Support thread for those of us who are requesting an ELCS after a previous traumatic delivery

[withorwithoutyou]

Hello everyone.

I have noticed a lot of threads regarding requesting ELCS lately, probably because I am in the process of trying to request one myself!

I just wondered if it might be useful for us to have a support thread where we can talk this all through as I know it can be a challenging process to go through.

Can I please also ask in the nicest possible way that anybody contributing to this thread can respect our desire for ELCS over VB? Thank you!

Anyway, I'll start - I have one DD, born 20 months ago by forceps after failed ventouse. She weighed 9 pounds 11 and I am concerned this one will be heavier! I am 30 weeks and have my first consultants appt tomorrow where I will be requesting an ELCS!

Hey all - sorry for the long absence, just the adjustment to juggling two wee ones who seem to tag team their need for me.

Congrats on the new arrivals and those who have taken on the 'godlike' consultants and managed to communicate their thoughts, fears and choices.

hazeyjane - really sorry to hear how rough your elcs was and hope the recovery is well underway now. How are you and your DS doing?

kity - I was told if I went into labour before my section date (my huge anxiety in the final 2 weeks especially once DS engaged his head) I should go straight in and they would do a section. It would technically be an emcs, but I was told it should happen immediately. Hard not to be worried about it having chosen the elcs route though! I think I dilated really fast for DD so I was terrified I would have a fast tearing birth this time before I could get to theatre. Fortunately DS stayed quiet until the surgeon dislodged him and I hope the same for you!

It's now 7 weeks since my elcs and I am feeling really, really well. I am going to chase up a physio appointment to help me get my pelvic floor exercises as good as possible for longer term health, but I have had no bladder problems. My tummy feels a little bruised around my scar area if I push it but no pain at all and not sore, if that makes sense. I have been given the all clear at my 6 week check and my bloods have come back with iron levels ok again so I can finally ditch the iron tablets too.

DS is a hungry boy eating every 3 hours (2 hours in evening) and finishing bottles of 6 fl oz nearly every time despite being informed that that is more than aptamil think he should need at his age I am still sad I haven't been able to breastfeed for more than a few weeks again, because of the thrush but am feeling ME and much happier out of the intense pain. Given his appetite I also think I wouldn't have left the sofa yet either and DD would have wrecked the house in frustration.

I just uploaded some photos today of DS and DD - including photos of him just born and me in recovery with him. There is a stark contrast to how I feel looking at them (proud and delighted) to how I felt looking at photos of DD's birth (traumatised and upset).

Thanks you two, reassuring to hear! The last thing I want is to have to sit and argue with a midwife about getting my CS. Im now super anxious that Im going to go into labour before that date (like you ealey its only 3 days before my due date and DS1 was a week early) My waters broke in bed last time but no contractions so every time I go to bed now I keep thinking they're going to go! Anyway what will be will be. Just be so happy when he/she is out.

LTS its so lovely to hear how well you're recovering, and your little man is obviously super healthy and doing so well. I bet all the anxiety of the ELCS seems a long and distant memory now? Goes to prove the important thing is getting them here safe and well and not necessarily how they make their entrance into the world! Off to nosey at your pics now! X

kity - my labour with DD started at 4am with contractions every 2-3 minutes - needless to say I found the morning a relief every day before the elcs!

gateacre - I found my sessions with the maternity psych really helpful as I approached the second birth. She came out to visit me last week as a final session. It was a huge relief to be able to talk so calmly of DS's birth, and I feel far calmer now about DD's too. I feel I know why it was so traumatising for me and why it went wrong medically for us both. I am so relieved to not be pregnant anymore and so relieved that I never, ever have to do this again.

My prayers now will be centred on contraception not failing us!

Hi everyone
Lovethesea, so glad you are recovering well!
and Kity glad that they will stil do a section if you go into labour before the elcs date ( I was wondering about this too)

Well I had a nice suprise this week, we were pretty much decided on going down the private route to save stress etc and I had my 16 week appt with NHS
I thought I may as well make a request to see the consultant to ask about ELCS and see what the feedback was like.
Anyway I asked the midwife can I see the consultant to discuss an ELCS
Midwife " we dont discuss ELCS until 36 weeks"
Me " Im not prepared to wait unitl 36 weeks to discuss this can you arrange for her to come and talk to me"

She sent an Ob/gyn in who took my history and wrote it in my notes
then the consultant walked in, read my notes and said I reccommend a C section and we will book you in at 39 weeks

I cant beleive it I didnt even have to get out my list of pros/cons I copied from the RCOG website and my arguments for why I need a elcs.
She wrote it in my notes and booked me an appt at 36 weeks to book in final date and to go through consent etc

So now im all confused about whether to have the section with the nhs or still go privately? OH wants to still meet with the private consultant as a plan B sort of thing

But im just in shock that they agreed, I was expecting them to want to have a look at my bits but she didnt, just asked who was my consultant who did the urodynamics and said 'oh I trained him here at this hospital'

Im still waiting to here about counselling but think it will really help!

fingers crossed for the contraception Lovethesea, im already thinking about mine after this one comes out!!
have a good weekend everyone x x x

G thats great news! Hurrah, another success story.
It wont harm going to meet the private consultant will it but if I were you I really would save your cash! You obviously have a understanding consultant behind you though and thats all that matters.
Counselling still a good idea though, its good to put to bed what happened before and get ready for a new positive experience! Well done you

Thanks LTS, glad Im not the only one expecting things to happen in the same order again (highly unlikely I know) Seriously thought baby was coming the other night, lots of pain, HUGE amount of pressure down below, felt like the baby was just gonna fall out! but must have changed its mind as all calmed down and more comfy again! Phew.
X

Kity's baby - stay put!!!

gateacre - it's great that you have the agreement all in place. I would also save the cash, but I can quite understand wanting to meet the other option and assess properly then. My understanding is that private means the same consultants as NHS? I had also heard that their NHS commitments take priority? (ie if you had booked a specific person to do the elcs but they were then called in for an NHS emergency that would take precedent?)

At least now you can go to the private consult and push them for why you should hand over hard won cash and they have to sell it to you - a far nicer position to be in than feeling you have no option but to pay whatever they charge to get a safe birth for you both.

Hi everyone
yes Im going to meet the private consultant tomorrow and basically find out the pro's and cons and then make the final choice!
had a lovely weekend, I feel so much more relaxed and I havent vomited since thurs (sorry tmi!) maybe its because the pressure is off a little now x x x

thats great news gateacre, u can relax and enjoy ur prgnancy knowing that u r getting what u need and not having to worry that the birth lay in the hands of someone else.

i am feeling quite nervous about my section altho its 100% what i want,
part of me is wanting the baby to stay where it is as iam not sure iam ready for life as mum of 2 just yet!
the other part of me just wants the baby here, i havnt had a great pregnancy, and am aware that i also have surgery to recover from to, so just looking forwrd to feeling bit more normal.

can i ask those of u that r recovering, was it as hard as u imagined? and if u dont mind me asking how does scar look? does it feel very tight?

Hi all, wow, so much has gone on.

Congratulations gateacre that's great news. Very sensible to meet with the private consultant too.

Sophie - I had a rough pregnancy too, not with pregnancy related conditions but I just picked up virus after virus (including swine flu) had loads of colds, a bad back and SPD and was absolutely miserable.

Honestly, even the day after my section I felt better than I did when I was pregnant. I was a bit worried about the recovery, but I found it really straightforward and I had more motivation to get out and about and do thing (going into town by car, gentle walking) from 5 days after my section than I did for the last two months of my pregnancy. Ironic really that everyone warns you about the recovery but the pregnancy for me was actually far harder to cope with!

My scar isn't tight at all, it gives me absolutely no bother and it has been business as usual for me lifting wise since 4 weeks.

thank u for that withorwithoutu

god sounds like u had a hard time, ive had this virus (as the dc calls it!!) and have no energy at all, i as u no am a hairdresser and normally very busy what with work and a 2 yr old.

but feeling like i cant keep up ive cancelled alot of my home clients and marked myself out more gaps in the salon.

iam not as big as my last preg but feeling even walking sort distances hard work, iam very frustrated, altho it has forced me to relax a bit, i guess i was expecting to feel like this after as well if not worse, so its incouraging to hear ur feeling so well.

now we r in aug i can iam finishing work nthis month and my little baby is comming next month!!

if i hear one more story about the ugly c-sec over hang think i will scream!! i no its vaain but iam dreading that. god moan moan moan hahahahahhhahaha

I went into my elcs prepared for a tough recovery because my last birth was so awful, and I had never had surgery before. However, I have been fortunate and have had an excellent healing. It has been far easier than I imagined - BUT my imagination was pretty negative (I do better prepared for the worst) so it might depend on how realistic/optimistic/dreamy you are! I also rested a lot the first 4 weeks post op and got my MIL, DH and then Mum to do all the heavy lifting to make sure I didn't set myself back unwittingly. I know not everyone has that luxury.

My scar is a thin reddish line just above my bikini line, as my tummy has shrunk it has shrunk and 7 weeks post op it now measures 17cm across and is about 2mm wide. My tummy is baggy and the skin a bit crepey but I've fitted into my normal jeans again today It doesn't feel very tight, for the first few weeks it felt hard underneath, a ridge of hard scar tissue - but that has softened and has almost gone now. I can push the scar area very firmly and I feel no soreness or pain at all.

I was flitting about this weekend with the double pram and had to actually remind myself I had had a baby just 7 weeks ago. Very thankful.

My recovery was far easier than expected, and the scar area now feels completely normal apart from some slight numbness after 12 weeks. It's a thin dark red line, and I'm pleased to have no overhang despite still being a couple of stone overweight. No tightness, and I can stretch every which way with no discomfort. Apparently if you have the stitches with the beads either end, it can feel a bit tight and uncomfortable until they come out. I had staples and was fine.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I find it far easier looking after two now than I did looking after a toddler while pregnant!

Hello everyone, I joined up ages ago before I was even pregnant, but now I am (hooray) and had my booking in appointment last week. I was really nervous after the problems I has last time, but the midwife had obviously done her homework and read my notes and letter of complaint and was really nice. She said it was up to me whether I have an ELCS or a VBAC and told me the pros and cons of both (which I was already aware of). I thought I'd have to fight but she wasn't biased one way or another and said she will book me in to see a consultant to discuss and if I want an ELCS I can have one. I'm aware the consultant has a say as well, but hopefully if my midwife is behind me it will make it a lot easier.

My DH is a bit nervous, doesn't want to see me "cut open" again, but I think after he saw the midwife he is more open to it.

It's so good to hear your positive tales of ELCS, make me even more sure I am making the right decision. Thank you everyone!

Oh one question, last time my scar got infected and burst after 3 months and took 5 months to heal. Even this hasn't put me off, but I was wondering if anyone had any good tips on making sure you don't get infections?

That's great mendipgirl, so pleased for you.

Just typing quickly as the DDs are being demanding! Re: scar infection. I had the beginning of an infection on one side of my scar and went to the Dr as soon as I noticed it. It wasn't really a proper infection at that point, just a bit gammy (sorry!) but the Dr swabbed it and gave me anti-bs and it cleared up with no trouble whatseover. I think the key is catching it early if you can (not sure what happened with yours last time, you may well have caught it early and been unlucky).

Oh, and I totally ignored the m/w who told me to just let it get lots of air and it would clear up. I wasn't going to be taking any chances!!

just a quick question b4 i go to work! i went for my anti d injection today, i was told i have another appointment with the consultant this thurs, i said i had only seen her last week, but she wants to c me.

any ideas wot this might b about?? i have had a confimation letter regarding c-sect etc. seems strange that she would want to see me again

Coming in pretty late to this thread (sorry) and just looking for some advice. My DS is 5 mo and we are very keen to have another but I had a very difficult delivery. I have type 1 diabetes and baby was measuring a little large. I had requested ELCS because of an eye problem I had and fear that pushing would lead to rupture of eye vessels and possible blindness. Flatly refused by my OB who was very anti CS and I suspect felt I could not be bothered to push!

Induced for pre-eclampsia at 34 and my son was born with the cord wrapped around his neck twice and knotted tightly. Also had a shoulder dystocia. He had grade 1 hypoxia and his apgar was 0. Thankfully made a very fast recovery and we hope all is now well. Our paed thinks he is doing amazingly and we are conscious he may not even have made it so we feel very lucky. Unfortunately my right eye haemorrhaged post partum and I was temporarily blind in my right eye. Thankfully also now resolved but extremely frightening to have limited sight with a little one.

I am terrified that the same thing would happen again and both DH and I were extremely traumatised by it, not to mention the terrible things our baby went through. What do you think are my chances of an ELCS next time, if I decide I want one? I had a very easy recovery from VB so ELCS worries me but not as much as another traumatic delivery.

vole I am so sorry to read of your experiences. I can't see how they could refuse you an elcs given your son and you had extremely serious damage from a vb and you are understandably traumatised by it (doubly so I would imagine since you warned them and they ignored you). I would go to a different consultant, and you are entitled to change consultant if the first one refuses you an elcs as you are due a second opinion.

Perhaps a letter from whoever deals with your diabetes or who treated your eye post birth? To state the damage was caused by childbirth and is likely to reoccur with another vb?

The emotional and mental stress of planning for another vb when you had such trauma, and are continuing to deal with some uncertainties over your son's health, that is also a valid reason for a planned surgical birth over the unknowns of vb.

Have you complained about your previous consultant? Given you specifically requested your eyesight be protected and he ignored your concerns as groundless? At worst I would hope it would make him pause if another patient made the same request of him. Did he discuss your eyesight with a specialist before saying a vb was best for you? Really angry for you - it wasn't him risking his sight to keep the c-section numbers down. There are plenty of risks of an elcs but I really think you should have been given the choice of which set of risks to take given a vb was obviously going to be risky for you too.

Thanks so much for your helpful response, lovethesea. It is tricky for me to change consultants as there is a high risk consultant who deals with diabetes and so I am not sure how feasible it is to see another one. I had a consultation privately with another consultant at the same hospital who was more sympathetic to my concerns but he could not do a private CS because there is no diabetes support privately. Perhaps he would be able to do the NHS OB care. I may investigate.

I think I can probably get my diabetes team onside because they were very sympathetic to my concerns. My eye specialist although helpful is unlikely to write that letter for me because my OB asked them (bullied them IMO) into writing a letter telling me a CS was just not necessary on the grounds of my eyes. So I think they would deny any risk from a liability perspective.

I didn't complain at the time as I was so traumatised and concerned with getting my little man home and well again. I am fearful of complaining because if I do this again unless she has retired or otherwise fallen off the perch I think she will be my consultant again. I gave a presentation to the midwives at my hospital on diabetes and pregnancy and she didn't even turn up to hear what I had to say (she was speaking after me) but I wished she had because it might have pricked her conscience. In your experience does complaining help or hinder matters given I may have to have an ongoing relationship with her?

I just wish I had been more forceful last time. Even during labour with the decels in his heart, it is mine and my husband's biggest regret that we weren't more insistent.

I can see that would be really tricky if she is the specialist. Are there any other specialists within reasonable travelling distance (another hospital perhaps?) or is it a rare specialism? I'm afraid I really don't know anything about it so forgive any daft questions!

I haven't complained personally so I don't know whether it would improve or worsen care - I can see it might be stressful if she is responsible for your general health and won't disappear once you have had your birth. If it were just a case of getting your elcs agreed for any future births and getting through it I would think it might help to be bullish. I and DH also hugely regret not being more challenging during my first labour when the MW acted unprofessionally - I was in too much pain to speak let alone fight, and DH saw the mw as the expert.

If I complained it would be about that MW, but by the time I saw the psyologist leading up to this second birth a fair amount of time had passed. Until I reviewed it all properly with the psych I couldn't really pin down what had gone so wrong and was too traumatised (and had too much follow up with bladder issues) post DC1 to get my head around a formal complaint.

In short - I can fully understand why someone would want to complain and why they wouldn't! Whatever works best for you which seems complex in your situation.

A huge help to me was seeing my consultant for a review 2 months post DC1 which, albeit brief, did result in a letter from him saying he would agree to an elcs for any future births should I choose it. That calmed me enormously as I battled to get my bladder working again (urge incontinence) and made it possible for us to start ttc #2 when DC was only 10 months old (physio had just signed me off and I wanted my another child and the birth out the way asap so I never had to worry about it again!)

Have you been offered a review of your birth or had one?

Annoyingly, the diabetes is rather complicated so I have to stay with my hospital for the endocrine support. The support from the OB is neither here nor there so I think my best bet is to try to get another consultant at the same hospital. It's not a daft q at all.

I think as a first timer you put your faith in them and only get stronger views through experience. I do understand your regret.

How did you get a post birth review? As I am kind of out of the system now, how do I go about it? I don't really want one with my OB either - do I ask for a MW or another consultant? No one offered me one - is that normal for a birth which goes wrong?

Hi

trying to catch up, Hope everyone is doing well.

I was booked in for my ELCS on 4th August but baby had other ideas.

I had a show at 3pm on Sunday 1st August, so I phoned the hospital to see what I should do. They said to phone them if contractions started and they were about ten minutes apart.

so I carried on as normal, ironing and sewing on name labels on school uniforms, making dinner and generally doing as much as possible because I had a feeling things were going to kick off. Didn't tell anyone so no pressure to run to hospital.

6pm contractions started and were 12mins apart. By 9pm they were much stronger and between 8-12mins apart decided to let DH know what was going on. He went mental, by the way. I decided to go to bed to see if they eased off. They progressed to every 7 mins so I phoned the hospital and they said to come straight in.

Had to phone sister for lift to hospital(DH doesn't drive) and drop DD1 at my mums for the night.

Arrived at hospital at 11.30pm. Contractions now 3-4mins apart. Examined by doctor (this was the worst bit) told I was 3-4cm dilated. She asked if I still wanted to go ahead with section as everything was progressing quickly and nicely. I said yes.

Was prepped and in theatre for 2.30am. Was on a huge high and didn't even feel nervous.

Baby Nina was born at 2.54am on 2nd August. I was home from hospital on 4th August.

6 days post birth and i feel pretty good. Up and about but taking it easy.

Meant to say she was born at 38+4wks

Congratulations on the arrival of baby Nina! I'm amazed you managed to stay so calm, I think I would have freaked out. So pleased to hear that all is well and that the recovery is going well. A reassuring story for those worried about going into labour before their CS date too. Enjoy your baby girl!

Congratulations mumtoblaire!! What a great birth story, ditto what ealey said about being reassuring.

Well done, and welcome to baby Nina!

what a great story congrats xxx