who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

Lovely story Angelmother, hope you are still on cloud 9! Thanks for sharing yours again Hughsie, I'm not very good at keeping up with all the threads so I'm sure I've missed a lot of the birth stories!
I'm feeling quite enthusiastic now - had a good long chat with the midwife and we are all set to go.

Thanks for that Angelmother, made me cry! Now we've moved I'm on for a home birth although we're going for a hospital tour this evening just in case I end up there.

Great account - Angelmother. It sounds just what we all want for a birth. Fingers crossed it works out like that for me next time!

Welcome to Elycia, what a lovely entrance into the world !

Coming over to join you - I'm due on the 24th of November with baby no.3. My last birth was a home birth (which ended up being unassisted and dd was delivered by myself) and everybody is very eager for me to have this baby in hospital because I had a serious pph after dd1's birth (induction) and went into shock after dd2's. However, I really hope that this time I can avoid the post-partum dramatics as I'll have a midwife who lives nearby and will be there for the third stage. I've been feeling quite ambivalent about the birth but now that my due date is so close and I've thought about it more have decided that I really, really cannot face going into hospital. I'm just not brave enough!

Just wanted to add my perspective on home births in light of my recent experience!!. First up, There is no doubt that for me, it was an infinitely different and better experience than a hospital birth. Even though my 2 previous deliveries were relatively straightforward, DH and I couldn't believe how what in hospital felt by and large like a medical procedure, at home felt like something incredibly natural and special and in particular, an experience very personal to the two of us. But there is a big but.

One of the reasons I opted for a home delivery was my history of rapid labours (No.1 was 2 hrs 20 mins start to finish and no.2 was under an hour). We live only 5 mins from the hospital and I was repeatedly assured that a midwife would be with me in 15 minutes of us contacting the labour ward. Ignoring the mess up we had with our initial phone call, it took 40 minutes between speaking to someone who knew what they were doing and the midwife to arrive. I was also faithfully promised that the midwives would always bring gas & air with them. Obviously by the time the midwife appeared,our baby was born so it didn't matter hugely. But I did have a 2nd degree tear and as she didn't have gas & air with her, I faced the prospect of having stitches without pain relief (I chose not to have stitches). If she had turned up while I was in labour, I would have been furious not to have had gas & air as I really needed it during the first two births. She also didn't have any Vitamin K with her which was another frustrating.

So I guess to sum up, while the actual experience of a home birth was fantastic, if I were to do it again I would be looking for more concrete reassurance on travelling times and I would want the gas & air delivered ahead of time.

bells, thanks for your thoughts. I guess that given the speed of your delivery it wouldn't have been any better if you had been booked for hospital - in fact probably you'd have been scooped up and whisked away by the paramedics!
I'm pretty sure I won't get the gas and air until the midwives bring it along, but its a good point to clarify with them. Did the mw not have local anaesthetic with her? - I think that was mentioned by my mw.

To be honest Bells, I think they were exceptionally unrealistic to say a midwife would be there within 15 minutes. The on call community midwife was probably asleep in bed when you called, and so had to get up, get dressed, grab whatever she needed (none of which takes very long, because you know when you are on-call and are sleeping half ready to jump anyway)and then drive from her home address to where you live. If she lives on the other side of town, then the fact that the hospital is 5 minutes away is irrelevant!

Mind you, I am very surprised that she didn't have gas and air/ Vitamin K with her. Doesn't sound the most organised of midwives!

I'm so glad you found it a generally positive experience anyway.

I've just posted this on the 'tearing' thread and thought perhaps I might get some tips on here too. I tore very badly with my first and was in a lot of pain for months afterwards. I couldn't have sex for 6 months and the GP was talking about surgery to re-stitch the area, I was left with a huge knot of scar tissue. I am obviously worried about tearing again and voiced my fears to my midwife who said that unfortunately none of the community midwifes can do more than a couple of stitches, so that if I did tear again I could end up being transferred to hospital. So what exactly is the point of giving birth at home if I'm going to be transferred to hospital anyway? At the time that I would get the greatest benefit from being at home, i.e. immediately after the birth, I would end up in an ambulance en route to the hospital!

I really really want to avoid this, so how else can I avoid tearing? Obviously it's going to be weak because of the bad tear before, but I want to do everything in my power to make sure that I don't tear that badly again, any tips would be appreciated!

Yeah, you are right about the 15 minutes thing in retrospect. I just took it at face value but the midwife who did get to us lived a good 20 minute drive away so it was never going to happen. I couldn't have gone to hospital anyway as there was no way we could have had anyone come and look after our children at such short notice so I guess the message is that with hindsight, we should have been better prepared for a DIY job.

Rhubarb, just wanted to throw in my experience of transferring afterwards... I transferred to hospital 1.5 hours after dd was born and there is a reasonable chance it will happen again this time. However, it was still great to do the whole birth at home, in my own environment and without anyone there to spoil things for me just because they don't like their job/ had an argument with their partner/ whatever! I also felt the confidence to discharge myself after a few hours - not sure I would have done that if I'd been in hospital for the birth, I would have felt more at their mercy (but then maybe that's just me!).
About the tearing - I really don't know much about it, but I do remember that there is a greatly reduced chance of tearing if you have a water birth. Have a look at Homebirth UK - there is a search box at the bottom of the page, put in 'tearing' and see what comes up.

there's something about previous bad tears here: www.homebirth.org.uk/youcant.htm

Bells - I agree with Oakmaiden - the time and the dis-organisation!
Rhubarab - As for tearing a woman I know who had her 4th baby (first section and the following 2 bad 3rd drgree tears) had a tiny tear for the4th one... 2 things helped:

• water (a bath but better a pool) - will usually make tearing much less likely
• BLOWING and not pushing - sepecially when you have already given birth you don't need to push ! I have more info on that if you'd like.

Elliott: I spent 28 hours in labour at home, and about 15 mins in hospital. Even tho' we had to transfer (DS stuck, OP presentation, no progress after 3.5 hours pushing) I am still glad I spent so long at home, and the obstetrician admitted that had I been in hospital, the birth would have been by Cesearian 'hours ago', instead of a ventouse delivery like a tug'o'war!
I was fine at home: managed on TENS, yoga-style breathing and a few hours in the pool. I felt relaxed, calm and in control, kept moving all round the house and back yard, and felt very un-selfconscious. Even tho' we ended up with every intervention bar C section once we did get to hospital, I still feel in some ways as if i had a home birth.
One of the main benefits of hb is avoiding the post-natal ward, IMO!
Just make sure you know which hospital entrance is open at night, and unlike me, do have a bag packed!

P.S we didn't transfer by ambulance, the MW offered that but thought it would be more traumatic, but my best friend and birth partner had rehearsed the route, and I knelt up in the back seat. Think it would have been better to travel in close convoy with the MWs tho' in case the journey dislodged DS! Would also have avoided embarrassing 15 mins having loud pushing contractions in the street while DP tried to find which entrance was unlocked.....

Blu - your story is very similar to mine.... after 21h at home (OP too) and 3h of psuhing I went to hospital and then tehy let em push for another 3h !!!! So didn't get ventouse but an episiotomy.
I was also told had I been in H I would have had much more intervention - probably a section.... it does make you wonder how many women have un-necessary ceasareans though

Pupuce, any info you have on prevention of tearing would be great - thanks!

Hi ladies, ( and men if there are any? )

I am gonna open a can of worms here I KNOW it...but I am wondering about yoyr views on hbac I have had 3 sections and 3 'normal' deliveries..or as normal as you can get in a large hospital!...And although not pg at the moment we are hoping to try for another in a year or so..and we are REALLY keen on the idea of a homebirth..( I would really like unasissted but DH needs some convincing! )..So what are your thoughts/opinions...

Good and bad are welcomed

thanks for listening

Linda

7 kids no wonder your dh needs convincing

yeah...that means I have 6 kids and want a 7th!..lol....Seriously though..the first 5 are from my previous marriage...they range from 20 to 11..and my youngest i have with Dh..( his only )..he is 20 months..so dh would like another...so he doesnt grow up kind of like the odd one out!..when i said dh needs convincing it wasnt to HAVE a baby...rather the homebirth thing that was a bit 'scarey' in his opinion.

By the way..just in case any of you ARE wondering..we do work and support our children..we CAN afford another or I wouldnt be contemplating it at all!..Sorry to pre empt comments but I have had this thrown at me before...people assuming because I have a large family that I must be uneducated and living on state benefits!..lol!

The more I think about a home birth the more it appeals. Remembering my first labour still scares the hell out of me, in particular the hospital parts. I'm very releaved to find out today that I'll actually have care from the same midwife all the way through (I never saw the same one twice back in Croydon the first time around) and she suggested home birth as one of my options - it's really got me thinking.

In many ways it would be ideal, I would feel more in control, I wouldn't be worried about how ds is, I think dh would become more involved and there would be more comforts and distractions around. The local hospital is only 10 minutes walk away, and an even quicker drive so if I did need to transfer it wouldn't be a big issue.

I do worry though that I won't be able to cope with the pain. I had an epidural last time around, which was great but it really slowed down the labour (and of course meant I couldn't leave the hospital immediately) and the residual numbness lasted several days afterwards which I really disliked. I know I have a really low pain threshhold - has anyone else had a home birth who is a wuss with pain but coped fine?

Also, I worry if the house is a bit too pokey & whether it'll make too much mess! A bit of a silly worry I know as I'm sure babies have been born in a lot more cramped circumstances, but it's something that's nagging in my mind. The midwife is visiting me at home next week so I suppose I can ask her then if she thinks it's suitable!

I know it's really early days yet, but I'm guessing I'd need to book quite early anyway wouldn't I?

angeleyeskernow - GO FOR IT !
And if you want to know more about unassisted, have you read "The Mother" magazine ???? I love it !

Georgina - are you still in Croydon ?

I am bit biaised... i think HB are FAB!
You need less pain relief in a home environment anyway....

If you are at all scared - you could consider talking to a doula... might be your cup of tea. I know 2 in Croydon.

Oh please don't take offence angeleyes, just blearyeyed with no 2 here in awe of anyone coping with more.