Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Ealey, I read that too, and thought exactly the same thing!

Hazeyjane, I'm so sorry to hear about your recovery and DS' issues. I hope you both start to improve really soon xx

Hazeyjane, so sorry to hear that you and your little one have been having such a difficult recovery. Of course everyone can't expect to bounce back, it is a big deal to go through. I really hope that you're both feeling much better very soon and that the long term benefits outweigh the short term nastiness for you. Hugs!

Hazeyjane - so sorry you had such an awful time and really hope things start to improve soon. I was very apprehensive that I wouldnt have as good a recovery as everyone else seemed to be having as I felt by the law of averages not everyone was going to do so well, Im so sorry things were not positive for you and its good you have posted the other side of the story because like you say there are bound to be other people who will come across this thread who wont have had a great experience and will appreciate knowing they are not alone ad not to push themselves because they dont feel as well as everyone else.

Sorry for rambling on, I really hope you start to feel better soon x

Hazeyjane - Thank you for posting about your recovery. It is so helpful knowing that not everyone is up and about feeling almost normal within a few days, some even within a few hours.

I hope that you start to feel better soon.

Hi girls,
Ive been dipping in and out of this thread for a while as Ive been in no mans land trying to decide between a ELCS and a VBAC.
Anyway, after a LOT of consideration and reading (and yet another tearful trip to the consultant last week) Ive decided a ELCS is what I need to go for. There are just too many variables if I go for a VBAC that Im too terrified of, and as one lady said on here give me physical pain any day over emotional. Ive been a total wreck about it but feel strangely calm now Ive made my mind up. Will see Consultant on Thursday (36 weeks) and tell her.

So my question is, to all those who have already had their ELCS. Can I expect to have a similar sort of recovery? Even though my last was a EMCS after 9hour labour and 2hours of pushing I recovered really really well and was up and about in shower next day, minimum pain relief and managed to breastfeed DS, I had no problems bonding and actually felt totally fine, if not very sore when DH made me laugh, when I sneezed or tried to get off the bed!
I know that no two sections will be the same but Im just hoping that as my body has done it before and recovered well it might do it this time? am I deluded?

Any advice and words of encouragement VERY gratefully received. Its been a very long road to get to this decision

Thanks in advance X

I've killed the thread!!!

Hi and welcome Kity! Sorry noone has replied yet, it must have been a busy weekend for everyone! I had my elcs 10 weeks ago, and it was far better than I could have hoped. I must admit that I wasn't one of those bounding around a few hours after the section (although you will find a few of those if you read back through some of the thread), but I was up and about and looking after my baby just fine 36 hours afterwards, and going home and feeling fine 48 hours after the section. I breastfed immediately and bonded just fine, and we're still going strong. If you did so well after labour and an emcs, then I'm sure you'll find the elcs at least as easy. Probably the best thing about it all is that all the staff are so calm and kind and respectful, which makes a world of difference after a previous traumatic delivery. And your baby arrives when you're still feeling fresh and well rested, and have the energy to deal with him/her. Well done on reaching your decision and arranging your section, I think we all appreciate how difficult it is to reach that point. I hope you can now look forward to the arrival of your little one without the spectre of the birth itself hanging over you.

Having trouble keeping up with the thread at the moment, sorry!

Stephie, not sure if you're still reading but I'm afraid I haven't heard back from my friend yet about the consultant. She may be on holiday. I'll let you know if I hear anything.

Mumtoblaire - did I say congrats on your ELCS date yet? Congratulations if not! That's a couple of days before my birthday, great time to be born

Kity, hello and welcome. As Ealey says, well done on making your decision. It sounds like you recovered really well last time. I can't predict how your recovery will go but I found mine very straightforward. It's 3 weeks tomorrow since my section and I feel absolutely fine. I'm avoiding lifting not because I feel I can't but because I feel I should, if that makes sense. I did lift my 13 kilo into a highchair yesterday without thinking and didn't have any problems. Going to speak to my Dr about driving again this week too.

In terms of words of encouragement, I can only say I am absolutely 100% happy with my decision to have an ELCS and I look back on it as a really happy experience. Obviously there are no guarantees but if you know deep down that ELCS is what you want to do then that should give you some peace of mind.

Thanks so much ladies, thats just what I needed to hear. Im really happy with my decision but just keep having the odd niggle creeping in. Breastfeeding was one of the things I was worried about, that it may be affected because I hadn't laboured ifswim.
Ive had a really good read through the thread now and there are some really
Good to hear that you are all recovering so well and doing fine with your second babies!
Thanks again
X

sorry! son distracted me, supposed to say some really reassuring words X

Hi everyone

14 days to go to my ELCS and I cannot wait.

I am so fed up with this bump. Baby is absolute maniac between 6pm & midnight. Last night I really thought I was going into labour. I have been having very strong BH last few weeks but last night I had to keep getting up and walking around. DH had hands on my bump as usually she stops when he does that but last night bump was shaking/vibrating/contracting and was so painful.

Then when I finally realised it had stopped for at least 30mins DD1 started her bedtime antics. I need the toilet/I am too warm/ Can you fix my covers..Its preparation i suppose for when DD2 come along.

It is so good knowing that I will not be pregnant after 2 weeks times!

Sympathies with you mumtoblaire I have two days until mine and it's driving me mad being pregnant! Seems as though it's still gonna be forever!

One minute I'm really excited, the next I'm totally fed up. Pleased to hear you have a date.

Gotta go, DD2 is off school after being ill and is compiling a shopping list of 'make and do' stuff I apparently have committed to buying her today . Hard to type as well as spelling out 'googly eyes' .

duejuly2010 Good luck for tomorrow Hope everything goes well for you.

Two weeks today and I shouldn't be pregnant anymore! I cannot wait to meet this baby.

Have finally finished packing my bag - only snacks and camera to sort out.

Most of DD1 new school uniform bought and I am in the process of washing and ironing everything so that I don't have to worry after the birth and I can relax and focus on baby and recovering. DD1 will be at MILs so I can totally relax

Good luck for tomorrow duejuly!!

Good luck Duejuly!

good luck those having there elcs soon!!

i have my 2nd consultant appointment monday, and just feeling totally sick about it, just am going to b in a blind panic if she says no i cant have one.

i already saw 1st consultant 9 wks ago and she wrote a letter to me and my gp saying this lady was very tearful etc and has decided she def wants an elcs.

i now have to go back and see her boss, and she will make the final decission.

just feel so panicy if they say no i have no idea how i will cope with two children and being in the level of pain i was in last time,
when i think of having the baby naturally i cant get out of my head the image of myself trying to go to the loo and screaming and crying like last time, and then thinking god cant have my dd c me like that. i prob sound really ott but just want to get monday over with.

any tips for seeing consultant??

Tips?

Make everything sound ten times worse than it was.

Mention urine/feacal/flatulance incontinance (even if it is only mild/happened once.

Sex - If it took ages to get going again then mention it.

My very helpful midwife (whom had two very bad birth experiences and was disgusted by some of the consultant/registrars comments to ladies that had bad birth experiences) said sexual intercourse and incontinane play a big part in their decision.

Be as upset/teary or as strong willed/stubborn as you can but get your point across.
Write down all your fears that vb means to you and take it with you.

I wrote mine all down and was geared up for a fight, registrar asked why I thought ELCS wa best for me i mentioned two things and she said ok. Told midwife to phone and book with hospital there and then. She also marked in my notes for gyno follow up after this birth.

Try not to stress to much. I know though that I didn't really relax until last week when I got go ahead.

thank u for ur post mumtoblaire that has helped, i will start with my list!!

I have to echo what mumtoblaire said. If you've already made your mind up that you need an elcs then really do exaggerate everything. I was far too honest in the mistaken belief that the consultant/s would engage in an evidence-based dialogue with me as a grown adult rather than patronising me as though I was a child afraid of the dark! It's a shame that that's what it takes, but I agree that it's the best approach to getting what you need. Good luck!

Good luck Sophie. I went into my appt with a list of reasons about why I thought ELCS would be the best option.

In the end though I pretty much burst into tears and said please don't force me to do it naturally. I think most obstetricians (and Dr's generally) are pretty risk averse. If you present it to them that the only way you will have a natural delivery is if they force you into it they will probably be none too keen on going down that route.

Good luck and keep us posted.

In fact, further to what withorwithoutyou advises (which I wholeheartedly agree with), if they seem really intent on forcing you down the VB route, then ask them to write in your notes that this is against your wishes. Hopefully it won't come to that, but it might make them think twice if they have make an actual written record of your opposition. I think my consultants (plural because I never saw the same one twice) finally gave in once a couple of written notes had been made regarding how upset I was at the prospect of another VB!

Tips ? All good tips above.
This is how my conversation went with mine
(after failed epidural - 6 times with EMCS of DC1 and VBAC of DC2 ! - and a traumatic labour screaming with pain - and tearing fixed without pain relief - and this baby due to be two pounds heavier - terrified of an episiotomy or instrumental without pain relief):
C. I'm not worried about the size of this baby
Me. You don't have to give birth to it.
C. I'm sure your epidural will work next time.
Me. You can't say that for sure.
C. I will get a consultant to do it. Here I'll write it in your notes.
Me. You still can't say that will happen for sure. And you can't say that it will work.
C. Maybe you can try a water birth.
Me. They already told me they wouldn't let me due to my previous EMCS and even if they did you can never say whether it will be free or not when I go into labour.
C. They have wireless monitoring equipment I think maybe they can use that for the birthing pool.
Me. You told me that last time and I checked and they said it's too expensive and they don't have it.
C. You should never have been repaired so late (6 hours later) and the pain relief - local - should have worked. It'll be different next time. There are a lot of other pain relief methods for tearing. We could try a spinal block.
---so now I can't stop the tears.
Me. If you read in my notes, they did try a spinal block and that also didn't work. I just don't want to be put into that position again. Why should I have to suffer birth without pain relief. I had a far better time recovering from my EMCS under GA than I ever did from having a natural birth.

I brought my husband with me and told him what I wanted and so he asked a few questions and backed me up saying that I'll have plenty of help at home afterwards etc etc.

Then she finally said. Well, don't lose any sleep over it, you can have your c-section if you want.

Such a relief.

Sorry to bore everyone, but I just wanted to illustrate that everything they throw at you, just throw it back in their face and don't back down.

Good Luck !

Hi everyone I havent posted for a while
Congratulations to all the new babies and sorry to hear HazyJane had a difficult time.

Defnotyummymummy, your post is great, I am preparing for this meeting next week!
I have my debrief tomorrow with head midwife from the last hospital and im hoping she can write a letter or something to request ELCS for me?

going to sit down and write my list of questions to ask
and then im going to compile a file of evidence of why I should have a C section

Its ridiculous that we have to jump through so many hoops in order to get the birth we need. How dare consultants be so dismissive of our experiences!
take care everyone!

Hello ladies,
Just wanted to share that I got my ELCS date today! Hurrah! Am so so relieved, feel like a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

The advice on here has been super helpful so just wanted to say thank you. I do feel like I've made the right decision.

I think Im incredibly lucky that our hospital seems to have a policy of letting the mum decide, they don't push you one way or the other just answer your questions and say its your body. I've never once felt like I had to justify my decisions.

The one thing I will say for those who still have their meetings is that I think consultants like you to be well informed, I had done so much research, read so many books that I fully understood what could happen in both scenarios (VBAC vs ELCS) So as others have said, be prepared and if you can manage to get through a meeting without crying your eyes out then you've done better than me!!
Best of luck everyone x