who's contemplating a home birth - want to discuss it?

[elliott]

Hi there
Noticed that quite a few of us who are now pregnant are planning or thinking about home birth - katherine, motherinferior, princesspeahead, www etc. I'm just 17 weeks now and very undecided about what to do, so would welcome hearing other's thoughts and views. What has motivated your choice? What are your greatest worries/fears/hopes? What is the deal in your area re midwife care - do you feel confident in your midwives? Lots of other thoughts but that should do for now...

[Katherine]

Ps just a thought but for those of you worrying about paying for a doula or birth pool - what about asking relatives to chip in rather than buying pressies as you've probably got most gear from last time anyway! I think it would be lovely to contribute to the babies arrival in the world in some way rather than buy a baby grow which will soon be outgrown. Alternatively I know our local MW unit has a birth pool now and it was totally different to being in hospital. Although its not the same as a homebirth if you really want a water birth perhaps there is a MW unit in your area instead....... although personally I would rather stay at home and wallow in the bath for a bit instead!

[elliott]

Katherine, lovely story about your dd's arrival, that's the kind of thing that really makes me want to go for a home birth. Though if we had a midwife run unit I'd be happy with that - my local hospital is a teaching one and normal deliveries are definitely in the minority, so the assumptions are very skewed the minute you walk in the door.
With hindsight I could have had ds at home with no problem. I hated dh having to leave me overnight and have to say the horrible postnatal midwife really ruined my first day - which I spent battling with her to let me go home. It even ruined dh's proud presentation of my present which he brought in to hospital in the morning - all I could think of was how to get home - I think he was more than a little hurt that I didn't receive his gesture with more delight (small thing I know but still makes me feel sad).

[StripyMouse]

great thread elliott - I am 19 weeks and definitely considering/hoping for a home birth (this is no.2) after a horrible hospital experience first time round that left me with a phobia of all medical staff and buildings! Fortunately, my midwife is really up for it and even hinted that she prefers women to at least aim for home births if there are no obvious medical reasons to suggest extra caution. It was music to my ears as I had been dreading even meeting the midwife and handing all sense of control of my pregnancy and labour over to this "stranger" - instead I still feel in control and much happier knowing I have some real professional support.
One of my main concerns is the noise! We have a smallish 3 bed house that is terraced and we can often hear our neighbours - don?t really want them to experience labour right alongside me IYKWIM! My other concern is what to do with my dd (2yrs old) - hoping that the night time home birth phenomena happens...
I would love to be able to hire a birth pool as water did ease pain last time - but like several others of you I am horrified at the cost - even thinking about going into the business as it seems to be a lucrative market!! I did spot a website when i searched on google "sol" something and they sold large deep paddling pools that they recommended for birth as they were strong and deep - just under 30 dollars and about 15 dollars postage I think...must go back and check the name of the site out. Certainly a lot cheaper than British hire options.
LAst time gas and air was really great until the bossy mw insisted on breaking my waters and I ended up feeling pushed into a corner and having pethidene against my better judgement - turned into a nightmare and hated every minute of it from then on - drowsy, sick out of control feeling - yuck.
My main hopes are that it will enable me to feel more relaxed and in control. I also hope that it will feel more private and personal - still shudder and the lack of privacy and dignity that a hospital birth entails - as a quiet and very private person I felt really violated by the whole experience last time.
Great to read other views on the subject and to see that I am not just the only one thinking it is a good idea - most of my family have reacted with quiet horror, hinting that they think i am irresponsible by choosing not to have instant hands on care in an emergency - although too polite to actually say it, it is still unsettling.

[StripyMouse]

Just found that cheap birthing pool website \linkhttp:/www.birthwithsol.com{} - hope that the link works as it is my first attempt at putting one in. If not it is birthwithsol.com and i would love to see what anyone else thinks of their products as I am really undecided. It is so much cheaper than standard hire ones that it makes me wonder if it is up to the job.

[Ruth21]

Just been browsing round the web looking at stuff on home birth and thought I'd see if there was anything on mumsnet, and lo and behold ... Thanks Elliott.

I'm 15 weeks so have a long way to go but I think I would like a home birth--for many of the same reasons others have listed.

My biggest problem at the moment is finding a midwife to agree to do it. The midwives at my GP's surgery have said they can't. There are only 3 of them and they can't get cover from anyone else, because the practice has opted out of the local midwifery service and runs midwifery itself--supposedly to provide women with a better service! If anyone wants a home birth, all the midwives have to be on call from 37 weeks on, and none can book holiday from 37-42 weeks. My due date is Dec 12 so my having a home birth would mean no holiday for them in the run-up to Christmas. I can understand their reluctance given this situation, but I am not impressed with the practice which has effectively made it impossible for women to have home births during times when midwives are likely to want holidays. Anyway, my choice seems to be to transfer to another GP practice or to give up on the home birth. Even if I could persuade the midwives at this practice to take me on as a home birth, I wouldn't want to now as I wouldn't feel comfortable with them caring for me when I knew they were pissed off that I'd made them do it. So this week I'm trying to talk to midwives at other practices.

What's most annoying about this situation is that I felt that when I discussed home birth with the community midwife, the medical advice she gave was really mixed up with her work-related reluctance for me to have one. This is my first pregnancy (though I was there when dp had dd). The midwife made a big deal about how it's not advisable to have your first at home because you don't know how you'll cope, it will be long, etc etc. But this was clearly mixed in with her own desire not to be constantly on call for 5 weeks, so it was very hard to know how to evaluate her advice. I have spoken to a midwife at the hospital at my booking in appointment, and she was much more positive, and clearly disapproved of the practice's policy. Anyone have thoughts(or experience or evidence) about having first babies at home?

[StripyMouse]

bugger that didn?t work - bare with me, i need to learn this skill - one last chance (will preview this time)
have a look at this - haha possibly worked that time.

[StripyMouse]

oops - can?t spell when I get irritated when my typing/computer skills lets me down, sorry.

[ANGELMOTHER]

Fantastic thread........am now 27 wks (I think) and am seriously "Hoping" for a home birth, am starting ante-natal classes tonight so am a bit rushed now but will definitely read all posts and catch up later.
Might add have been worrying that I'm fooling myself being able to manage at home as some others have said, so maybe this thread is the way to bolster our confidence....

[Katherine]

Notice that lots of people on here talk about "fooling themselves into thinking they can cope at home". Just wanted to say that my first birth was awful. Took me totally by surprise as so painful and intense. If I'd known it would only last 3 hours I would have felt I could cope but I just panicked. However I did cope - just as those of you who've done it before did. You don't actually have a choice. It happens whatever you think and although you can call on pain relief a lot of the time it doesn't help (although I'm sure lots of the time it does too). When my labour started with DD (the homebirth) I felt very reassured that it was following the same pattern. It meant it would be quick but also meant it would be very painful. However I didn't panic this time because I knew it would have an end and at the end I would get my baby. Whether it was this or because I was at home and not rushing around I can't say but either way I was totally relaxed this time and it didn't ever really get that painful. I started on the gas and air just before the MW came - and then I was 8cm. It is far more relaxing at home and as a result won't seem so bad. Of course this is only my expereince and my labours are quick which is a blessing but don't be hard on yourself. Feeling in control is a major part of it. You will get through. You can have pethidine at home providing you get a perscription first so if you are worried pre-arrange with with you MW and GP. But whether at home or hospital it will hurt (no point in kidding about that) but you will get through it, wherever you are

[WideWebWitch]

Ruth21, that's awful about your midwives and the service being provided by your practice. What do your local health trust say? IIRC they're obliged to provide you with a midwife if you want a home birth, although ISWYM about the m/ws at your practice and not wanting to force them into it. Their advice has been really biased because of their holidays which is outrageous I think. It is every womans legal right to have a home birth if she wants one and they seem to be anti it for all the wrong (and selfish) reasons. Anyway, you asked if any of us had first babies at home - I did and this one will be my second. In my situation last time the consultant was against home birth but the midwives were really pro and actually reminded me about my legal rights wrt birth and all that when he was trying to come up with reasons why I should be in hospital. So I am eternally grateful to them for being supportive. Stripymouse, mine was in a flat in London and I screamed the place down but everyone next door swore they didn't hear a thing. It was daytime though so maybe they were out...

[WideWebWitch]

Blimey, that birthing pool is only £34 including shipping from the US and it looks great, thanks for the link stripymouse. You could use it as a kids pool afterwards but is it deep enough though?

[Rosiemum]

Just wanted to encourage all of you who are thinking of a home birth. I had a horrible time with dd1 in hospital, vowed I was going nowhere near one for dd2 and had the most fantastic home birth experience, despite my gp stating that as appendectomies were no longer carried out on kitchen tables babies should no longer be born at home....

Dd2's birth was amazing. I had an epidural with dd1, and a pretty horrible time. Dd2 was born after 3 hours labour, 1 hour really serious stuff; no pain relief other than a little gas and air at transition for 2-3 contractions until I could push. Favorite memories - Dd1 coming in when dd2 was only half an hour old and being enthralled by her new sister; snuggling down in bed with dh, dd2 by our sides after the midwife left; drinking champagne an hour post birth in my own bath; popping downstairs in the morning to make my own breakfast and phone my dad.

Go for it!

[Oakmaiden]

WWW - looks deeper than a bath, at any rate...

[elliott]

this may be of interest, ruth21. I would say one thing to bear in mind with a first birth is that statistically, you are more likely to end up transfering to hospital either before or after labour - obviously this isn't a problem safety wise, just an eventuality you need to be prepared for. Think your GP practice is a bit c* for not being able to provide a proper service - seems like the best bet would be to find another practice.

Katherine, totally agree that you are more likely to be able to cope with the pain at home. Labour also less likely to be prolonged if you are supported and encouraged to keep upright/mobile - definitely what did it for me - also the only reason I didn't have more pain relief was because there wasn't time, not because I didn't want it- and with hindsight I'm glad I didn't have it.

[elliott]

sorry, meant 'before or during labour'

[Oakmaiden]

Ruth21 - could you get in touch with AIMS? (Association for Improvements in Maternity Services). they want to hear from anybody who has had trouble trying to arrange the sort of birth they want - in fact if you follow this link to the Aims site, then a pop up will appear with conta\ct details for this.

[soyabean]

I had a homebirth for no. 3 and was very happy to have done so even tho ds2 came so very quickly that the midwife was outside on the doorstep when he arrived!
First birth in hospital took about 24 hours from start to 'finish', the last 5 or so in hospital. It all went well but I found it such a surprising and scary experience that I felt at the time glad not to have been at home. On the other hand perhaps I would have had better support from a midwife at home. In the hospital it was adequate but we felt that we were being left to get on with it ourselves a lot of the time and there was no continuity of care. I stayed in hospital 5 days because he was a bit jaundiced. It wasnt great but I ended up in a room on my own and in general i was quite reassured to have staff around to help.
With no 2 I said to the GP i had been thinking about domino or homebirth (not wanting to be away from ds1, then 3, for too long, was probably the main reason) and she basically said, right, domino then. I subsequently leant that she is v anti home birth. I didnt feel sure enough of myself to challenge her. It all went OK but I only had 1 hour in hospital before dd was born which was cutting it a bit fine. (5 hours all in all) Also I didnt have any of the community midwives Iwas supposed to be with. I did get home a couple of hours later tho, so my ds1 hardly missed me.
Sorry, this is getting long! For the third birth, I thought that if it got any quicker then I wouldnt even get to hospital. Also wanted to be with ds1 and dd asap after. Found some lovely community midwives, but in the event, ds2 took about 13 minutes from 1st contraction to being born! It was a huge shock to dp and me but on the other hand we felt so pleased that we had done it ourselves, and the main thing was that the midwife was there to check he was OK, cut the cord etc.
I really have rambled, havent thought about all the birth stories for a while. They are now 11, 8 and nearly 4. All healthy and beautiful. And I'm not having any more...Good luck to you all. I would recommend a home birth although I suppose with some reservations for a first birth. But with the right midwives I'm sure it would be great. And I second the others about noise: my neighbours claim to have heard nothing altho ds1 still teases me about the groaning sometimes. But the fact that he and dd could come in a nd see their little brother still on the cord was really fantastic.

[Ruth21]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. If I can't find another friendly practice to take me on, I will contact AIMS. It is good to know about the statistically higher chances of transferring to hospital, but also to realise that this is not necessarily a disaster. This was something the midwife talked about in a really scary way, that transferring to hospital while late in labour would be really awful and to be avoided at all costs. Whereas the women in the study that Elliott linked to who transferred said they were glad to have laboured at home for some of the time. I've also got a friend who laboured at home for a long time and was eventually transffered and had a c-section, and she is still really positive about the birth and being in labour at home. So I think probably the transferring thing is not as scary as it sounds at first.

The other thing the midwife scared me with was that if you have a long labour and are using gas and air the cannister could run out and you couldn't get another one. Has anyone heard of that happening? I don't really understand why they couldn't leave you with 2 or 3 cannisters in advance of labour starting, tbh. This one really seemed a bit like a scare story--but perhaps it is realistic.

Anyway, really interesting to hear everyone's stories. Can we keep this thread going until someone actually delivers and can report?? motherinferior are you the closest?

[motherinferior]

I think I am the closest - babe officially due in less than 3 weeks. Which could, of course, mean anything - dd was 2 days early. I have to say I'm finding this thread really useful and supportive.

And I think your midwives are being outrageous.

[WideWebWitch]

Ruth21, my canister of gas and air ran out and they then started to use the second one which had a leak, so that ran out pretty quickly too. A midwife came from the hospital and brought another about 15 mins later and it was NOT a pleasant 15 minutes, I can tell you. But hey, I got through it!

[Ruth21]

I've just spent some time on the phone to the local community midwife team, where the MW said my practice was being 'disgraceful' and gave me numbers of several local practices served by her team, who, she says, are all very pro-home birth and will be supportive. I had a few anxious moments calling around the practices and being told their lists were closed, but have now found one with an open list. I've got an appointment to register on Thursday with a nurse and should be able to see the midwife there next Wednesday. (Ooh, exciting first use of smileys!)

Maybe I will write a stroppy letter to my (soon to be ex) practice.

Let's hope no-one's gas and air cannisters spring leaks this time around ...

[bubbly]

Hullo everyone - wish I had had access to a thread like this when I was having my babies. Just wanted to say that I had 2 at home and 1 in hosp and I have spoken about this before on other threads but here goes again. dd1 in hosp ventouse(24hrs/pethidine and gas and air) dd 2 at home (8hrs a bit of gas and air) ds1 at home (12hrs gas and air).
I chose home after 1 as my post birth experience was very grim in the hospital and I missed my dp dreadfully when he was sent home. It was also long and I was very very bored even though we took in scrabble and music and papers etc.
1st Home birth was text book wonderful. Lots to do to keep me busy and did not call midwife until I was 8 cm and then only 2 pushes. All cuddled up in bed together after. It was lovely.
2nd home birth was a very difficult delivery (baby very late and posterior and enormous) and an experience I still havent come to terms with but with fantastic midwives and dp and a lot of noise and foul language on my partI was able to stay at home throughout. And again afterwards was lovely just being us all at home together sharing the new baby with each other.
However my overriding experience would lead me to chose a home birth above hopsital if I was ever in the situation againfor these reasons which suit me but not necessarily everyone will feel them relevant
In your home environment I felt like the the host and everyone else was my guest.
I was not a patient following hospital guidelines
I had a hundred distractions which I could chose to use or ignore.
i dicided when to bath when to eat when to run up and down stairs naked etc etc
No strangers were able to walk in to room when I was facing the door wiht legs up in stirrups.
The 'bugs'in the bath were my own and not 100 other peoples first (dont ask me about washing other peoples blood out of the bath so i could have one in hospital)
The food is considerably better and on demand!!
Despite my dps fears no mess got anywhere beyond the incopads and sheets we had prepared.
Siblings could meet the new baby when we chose not according to visiting times.
i could practise feeding without all the relatives of the person in the bed next to you watching.



What ever you chose wherever you end up I wish you all a positive experience wiht the support and love you all deserve.

[elliott]

bubbly and the others, thanks for sharing your experiences.

re transfers - I talked this through with my midwife and she said that the paramedics are alerted when midwives are attending a home delivery, as is the hospital labour ward. Personally I'd feel happier transferring in an ambulance than alone in the back of the car with dh driving (and you can be pretty far advanced in labour when you 'transfer' to hospital for a planned hospital birth, the difference is you have no way of knowing what stage you're at).

One thing I have wondered about is a late (36 week) scan. A friend having a home birth elsewhere in the country had this and it seems sensible - rules out undiagnosed breech and helps pinpoint the baby's presentation (last time no-one was quite sure whether ds was op and this of course made me think labour was going to be very long). But I don't think it is routinely offered to home births here. I will talk to my midwives, but wondered what other people have experienced?

[bubbly]

elliott
The midwifwe present at my difficult home birth gave me a 15 minute warning and had the ambulance on standby AFTER I had been pushing for and hour and a bit with no luck. She claims it was psychological to give me a little bit more momentum as She knew I would have done practically anything to not go in. But she also said she would have done it if the baby had stayed where he was as I was running out of energy and in considerable pain. When I was reseacrhing homebirth I read that in the majority of transfer cases they can tell with plenty of time that they need to transfer you. They also bring a resucitation kit for you and the baby and I think (but you should check) there are always 2 midwives on hand for a homebirth one for you and one for the baby. In both instances for me the midwives bag load of stuff was deliverd when I was 36 weeks and I had a good old rummage and asked loads of questions. The other thing about home birth that helped me make up my mind is that if you change YOUR mind at ANY point you can transfer IN but the other way round you cant go home mid labour. I found that very reassuring.It was then partly my decision and I had some control over it.


One other thing is that ihave found most midwives I have talked to like home births for the reasons that they are their own bosses being allowed to do what they do best and what they ae trained to do brilliantly. I fell madly 'in love ' with all my midwives they were life rafts and sense and calm. I had one midwife who every time I said I cant do this made me say I CAN do this I CAN do this. Now whenever I feel out of control in any situation I hear her voice - it will live wiht me forever.
In the hospital I can only remember the doctor at the saying 'what a waste of time that was' as he resttitched me ( they had spent a long time and an episiotomy attaching a ventouse and I pushed the baby out myself while they were all faffing around down that end. I felt like I had somehow let them all down by not using the technology appropriately!!!
Have you surfed for home birth websites? www.homebirth.co.uk is quite helpful and has links and I read Nicky Wessons 'Homebirth' and and american one as well called 'Homebirth' too I think by sheila kitzinger which was a bit overly sentimental but had some helpful stuff in it. THere is a lot out there but I may be quite out of date now, but these helped me. Also a couple of american sites I found just by trawling through links and stuff.
Sorry to bang - on a subject dear to my heart I fear!!

[Wills]

I've been told that where possible they HAVE to have 2 midwives present at the homebirth at the actual birth point. In other words they will always plan for you to have two basically one for you and one for the baby. In the event of there being only one and both mother and baby experiencing problems then they are instructed to concentrate and save mum first and then baby. However frightening that may sound I still think having at least 1 midwife concentrating solely on your birth is better than sharing that midwife between 5 other women all labouring at once so for me it didn't disuade me, it did the opposite. I felt I knew that (depending on the speed with which baby wants to arrive) I would have two qualified people there concentrating on us alone. My midwife said that I should phone when labour started and then depending on how I was progressing she would turn up at somepoint having already warned the second midwife to be on call and be ready to come. She would then let the second midwife know when it was appropriate to arrive.

Likewise I've been told that they bring a full resusitation kit with them. I feel a little like motherinferio in that what you're giving up by having a homebirth is an epidural and possibly I will decide that I want one after all but as bubbly states, its a lot easier for me to go into hospital at any point than for me to get out of hospital once I've arrived. So all in all I still think I get the best of both worlds but.... I gave up watching Holby City quite a few months ago!