who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

Pupuce: no moved to Worcester now - seems to be a Domino system here which I'm very relieved about. Got a big pile of questions to ask the midwife next visit and I'll decide from there whether I want to opt for a doula as well (although I'm also thinking of hypnotherapy - and the money can only be spent once!!) If you have any recommendations for this area though, they'd be most welcome.

Georgina - pardon my ignorant British geography - what's the nearewst BIG town ????

P.S. I am not British !

GeorginaA, Motherinferior describes herself as a complete wuss pain wise and she had her second at home (sure she won't mind me saying that). I am also a wuss and had my first at home and am planning to do the same again. The mess isn't an issue, honestly - I don't even remember any, although I'm sure there was some, as the midwives and my mum cleared it up while I had a bath and then I got back into my own lovely clean bed. If you're near the hospital then you can always change your mind half way through whereas it's harder the other way around. It does bloody hurt, true, but I got through it and second babies are supposedly quicker aren't they? (or is it your 3rd? Can't remember). Anyway, that's what I keep telling myself. I think if you want an epidural then that's a good reason NOT to go for home birth but if you'd like to try without one then I think home is a very good option. I haven't given birth in hospital so I can't compare really but I haven't heard many people say they regretted home birth. There was a thread asking if anyone regretted it IIRC but I don't think it got much response. I can't imagine what it would be like for dp to be sent home for example so I'm really hoping I manage to stay at home this time too. Anyway, I know it's going to really hurt but since i didn't have an epidural last time and don't want one this time I figure I might as well have gas air at home as anywhere else. Also you get 1:1 care at home since the midwife doesn't leave you and there are 2 midwives present for the actual delivery. I think this often doesn't happen in hospital. Anyway, anything else you want to know, do ask and I'll help if I can. Angeleyeskernow (are you Cornish btw? Just wondered from Kernow bit) blimey, I think you're very brave to be considering another! Good luck with persuading your dh!

WWW is right about the mess - that's a false belief ! And the PLEASURE of cuddling in bed with all the family in your OWN house - bliss !
I think WWW remembers correctly there was no one who regretted their home birth. What may happen is that at the end of your labour - as it becomes VERY painful - you may (as we all do!) beg for pain relief but at home or in hospital is the same... if you are close to deliver - you'll be turned down as it is too late ! And once you have done it without pain relief... you'll be so proud.
Your labour is likely to go very quickly. I had told this to Pie.... I think she was surprised how quickly it was (and it wasn't "unusually" fast like Bells labours).

I can't comment on the HB side (although that is what I would like if/when we are expecting again) but I am that 'wuss with pain' and did cope fine without anything that you couldn't have at home - pool and gas and air. It was quick and I was lucky, but in hosptial they did keep offering lots of other things, despite explicit notes on our birthing plan re epidurals (NOT UNLESS I'M DYING) etc. I'm sure it would be nicer at home - good luck!

Having had a pain relief free water birth in a midwife staffed hospital and being able to have my dh stay the night (on the floor admittedly) I would feel confident in having a home birth if there is a next time. However it isn't such a leap here as my midwife stayed with me for the whole 6 hours I was in hospital in labour (except she went for a pee once)and then the second midwife came in about 10 minutes before ds arrived. If it was a choice between a "normal" hospital delivery and a home birth - I would def. choose the home option.

Oh yes, I am a wuss. An utter, utter, wuss - my first posting on mumsnet, in fact, was about my wussiness with pain and whether gas and air might be worth it.

And I did it. I'd spend the money on a pool if I were you. I really, really, really am glad I had dd2 at home - it was the most amazing moment of my life and all my usual exhausted cynicism about motherhood dissolves at the memory.

Sorry pupuce - Birmingham would be the biggest (but I'm guessing it's about 45 mins away? And that depends on the quality of the M6!).

If anyone knows of any hypnotherapists trained for hypnobirth around here too that would be really helpful - still trying to find all the options really!

Very glad to hear that I'm not the only wuss! I had an epidural last time, and although it was bliss while it was on (foolishly allowed it to wear off so I could push - the transition was vile!) I really didn't like the after effects or how much it slowed down the birth (plus you're then restricted to the bed).

I really like the idea of not having to fret about visiting hours or having mum/mil here in time to look after ds (I know it's still advantageous for them to be here asap for child diversion/babysitting if I had to transfer - but it's nice to know if arrangements do go pearshaped then it won't be too traumatic for ds).

This is my 2nd. First labour was 12 hours long from start of serious contraction (mild contractions started 6 hours before that) to birth. Epidural, episiotomy, ventouse... bled a lot afterwards - but I'm guessing that's "normal" after a ventouse and wouldn't put me into a more "at risk" category? I remember afterwards I was so exhausted I didn't even want to see the baby - which I'm sure put me at a disadvantage with breastfeeding.

Since the midwife suggested home birth to me, it's amazing how much more positive I'm feeling about having no. 2 - almost as if I can "cancel out" all the negatives of the first birth with making this one better - am I being odd?!

Pethidine is available at a homebirth too isn't it? But doesn't that have quite severe side effects to me and the baby? Sorry if I'm asking really obvious questions.

I'm not sure about the pool thing. Rationally, I realise that it eases a lot of the pain, but for some reason it just makes me feel squeemish. Plus I have no idea where I'd have enough floor space to put one!!! Mind you... it's in May... think the neighbours would complain if we put it in the garden

Can anyone recommend some good basic books to let me know what I'd be letting myself in for and what I should think about? I never really did this first time around, as I always assumed I'd want the epidural hence straight to hospital...

Georgina, there's a lot of info on this homebirth site .

Thank you Dannie - I'd had a quick scan of that when I saw it further down the thread, then completely forgot all about it!!! Am having a proper read now.

Oh, that's something else I was going to ask. A couple of people have said I can always change my mind half way through, but would I really be able to in practise? If I book the home birth on agreement that I may change my mind on the day won't that piss off the midwife a bit? Up to what point can you change your mind and will the midwife tell you when you're getting to the point of no return?!

I guess if you're comfortable at home, you'll want to stay there, and if it's not going well, you might need to go to hospital anyway. From my conversations with my own MW, I think she'd prefer to transfer a mother who's having trouble, wants an epidural or whatever.

I booked originally on that basis, Georgina - just wanted a bit more midwife attention in labour - it was only about 2 months before the birth that I seriously considered staying at home. One of my neighbours transferred halfway through the pushing stage, apparently!

My first birth was like yours but even longer and nastier...why are you squeamish about a pool? They honestly don't take up that much room and there's a disposable liner which means it's just thrown away with any blood, shit, etc in it (and remember you wouldn't be clearing up)

I have no idea why I'm squeemish! I never really enjoyed swimming that much, perhaps that's it? But then I happily took ds to swimming lessons so that can't be it

I remember coming up to my first birth we were told the hospital had a birthing pool but no midwives were trained to use it so we could only use it pre-pushing. I've (of course) moved since then, but maybe there's a slight fear there of more things to go wrong and what if the midwife isn't trained properly or has done very few water births before...

I think I'll look more into it, including asking the midwife how many home births/water births she and the rest of the community midwives have attended and decide from there. I'll probably be like you were with 2 months to go - suddenly be a pool/home birth convert

GeorginaA

Dh gave me an article a couple of montha go in the Birmingham Evening Mail about hypnobithing in the West Midlands, apparently the woman who does it is a friend of a friend of a work colleague of his. I have nagged and nagged him to get her contact details from his colleague, will try nagging again tonight

Georgina - I would be squeamish about a pool too. It's not the clearing up, it's the idea of the blood etc floating around you. I'm sure they're wonderful, but not for me!

Just to reinforce that the mess really isn't a problem. We had plastic sheeting on our spare bed covered with a dust sheet and the midwife cleared it all away. The only thing I wish we had done is have a load of cheap/old towels to hand that we could have thrown away afterwards as washing them was a pain. It's always hard to compare labours but I had gas & air the first 2 times and nothing at all third time around. I coped with the pain far far better although that may of course have been because I had other things on my mind (i.e the absence of a midwife and a headless chicken for a DH).

Despite it all, I loved my homebirth and very much wish I had done it with no.2.

well, I had my second home birth yesterday - it went really well and I am so glad that it was all done at home. There's nothing like being in your own environment and getting into your own bed after the birth. Ds rotated to OP position (posterior) just before the second stage which was not terribly forthcoming of him but with a few position changes and much determination I eventually got him out - all 9lbs 15oz - with only a small 1st degree tear and bruising. Thanks to a cheap shower curtain the bed remains untarnished.
I posted about it on birth announcement in more detail.

2under2 - what a whopper - many many congrats. Wel done that woman.

I would love a home birth for no3, but my 1st stages are soooooo long. Days for the 1st and 14 hours for the 2nd - I don't think I could cope at home.

Just wanted to say well done on this thread too 3underwhatevertheyare! I hope to be contributing to this thread very very soon...

wwwwwwaiting!

wwwwon't be long now, surely?

wwwwell done 2under2! All these birth stories are really positive so far! Many, many congrats to you!

Have recently been contemplating a home birth. Am currently 16 weeks and will be seeing midwife at 21 weeks so some time to think about it before I mention it to her.

Pros: miles to hospital through town centre taking about 45 mins; no parking when you get there; home nice and comfy with DH to wait on me; only had tens and gas and air last time which I could have at home; would have met community midwife several times whereas hospital one would be a stranger; my last labour was 9 hours and with DH could be working few hours away, all family at least an hour away and DS to consider might be better since next labour possibly quicker.

Cons: had syntocin (sp) drip last time; if need to transfer to hospital it is 45 mins away etc; DS was 9 lb 10 oz so what happens if the next one is bigger; the mess - now I know you say the midwife clears all that away but what happens when she goes and a couple of hours later I get up and flood all over the floor (thats what I did in hospital); DH not all that keen.

TBH I've been a bit put off by WWW's birth story. I know she blames the size of her DD on her DP but my DH is only 5' 10" and small framed and I'm 5'4 and normally a size 8/10 but we still managed to produce DS with his huge head (aged 2 but in aged 6 hats) and shoulders so whats to say the next one won't be bigger?

Bozza, I'm really sorry my story put you off. OK, here's what I feel about it: immediately afterwards I wished I'd been in hospital or had a c section BUT, and it's a BIG but, had I been I swear I'd have 10 doctors around me, my legs in stirrups, maybe forceps and almost certainly an episiotomy. The midwife agreed when I asked her afterwards if she reckons this is what would have happened. Instead I had 2 midwives hoiking my legs over their shoulders and behind my ears giving me instructions loud and clear and a natural tear. I trusted them completely and believed that it would be OK if I listened to them and let them get on with their jobs. They were very experienced. Now, yes, it bloody well hurt but I wasn't ever going to have an epidural or pethidine so I'm not sure there would have been much point in being in hospital tbh. Once I wanted it it would have been too late wherever I was, definitely. So the pros of home for me were:

• Midwives I trusted were allowed to get on with practicing their craft.
• I wouldn't have had drugs anyway so didn't need to be in hospital
• There was no spiral of intervention
• Once they'd all gone at gone midnight it was just me, dp and our new babe and it was lovely.
• I had a pool downstairs and gave birth on our bed in the end. Went there when I felt in need of safety and comfort towards the end.
• The midwives cleared all the mess. One followed me down our landing to the loo (we have pale cream carpet throughout the house - not my choice, it's rented) holding a dark towel between my legs prior to my getting into the bath and getting a pad
• I could make phone calls, receive visitors afterwards (this is a definite con too though I was happy to see my stepsister when babe was 30 minutes old)
• I had my own food and bed and bath etc etc (Cambozola, biscuits and chocolate in bed at 1am)
• Dp wasn't sent anywhere - I think he'd have been sent home from hospital wouldn't he?

But I'm very, very glad my ds wasn't there since I did scream the house down and there's no way he'd have slept through it. If you want drugs, go into hospital and be sure you're going to get there in time to get them! If you don't then I'd consider home. There isn't going to be a next time for me but I'm not sure I wouldn't do the same again even if there was. After last time I said I'd have an epidural next time and yet when it came to it I didn't. I think I was unlucky in having a bigger (Much!) baby this time but also it was a different partner - is yours the same partner? I also had NO idea this baby was so big beforehand so maybe you could do a bit of trying to find out about that before you make your decision? There's another big difference though - you've already delivered a big baby and I hadn't as ds was only 7lb. So I'm sure you'll find it easier than I did. The midwives did say they're not sure I'd have managed it had it been my first baby either. You are in a better position I'd say given the above. Do contact me via contact another talker if you want to know more or to discuss off board. HTH.

Oh and another thing - I am recovering well, not bleeding much and it doesn't hurt to wee. I am walking gingerly but I can lift my baby and come downstairs (or I wouldn't be posting here!) and I don't think that would necessarily have been the case with a section.