who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

Well done WWW - you have talked me round in just one post! Actually my last labour sounds a lot like what you had this time. And seen as how I didn't get to hospital in time for pethidine/epidural last time chances aren't great this time. I had the stirrups, episiotomy, tons of stitches (in fact one of my initial thoughts on reading your story was only two stitches) etc which would be nice to avoid. I do wonder though if the drip speeding up contractions might have affected this so might have done better at home.

I agree with you on not having DS around for the actual labour and birth but I have two neighbours with young children (one of whom will be in the last month of maternity leave) who have both offered to have DS. And I forgot to add that we have 4 bed detached house with en-suite bathroom so not too far to the loo and plenty of screaming opportunities.

The other thing was (but this is more general than home birth really) that the midwife mentioned at booking-in the possibility of induction on due date if the baby looks big which I'm not too keen on.

Bozza - size wise... even a scan can be pretty misleading one way or the other.... I was talking to a colleague doula today and she had recently attended the birth of a 11lbs in water.... mother was 5'1'
Some small women can deliver whoppers and small larger ones can't... so if you have delivered a big one before you can do it again... certainly your uterus will be more efficient and will help you!

And scans also project to 40 weeks. Which in my case I did not reach, so baby was six and a half rather than over eight pounds (I am only 5' and was wincing at the very thought!)

Having had 2 relatively small ones myself (but their heads are still just as hard) I don't know for sure, but a friend of mine who has had 3 relatively big 'uns claims that "you have more to work with" when they're a certain size.

Cam, that's exactly what my MIL says! She's had babies ranging from 6 to 9 pounds (6lb was the last so not a difficult first birth) and she says there's more to 'get a grip on' with a bigger baby. She also had premmie twins, a very difficult birth, which neither survived and she almost died herself.

My babies have ranged from 8.8lb to 7.1lb and I really didn't notice any difference - they all bl%dy hurt!

I've also not had problems with mine - 9lbs 7oz, 9lbs 4oz and 9lbs 15oz - and nothing worse than a 1st degree tear which is barely noticable, other than a lot of bruising this time but that's because ds was OP. A midwife once said to me that the bigger ones cause less damage because they're more 'rounded'?!

You're all concentrating on the size thing I see. Actually that might be a reason to go for home because if in hospital with history of large baby I might be pushed towards intervention. I was told I was lucky that my hospital doesn't set a time limit on second stage or I might have ended up with ventouse/forceps.

What about the distance to hospital? I know its not horrendous (like we were in the highlands or something) but is it a pro or con? I remember it being awful last time but that was because I was nearly fully dilated when we arrived. And also agony on the way home because so sore (swollen and bruised so stitches couldn't be seen). But if we did need to transfer....

Very informative thread this BTW.

Bozza.... you said : "my hospital doesn't set a time limit on second stage or I might have ended up with ventouse/forceps."..... NO NO NO..... a woman CAN refuse either or both.... most ventouse/forceps deliveries are because the doc/MW sayd "you've been pushing for 1 or 2 hours and you're getting tired, the baby isn't really moving down and your contractions are not as strong anymore so we'd like to do x or y"..... to that MOST women say yes.... but you can say no.... baby will come out in the vast majority of cases!
I thinkm I hold the record on Mumsnet for the longest 2nd stage (6h 1/2) but others have done 4 hours.... and we all had our babies healthily....
I know this is a bit side-tracked from the thread

By the way, I saw a work contact for lunch yesterday. She asked me how the birth had gone. And I found myself talking in this utterly blissed-out way for two minutes - she said it was really lovely to hear.

I am SO glad I had the baby at home.

bozza - re the size - agree that since you've done it once (and with only gas and air!) you can do it again...
My ds1 was 7lb1oz, ds2 9lb 2oz (same partner!) - I am a fairly slight 5 ft 4 and would never have believed I could have delivered a big baby with no tearing - maybe in hospital I wouldn't. i would also caution against putting your faith in ultrasound weight estimates - my 36 week scan predicted a slightly less than average weight baby! (thank goodness- if it had been accurate I might well have chickened out of the home birth).
Distance is a tricky one - I must say I felt reassured to be only 20 mins from hospital, but on the other hand if you are further away, getting there under your own steam for a hospital birth will be much more difficult. If you need a transfer from a home delivery, you will get an ambulance which is the quickest and safest way to get to hospital in advanced labour, imo!!

Thanks everyone it really helps to put my thoughts down on here.

Elliott I think you have the thing about the distance working both ways. With DS we were in the rush hour and I think well at least if we had to transfer in an ambulance we could zoom up the bus lane.

So Pupuce do you think it is possible that I might not really have needed the intervention that I did have ie drip and episiotomy. I did put on my birth plan that I would prefer to tear if possible but then she just said "I'm going to have to cut you" and I said "ok". And with the drip I hardly seemed to be consulted. DS was certainly not in any distress at any point.

Thanks everyone it really helps to put my thoughts down on here.

Elliott I think you have the thing about the distance working both ways. With DS we were in the rush hour and I think well at least if we had to transfer in an ambulance we could zoom up the bus lane.

So Pupuce do you think it is possible that I might not really have needed the intervention that I did have ie drip and episiotomy. I did put on my birth plan that I would prefer to tear if possible but then she just said "I'm going to have to cut you" and I said "ok". And with the drip I hardly seemed to be consulted. DS was certainly not in any distress at any point.

I would definitely question the need for an episiotomy - some MW are far keener/speedier at giving it to you..... interestingly most Independent MW don't ever perform them.... what does that tell you?
As for the drip.... remind me why yopu had it ?

OK, here are the gory details (sorry its so long)....
I was woken in the early hours with a strong BH- type contraction; this was followed by intermittent mildly painful contractions which by 7am were coming around every 15-20mins. I'd had a false alarm starting like this on Sunday, so wasn't convinced this was it. By about 10am I was convinced things were progressing rather than stopping, so I phoned the midwife. The midwife (luckily for me, my own community mw) kept in touch over the next few hours and arrived at the house around lunchtime, by which time I was getting contractions about every 5 mins, but they were quite copable with. We'd set up a little 'nest' in the livign room, with a cheap (expendable!) duvet and lots of pillows piled over a low stool,which I was leaning against during the contractions. The mw examined me and I was already 7cm , to my surprise.

We were all prepared for things to happen quickly so the mw called the back-up just in case. However, this time the first stage progressed in a much more gradually intensifying manner, probably because my waters hadn't broken, and it was to be another 4 hours before I was fully dilated. Because of the gradual progress, I was able to keep much more on top of the pain - mainly just breathing through it and with dh putting lots of pressure on my lower back (it felt quite bruised afterwards!) I was even getting rather impatient and needing to stand up or sit upright on my birth ball in order to keep things moving....

by about 4pm things were getting a little more intense and I started on the gas and air. At some point I decided the stool was too low so piled all the pillows on top of the sofa and knelt leaning against them - that was where I stayed for the rest of labour and delivery. Transition was definitely the hardest part - but at least this time I knew it for what it was - I had several difficult contractions which started very painful and ended with the urge to push, but I could sense things weren't quite ready for pushing. In between contractions I started crying - and remembered the bits in the books that say 'transition may be an emotional time'.... Suddenly I was feeling overwhelming pushing urges - i think I had one or two short pushy contractions and then one enormously long push overwhelmed me - lots of noise at this point - then I could feel myself stretching, with incredible burning pain right down into the soles of my feet. I could hear the mw urging me to blow so I just channelled all my concentration into blowing... This seemed to go on and on forever as the head was being delivered, then finally relief.... There was a longish pause, before the next contraction pushed the baby out - I felt a bit of a stretch as the shoulders came out, but the next minute a slippery screaming bundle was being passed between my legs. I scooped him up and
cuddled him.....he was born at around 5.45, with an official labour length of around 6 hours (but really more like 14 from the very start)

good things about being at home:
-not having to decide when to go to hospital
-not being told what to do by anyone
-everything being cleared away and alone with ds2 within an hour or so (negligible mess)
-continuity of care
-really great mw support as I had wanted - very controlled delivery of the head which resulted in no tears or stitches

possible drawbacks:
-excessively chatty midwives! - fortunately I was able to 'tune out' but dh said he sometimes felt he was hosting a mothers' meeting!
-if I'd known how big ds2 was, I might well not have gone for home birth - I am very glad there was no problem getting him out....

Brilliant story - thanks Elliott
P.S. Midwives and doulas should SHUT UP! You labour best when there isn't too much noise !

Wow! what a lovely story Elliott. Congratulations again!

Thanks for this Elliott - it's very inspiring.

I am considering a HB and am 30 weeks pregnant with number 2. I am moving house on Thursday and I have been quite confident about wanting a HB up until now because it would be in the new house... now that we are nearly there I am starting to get cold feet!

Doesn't help that I am suffering from the vomiting bug (apparently my town is in the grip of an epidemic!) and feeling pretty rubbish.
Plus like you said further down this thread, the thought of childbirth itself is getting scary!

Congratulations!

Great story Elliott - agree with Gem13 that it is inspiring.

Pupuce sorry not to respond before. They put me on the drip because they said my contractions were slowing down but I sort of feel (rightly or wrongly) that they just wanted to get on with things because there was definitely no question of DS being in distress at any point and he was born yelling and red and scored 10.

Agree with you that the epiosotomy statistic is very telling.

Boizza - probably rightly

Hi, just thought I'd resurrect this thread to find out if anybody out there is currently pregnant and thinking about a homebirth? I will be 30 weeks tomorrow and am planning to have a homebirth - not least because ds (my first child) was an unplanned homebirth (we didn't realise how quickly things were progressing and by the time the midwife came out to see me we only had half an hour before the baby was born!).
If there is anyone out there it would be great to share thoughts, worries etc. I haven't read all of the previous posts on the thread yet but plan to.

hello hd, i'm 16wks pregnant and am planning a homebirth.

I'm hoping for a homebirth after two fast and furious hosp births. Only a little pregnant right now, so have just met a nice independent m/w who is happy to look after me and I will make a decision in the next few weeks. Dh is slightly nervous, but supportive in general. I think he just wants to know that everything will be alright.

hi wilbur, i think you're going for s. london independent midwives as well, have i got that right?

Wilbur, Just sneaking into this one as I've had 2 homebirths (one unplanned and one planned) and my DH was also not too comfortable with the idea however once the MW had spoken to us and filled in the check this thingy (we're in south london/surrey boarders) he was much happier as in this area there are alot of factors that can go far and against you to have a homebirth. Although the final descison is for you and your DH, not the MW, if you want one and she doesn't think you're suitable she has to honour your choice. Thats how I understand it anyway.

Hopefully your DH will feel the same after you've spoken to the MW.

It's a lovely feeling knowing that you've done it at home and I'm very proud of myself. she says patting herself on the back