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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

823 replies

withorwithoutyou · 27/04/2010 14:21

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

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mookle · 10/05/2010 21:12

lovethesea - thats a good idea about having a few mysterious coments ready

withorwithoutyou - DS was 40+6 so this one will be nearly 2 weeks earlier and it is a girl so that might explain some of it.

Why on earth do I care so much what people think??!! Its really silly I know!

Thanks for not laughing at me guys

mookle · 10/05/2010 21:30

comments gah cant type tonight

sophieandbelly · 11/05/2010 08:17

morning ladies, hope all goes well today thinking of u!

i am starting to feel slightly calmer about consultant appointment i swing between fear of them saying no and confidence that i have a good argument for one so couldnt possibly say no! we will c, just want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy without this hanging over my head!!

i noticed on hear that alot of people have had big bubbas and was going to say my dd was only 6.5lb so part of my argument will be i couldnt give birth to a titch without help, midwife said may have a tilted pelvis or something along those lines.

i to get annoyed with people saying y u want elcs no easy option etc, i am a hairdresser and every client seems to have an opnion on this, so i have stopped telling people, some people just wnt b fobed off with complications last time, they want details!!de, i just say dont feel comfortable talking about it!

have alot of u already been excepted for ur c-sect?? any of u had to c 2nd consultant? and do u think ur beta off with a woman or man consultant??

mookle · 11/05/2010 09:44

Hi Sophie - cant answer some of those questions but have heard that even though one consultant might agree to ELCS, when you go back at 36 weeks or whatever they can sometimes start trying to persuade you against it...so I'm prepared for that.

I know what you mean about peoples opinions...just this morning I dropped DS at school and one of the mums was asking how long Ive got now and I said well, 7 weeks til CS so 8 weeks til due date...first thing out of her mouth was "oooo too posh to push?" I could have decked her!! How rude! I nearly said "erm no, I think disturbing the damage from my first VB of a 9lb 7 baby and the 2.5 years of pain after it isnt a wise idea" plus some other really mean thoughts that I better not voice here!!

Ive felt a mixture of angry and upset since

Lovethesea · 11/05/2010 13:41

So sorry mookle - why are people so thoughtless?

I have had the looks, but I also happily witter on to anyone about the details of last time so if they make the mistake of asking why or being skeptical they get a full, gory history of past and ongoing issues. (Obviously only to those who have kids already, don't want to freak out firsttimers if possible! But with enough rude comments I would be provoked )

Sophie - my first male consultant was fine with agreeing an elcs for me before I got pregnant again. He had overseen my long, slow recovery and knew how traumatic I found DD's birth. When the hospitals merged I got moved to a new female consultant who has also agreed no problem. I stated my fears of another vb and the bladder/other damage worsening at my booking in appointment. I asked to meet with the consultant early on when they moved me to her to make sure she was ok with the plan.

I have repeated the plan and the reasons to every HCP involved with me. One midwife wrote it on my notes for me in large latters at about 16 weeks too - ELCS due to forceps related bladder damage from #1. I've not had anyone go down the route of talking me out of it. My current consultant also referred me to maternity psychology when she saw how upset I was still when talking over DD's birth.

I think it's the manic look in my eye when I get going on the topic ....

veryveryveryworried · 11/05/2010 13:54

Have been reading this thread and just wanted to add that I think you are all absolutely right to request ELCS after your experiences. I had nasty third degree tear with dd1 and was insistent that I would demand a c-section for the birth of dd2. Unfortunately I allowed my consultant to persuade me to go for a vaginal delivery after he reassured me everything would be OK, he even said 'if you were my wife I'd recommend a vaginal birth rather than a c-section' and somehow I allowed myself to be persuaded. Needless to say I now wish I'd insisted on a c-section.

Good luck with getting your ELCS.

withorwithoutyou · 11/05/2010 19:12

Hi Sophie, I'm not sure if you're better or worse with a male or a female consultant. Have heard a few stories of stroppy consultants of either sex, ditto the supportive ones. Not much help I know!

Mookle - that woman at school was a nosey, stirring cow. Don't waste a minute of your time thinking about her acting like such a dick. Your obstetric history is between you and your consultant, it's no one else's damn business. I'm for you that she's upset you. Hopefully she is at home now cringeing about what she said.

Veryveryveryworried - I'm sorry to hear of your second expereience. Are you ok?

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Lovethesea · 11/05/2010 19:34

v.v.v.worried so sorry to hear you were talked out of an elcs and now regret it. Are you needing a lot of follow up physio/surgery from another tear?

Please do think about putting your complaints into writing if you think it would help you? I know you may not feel up to it for some time but it might affect hospital policy if enough people report back.

That consultant sounds like he would be facing a divorce if his wife had taken his advice

OneBabyPlease · 11/05/2010 19:55

Why do people who you would never discuss your sex life or anything else so personal with feel the need to comment on what comes out of 'down there'?! It never ceases to amaze me! People are so judgemental. Ignore them Mookle, I have given up justifying myself to people & simply vaguely say 'it's complicated' and if they press it I say I don't want to discuss it with a look on my face that says 'don't ask'.
My consultant is male & very understanding & even when I was freaking out to a registrar a few weeks ago about what would happen if the baby came early (ie - I must have a c-sec whether it's on the day they are expecting me or not!)she said that it's written in my notes all the way through & no one would attempt to over ride my consultant so not to worry. Luckily my low placenta has added to me relaxing slightly about this as at least I do actually need a c-sec now!

mookle · 11/05/2010 20:27

Thanks for the support everyone. It just took me aback this morning. She probably thought she was being funny but its the whole history and the memories that come pouring through you when someone comments like that. I could feel the anger rising in me.

Hope everyone else is OK today anyway

withorwithoutyou · 13/05/2010 20:07

Anyone else wondering how Ealey and 30ish have got on?

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mookle · 13/05/2010 20:38

Me too! I'm guessing they are both still in hospital as yet though. If you are reading via mobile internet - hope it went well ealey and 30ish

sophieandbelly · 14/05/2010 11:35

yea me to wonder if the babies r boys or girls!! this time 2 weeks my consultant appointment will be over yipeeeeeeee! cant wait,time seems to be flying by!!

Lovethesea · 14/05/2010 12:44

I'm thinking of ealey and 30ish lots but I know I didn't have access to get online when I was in for 6 days postnatally so trying not to be too impatient!

I got a call back (finally) from the parentcraft person who organises tours for expectant women. I've been leaving messages for them for weeks. They offered me a tour space at the earliest 9th June ... my elcs is 10th! I explained that was no good, that I needed to see where things would be happenening asap to help me be calm and prepared.

Told them I was in there next friday to see the consultant so I am getting a special tour round then. Had to push for it, and did drop in Maternity Psychology in case that helped her see why I needed to get used to the postnatal ward etc.

It's a new hospital this time but I think I am going to be stuck on a 4 bed ward again - last time the lack of sleep nearly finished me off. I was a gibbering wreck and sobbed all the time I was so tired. If I can at least see the ward I will know how many inches there are around my bed and whether someone is likely to run my catheter bag over with their table this time.

The tour organiser said they now prefer c-section women on the ward so they can watch them closely...... Fine if it's a medical need but I had my curtains closed last time desperately trying to sleep so I doubt they saw much of me then! They were always busy when I needed someone and often left me for nearly an hour before changing the catheter bag/getting more pain relief etc.

withorwithoutyou · 14/05/2010 14:11

Lovethesea - I'm glad you've managed to get an earlier tour, it will be reassuring to know the hospital properly before you go in.

I'm a bit worried about this four bedded ward thing too. Had planned to ask for a private room, which I know you can pay for at my hospital if they are available. I don't know if they exclude c-section patients from going in them though, I'll be fed up if they do.

Sophie - those two weeks will fly by - I'm going back to my consultant in about 2 weeks (26th May) so should be going around the same time as you.

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ealey · 14/05/2010 16:34

Hi all - thanks so much for keeping us in your thoughts. We came home yesterday with our beautiful baby girl (Darcey Rose), and I thought I'd come on here to update you all while I have two minutes to myself. I decided that I'll be totally upfront about all the pros and cons, as that's what I always wanted to know.

We went in early Tuesday, and waited in a single room for 3 hours until it was our turn. The staff were absolutely lovely, and very good at keeping us informed about everything, but I must admit that this was one of the most terrifying parts. I kept saying to hubbie 'let's do a runner'! So I went into theatre at 11 and hubbie went to get scrubbed up while I had the spinal block etc. The atmosphere was very odd, almost like in a garage! A few people prepping things, radio blasting etc. I had taken along a CD, but decided that I quite liked the laid back atmosphere so left things as they were. They put the canula in my hand (again, probably one of the worst bits, but totally bearable), sprayed my back with local anaesthetic, and a very sweet midwife stroked me and talked to me while I hugged a pillow and they put the spinal block in. This bit was fine. They then had me lie down, tilted the bed, and told me to tell them if I felt sick which I did almost immediately. I think they had to give me drugs three times to bring my blood pressure back up, but then I was fine. Once I'd passed the ice test (to check everything was numb) hubbie came and sat with me, and I asked him to tell me a story. It felt like he'd only been talking for a minute, when I felt lots of pressure, tugging and suction. One of the staff pointed above the screen to hubbie who said 'I'd rather not look' , then we heard an almighty wail and the midwife brought the baby around to show hubbie. I heard him exclaim 'it's a girl!' in amazement (we were assuming it would be another boy), then the midwife got him to cut her cord and gave her to him to cuddle next to me. I asked later what her Apgar score was, and was told it was 9 or 10 out of 10, as she apparently started shrieking before she was even lifted out of me!

The three of us sat together like that while they cleaned everything out and stitched me back up. It was a very surreal experience. No pain at all, but it was much more visceral than I expected. I felt like I was being pummelled from the inside out! In retrospect I wonder if they were using a technique that I've read about in which they try to roll the excess wind out of you before stitching you up, because I had no post-op wind pain at all. It didn't seem to take very long, and before I knew it the midwife had opened my robe, put my naked daughter on to me, and I was being wheeled in the CS postnatal ward.

The afternoon, evening and night went in a bit of a haze. The staff on the ward were great, constantly checking me, doing things for the baby and me etc. The thing I found hardest for the next 24 hours was the nausea, which was something I really wasn't expecting. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything, so I was just guzzling lots of water and painkillers which I think aggravated my stomach. I ended up throwing a lot of water back up just before midnight which was rather scary just after a stomach operation, but everything was fine. As I said, all the staff were brilliant, I was so pleased I'd checked into that hospital. They couldn't have been more helpful. Baby Darcey fed constantly all night long, but I was just so happy to have her and be done with it all that I didn't mind, and just dozed and fed her all night.

The next day I was moved to the regular ward. I was still feeling pretty ropey (nausea-wise) until early pm, but then I picked up quite quickly. I had a shower at lunchtime which was very hard, but things did quickly start to get easier afterwards. By that evening I was easily able to get up and look after Darcey myself, and I've been amazed by how much ability I still have in my stomach muscles. Obviously I have to take things easy, but the worries about not being able to move easily have come to nothing. I'd say my movement and ability really isn't any worse than after my VB, and obviously I don't have the toilet/sitting issues etc. So the next morning we came home, and were walking out of the hospital 48 hours after coming in. I had a combination of stitches and staples which should come out in the next few days.

Overall, it's been a MUCH more positive experience than last time. While I wouldn't say that the birth itself was the peaceful idyllic experience described by some, at least it was calm and respectful and non-traumatic. The hardest part has been the nausea and weakness I suffered for the next 24 hours, but I think I was particularly susceptible to the painkillers they were using as noone else on the CS ward was having the same problems that night. One of the best things has been that I've been up to the job of looking after my new baby this time, rather than being wracked by days and nights of pain and exhaustion.

Breastfeeding hasn't been a problem AT ALL. I was feeding her within half an hour of the operation, and I haven't felt any discomfort or pain when it comes to feeding (other than cracked nipples and raging hormones, but they're inevitable!). After the first night, noone has had to pass her to me, it's quite easy to do it all myself.

I hope you got on OK 30ish? I still wouldn't say it's an 'easy' option by any stretch, but mine was certainly a lot easier/happier than my previous experience. I feel very at peace now, and whenever I start feeling a bit hormonal and sorry for myself, I remind myself how lucky I am to have two healthy beautiful children, and to have put pregnancy and childbearing behind me for ever!

Well, a bit of an epic ramble! I think I've covered all the main bits, but feel free to ask any questions.

ealey · 14/05/2010 16:40

Just read your recent posts lovethesea and withorwithoutyou, and wanted to say that before going in I desperately wanted my own room too. I ended up on a 6 bed ward which was half full, but it was actually fine, probably better than a private room. It was constantly staffed by people looking out for our every need, and to be honest I wouldn't have slept anyway what with all the feeding! Because I started from a good well-rested place, I felt completely capable of putting up with a couple of nights of sleep deprivation, and I think I would actually have felt very vulnerable being on my own in a room that first night.

withorwithoutyou · 14/05/2010 16:43

Well done Ealey!! Thanks so much for keeping us updated and very many congratulations on Darcey Rose.

It's great to hear an honest account, sorry to hear about the nausea but I'm glad it got better after a relatively short period.

I'm really pleased to hear breastfeeding has gone so well too.

Hope you are really enjoying being a family of four

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withorwithoutyou · 14/05/2010 16:44

Thanks also for the private room info.

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mookle · 14/05/2010 17:03

ealey thank you so much for coming back to fill us in on the birth. Its really good to get such a full and honest account while its so fresh in your memory.

I'm so happy for you and Darcey is a beautiful name. Well done and hope you are enjoying your new addition.

I hope to be back with my story in a few weeks time - what a geat resource this thread is going to turn into if everyone posts such informative, honest and detailed posts as ealey.

OneBabyPlease · 14/05/2010 18:08

Congratulations Ealey!! And thanks for sharing your experience.

brightredballoon · 14/05/2010 18:54

huge congratulations Ealey, a great well written post too.

WhatSheSaid · 14/05/2010 20:30

Congratulation Ealey, lovely post huge congratulations to you

Lovethesea · 14/05/2010 21:35

Thank you so much ealey for that story. It really, really helps to hear your experience. If I feel sick a lot I will know that it will pass soon. The help you received from staff sounds great and I hope to get similar - it does help to know you were up feeding all night so a single room wouldn't have helped. 48 hours is fast to be home too! Wow.

I'm not expecting a dreamy pleasant happy experience (though happy for that too!) but just seeing this as the process of getting bean safely out to be with us and join our family -and to end childbearing for me too!

Hope the next few weeks find you rested and content. Keep us informed if you can find a moment!

30ish · 16/05/2010 17:38

Hi everyone!

S pleased everything went well for you Ealey!

The difference between an emcs and an elcs is enormous. Everything in theatre was so calm and comfortable! But, like Ealey, by no stretch of the imagination was it an easier option!

We arrived at 8 an were soon ready for theatre. We went in at about 9:15. There was some difficulty with my previous scar being stuck to some of my organs but this just slowed down the process a little. My gorgeous baby boy was born at 10:05am and weighed an enormous 9lbs and 7oz. Noone had metioned that they thought my baby was gong to be large and this came as a hge shock! Unfortunately, I had quite a dramatic blood loss and was fitted with a drain - the one thing I had hoped to avoid. I had a drain after my last CS and it was uncomfortable.

I asked for the cathetar to be removed early evening which meant that I had to go to the bathrrom but also meant that I could look after Oliver too.

Drain was removed on Weds. When I had the drain with my first CS the removal of the drain did not hurt in the slightest, just felt strange. The removal of the drain this time was really painful but was over within a few minutes.

It was a mush more positive birth experience for me this time although there are some aspects of it that are really not nice! I am now on iron tablets because of the bloods loss and had a bruised pubic area because of the forceps used at delivery!

We came home on Thursday and I m feeling better everyday! I am stiff and I need to keep on top of my painrelief but I am so glad I opted for an ELCS - even the midwife who was at the birth commented that she thought it higly unlikely that I would have delivered him naturally even if I had tried because of his size!

Oliver is breast feeding beautifully and only wakes to be fed! Long may this continue! Hope I haven't scared anyone with tmi!