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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What shocked you during your birth? (full hand examinations)

168 replies

rochester · 03/03/2010 09:34

My first baby is due in four months and I would love some honest feedback from ladies who have been there and done that.
After watching 'One Born Every Minuite' last night I saw a midwife putting her whole hand into a woman who was as a result in great pain. I have only just come to terms with pushing a baby out, pushing a hand in is a totaly different matter!
I was shocked not only that this actualy happens but also by my own nievety that I had no idea that this happens!
Thank God I saw this program because nobody has ever told me I would be faced with this. It has left me wondering what else is there I should Know.
I have since found some feeds on Mumsnet about putting no/limited examinations as part of my Birth plan.
Is there anything you have since learnt that you wish you had put in your birth plan?

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wem · 03/03/2010 13:14

When the midwife asked if I wanted to feel the head as DD was crowning. It was so soft and squishy I thought she was coming out in her waters.

Don't know about shocked, but another surprising thing was in the shower post birth and having this big baggy empty belly that didn't feel a part of me at all, just hanging there. Don't know what I was expecting to happen to it, would have been a long time waiting for it to ping back!

Shufflingroundthesides · 03/03/2010 13:20

Shocking things during my dc births include

The examination and yes they can be immensely painful(more pain for me than the head crowning)
The speed of labour(i have precipitous labors )
How different i felt after the 2nd birth than the 1st
The disorientation
The jelly belly that you are left with

Baileysismyfriend · 03/03/2010 13:25

Didnt have a birth plan, as they are not my cup of tea really but the main thing I wish I had known is that you might not be able to eat for a loooong time so cram as much in as you can before you go to the delivery suite!

During both my births I was realy hungry, after the birth of DD I said 'oh yes, shes very cute, ummmm can I have some toast?'

Morloth · 03/03/2010 13:26

Most shocking for me was how effective the hypnobirthing was and how pushing didn't hurt. You only ever hear the horror stories so even if you work hard at it, it is in the back of your mind that things will go wrong.

I only ever had one internal examination, we got to the hospital and was about 9cm, MW had a look asked me if I wanted waters broken, accepted the No and let me get on with things.

Also just how hungry I was after, because I laboured at home I could have eaten at any point but hadn't been hungry for the previous 2 days (about a 48 hour labour). So when he was finally out, I could have eaten a horse.

Very much looking forward to my next labour. Have been considering whether to be more active or just go with the lazing about in bed reading method again, takes a while but means it is pretty chilled.

etchasketch · 03/03/2010 13:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBadger · 03/03/2010 13:26

that I was able to put my head down on the side of the pool and have a sleep
(in retrospect I thuink this was 'transition')

how wonderful the first postnatal shower would feel

etchasketch · 03/03/2010 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenofDreams · 03/03/2010 13:31

Oh yes, the jelly belly. I lay in bed kneading it after the birth. It felt like uncooked dough. Has a very weird fascination to it though.

Morloth · 03/03/2010 13:36

You miss them a little bit too don't you? I remember feeling quite "empty" afterwards even though had DS in my arms.

gypsymummy · 03/03/2010 13:38

what shocked me was how strong i actually was when it came to the pain and the mess of labour and then how helpless i could be when the baby was actually there and crying and i did not know what to do!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 03/03/2010 13:42

(Morloth, what hypnobirthing cd/book/course was it? I could do with something before my next one but due in ten weeks so can't really book a course!) Sorry for the thread hijack.

bobblehat · 03/03/2010 13:43

The thing that shocked me the most was how painful it was after. I could hardly walk and sitting down was worse. Even pouring water over my bits when I wee'd didn't help.

That and the fact that just because your waters haven't broken, doesn't mean you've got ages before the birth. DS2 was born still in the sac.

Lizzylou · 03/03/2010 13:47

I was very shocked as well at how I had to stay up all night trying to establish breastfeeding with a crying newborn just when I really needed some sleep!
I was exhausted after a long labour and thought it was most inconsiderate

phokoje · 03/03/2010 13:51

being shaved from roughly under my armpits to just above my knees............by 4 nurses with disposable razors and no lubrication.

had specifically asked if i needed to be shaved etc (was having planned csection) and my OB and midwives said no.

got to hospital, met with cries of horror and hands thrown in air, then manhandled onto bed and rapidly shaved!

was so shocked i dont think i even said anything.

Sonilaa · 03/03/2010 13:53

I was surprised that with dc1 my legs and bum hurt more than the contractions (induced on a drip and strapped to the monitor, not "allowed" other positions). I was also surprised that the "rush of love" didn*t happen. With dc2 I was surprised by the "rush of love" and felt a bit guilty...

shonaspurtle · 03/03/2010 14:01

The feel of ds's head when the midwife asked if I wanted to touch it as he was crowning (felt sort of like jelly - weird). She then asked if I wanted a mirror to see it. Nooooo I was too much of a wuss.

But mainly, the biggest surprise was that they used scissors to cut the episiotomy. Don't know why, but that really shocked me!

FreakoidOrganisoid · 03/03/2010 14:05

How different my two labours were. I went into the second one thinking I knew what to expect but no.

curlimum · 03/03/2010 14:06

bertiebotts - just to clarify, i didnt drive home myself, hubbie was driving, but sitting in the passenger seat was bad enough -especially over the speedbumps !!

notasausage · 03/03/2010 14:14

The MW pulling the umbilical cord to help the placenta out - I hadn't expected it and it felt weird, like my entire uterus might follow!.

Being stabbed in the leg with an injection moments after delivering just as I thought all the pain was over.

How impossible it is to describe the feeling of holding your baby for the first time.

How good gas and air is - bye bye tens machine, hello new friend!

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 03/03/2010 14:25

notasausage - that happened to me, and hence I ended up in theatre.

I'm pretty sure tugging on the cord is not good practice.

LadyThompson · 03/03/2010 14:29

Can someone (pref one of the midwives on here) please tell me why people who have vaginal births are stitched up at the end with no anaesthetic? I think it's a disgrace.

I have had one cs and will have another later on in the year and so don't know about this stuff, but it just sounds so brutal. Er...and I would lodge a ginormous complaint if that happened to me. I don't see it happening in any other field of medicine.

cyteen · 03/03/2010 14:32

LT, I had a vaginal birth and was given gas and air plus a local anaesthetic when being stitched afterwards. Actually they wanted to take me to theatre and give me a spinal, but after pushing DS out with no pain relief I felt even more opposed to the idea and said no.

FlyingDuchess · 03/03/2010 14:34

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LadyThompson · 03/03/2010 14:46

Oh, I see. Ok. Well...you are all a lot braver than me

TulipsInTheRain · 03/03/2010 14:56

I had no anaesthetic to be stitched up... they gave me a pain relief pessary towards the end but nothing for the stitching, and i'd had a pain relief free birth so had nothing residual in my system to get me through it.

It was so horrendous i refused to let them stitich me after my next two births.