Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

So sorry for all the spelling mistakes!

Hi 30ish, congratulations on the arrival of baby Oliver! I'm so glad to hear you're home and feeling better, and that you're happy with your decision. Sorry to hear about the blood loss and drain, although I'm totally in awe that you were up and about that same night, especially with the added complication. And wow, what a good size! You must have been relieved you went for the elcs when you heard that! Darcey was a relatively dainty 7lb 7. I never did find out what position she was in at delivery, although they said she was vaguely head down but not remotely engaged beforehand.

Glad to hear the breastfeeding is going well for you too. We've hit a brick wall with that one, it's just become so painful that I've had to resort to bottles and expressing for a bit while my poor boobs recover. Nothing to do with the CS, I had the same problem last time around. On the plus side, Darcey is an absolute angel. So easy, and so different from her big brother as a newborn. I'm sure that the different births are at least partly why.

I'm day 6 post-CS now, and am feeling amazingly well. I can potter around the house and feel practically normal, although a brief walk to the local park yesterday was exhausting. Had half my staples out today which was fine, although it's stinging slightly now. Apparently it all looks fine.

Thanks all for your congratulations and kind words!

Congratulations 30ish! So pleased it all went well, wow, what a big boy! They've mentioned mine is going to be big & I've got a growth scan next week & to check what my placenta is doing (got placenta previa) so at least I'm a bit prepared for a big one!!
Thanks for sharing your experience too - this is my first baby & I was always having elcs even before I knew I had placenta previa so it's so nice to hear you all share how it went for you.
Hope you & ealey are enjoying your new arrivals & hope everyone else has safe deliveries to come xx

Congrats 30ish! So glad you and Oliver are home safely and feeing is going well. Sorry to hear about the blood loss and I hope the iron levels soon rebuild to help you feel strong again. I hope it's some comfort too as you recover that he is a BIG boy and may have been impossible to birth without another emcs or forceps etc and distress to him.

It is definitely not TMI - I don't think anyone on this thread is expecting an 'easy' birth. We've all had traumatic experiences that mean birth, well to me at least, is a risky process to be managed for best longterm outcomes for baby and mother - rather than a nice choice between pleasant holiday options!

I'm seeing the consultant friday to go over the details and one of my questions will be whether it is better for my bladder to get the catheter out asap or leave it 24 hours. Last time it came out I just had total incontinence so I'd love to avoid that this time! When these are the type of questions, rather than 'Can I choose a cd please' there is only gratefully received information!

Congratulations 30ish glad to hear you are both ok and enjoying settling in at home.

I realise recovery can be different for each individual but i wanted to post a positive account that I am now 20 days post elcs and I feel 90% back to normal. The other 10% is because I don't feel comfortable lifting my heavy 2 yr old at the moment, I can lift him in a squat position but I wouldn't be able to lift him into his car seat etc (not a problem though because he climbs into it). I started driving this week as the Doc said it was fine and I checked with my insurance. It feels good to be independent again.
I wanted to post this because after DD1 (forceps) I was still lying on my side to feed her at this stage as I was so sore down below and with DS we had only just left hospital and I was yet to have multiple infections in my wound that made me feel quite unwell for 9wks postnatally.

30ish congratulations and well done of the birth of your DS - 9lb 70z is exactly the same weight as my first VB DS so I know how big that is!! I am so glad you did not have to go through a natural birth for a baby that size.

Thank you for coming back and filling us in on the details I'm finding it really helpful to read all this and hear the different experiences which although not an easy option by any means, do not appear to be as traum atic as the VB's many of us have had so that gives me real comfort.

brightredballoon thanks for that, its interesting to hear things are going well a little further down the line too.

Ealey great birth story - I am having an ELCS tomorrow after a v traumatic shoulder dystocia with my second child, and am nervous about my first ever CS. So your story has really cheered me up - thank you and good luck!

Congratulations 30ish! So glad that you and Oliver are home and well.

Sorry to hear you had to have another drain and that it was painful coming out. I'm glad you're feeling better every day and it's brilliant that Oliver is breastfeeding well.

Thanks so much for letting us know how it all went.

Brightredballoons - thanks for updating us on how your recovery is going too, it sounds like you're healing really well which is great.

Litdog - hello and very best of luck for tomorrow, I hope it all goes really well for you.

I got a letter today from the senior m/w at the hospital informing me of what she's said to the consultant - she's basically said that she supports my decision to have an ELCS. I am really hoping the consultant agrees, I will find out next Wednesday when I'm 35 weeks.

I really can't believe the stupidity of a system that lets a traumatised woman get 8 months into a pregnancy before it will give a definite answer on whether a c-s is going to be possible or not.

Ho-hum, hopefully by next Wednesday I should have a date and can concentrate on getting ready for the new arrival!

Oh, and I've already decided I'm going private (not that we have the money, will have to borrow it) if the consultant won't agree to a c-s so one way or another I will be having one!

Good morning everyone!

Today is the first day that i haven't had any painkillers and i feel really good! I even managed to sleep on my belly last night and it was bliss! Thank you for all your kind words - an elcs really was the best thing for me although to be honest there were times when i did think, "You did ask for this you silly girl!" The alternative however, is so much worse!

Ealey - I knew that the soner I was up and abot the better I would feel and the earlier they would release me! We attempted a walk to the park yesterday but my little fella cried all the way to the end of the street! He was hungry bless him and spent the rest of the day feeding!

withorwithoutyou - if your consultant says no I would ask for another consultant immediately. I can quite understand having private as a backup plan, must make you feel calmer, but there should be no reason to pay thousands for something you have decided on for good medical reasons. Your emotional and mental state are as much a part of your care from the NHS as your physical body.

Glad you are able to cut back the drugs 30ish! I am dreaming of sleeping on my tummy again and getting rid of the pregnancy pillow once and for all! (Though right now I love it for holding my enormous bump up when I'm on my side).

Keep resting up well and get people to take good care of you! Even if you feel up to a marathon I've read that it's best to just presume the inner layers need time to heal up well and not push yourself too hard. That's my plan anyway! After the first few weeks it will be full on caring for two small people for me, so I plan to recover as much as possible before looking capable in any way, shape or form!

Lovethesea - thanks, I will be asking to see another consultant if he says no, but I need to keep telling myself that a VB won't be happening whatever they say.

When I asked the senior m/w what I should do if the consultant says no her exact words were "he won't say no". But obviously she can't speak on his behalf, so there is always that doubt. I think the fact that he wanted me to see her, and she's said she supports my choice is good because surely he must be interested in her opinion or he wouldn't have sent me to her in the first place.

That does sound positive withorwithoutyou - I have also been surprised how many mw's have been supportive of my plan for an elcs this time. I am sure going in with her blessing will be a big help and I cannot see how the consultant can say no to you. You are weighing risks, are clearly well read and thoughtful on it, and cannot be left to just cope with the huge uncertainties of a vb.

At my booking in the midwife said it wasn't my birth that worried her about a second vb, but my recovery that made her think an elcs would be a good idea. Again push them to the longterm view if needed!

Thanks lovethesea, it's definitely the long term picture I'm thinking of.

I think there has been a consensus by all of them that DD's birth has left me very traumatised. I'm sort of wondering what I'm supposed to do now I realise quite how deeply it's affected me. I mean, will it go away if I have an ELCS that goes well? Or will I still keep having flashbacks and going over and over it in my head.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

With regard to your last point withorwithoutyou, I've felt happier and more at peace since my elcs than I have since the birth of my DS. I only realise now just how tense I've been for the last few years, not only over the birth itself but just about looking after my son in general. Although aspects of the CS were a little difficult, it was never traumatic and I can already look back on the day and at photos and feel really happy about it all. I feel so much more relaxed now. Hopefully you'll feel the same, and a load of the old stress and trauma will just wash away.

Great to hear that ealey - I am also hoping for some peace after this birth too. I think I have been really carrying the invisible weight of it, partly because I wasn't getting support to talk it through (which the maternity psychologist is now giving me) and partly because knowing I wanted a second child meant I would have to do it all again.

Easier to move on I think after this second baby arrives safely as I plan on no more pregnancies/births/recoveries (though I am scared of an accidental one which I personally couldn't terminate but I'll cross that bridge after this birth!)

Maybe have a plan withor? If you do not feel the flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms lessening after this next birth, say by 2 or 3 months after, then get an appointment with maternity psychology to get some specific support? I know they deal easily with women in the 6 months post birth, and my maternity physio saw me until 10 months after DD's birth, so it shouldn't be an issue to get support that way. Your GP could refer you perhaps? I have found the person I see a godsend. She is helping me think through the last birth, prepare myself for this one and I plan to see her after this second birth if I can to lay any other ghosts to rest.

Then it's on to the next adventure!

Lots of positivity, shared experiences & information from you guys - feel so glad I found you lot!
I've got 23days till my elcs & I'm looking forward to hearing more about how it's been for others in the meantime.
Withor - although my circumstances are different (1st baby but I'm SEVERELY vb phobic)I have seen several consultants before this pregnancy & when I voiced my fears they said that although they couldn't recommend elcs as it is obviously major surgery they would never force a patient to go through something that would be more detrimental to her mental/physical health than an elcs itself. Hope your consultant supports your mw - would be very surprised if they didn't. Good luck.

Thanks - Ealey that is really great to hear. I'm kind of hoping it just all goes away again, I'm not sure I'd have time to see anyone with two under two!

In a way I wish we'd ruled out having a third, but I know in my heart hearts I don't want to do that just yet. But I guess having had one section should make getting another one easier. Probably no point thinking about that now anyway, as if we did have another it wouldn't be for a few years.

Sorry, meant to write thanks all.

I think the NHS policy is no one can be forced to vbac because of the risks with it so I am sure if you felt like a third you would get another elcs no problem. I'll be counting on that if I end up accidentally pregnant ever again!

My elcs is in 24 days .... am feeling calmer now I have packed my hospital bags (3! One of my gear, one of nappies and baby clothes and one of snacks and drinks - I'm not being stuck with no food again!). Just really hope Bean doesn't try anything dramatic before then!

Having more blood tests done Wednesday to check iron levels and liver function. Nearly there now, nearly there!

Thanks Withor.. I have requested an ELCS since the very beginning but was only granted it LAST WEEK when I was 38 weeks! It has been pretty scary waiting to see what was gonna happen, particularly when I discovered I might be able to go private under medical insurance and then rang our hospital and they said they were 'fully booked' for private ELCSs for the whole of May!

This is my third child, first CS. I have to say it is very odd INDEED knowing that - bar an emergency - I will have my baby tomorrow. Very odd!

Good luck all and I love reading the nice birth stories

x

Good luck for tomorrow litdog! I'll be thinking of you, I'm sure it will all go well. The waiting is the worst part, it's all over so quickly and then you'll just be happy to have your lovely new baby to look after. Look forward to hearing about your new arrival!

Lovethesea, 24 days that is so soon! I need to start thinking about getting stuff for my hospital bag soon. I think I might send DD to the childminder for a couple of hours while I'm on maternity leave so I can get all of that sorted.

I think I'm starting to get SPD, which is a bit of a shock as it's so late on and I never had it last time. I'm supposed to be doing an 8 hour round trip on the train for work next Tuesday which I'm now realising might not be possible given that I can barely walk at the moment. I might need to speak to them about arranging something else.

Litdog, I can believe it took them til 38 weeks to authorise your c-s but I think that's dreadful. You poor thing, all that waiting and worrying. Still it must be absolutely lovely to know that tomorrow is the day.

30ish congratulations on your little boy, great to read another positive elec cs story.

I sam my mw yesterday and she was much more accomodating about an elec cs, she said if I wanted a vb I would need to be induced at 40 wks (due to high bp) and I just flat out said that I didn't want to be induced again, that as far as I could see it made it more likely I would end up with another emer cs, etc. I could see she didn't quite agree with me but she could see I had done my research, anyway, it's not her decision but I will be seeign the obstetrician at the hosp at about 35 wks and, from what mw said I think it will pretty much be my decision to have an elec cs. Phew!

It was funny the way the mw kept saying "Oh, well if you really want to try a vb we could try this or that..." when I think she must realise I DON'T want to try a vb. She does make me feel a bit like I ought to want to try it though.

Withorwithoutyou good luck with your consultant appt, it does seem silly having to wait this long to find out if you can get a cs. The mw being on your side is a good sign I would have thought - they seem generally more anti-cs than drs I think.

Thinking of you today litdog - hope all goes well & look forward to hearing an update from you.

I've only got about 3 weeks left - I can't believe I will actually be a Mum at the end of this - we've tried for over 4 years, have had 3 miscarriages & I have been diagnosed with Factor V Leiden (bloodclotting disorder) which means I need to inject myself daily & Take aspirin every day while I'm pregnant - I just never thought I'd get this far.
Thanks for all your updates/info on elcs - as a first time Mum who's never had any surgery before it is really good to know what I might expect.