Nice to "see" you again, hope all is well

Hi Silverfrog,
Sassy is being a little harsh - think you've had enough to deal with without added 'MN' attacks.
Good luck with the dismissal and finding the right one next time. As they say you live and learn.

agree sassy is a little harsh

employers are only human and they live and learn

good luck in your search

if only i could clone myself

I`ve never been asked at an interview/new job to show my licence?insurance or to drive employers Before I drive the children.Have you Blondes?good morning by the way.

afternoon :)

have been asked a few times to show driving license and a few jobs ago i went out with db in the car to check my driving and obviously got offered job :) and ex job they asked me to drive two cars to decide which one i wanted as nanny car, saab or Mitsubishi - but that was by myself

I've been asked for license to be insured in their car and to show insurance. I've also been asked to change my insurance cover been though I had fully comp with business use, which was slightly odd. License is also a form of ID showing address so good to tally up to match CRB.

Don't think I've ever had a driving 'test', even when taking jobs abroad.

I've often had to show my license. Managed to drive car into gate post first morning I drove with MB. Not a good start, but thankfully she found it funny!

I am totally at the content of this thread. There must be a huge communication breakdown in your house. The nanny in question would NEVER EVER:
1- lie or mislead you in any way
2- Not perform an expected and clearly communicated duty

You said you sat there and waited for her to bring up the driving, or waited for her to get in the car when you had not explicitly told her to do so. Were these things clearly communicated, or did you assume she knew something which she actually did not know?

And you wanted her to do things for you outside of her contracted hours? Of course she didn't want to. If my boss told me to come in on Saturday, I would expect him to pay me.

Seriously, nannies, how would you react if you were asked to come to work and not be paid on a day you do not normally work?

Now I don't know what happened, and I have not heard her side of the story. But I simply cannot believe this thread is about a person whom I know to be so different from the one described here.