What shocked you during your birth? (full hand examinations)

[rochester]

My first baby is due in four months and I would love some honest feedback from ladies who have been there and done that.
After watching 'One Born Every Minuite' last night I saw a midwife putting her whole hand into a woman who was as a result in great pain. I have only just come to terms with pushing a baby out, pushing a hand in is a totaly different matter!
I was shocked not only that this actualy happens but also by my own nievety that I had no idea that this happens!
Thank God I saw this program because nobody has ever told me I would be faced with this. It has left me wondering what else is there I should Know.
I have since found some feeds on Mumsnet about putting no/limited examinations as part of my Birth plan.
Is there anything you have since learnt that you wish you had put in your birth plan?

plantsitter, maybe you should watch it before commenting.

I think it shows an amazing range of labours and outcomes. The couple Joy and Fabio were shown throughout her 4 day failed induction, a lot of the time just bickering over silly things.

It is masterful tv, very subtle documentary making, and I think expectant parents can really learn something by watching it.

My NHS antenatal class did not prepare me one bit.

The thing that shocked me most?
The poo

debka - Joy was NOT a wuss about that internal. I had a very similar labour to her (got to 3cms in 26 hours of labour before we decided on a section due to DS being v.distressed). I was examined regularly due to having been induced, and the internals were more painful than the contractions. Can remember it so well, and that sinking feeling of terror when I knew another examination was coming.

I contracted hard for the first 5 hours - they came right on top of each other and there was no space inbetween. It was bloody agony but turned out that DS was back to back. After 5 hours it all stopped.

I also had to have a clip attached and ended up on my back with a Dr and 3 midwives peering up my chuff trying to get the clip attached to DS' head through my undilated and swollen cervix.

rochester - I don't want to scare you with all of that, but I think it is very hard to be prepared. You can write a birth plan of how you would like things to happen, and if you have a straightforward birth then there is no reason why that plan can't be stuck to.
It is very important to keep an open mind though.

You will be fine

Hmm, I was shocked when the (male) consultant put his hand (and yes it was his whole hand) into my fanjo to 'check I was pushing correctly, even though the midwife had already told him I was .

However I think he was more shocked when I pulled it out and said 'no you don't sunshine, you can fucking fuck right off'

He really did look like this -->

Oh how we laughed afterwards

How brutal it was.

It was strange when DD's head was born and i could feel her body turning. It freaked me out a bit.

With her when i had my first VE the Mw that did it was a huge west indian woman with hands like snow shovels. It felt like she had her entire hand up there but i don't actually think she did !

How much it hurt. Sound trite, but honestly, I wasn't prepared for it to hurt that bloody much! I was induced and was thrown into full blow labour with contractions 5 mins apart and the thing I found the hardest was that I had no time to recover between contractions.

Also, I was shocked that I didn't automatically get skin to skin contact after birth.

• that between each contraction, I would be fully lucid and pain-free and having completely normal conversation, even right at the end

• that I'd have to do 4 or 5 big pushes on each breath out - that was hard

• that you really really honestly don't care what they do to you right at the end and just afterwards - you just want the baby out and safe

• that my legs would shake uncontrollably for 20 mins post-birth

• that the whole head didn't come out in just one push

oh, and...
-that you'll never know love like it, and will just know what to do. I'd never even changed a nappy or held a newborn...two weeks on, we're doing just fine. Good luck.

I was surprised that I didn't scream/swear/yell. Labour was very calm
I did hate the examinations, but was only examined twice thank goodness
I was VERY surprised when DS tried to go back in after his head had come about halfway out. That felt like someone punching me in the fanjo.
How much it stung delivering the placenta. It hurt more than crowning did.
DS being born blue, floppy and not breathing - that was shocking (he was ok after a couple of minutes with the paediatricians going at him)
LIke others, I didn't care who saw me naked (very unusual for me) MIL stayed through entire labour. She says she kept expecting me to tel her to leave, but I just never cared enough to bother.

When the consultant came to check me before having ds1 and asked his nurse to go and get a torch so he could see better
It is a tale my DH daren't ever tell anyone in RL

OK I take it back about the telly programme then. Probably not sensible to comment without having watched

I still found all of labour surprising though - things like not minding or even welcoming internal exams but finding going to the loo between contractions a torment without gas and air. And I think things feel quite different from the head end than from the camera or obsever end, if you see what I mean.

I can't thank you all enough. I have read and re-read all of your comments.
What has realy struck me is how different all your experiances are. I feel my confidence growing as I learn about all your experiance. I can imagine being in my labour and remembering "ah yes this is what happend to xxx from mums net"
Thankyou all again.
Especially happy to read your comment stripeyknickerspottysocks

yeah everyone's experience really is different, half the stuff I've read here didn't hurt, or was less shocking, or hurt way more, or was more shocking!!

For me, the internals weren't that bad until a contraction hit, so just demand that they do it between contractions. I laugh in retrospect because I remember when I needed one doing and this bloody enormous fella walked in in scrubs, with ginormous bunch-of-bananas hands, and I went - was so grateful when my tiny little female consultant did it instead lol

What shocked me was the lack of communication really, I expected to be told what was happening, but no-one really explained much, before or after.

Oh and I was pretty shocked that she would sew me up without anaesthetic for apparently no reason.

I was expecting it to be more painful than it was. I was also expecting the pain to be constant. Turns out that between contractions everything felt fine. Just sat there and chatted.

I had my waters broken and I laughed like a loon (before gas at this stage). It just felt so funny.

I thought contractions would feel different. To me they just felt like strong stomach cramps like when you have diahorrea. I was lucky in that it didn't feel that bad.

Hoq quick it was. Hour and a half.

Surprised that being induced was not to bad. I had read horror stories. I had pessaries and my waters broken. There was no pain at all just a mild back ache.

How quick it was. Hour and 20 mins from watres breaking to birth.

Sorry repeated how quick it was .

Can't even remember any internals other than the crochet hook thing used to break waters.

It was hard work pushing, but it didn;t feel at all vaginal, just felt like shitting a watermelon.

With my DD, first birth, was shocked when she came out totally blue... and not breathing although she was fine pretty quickly.

With my DS nothing shocked me at all, no internal exams, very manageable pain (recommend some hypnosis preparation etc) no tears, all lovely and calm in pool.

Most shocking? The sudden, explosive gush of hindwaters that soaked a registrar and a midwife, and sounded like someone had kicked over a mop bucket!

Lol at Yank's mopbucket.

Mine came out all of a gush as well.

I roared with laughter. So did the midwife bless her. XDP looked mildly sick.

Sunshinemummy I was in labout for more than 36 hours and vomitted for about 24. It only stopped when I had an epidural but then they wouldn't let me eat (I think they had earmarked me as a c-section and therefore denied me food). I wasn't even allowed sweets or sweet drinks to give me a bit of energy. As a result I was knackered and I really resent them for that as I am sure the final stages would have been quicker with more energy. Still I didn't have a c-section and declined they forceps too. I was naive and ill informed I guess

Like Annaseptic: I had visions of birthing my child vaginally. Never considered that a) I would never labour b) that I would end up with my stomach sliced open. I was 100% sure that births like that don't happen to women like me after all I'd read Inna-May from cover to cover, and I was confident and strong and convinced I was in for some (very painful) but spiritual experience. Feels a bit like grief that is all went FUBAR

the amount of water in your waters!! I guess everyone is different, but mine just didn't stop leaking, but it was a lot!

I was shocked at how long it took and how painful it could be(DS1's mammoth labour) but also after that experience, how completely excited and giddy I was when I went into labour with DS2, knowing I was about to do it all again.

I was shocked at how I could cope with it all, gas and air was my saviour personally, bloody wonderful stuff.

I am v squeamish but internals were not bad at all, truly. And if you puke/wee/poo you truly won't care and it's nothing the MWs won't have seen before.

I also shocked myself by allowing a roomful of students into the final stages of DS2's birth, at that point I couldn't care less who could see up my nethers.

Really, be prepared, be informed but you have no idea how it'll go so try not to worry. Both of my births have been different and all of my friends have had very different experiences.

Good luck and will await your birth announcement

With dd1 that it didn't hurt or you could be in labour without having contractions .

I only went to the hospital because i had a very bloody show at 39wks so i went to be checked at the hospital, only to be told I was 9cm. Then only had 3 or 4 contractions to push her out.

DD2 & DS were both induction at 1 & 2 weeks late again wasn't that painfull I would say more intense and both were delivered with 4hours of induction being started.

Screaming from down the hall from another mum and blood all over the place in the maternity ward.

I was shocked when the MW asked me if I wanted to feel the head after DS had crowned. Er, no thanks, I can feel it quite enough as it is!