who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

[motherinferior]

My dp was very anti, right up to halfway through my labour!

[Bozza]

Hi hd I am planning on a home birth - I am currently 26 weeks. I have mentioned it to the midwife but not yet had an in-depth discussion. She seemed quite upbeat about it. The only thing that might go against me is that DS was a big baby (9lb 10 oz) so it is quite likely that this one will be big too. But on the other hand I gave birth to him after a 9.25 hour labour (thats from waking up) and with no assistance other than an epiostomy and only gas and air for pain relief (which you can have at home). So if I've done it once...

My DH was initially a bit sceptical but has really come round. Haven't told either family yet...

[secur]

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[Rhubarb]

Hello motherinferior! Thanks for all the help you gave me re my home birth! You really did inspire me!
I decided to go for a home birth with my second. My first was delivered in hospital with an epidural. I don't know why I decided to go with a home birth really, I had a friend who'd had two of hers at home, but I just wanted to be awkward I think! Dh wasn't too keen at all, he thought it would be safer in hospital, that there would be too much mess for him to clean up, and I don't think he really wanted the responsibility either. I did a lot of research into it, read all the books, and went to NCT ante-natal refresher classes which were a Godsend and I highly recommend them, even if you think you know it all!
My midwife was very supportive, although she did say that she wouldn't have a homebirth herself! My consultant wasn't and made appointments to see me to try and talk me out of it (so I was told by the hospital midwifes) but I would cancel the appointments and refused to see him - I'm not having a man tell me what to do!!!

The day after my due date my waters broke at 5am but no contractions. So I set about getting the room ready (our dining room). Dh lit the open fire, I got the aromatherapy burning, we got my "birth tape" out (a selection of my fav. music) and dd went to grannies. My contractions came and went and I started to get really hacked off. So we went to Morrisons and did the weekly shop (it was quite funny standing in Morrisons having contractions - I got quite a few worried stares!). Then I came home and started to bake a cake. I also got on the birthing ball and had a few rocks, that's when things really kicked off and the contractions became the real thing. I was a bit annoyed as I hadn't managed to do any icing for the cake, I just had to dust it with icing sugar which simply wasn't good enough! I got into the bath whilst dh rang the m/w. The contractions were very regular and quite painful, but the breathing really helped and I was managing fine. I got out of the bath when the m/w came and she examined me, I was only 3cm at 5.30pm, I was very disappointed! But within 20 mins of the examination the contractions suddenly got a hell of a lot stronger. I fell out of my chair and managed to drape myself over the birthing ball, I hardly had any time between contractions at this point. Then suddenly I felt the head start to come down and I had the urge to push. The m/w examined me and found I was fully dilated - she phoned the other m/w straight away to ask her to put her foot down! I started pushing and the baby's head came out just as the other m/w came through the door. He was born at 6.30pm!
So a sudden and very painful end, but also very quick. Dh was a star throughout, he made me hot compresses to put over my pubic bone (this helped!) and got me water to drink. Then whilst I was pushing he helped support my weight. There was a lot of mess afterwards as it happens, but the midwives cleared most it up. It was lovely to be able to sit in my own chair having a cup of tea after the birth, then to get in my own bath and into my own bed! Dh was also heard to admit that he found it all much better than the hospital birth. For me it was such a sense of achievement! And I thought I was such a wimp who would be screaming for an epidural!

So I hope people take heart from this!

[WideWebWitch]

Secur, home birth is cheaper than hosp birth, I posted a link somewhere, to Katherine I think. I've had 2 home births and wouldn't change that - good luck to everyone on this thread. Rhubarb, bit impressed with your cake baking!

[hewlettsdaughter]

Hi all, thanks for your replies (and thanks to Rhubarb for sharing your experience). Bossykate - not sure I knew you were pregnant, congrats! wilbur, bozza and secur too.
I think because I ended up having a homebirth last time both dh and I feel we would be more comfortable going for it this time (it's what we know, after all!). The midwives seem quite happy with this decision although we haven't talked about it in any detail. I need to start researching things so that we're more prepared than before!
One thing I'm a bit confused about is exactly what to do with ds. I guess it depends when labour starts (in the day or the night). My mum is going to help us out for a few days when the baby's born - but she has to get here on the train and might not be around if the birth is early. I guess we will be able to call friends to take him - I'm not sure I want him to be around during the birth itself (although I'd like him to be close by so that he can meet the baby very soon afterwards).

[hewlettsdaughter]

I hope all those of you struggling to be 'allowed' to have a homebirth get support.
Can anyone recommend books or videos to share with my ds on homebirth? (he's four and a half). I've seen one recommendation (further down the thread) for "Welcome with love" by Jenny Overend. Anyone else read this?

[secur]

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[mamadadawahwah]

Best advice I can give you re: homebirth is to never let your midwives know you might be wavering on the idea. (I havent time to read the other responses, maybe someone posted this already). Once my midwives got wind, that I was hemming and hawing, they went for the jugular. When i have more time will post more. Just stick to your guns!! so to speak.

[booge]

Hi, I am 27 weeks pregnant and hoping for a home birth. I spoke to one of the community midwives who seemed to think there would be no problem but I don't see my regular midwife again until the 1st March to firm it all up.

I go through up and downs thinking about the birth, I was terrified of going into the hospital and having unnecessary intevention and was very relieved when dh and I made the decision to have a home birth.

Now however I am worrying I won't cope with the pain, the noise will upset the neighbours, will the cats cope and what about the mess. Seems I'll worry whatever way we do it but I think I am still keen to do it at home.

[Pidge]

booge - hullooo - I am 38 weeks pregnant with number 2 and hoping for a homebirth this time round (had dd in hospital, very long labour, posterior baby, epidural, syntocin - but happy healthy mum and babe at the end ).

I waver too - one minute I'm all excited about doing it again, and being more in control in my nice home environment. The next minute I'm terrified about what I'm letting myself in for.

I think the main thing to remember is that it's much easier to switch to a hospital birth from a homebirth at the last minute than vice versa. And if at any point during the labour you decide you need to go into hospital - no-one is going to stop you.

I went to a homebirth meeting recently and almost the most encouraging story I heard was a 2nd timer who tried for a homebirth first time round, had to transfer to hospital becuase the baby got stuck, but who was really positive about the whole experience and is going for it again second time round.

[Pidge]

Oh and on the neighbours front - loads of threads here where people were told by their neighbours that they didn't hear a thing! Our next door neighbour just had a homebirth for her first and we certainly knew about it - but we just turned the radio a bit louder . And your cats will be just fine I'm sure - though you may want to banish them to another room!

[booge]

Hi Pidge,
Yes, I do find reading the threads on here very reassuring. My mother had me at hospital and my brother at home and is very supportive as she much prefered her home birth. Her hospital experience in 1970 sounded awful. The home birth meeting sounds good I'll have to look for something similar in this area, I've been looking for books too.

38 weeks, that is soo close you must be really excited now, I hope you have a really lovely home birth.

[mamadadawahwah]

some tips for a home birth: Write a good birth plan and make sure all of your midwives and your birthing partner (dh,dp etc) get one. Make sure there is a copy on your medical file as well.

Indicate what type of pain relief you want and dont want and make allowances for the unexpected, i.e. having to transfer to hospital. State what kind of intervention, if any, you want or dont want.

When the midwives come to your house for your happy event, ask them to do their paper shuffling away from your birthing room. When i was having my ds, there was paper strewn about and the midwives were constantly shuffling pieces of paper. Very distracting. (No chewing gum either - my midwife was chewing spearmint gum and it made me gag at the smell of it!)

Treat yourself. If you ca, choose a room where the lights can be dimmed, or use candles if possible. You just dont know what kind of ambience you are going to want. Personally, I was moving all round the house and wanted freedom, but you may be different.

Make sure your midwives know how to operate the entonox canisters. Mine didnt!

Dont worry. Even if you had to be transferred to hospital for an "emergency" caesarian, the midwives will call the hospital first and advise you are arriving. There is no such thing as "immediate" surgery. You will be advised by your midwives if you are in any danger at all and will have plenty of time to transfer if need be.

Enjoy every minute of it. It goes so quick. You will be so empowered after your baby is born, knowing that you and you alone did it all! Your body was made for this moment and your baby will thank you forever!

[carol3]

Hi
Had last two at home with the most recent being a water birth would recommend it its fanastic to have two midwife's undivided attention felt alot more in control. Had first in hospital and felt i was being a pain if i asked for anything also they where very busy so felt very out of control !
would say though with both home births lived very close to local hospital i do n,t know if i would be has confident if lived a way away

[booge]

I have seen the community midwives about my home birth plans now and they are really supportive which is a relief. They are setting up a meeting for all the home birth people in the area to meet all the midwives and to help us all prepare which is excellent! 10 weeks to go and begining to get excited.

[Bexybear]

Have a back up plan for if you go overdue... we had a pool and a birth plan but ds was 11 days late (and yes i tried everything bar cod liver oil), it was a bank holiday so they insisted on inducing. I was devasted but went along with it -they gave me prostoglandin gel even though i went into labour when i arrived at the hospital and the birth was hideous...

with hindsite i know that I didnt have to be induced, I could have got a second opionion before letting them give me the gel... and a doula would have made a huge difference as she would have provided the support that was lacking in the hospital...

next time!

good luck everyone

and though we didnt use it for the birth the pool was fantastic for the three weeks leading up.

[sizeofahouse]

Well, didn't know whether to post or not but my home birth wasn't so easy and I suppose this side of the story has to be told as well. Where we live our midwives are really into homebirths, mid-wife led births and little intervention. I was/am too but unfortunately my DS was in posterior throughout and because I think the midwives were so gentle with me it didn't get identified. I tried to turn him for three days at home with tens, then gas and air. Contractions were very sharp because of the turning, although my waters didn't break because his head of course wasn't as far down as it should be and so DS was fine. The problem being after starting Friday night, Monday morning I was exhausted, dilated at last (two days on that one) and trying to push - but no baby. Had to go in, the consultant with a more uncomfortable examination identified he was stuck, in posterior, no way to turn went for a caesarian but because I laboured for so long my uterus tore. But actually somehow it was all okay, my ds (I'd forgotten I was having a baby by that time) was fine, I healed really quickly and I guess remain philosophical about homebirths. I think if you have a good birth first time its great to go for one, my mum popped both my sister and I at home in under five hours each. I think if it gets really long its the time to think about going in, my midwives so wanted for me to have my homebirth but actually everyone I knew who tried for one, got a birthing pool had ended up not quite getting into it so I wasn't too precious about it. I am seven months pregnant now and I'm afraid its going to have to be a section because of the slight weakness of my uterus, I can't bear to take any risks with my darling babybump. Sorry if this is a downer, but the risk for me was going on too long, and the midwife couldn't identify what part of the head she was feeling, sometimes the consultant (always I thought the enemy) isn't. I got good care in hospital and needed the few days to recover and also to get DS latched on, got a lot of help with that. In retrospect I wouldn't do it with a first again, but definitely with a second if first goes well - its just the unknown with the first of how easy birth is going to be. Hohum

[Zelda]

I had a very positive experience of delivering a large first baby (10lbs 14oz) in a Birthing Unit (labouring in the birthpool for most of the time). I am now 28weeks pregnant with No 2 and have long since come to terms with the fact that due to my daughters high birth weight I am outside the criteria for a second delivery at any Birthing unit.I am currently being 'strongly advised' against a home birth due to extra risk of having an even heavier baby second time round. Would love to hear anyone's thoughts and/or experiences??

[kasef]

my reasons for having a home birth is the fact dd1 now 10 wants to be at the birth, the midwife i spoke to was very good about it but she did raise the concern that dd2 now 16 months got her shoulder slightly stuck as she didn't twist when her head was out, couldn't have been that bad because my notes are vague on this. i live about 30 mins from both hospitals in my area and have had both dd1 and 2 at doncaster royal. my first birth was 14 1/2 hours with pethadine and epidural, second birth was a rush i phones mil at about 4.30 am to let her know labour had started (she had gone to see bil in manchester so thought i'd better ring her so she could get back in time, turned out she had decided to come back home rather than stay the night) we had agreed i would try to do the majority of labour at home as we expected to be ages again. i was on phone having what i thought were contractions one ontop of the other, mil said i'm not waiting were going now, i went and woke dh he rushed around for 30 mins getting ready and trying to get dd1 up and ready. all the stuff was ready for em but i could hardly speak was concentrating on my breathing walking up and down and making alot of noise. we finally got into the car but i couldn't sit i had to crouch between the back seat and front seat, luckily mil has a large 4x4 so i had plenty of room. dd1 bless her was worried because of all the noise and kept asking if i was ok (found out afterwards that she thought baby was gonna come shooting out). we got to hospital in about 15-20 mins, mil was tempted to run red lights at this point, got up to delivery suite was examined and was 9 cm dilated only had time for gas and air and it was only under duress from me they gave me pethadine which didn't even get chance to work dd2 was born at 6.50 am. after the birth they said the only reason i actually made it was because my waters hadn't gone.
so to save me having to endure the car ride we have decided that we are going to have a home birth as i didn't really have any pain relief and i managed with the pain, even though i did ask for the pethadine as soon as i got there, gas and air i had about 4 puffs and it gave me a bit of acid stomach so i decided i didn't want it.
i was drinking rasberry leaf tea during 2nd preg and was also using evening primrose oil (not orally) so i am hoping thats why i was so quick, i'll be doing the same thing this time and when i get to 38 wks+ i'll be running up and down the hill to try bring labour on as i have gone a week over with both dd1 and 2 and have been threatened with induction with both.

sorry for this being long.

[rubles]

Zelda,
I have posted this comment on another thread recently so this is a bit of duplication, however, there is a yahoo group called HomebirthUK which is excellent for people like yourself who are considering a homebirth but are coming across barriers. I know that there quite a few ladies on there who proudly have had very large, healthy, babies at home and they would probably have plenty to say on the subject if you posted this query to them.
You'll find them very supportive to your home birth decision if that is what you do make. It would be a shame that you are prevented from having the birth that you want for the wrong reasons.
Good luck in what you decide to do.

[triceratops]

I very nearly had a homebirth last time (only in hospital for an hour and a half ds born after 40 mins). My midwife came in with me and delivered ds so I suppose it was domino care eventually. I had a pretty perfect birth but I would have prefered to stay at home and avoid all that monitoring. I couldn't fault the care, everyone involved was great. I didn't find childbirth painful last time (I didn't need any drugs or water) so I hope for the same again.

[Zelda]

Thanks Rubles I'll take a look at that site this evening

[weesaidie]

Hello

I haven't read this thread (v long!) but I just thought I would let you know my own experience of home birth in case it helps!

I had a great experience but my labour was fairly short and complication free.

My waters broke about 4am but 'established labour' kicked off about 11am. After that the contractions came thick and fast and at 4.20pm I gave birth with the help of a little gas and air! I loved being at home (not a big fan of hospitals) and afterwards I had a bath and then joined my family for some dinner and champagne... fantastic.

Before I went ahead my midwife told me that a lot of home births don't work out as people often need to go to hospital (need drugs, complications, taking too long etc) but that is always an option and not in anyway a failure. Despite the warning my midwives were very supportive and everything went very smoothly.

I don't know if this helps at all but I wanted to put forward the positive view!

Good luck!

[sweetkitty]

Just the thread I was looking for. Have just found out I'm pregnant with number 2 would have loved a homebirth last time but with living in a small flat/boeing to pressure from DP we opted for the hospital. The hospital I gave birth in was crowded and being there I feel ruined a part of the experience of DD being born.

Quick birth story - waters went at 6.30pm, went in at 9pm got examined nothing happening so told to go home, on way home pains started comign thick and fast so went back in at 11pm, was told I was only 1cm not in established labour and I should go home or I could be admitted and DP would have to go home. I was in agony at this point and very very scared as I though this was only the start of it and it hurt like hell I couldnt cope with 12 hours of this, felt the midwives were treating me like a drama queen, anyway was left in a labour room with gas ans air then felt the need to push, on examination I was nearly fully dilated. DD born at 3.22am. Labour timed at 4 hours 20 mins.

Afterwards we were transferred to a ward but I hated it, DP leaving us, me having to leave DD to go to the (communal) toilet when you are bleeding that much is disgusting. All and sundry poking their nose round my curtains, the horrible hospitals beds, a new midwife coming round every 3 hours thrusting my nipple at DD.

The upshot is I want a homebirth (if we have a house by then but thats another story) but of course everyone is totally against it and say I'm crazy just because I had a very straighforward birth last time doens't mean I will this time etc