Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Hope it's going well litdog! Can't believe they left it so late to plan with you - they wouldn't leave their own annual leave rotas that late!

withor - I've had bits of spd type pain with DD and again with this pregnancy. Not really bad but the only thing that has helped is just not walking unfortunately. I've been driving everywhere and waddling round tescos/playgroups etc but no long hikes with the pram up and down hills as I would normally want to do. Getting my feet up by laying on the bed with the laptop as much as possible has also helped with getting the weight off those muscles and ligaments.

I've been putting DD into a childminder for one day a week for the last 3 weeks and it has really helped. It's just a temporary thing with a friend's minder and DD seems happy to be there (she's 18 months and hasn't been away from me before in childcare) so we are taking it week by week. Thursday should be my day to get more things organised/sleep/mn all day this week.

lovethesea and withor - Ive had spd from 15 weeks this time (only had it near the end with DS) and I am well and truly fed up - so I can sympathise!! I'm getting no sleep with it at the moment as its worse at night (have pelvic girdle pain) so hips hurt and have to keep changing sides which means my pubic bone grates everytime I have to turn over I'm in a very moany mood today! Also been suffering with fainting and fast pulse rate which makes me feel like I'm running a marathon all the time!! I really am a moany cow today! Oh well at least with ELCS I wont have to wait and go over due date by 2 weeks so in effect could cut 3 weeks off end of pregnancy! Every clooud has a silver lining!

Its getting very exciting now, I cant wait to go back to the hospital at 36 weeks and get my CS date booked!

Whatshesaid - thank you, that's what I thought about the m/w, they are generally much more pro-vb. This m/w is the 'matron -lead midwife of hospital services' according to my letter so assume she's fairly senior and likely to be listened to.

It sounds like your m/w is pretty pro VB but does realise that she can't push you into anything. I hope you get it all sorted soon so you can start enjoying your pregnancy.

Onebabyplease - wow you have had a terrible time to get where you are today. I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriages and long journey to get here. I bet you can't wait to hold your baby in your arms. I'm really glad your c-s is arranged and you don't have to worry about a VB.

Lovethesea - I agree about not walking around too much. I was just thinking yesterday how glad I am to have the car. I only learnt to drive when I was pregnant with DD and I'm so glad I did it - this pregnancy would have been hell without a car.

That's good that you're having a day a week with DD at the c/m. My DD goes 15 hours a week at the moment as I work 3 days a week. She's going to officially finish when I go on m/l but the c/m has done a short term contract so we can do occasional days as and when. I think that's going to be really useful when I'm on m/l.

Mookle - sorry to hear you've got SPD, especially from so early on. Don't worry about moaning - this is where I come to moan! Fainting sounds really scary, is there anything they can do about that? I'm guessing not. I'm also really pleased about (hopefully) getting an early finish on the pregnancy - one of the things I thought about people talking about recovery with ELCS is that it means I won't have another 3 weeks of being fat and immobile due to pregnancy!

I am also excited that I know I won't be pregnant past 39 weeks! Last time I went 12 days over so I feel that's 3 weeks less stress on muscles, ligaments, bladder and weight gain! Woo hoo!

Turning at night is horribly painful now - having the pregnancy pillow is great but readjusting it hurts when I turn. Have to move from left to right and back again all night or I seize up. DD woke crying at 0430 last night and I hobbled to get the calpol while kicking DH out of bed to cuddle her til it was ready.

I think I overdid it at playgroup today but I had to keep picking DD up as she was trying to get to the road outside while I was trying to finish a chat with another mum. Now I ache badly. DD's gone down for her nap and I am not moving from this bed! Feet up, water and chocolate in reach, iplayer here I come!

Lovethesea, totally, I was so of my friends who were early and not overdue last time. Hopefully this time that will be me!

Are you still planning on booking a private room after your c-s? I've just phoned and been told you are allowed one after being in recovery as long as your blood pressure is ok, so hopefully I will get one.

Sorry it's so painful to move, I can sympathise with that. I really don't remember being in any pain last time I was pregnant, even right at the end. This time I'm so sore and stiff. As you say, picking up a toddler doesn't help. How old is your DD? I think she's a little bit younger thant mine (21mo) isn't she?

DD is 18 months and thankfully slim by nature so a lightweight compared to her peers! Still I suppose it's culmulative; into car seat, out, carried up steps, carried when walking wrong way/into road, lifted into cot and out, lift onto changemat and out, lift into trolley and out, lift onto play equipment and out and on and on and on and on. ..... Then there is the housework - lift washing basket, lift hoover, crouch weirdly over sink washing up because bump is in my way ... good job I am not houseproud and happy to let things go to very basic at the moment! DH keeps promising to do more to help but then gets distracted by TV/laptop and forgets.

I can't book a private room in the hospital here - it just isn't possible for anyone. They have some single rooms that get used on a first come basis, though I am worried since the mw said they may want me on the ward to be watched. I like clinging on to the HOPE that I could have my own space to sleep even if it doesn't happen. I would love to book one though, sounds wonderful.

I've my hospital tour friday so am hoping that'll prepare me mentally a bit too. I mean I go in with bags, get prepped for elcs then go to theatre, then recovery, then ward/room. So where do the bags go? Do we leave them in the car until afterwards? Do we get to put them in the right place (ward or room) before going off to theatre? Sounds daft but I really want to know what the plan is so I know if I need anything with me while I wait for the elcs to start! [GULP]

I suppose at least I know I have to fast so I can leave the food/drink bag and baby bag in the car for DH to get afterwards.

Lovethesea that's a really good point. I hadn't thought about bags. I was going to say maybe leave them in the car, but then you will need a nappy, vest and babygrow at least to dress the baby quite soon. At least you can ask on your hospital tour.

It's definitely the acumulative effect of picking up toddlers I think. My DD is a bit of a chunk - she's on the 98th centile for height so quite heavy too. She also has an annoying habit of refusing to go in the pushchair as she wants to walk, then demanding to be picked up after ten seconds of walking. I really need to be more firm about her being in the pushchair, I can barely carry her now and don't want her to expect it after c-s!

Hiya, Just to give you a positive experience re breastfeeding post section. I had an elective due to breech 2 yrs ago. I knew i really wanted to b feed so asked for recovery nurse to help me as soon as we came out of theater.
I think this really helped.alsothe next few weeks i used 2 gadgets- a theraline csection belt (boots) this provides a protective cover over the scar so prevents rubbing or weight from falling directly on the scar (also may help with toddler legs!) as well as my "breast friend" feeding pillow (mothercare) It sounds horrid but really did help get dd into the correct position and gave me 2 free hands to to help her into place. It also again prevented any weight from falling the scar. Hope this helps.
I am 22 wks preg now with 2nd bb and really want a 2nd section.
I had a really lovely peaceful beautiful birth and really doid not feel i missed out at all. I just hope Dr lets me go for c section second time.
x

Hi Zozey, thanks for the info, I will look the theraline thing up I think.

Good luck getting our second section although It generally seems there are no problems getting a section after a previous one so you probably wont need luck :-)

I second Zozey's recommendation about the Theraline belt and the Breastfriend cushion. Breastfeeding is going a lot better now, because I made myself be more disciplined about using the cushion. I'm day 9 post-CS now and can hardly even see my scar - amazing!

Great advice, thanks zozey and Ealey.

Tried to bid on a theraline belt on ebay and the computer crashed at the crucial point! Have got enough Boots points to get one anyway though.

Have already got the mybrestfriend pillow which I barely used last time so it will be good to finally get some use out of that.

Sorted out DD's baby clothes last night for the new baby. I can't believe the size of the little vests and babygrows!

Theraline ordered ..... these tips are great to know before the event!

Good appointments today at the hospital. I got a personal tour of the wards and shown where theatre and recovery are (different hospital last time) by a sympathetic woman from parent education. She had a lot of time for my odd questions (Can we take a camera into recovery? Do we leave bags in the car until afterwards? etc) and asked me a lot about my previous birth. She had fitted me in as a special case tour as the next normal tour had no spaces until the day before my elcs!

Then saw a senior mw for the consultant and all the normal checks are fine. She managed to answer lots of my questions so I didn't need to see the consultant myself. The mw also realised I wanted to go over the anaesthetic plan for the elcs and mostly for post-op pain relief. The anaesthetist clinic had been cancelled today so I explained I had to return next friday to see someone.

The midwife then got on the phone and organised a registrar anaesthetist to come down and see me specially. He was excellent. Tons of time for me. Asked me lots about my last delivery, went through the differences with this hospital's spinals and elcs spinal rather than emergency spinal like last time. I explained about the extreme pain I was in last time in labour and post-forceps and how keen I was to avoid trauma resurfacing again. He promised me a duty anaesthetist would be about if I needed more pain relief on the ward.

He went through the options if the spinal failed to work for the elcs (second try and then GA which I would expect anyway by that stage!) and carefully through the rare complications of spinals. He discussed when they remove the catheter and canula, which drugs will be used on the ward and possible side effects of all the drugs (shaking, headache, nausea etc). He stressed that I would feel sensation, tugging, pushing etc but not pain.

It was just so reassuring to know all the facts and not have someone treat me like an ignorant idiot. I am quite aware anyone sticking needles and strong drugs into my spine is taking a risk and I am so glad to know how I might feel in response to some of them. If I start feeling awful in theatre I will know it is in response to the morphine etc and not all going terribly wrong again. This will help me be calm!

I can heartily recommend pushing for appointments to go over details beforehand if anyone else if wondering about it. On the one hand I feel bad as I am taking up time, but I also know my chances of coming calmly through this and needing less time from staff later are much greater if I take what control I can.

I am seeing the maternity psychologist again Tuesday to go over the detailed plan for the elcs and am feeling much more positive now I have information to focus on.

Sounds like a really positive day Lovethesea - so pleased it's put some anxiety to the back of your mind. I've got a consultant appointment on Weds to get my date confirmed - it is the 9th/10th June at the moment.
Been to the shops today to start getting stuff for my hospital bag! I'm quite disorganised, we've just moved house & I'm not due to finish work till 4th June so I'm really hoping he doesn't come early!
Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

lovethesea - really pleased for you getting your tour etc and lots of question answered - sounds really positive.

Ive had a bit of a crap couple of days. Went for routine MW appointment thursday and MW picked up baby's heartbeat appeared to be skipping on sonicaid so was sent immediately to delivery suite at hospital to be monitored as this along with m feeling unwell and faniting again last week were making her think something wrong - cue me having a melt down thinking something wrong with baby. Monitored for 1.5 hrs at hospital and everything fine no irregularity picked up but told to monitor baby's movements carefully as they go off that more than printouts of heart beat etc, told to come back if instincts tell me something not right...but now everything feels not right cause I'm in a panic. This pregnancy has been so different from my DS - no real strong kicks, just bits moving under the surface and fidgety fiddly movement rather than wallops in the ribs like last time so I just dont know whats normal.

Trying to stay calm but just want to fast forward 6 weeks and deliver and everything to be OK.

Hope everyone else ok. Oh and this weather is killing me off too! lol

Mookle - that sounds really scary, I'm so sorry. Do you have an anterior placenta this time do you know? My friend had one in her second pregnancy and said the same about the difference in kicking in both pregnancies.

Getting sent to hospital is awful, so hard not to panic in that situation but I'm glad they didn't find anything irregular.

Lovethesea - it sounds like your tour went really well. I'm really pleased you were so well listened to that the anaesthetist was so good. Not long now for you - looks like you and onebabyplease might be ELCS buddies too.

Onebabyplease - hope you manage to get your hospital bag sorted. I only had one week of maternity leave last time before DD arrived and it was fine. Saved me sitting around fretting!

whithor - its not anterior no. My friend says her pregnancy with her DD was similar to what I describe so maybe its a boy/girl thing - I dunno just terrified now.

I'm having another girl and I've never been booted loads in either pregnancy so def could be a girl thing.

Mookie - my daughter was just a wriggly wiggly, not nearly as kicky as her brother. I was a bit worried about it towards the end as she just seemed to shuffle about, but she's absolutely fine. Just a calm placid little girl. I hope you get some peace of mind, the last weeks are so difficult.

I have been meaning to join this thread since Lovethesea linked me to it last week, but dh has just turned up and taken my 2 dds (I am 33 weeks pg with dc3 and have 2 dds aged 3 and 4) to work with him, because I have felt faint all morning, and think I need to have a lie down before I pass out!

I was just having a quick sandwich and a mumsnet, and saw your post Mookle, and wanted to say this time round I have definitely felt more squirming, than kicking. Dd2 was very erratic in her movements towards the end, and I know how worrying it can be. My MW told me to sit down for 10 minutes with a glass of something icecold and preferably sugary and see if that gets the baby moving.

Hi hazeyjane, glad you found us Hope you get some rest today while the mad wee ones are out being banshees somewhere else (or is that just my DD?)

Mookle, not surprised you are worried. I have also felt wriggles not kicks for ages now. It's more stretching out feelings as if bean is just pushing out a foot, nothing dramatic anymore. My placenta is anterior this time but mostly I have just put it down to not a ton of room to move and a baby who is quite chilled (hopes, hopes, hopes). I am also running about so much after DD I don't think I would notice the movements.

My mw yesterday was again very keen on 10 movements between 9am and 9pm .... I'm going to try and count but it's not easy. The ice cold sugary drink is good, as is laying on my left sometimes, or eating something sweet like ice cream.

Hello Lovethesea, glad to hear it is not just my dds who are screaming banshees (actually one is a sulky whinger, which can be very wearing!). Your hospital visit sounds very positive. I have an appointment to talk to the anaesthetist, and the MW is coming to my house to talk through any concerns about c-sections, but unfortunately they don't do hospital ward tours here, because of fears over swine flu.

To everyone else on the thread, hello, I am pg with my 3rd dc. Dds are 4 and 3. I had a long labour with dd2, with 4 hours of pushing, which ended up with episiotomy, ventouse and 3rd degree tear, repaired in theatre under a spinal. Dd2 was born a year later, induced due to meconium in my waters, much quicker, epidural, elective episiotomy to prevent tearing, but still had 2nd degree tear. In between and this pregnancy, I have suffered a few incidents of incontinence, and it has become apparant that damage done when I had dd1 was not repaired properly. I spoke to a consultant last week, who was at first reluctant to let me have an elcs, because she felt she could guarantee me a birth without any further damage...I now have an elcs booked on the 5th July, and am partly relieved (I was a quivering mess at the thought of giving birth again), and partly terrified (fear of the unknown, worried about recovery with 2 under 5 etc).

I have already picked up some good tips from this thread, and look forward to hearing some good happy elcs storys over the coming weeks!

hazeyjane, glad you have a date. With an elcs agreed you can always change your mind and go for a vb - it's not like anyone can force you into theatre! But if you continue to think it the best longterm option then it's there in their diary safely booked in for you. I imagine it also means if you kick off early they would do an emcs for you? I know that's the deal for me and others on here. Hope it helps you manage the stress of the last few weeks.

As for recovery, I am fearful of being exhausted, in pain and im shock again too - with all the unknowns of what damage will be done and whether things will work again longterm. BUT I am also cheered that

a) this is DC2 so I wont be so shocked becoming a parent for the second time as for the first

b) I'm a lot more prepared mentally and emotionally to NOT have a whale music water birth with lavender candles (wasn't naive last time but just hoped I might have a good birth story, you know what I mean!)

c) DH is far more aware this time of what a mess I could be in and how much I will need his practical help

d) with a date planned we've been able to organise the MIL's to come and stay to help with DD. Not always a totally relaxing solution but necessary and easier to manage the friction when we haven't been hoping for a special bonding time on paternity leave - it's survival and recovery for the first weeks and any nice moments will be great but aren't being relied on

e) I am going to be a lot more pushy this time about help on the ward and postnatally if I need it. Have realised being undemanding didnt work for us last time and might need to be loud to get the care required. Not a happy thought but helps me be determined.

Hi hazeyjane and welcome - I'm really sorry to hear about your previous births. I think a lot of us on here who've had tears and episiotomies are worred about future continence. Makes it quite awkward to explain when people demand to know why you are having a c-section though I find. People are so nosey!

I'm glad you've managed to get your c-s booked and have a date to look forward to.

Hope everyone else is well - I've had a really bad back for a week now, assumed it would get better but it seems to be getting worse. I suppose I should see the Dr but I doubt there's anything they can do. It's given me a real taste of what the recovery will be like with a c-section though. I can't bend to put things in and out of the dishwasher and DH is rubbish at doing it without being nagged so the kitchen is a bombsite at the moment. It was my turn to get up with DD this morning but I couldn't get her out of her cot so had to get DH up to get her. Can't lift her into her booster seat so got her to sit on the sofa to eat breakfast and it's now covered in weetabix!

Bit of a reality check as to how things will be for a few weeks, but it's good in some ways as it's made me think a bit more practically. We've got some money put away which I think we might use to get some help at home for the first few weeks. Possibly get someone to come in and walk the dog for a fortnight and I might try to find a short-term cleaner.

DH is great with kids but not so hot on the tidying front so I think it might be worth us getting help while I'm not much good.

Mind you, if my back doesn't get any better we're going to need someone sooner rather than later!

hello, just wanted to add to this thread.

I finally got my elective section on the 7th may after fighting with my consultants who kept telling me there was no mewdical reason for me to have another section. It didn't matter to them that my dd2was born weighing 9 lb 8 oz and there was e3very possibility that this one would be even heavier. dd2 managed to be brow presenting and emergency section too. My midwifes were also concerned about the state of my mental health too if I was pushed to go for a vbac (long story)

Eventually though they did agree and dd3 was born 5 days early weighing a huge 9lb 12.5 0zs!

She was so big that the surgeons had trouble getting her out as she was in a similar position to dd2! and they had to use forceps on her too and the surgeon said to me you made the right decision because you would have had trouble getting her out naturally so I feel quite smug now.

There is nothing like instinct is there