Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Congratulations Kity, that's brilliant news!!

Kity- That's great news. It is such a relief when you get the go ahead for your ELCS.

Thanks!! I actually slept ok last night! And I woke up feeling so much better today. The whole thing was obviously affecting me so much more than I thought.
I feel like I can relax now for the rest of my pregnancy and if I go into labour there is a plan in place and if I don't I have a date to work to!
Phewwwwww
X

Hello all
I just had my debrief with senior midwife from last hospital
She apologised profusely (sp??) but could not answer a lot of my questions as she needed a senior consultant to be present to check what certain policies are and to explain why certain things were done etc ( covering backsides me thinks!)

Out of interest when you were in labour last time round, where any of you verbally informed of the possible dangers to mother/child of instrumental delivery?
was anybody asked to sign a consent form?

As standard was anyone offered follow up advice about potential side effects of the instrumental delivery?

I have been reading the RCOG guidelines on Operative Vaginal delivery and my hospital certainly did not follow a lot of procedures or guidelines.
They are not supposed to attempt vacuum/forceps with a back to back baby as it has such a high rate of failiure especially when fetal weight it >4KG
My baby was back to back and just shy of 4Kg

One positive thing is she told me that I would not have to fight for a C section this time and asked me to have my next baby at the same hospital and that she and a consultant would look after me the whole way through ! Ive lost too much faith now in that hospital

Kity well done on your elcs date im so pleased you can relax now, pregnancy is stressful enough without the added pressures of a previous traumatic birth!

hi gateacre, feeding so typing one handed - apols.

No I was not informed of dangers of instrumental delivery, did not sign a consent form and dd1 was 4.4 kg (though not back to back)

Hi gateacre1
Will you get the opportunity to talk through your notes with the consultant? Even though I ended up going down the ELCS route, I did get a lot of comfort from going over my notes and discussing what had happened?
I dont think I'd realised just how many questions I had until he started reading through them. It did help me put that birth to rest, if you see what I mean!?? But didn't reassure me enough to think "Oh a VBAC is definitely the way forward"

The more I read about peoples experiences, the more I think there really should be a standard policy or procedure in place for those who have had a EMCS first time around or very traumatic deliveries. I also think it would help if hospitals provided a VBAC workshop or support groups that would help women make a decision, rather than us all having to feel like we've got to go and fight with a consultant and get ourselves in such terrible states! All my research was done from books or websites like this, but I would have very happily gone to a group and talked to midwives experienced in VBACS and women who have been through them.

I was very very fortunate that my hospital were so supportive but it sounds like they were very much in the minority.
Gateacre1, how far along are you? have you got an appointment organised with consultant? Sorry if you've already said all this in another post!
K

Hi gateacre. I had a forceps delivery. My baby had been back to back but I'm pretty sure it had turned by that point. I had the mid level Neville Barnes forceps. I was never given any verbal information regarding this. I did have to sign a form when everything went pear-shaped which was mainly for a possible C section but which I think may have covered forceps as well (although by this point my signature was just a smear, and I didn't read anything). Although having said that, they were going to attempt the forceps delivery earlier than that, as it all went very wrong during the manual examination the forceps lady did, and I hadn't been given anything to sign up until that point. I now realise that I was very lucky to avoid one of those last resort drag-the-baby-back-up c sections.

So pleased you got your date Kity!

Hey everyone, quick update...baby decided he didn't like the thought of coming out of the sunroof!

Went for my section prep on Wednesday at 11am, waters broke big style Wednesday 4.30. Had steadily more frequent contractions whilst trying to decide whether to just go for a VBAC (knowing I have very quick births). At 6.30pm I decided I should head for hospital. Arrived at 7pm and Samuel Christopher arrived at 8.16pm .

Good luck all for your sections, if it's any help natural birth was a lot easier/less traumatic second time around x

many many congrats DJ!
A happy ending is all we're all looking for and sounds like you got just that.
Well done

wow congratulations DJ, glad the second time round was easier!

Thank you everyone for your replies I just wanted to get an idea of how things work in different hospitals.

I will be having a second meeting with the consultant in a few weeks so my birth can be explained in more depth and then hopefully I can get a little closure???

One thing that did come out of the experience is that my partner and I have definetely decided to go down the private route. ( private wing in NHS hospital) I am so traumatised still by my last birth and the idea of a fight to get an ELCS - even though they may offer me one!
Walking down the ward of the hospital where it all happened I nearly fainted, it was so hard to hold it together seeing the ward I was induced on and the room I was eventually taken too.

I am going to look into counselling too as I clearly am not 'over' this experience

Hope everyone is healing nicely and that all the new babies are safe and well!

have a great weekend everyone x x

Its just our personal choice and I am guarenteed

Wow congratulations Duejuly Sounds like you had a very good 2nd delivery. If only we could all be guaranteed it, eh!

Had my ELCS and it was fab. Op on Wednesday, home Friday, hospital staff superb, minimal pain and ds3 is lovely Major abdominal surgery is so much easier in every way than traumatic 1st vb delivery - certainly hurts less!

Unlike a lot of you ladies, didn't need to fight for the ELCS, because I tore with ds1, even though I had a successful vb with guaranteed epidural with dc2. My consultant has become extra cautious (having given women colostomy bags) and was all too willing to follow my suggestion for scans to see extent of the damage. Having had some mild bowel incontinence after ds1 was apparently enough to trigger the ELCS 'alarm'. I've read enough to know that post-menopause is when the problems really kick in and my consultant also thinks long term too, fortunately.

Had my appt through for the pelvic floor clinic today - 150 mile round trip - but this time they seem to be really on the ball.

Just want to wish everyone else good fortune in getting the births they want.

ok girls tomorrow is the day i see the consultant, feeling very anxious and nervous,doesnt help that ive not been well (was in hosp with suspected clot on my lung 2 days ago)

so sorry to bore u but thought i would see if my list sounds ok for consultant-

3/5 days post delivery rolloing around in extreme pain (pain killers of no help)

very very painful (worse than labour) when trying to poo for 7-8 mnths after birth, screaming on toilet (very traumatic) found myself worried to leave the house in case i needed a poo when out,

now almost 3 yrs later if i dont go when needed i get huge dragging sensation on stitch area, if i dont go instantly bottom bleeds and is very painful.

walking any distance very difficult for along time after ie shopping going for a ashort walk almost impossible, again made me feel housebound.

after 6-7 weeks stitches re-tore and got infected, made me scared to use the toilet.

slightly incontinent ie- need to wear a pad if i cough or sneeze sometime leak a bit, have to think twice what to wear because of this.

huge effect on relationship- sex extreamly painful for many many months, when physically i may have been healed 8 mnts ish after i then became to scared to, in case i was in extreme pain, caused lots of problems between us.

looking back was prob depressed because of the above.

feel as tho the fear of vb has over shadowed my whole pregnancy, sleepless nights.

i have lots of support for after a c-sect and feel this is the best for me and my family.

sorry i no ive gone on and on and prob some bits have tmi!! but does any of this sound like i will get what i really want fingers crossed for elcs!!

Congratulations duejuly and dinahrod! Lovely to hear some more really positive birth stories.

Sophie - so sorry you've been in hospital, I hope all is well now. Your list sounds really comprehensive and very convincing. Just don't let the consultant dismiss you, and don't leave until you've said everything you feel that needs to be said.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow - good luck xx

Gateacre - I'm glad you've made a choice you feel happy with. I would have gone private if turned down for ELCS on the NHS and I'm sure it will be a really good experience and beneficial for your peace of mind.

Good idea on the counselling too - I#d be interested to hear how it goes.

Hi sophie - your list sounds great but one thing I wouls say is dont say "slightly incontinent" just state "incontinence issues" and you can elaborate if they press you and I would just say "i suffered PN depression exacerbated by my physical condition" rather than saying probably depressed - dont down play your issues, like someone else earlier in the thread said - ramp it up!!

Wishing you lots and lots of luck, your recovery sounds exactly like mine, the pooing thing, unable to walk any distance for motnhs, stitches splitting and abcess on split - everythingAn dif at the end of all that, they are still reluctant (which I seriously doubt they will be) then do as others have said on here - state that having a VB will be against your wishes and ask for that to be recorded in your notes - the will very likely back down from forcing you into a VB then!

Good luck! x

thank u so much for ur comments, saw consultant, didnt even get list out of bag! she was amazing, i started off by saying that after last time iam terrifed of vb and she said say no more!!!

this was the 2nd consultant so 1st had recorded all the details! she still wanted me to talk thro a few things and even changed when i would go in as i wouldnt be out in time for dd birthday which was so lovely

so 29th sept it is!!

Hurrah! well done Sophie. I was the same, thought I would have to go on for hours about issues but my consultant was brill too and very understanding.
Isnt it just such a huge relief?!?
X

Ah fantastic sophie, so very pleased for you. Good luck on the 29th xxxx

So pleased you've got the relief of a guaranteed c-sec AND a date Sophie - you must feel so much better x

Hope everyone else is ok xx

thanks, god doesnt it feel weird to know wen ur having ur baby? got to work thro my list of things to do b4 no 2 arrives!!

will sleep much better tonight!!

Yeay! So pleased for your Sophie, that's fantastic news!

Had my pre-surgery consult today. Risks explained again, consent form filled out and got my antacids.

Cannot wait for Wednesday!!!!

Can I just ask any ladies on here if their midwives have tried to talk them around to a VBAC now they've decided on a ELCS?

I saw mine yesterday and she's spooked me a bit. Baby is very very low down well engaged and she's certain I wont go to my due date. My ELCS date is only 3 days before this date and my DS1 was a week early so Im kind of thinking I may well end up going into labour? Which is fine. BUT I asked her what I do and she said I will be taken in and examined etc and that they will probably try and talk you around to trying a VBAC but if you still don't want to then they can start to put the wheels in motion for a section.

Now she isn't my regular midwife, who knows me quite well and went through first pregnancy with me, so Im hoping she was just making general chat BUT I really really dont want to feel like I have to start justifying my decision again once I get to the hospital?
Anyone went into labour before their ELCS date? Any advice?
Thanskx

Hi Kity. I'm sure you're not going to have to have an argument over it should that happen. A consultant has already dealt with your case and arranged the section, noone has any right to try to talk you out of it at the last minute. Just be firm if there's any of that rubbish! My consultant did mention this, and said that if I went into labour first (my elcs date was 2 days before my due date) then it would be classed as an emcs instead and that I would have to decide if I wanted to proceed, but he made it clear that the decision was mine.