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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

What shocked you during your birth? (full hand examinations)

168 replies

rochester · 03/03/2010 09:34

My first baby is due in four months and I would love some honest feedback from ladies who have been there and done that.
After watching 'One Born Every Minuite' last night I saw a midwife putting her whole hand into a woman who was as a result in great pain. I have only just come to terms with pushing a baby out, pushing a hand in is a totaly different matter!
I was shocked not only that this actualy happens but also by my own nievety that I had no idea that this happens!
Thank God I saw this program because nobody has ever told me I would be faced with this. It has left me wondering what else is there I should Know.
I have since found some feeds on Mumsnet about putting no/limited examinations as part of my Birth plan.
Is there anything you have since learnt that you wish you had put in your birth plan?

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Rindercella · 12/03/2010 12:43

It really does feel like you're pooing a watermelon.

The 'ring of fire; - nothing had prepared me for that!

Have to go through it all again in the next couple of weeks, am a little bit scared, but I read the following which was linked to on a thread yesterday and thought it was incredibly helpful, "It helps if you avoid stimulating the ?rational? part of your brain during labour. This can override the ?primitive? part which produces endorphins (your own natural pain-relievers) and oxytocin (the hormone which is produced when you go into labour)." Makes perfect sense to me.

Good luck.

wasabipeanut · 12/03/2010 12:48

How much amniotic fluid there actually is. And the fact that it keeps gushing with every contraction for a while after your waters break.

I was also surprised if not shocked by the fact that all the feeling was in my bum until the actual ring of fire moment.

The biggest shock was the fact that I actually pushed a baby out. This sounds silly but after my first "failed induction, failed labour, em cs" first birth I wasn't 100% convinced I could do it.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 15/03/2010 15:05

well rochester, i didn;t know about internal examination with my first child either, no one told me. But perhaps it better they didn't that would have just made me more anxious.

i also think you should not watch programmes like one birth every min, specially since its your first. I remember seeing some programmes in antenatal classes, and they made labour appear like it was a torture leading to death.

Yes some women find it more painful than others, but then we are fortunate to have pain relief in this country. I don't think it is as torturous as it appears in the media. Believe me if you keep a positive attitude, have good breathing techniques, take pain relief if you require it, you will be just fine. just try not to go all negative because that can just prolong the process. things may not go according to your birth plan if there are complications so bear that in mind.

I think with first they can be more fussy with internal examinations and keeping baby on heart monitor. so be sure to note in your birth plan, minimal examinations and say you want to be as active as possible so upright rather than lying down. heart monitors can restrict, i dont know why they put me on it since i had no problems, that really prolonged the process for me and made it more painful than need be.

A midwife told me leave your dignity at the door, seriously you need to. yes its hard but once contractions come hard and fast you will not care believe me.

however the first experience of labour and birth is mindblowing, life changing that memory remains imprinted forever, despite pain all i remember is the beauty and wonder of it all, it is truly amazing.

i hope your birth goes as planned keep positive, im sure you will have a gorgeous baby soon, and the pain will be forgotten in flash.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 15/03/2010 15:13

also wht they dont tell you, nasty stinging pain when babys' head is delivered that to me was more annoying than the labour pains coz it dragged, labour pains come and go so you can prepare for them.

also after birth go toilet you may be scared to go for a no.2 but that is no problem, urinating is painful, it stings like rubbing salt into a fresh wound. i used cold water. if there is a jug in bathroom pour the cold water feels better than wet tissues.

Also midwife said may be hard having shower once a day, but make sure you have one day and night, will give relief in lower regions and help to heal quicker.

take slippers for shower, shower room used by so many ppl may be dirty when you enter. try and go in early morning, that way bathroom will be just done by cleaner, sorry my ocd habits starting to show lool.

be prepared for an array of midwifes prodding and pulling your breasts trying to help you to breast feed, making you feel like a prized dairy cow. i really hated this i had the blues, and this just made me feel worse, now i am left hating breast feeding.

Cadders1 · 15/03/2010 15:32

Although I could mention a few things that were not too pleasant I think it is probably best that you do not watch any more programmes and not to read all this thread! It won't help and I honestly don't really remember the bad bits now vividly, its all a bit of a blur - think it is probably worse for the DH! Remember you will get a baby at the end of it - and thats all you really remember.

My only advice is not to have a really strict birth plan - because you will probably only end up being disappointed. You never know how you will react once you are in labour.

Good luck.

mummybookworm · 15/03/2010 20:56

The most shocking (of a few shocking things) to happen to me was post birth. I had a forceps delivery with episiotomy, lots of tears and stitches and 2 blood transfusions (this was all fine). Post birth my bladder went into retention and I had to go home with an indwelling catheter (having refused to be shown intermittent self-catheterisation as I was sick to the back teeth of having my nin poked and prodded and oohed and ahhed at). I work for a Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist at the hospital I gave birth at and I had never heard of what happened to me happening to anyone else. During my pregnancy I (thought) I had read every pregnancy book/leaflet/website on the earth and yet this completely poleaxed me. I finally agreed to self-catheterise about 10 days after DD was born and I was right as rain about 2 days after that. If you are offered self-catheterisation - do it. No matter how crap you feel. It is worth it to feel remotely human again. I am not sure if I will have an opportunity to have another child but if it happened again, it wouldn't faze me. I may have had a pretty stressful time but oh it was so worth it and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Good luck.xx

snugglejunkie · 17/03/2010 14:11

With you rochester on the whole 'knowledge is power'. I lapped up all birth stories beforehand - the bizarrely easy to the frighteningly complicated.

V lucky to have relatively straightforward birth (tho not ended up with waterbirth as had planned!) However I still managed to get a few shocks...

My 'show' didn't come until I was actually in labour. And it was really bloody I thought something had gone wrong. Carried on in the pool, tho by this stage I was off my melons on gas & air and started naming the few blood/mucus clots as they were fished out

That I would be so vocal - and could bellow so low. DH thought my voice had broken!

Ring of fire = truetruetruetrue! But even tho I could feel the tearing I didn't care, just wanted to get the bugger out!

That my scary first wee wasn't painful at all - but was a 'Dad's piss' of epic proportions. Still have no idea how my bladder held all that liquid.

That my friend's warning was completely accurate: "Your fanjo will look like it's been twatted repeatedly with a barbed wire cricket bat and will probably make you cry".
Had a good cathartic sob when I got home about my poor swollen undercarriage which had odd bits hanging down. Had 2nd degree tear, another that went up & lots of smaller lacerations. It's healed fine. Looks almost the same.

That my piles would take 3 & half months to go!!

Prepared myself that I would find it hard to bond (horrible pregnancy), so mostly that I totally and completely fell head over heels for a squidgy, bloody, scrunched-up wailing little man as soon as he was passed, cord attached and all, into my very shaky arms.

Good luck !!

stuffedmk · 19/03/2010 13:30

rochester have only just come back to the thread
You asked what position I was in when I got a labial tear....I was lying on my back, have no idea if this makes it more likely or not. I suppose the pressure may go further forward as it has no space to go backwards???
It wasn't terrible (no stitches needed) and healed fairly quickly but I am slightly lopsided now Sorry TMI

stinkypinky · 19/03/2010 17:27

Rochester I think it is great that you are soaking up all this info - I foolishly decided to be 'guided by the professionals' being in the nursing profession myself.

My biggest shock was the lack of communication. Debrief helped, but if only they had explained things at the time... Am due in 4 weeks, and will be a royal PITA!

The nice shock was that when DH was holding baby (as I had a massive PPH - we both thought I was dying) I said 'hello' to her, and she turned and looked directly at me. I will never forget that...

Best of luck x

Kingsroadie · 20/03/2010 19:29

How much I loved my epidural! And how my head actually felt like it was about to explode every time I pushed. Also how hot it was in hospital with all the windows shut - I begged them to open one but they refused, saying that the baby was going to be born soon and that it had to be warm in the room (they also had the heat lamp on for when she was born ). It was the end of November and freezing outside - I cannot imagine what it must be like in mid summer! I thought I was going to faint with lack of oxygen from pushing and heat - I made everyone cover me in wet paper towels and was completely naked and drank water after every contraction/push. Using a straw - essential!

Oh, also I arrived in hospital, was examined and was 5cm - mw put about 4 fingers up but I didn't even feel it - I may have been in too much pain. Then after the epidural I couldn't feel a thing - it was awesome - I asked them to check me as I wanted to know how dliated I was etc before they tried to break my waters. The mw even tried to manually rotate my daughter's head a bit as she had got herself into a slightly odd position. (Turned out she had her hand by her head - luckily for me I had no perineal tearing but a small internal tear - which I didn't know you could get btw!)

MrsAFlowerpot · 20/03/2010 19:37

I did have a Dr put his whole hand in, but that was due to not being able to find DD's heartbeat, lots of meconium (sp?) when they broke my waters earlier and to check if the cord was coming first (it was). They then knocked me out and did an emergency cs. To be honest, looking back I'm quite shocked that although I remember the pain of labour (had been in active labour for 11 hours at this point) I don't at all remember the pain of this examination, just the sheer panic of something happening to DD.

EggyAllenPoe · 20/03/2010 19:42

according to DH i did a poo that was larger than the baby.

I was shocked that he looked.

chegirlWILLbeserene · 20/03/2010 19:46

Course internal exams bloody hurt! Twinge - I dont fecking think so.

I had one with DC4. The MW started fishing around for his head. As he was still somewhere up in the region of my throat she had a bloody job. I was in so much pain I has an out of body experience.

When she stopped the MW looked really puzzled as to why I had screamed my head off. I had been very calm up until then.

If anyone tries that this time they will get my foot in their face.

Check for dilation - fine - look for the head - look out for my big toe coming towards your nose.

mrsjuan · 20/03/2010 20:23

I was induced and after they put the pessary in it felt like I was turning inside out - agony. Then when a midwife came to examine me it was so so painful even for her to touch me that I had to have gas and air.

I think she thought I was a complete wimp and therefore didn't believe me when I said I was ready to push a few hours later after her telling me I wasn't even in established labour yet. I think she got the shock of her life when she checked and I was 10cm!

What surprised me was how much contractions hurt in my bottom. I thought it would all be in the stomach and had heard that you could get them in your back but mine were all in the bum region!

Personally I found the pushing bit was the easy bit - and just treated it like a sporting event

binjibaghi · 20/03/2010 20:35

Had an interesting discussion with some mums last week - in our circle those who had light easy periods found contractions really painful early on whereas those with hideous heavy painful periods found the contractions much easier to deal with and generally needed only gas and air. I loved the remy fentenal (sic) but was shocked beyond all belief when the midwife announced it was time to push and took all my lovely pain relief away ! ended up with emergency cs

Coles22 · 06/11/2018 06:56

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

BlueBug45 · 06/11/2018 19:02

@Coles22 - the thread is old and dead...

FrameyMcFrame · 21/11/2018 00:43

Actually I wouldn't worry about the internal exams. I didn't even notice they were happening and couldn't actually feel anything at all! And I'm a massive wuss when it comes to smear tests etc.

But when you're in labour everything is different and everything is relative

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