What shocked you during your birth? (full hand examinations)

[rochester]

My first baby is due in four months and I would love some honest feedback from ladies who have been there and done that.
After watching 'One Born Every Minuite' last night I saw a midwife putting her whole hand into a woman who was as a result in great pain. I have only just come to terms with pushing a baby out, pushing a hand in is a totaly different matter!
I was shocked not only that this actualy happens but also by my own nievety that I had no idea that this happens!
Thank God I saw this program because nobody has ever told me I would be faced with this. It has left me wondering what else is there I should Know.
I have since found some feeds on Mumsnet about putting no/limited examinations as part of my Birth plan.
Is there anything you have since learnt that you wish you had put in your birth plan?

Hmm - I wasn't shocked as such, but more kind of that I went into labour asking for no internal exams unless absolutely necessary (I'm a complete wuss) and because of the way the labour went, ended up with the world and his wife with their hands up there - ds had to have a clip put on his head (while he was still in me!) and it kept falling off - I was laughing in the end at how comical it all got. Thankfully at this point I'd had an epidural so they all helped themselves in and out (and eventually the little bugger had to come out via a c-section...).

So much for birth plans!

For DC1 definitely internal examinations. I had no idea they could be that painful when you are not very much dilated.

I also vomitted for about 24 hours and I wasn't expecting that.

Was also shocked to be forbidden any food at all.

With DC2 I had a hypnobirthing home water birth and was shocked at how easy it was

i thought i knew what to expect during birth, and to be honest it wasnt too surprising (except how weird it felt when they broke my waters!) but it was how sore i felt after giving birth that i didnt expect! no-one told me that just walking would be so challenging! and that first drive home, well i could barely sit on the seat! oh and going to the loo....

What shocked me during birth? How manageable I found the contractions and that there really was time to rest and prepare between contractions. Oh, and that an actual baby came out of my fanjo, both times

The best tip I can give you for post birth is to pour lukewarm water over your fanjo as you wee for the first week or so. It really helps!

Having to have a c-section was pretty shocking.

Went into hospital with visions of aromatherapy, back massages and 'I am Woman, Hear Me Scream', type shenanigans, and came out with a gaping great scar across my abdomen, doped up on morphine.

How painful it was from the off. Turns out I was dilating very fast.

How anal it all felt, the baby does feel like a giant poo.

Yes internal exams really hurt as do stitches.

How brilliant and amazing you will feel afterwards

I was just totally unprepared for how much the birth would take out of me. I was so tired that it hurt to hold DS in my arms, I had to feed him lying down in bed. They got me to go and have a shower and I nearly blacked out because the sound and feel of the water was too much to cope with.

Nobody examined me with a whole hand, so I don't know how common this is, but it might not happen to you.

If you go for a waterbirth you will be less likely to have as many examinations I think. I laboured in water and it was lovely, I would loved to have given birth in the pool as well. Maybe next time!

Curlimum you drove home yourself?? Ouch! Very brave I remember sort of hovering in the back seat not taking my eyes off PFB DS as he looked so tiny in his car seat, the head hugger barely touched him!

I'm a m/w, I have never put my whole hand up a woman for an internal, never known another m/w do it, never heard of it being done and I doubt its possible. The only time I've ever know a Dr do it is after delivery for a retained placenta and then the woman is taken to theatre and given a spinal.

It may have felt to the woman on TV last night like the m/w put her whole hand up but I am 99.9% sure she did not. 2 fingers only. So please try not to worry too much about that.

i think the lack of being able to plan anything was probably a shock, and even then i knew it would be like that...i KNEW the moment i wrote my birth plan it wouldn't happen like that (and it didn't). I remember texting a friend joking about how i'd not let a student MW come near me again after a stretch and sweep - the funny thing about that is that wasn't even HALF of it by the time i was done!!
You really do just cope with extraordinary things whilst in labour, because that's What You Do..like dottydot i had to have a clip on the baby's head, wasn't really my first choice but i'd rather that than my baby become very ill without anyone knowing. Likewise when they started talking about CS, it wouldn't have been my first choice but better that we both survive...(i did actually push her out just before they made the decision!!)
There was a nice clip of the MW last night in OBEM where she said "Labour takes a long time because it's Mother NAture teaching you patience, which is the most important thing you need as a mother"
You still have lots of time to read and reflect about it all - you'll be amazed how much is already there instinctively!!

I also don't believe she had the whole hand up there. I think she was a bit of a wuss to be honest....

Oh give her a break, she had been contracting for about 5 days!

I was amazed how the pain just stopped. I was still bracing myself for the next contraction for ages after DD was born, couldn't quite believe that something so painful could end so abruptly.

also having your legs up in stirrups to be stitched up was a bit too much exposure for me....hey everyone come and look here.....ewww what a mess!

I had a birth plan.... didn't follow any of it.

Internal exams don't hurt... they twinge a bit when they touch your cervix but they don't hurt.... Now a mw manually stretching your cervix the last few centimetres as your baby is dying and there's no time for a c-section so you have to start pushing despite only being 8 cm... that bloody hurts! (and i'm not sure it was exactly textbook practice on the mws part tbh )

I was surprised by how much your body does of its own accord... I had an image of getting pains and then actually having to push a baby out, I was quite surprised by the fact that i had very little say in the matter at all.... my body expelled the baby and i was just along for the ride.

I was surprised at how intense the contractions were from very early on, and also surprised by how completely the pain vanishes in between contractions.... you really start to wonder if you've imagined it in the lulls!

I was surprised with ds1 that it took several hours for my waters to finish flooding out of me after the ARM, every contraction brought a new flood and it was quite annoying!

I was extraordinarily surprised by crowning.... and no matter how much you hear about it in advance, or how often you've experianced it it's still surprising every fecking time you do it!

I never noticed the mw givng me an examination - was off my face on gas and air by that stage.

The lady on that show had been in labour for days - everything would have felt awful by then!

I was surprised by the pain. It was awful. However, the actual pushing out bit wasn't that bad. It was the first stage that really got me. Horrid. I am due number 2 in 3 mths and dread it.

Another thing that surprised me was how quick it can be. Having had it drummed into me not to go to hospital too soon, Ileft it too late by which time I felt totally out of control from the pain.

I wasn't surprised that the old adage 'you soon forget' is NOT TRUE! I have never forgotten and I am not alone. I had a straightforward birth and it was a traumatic experience for me. One I got over quickly, but a trauma nonetheless.

The most shocking thing for me was when the head was out and the midwife asked if I wanted to touch the head to see. I did, and it just felt really weird - like, arrrrgggghhh, there is a head coming out my fanjo! (and this was the second time so I really should have known what was going on!)

Also, my waters breaking. They broke really late and went POP and then there was a gush on the floor. I was a bit out of it on pethidine and just stood there looking at the water on the floor then rushed to the loo and sat there until the midwife suggested I should come back into the delivery suite unless I wanted the baby to born down the toilet.

For me the most shocking thing was how much it hurt to have my waters broken - this might not be everyone's experience but I found it agonising and DH could see how much pain I was in and told them to stop.

Also, how much I needed to rely on DH to fight my corner. Luckily he was brilliant and kept on at them to give me what I wanted.

How much my legs swelled after the epidural.

How little I cared that I was semi-naked while people were walking in and out of the room. DH and the midwife kept covering me up but I really couldn't care less.

Being told I had to have an EMCS was also very shocking.

Lifeistooshort - I can't believe you weren't allowed to eat. I was in labour for 3.5 days with a (failed) induction and the four shopping bags of food we took in was an absolute life-saver!

Yep, waters breaking was weird - it just doesn't stop for ages! And the fact they keep on running for the rest of your labour so you leave dribbles wherever you go. Hadn't thought about it beforehand but obviously preferable to not having a constant stream of amniotic fluid - otherwise there would be a lot of chaffing on the way out!

Also shocked that I really didn't care about being in the birth pool in my birthday suit - it was nightie off and straight in, no bikini top or nothing. Never saw the nightie again actually....

Also my community midwife popping in to the pool room to see me (was supposed to be a homebirth but started bleeding so went in for a check, was ok but then too far gone to get home!)as she was heading back to hospital on the way home. "And what are you doing here?"was her opening gambit. Nice to see a familiar face and we had a nice chat. Although I had never been to any of my antenatals naked before but again, I just didn't care...

I would advise to be very very fiesty and make sure your birthing partner knows your wishes.

I was forced into on the back monitoring and was in so much pain/scared I just gave in.

Be prepared for the gore too - there's a lot of it (including poo)

Oh and yes with every contraction look forward to that amazing wave of calm you get inbetween, and make the most of it.

you will maybe end up with your feet in stirrups , about 10 people milling around, an arm up your fanny, and a man stitching your fanny for half an hour, and YOU WONT EVEN CARE

I didn't watch that programme but I suspect it's not advisable for pregnant women to watch it!

Whatever it looks like on screen (even the lovely calm NCT class birth videos), the whole experience is 'surprising' cos you've never experienced it before. And all the hormones, possibly pain relief and excitement make things feel different than they look on telly anyway. The possibility is that you'll be so desperate to know how far dilated you are, you'll be begging the midwife to put her hand (as others have said, fingers really) up there!

I think it's important to educate yourself about these thing (knowledge is power etc) but perhaps choose things that are aimed at pregnant women as I think this is a general entertainment show, isn't it? They will want to show all the most interesting, gruesome, tear-jerking bits when a lot of labour is frankly a bit boring.

Oh yes and the after pains can be quite bad.

I didn't have many with DS as (after a drug free birth grr) I had retained placenta so had a spinal and went into theatre.

With DD they were shockingly bad, but I found BFing calmed them down.

Everybody is different...remember that.Some people find sometings hard or painful that others find easy,there is no right or wrong.My DS2 was big,even compared to 9lbs 7oz DC1.He was fully engaged by 7/8 months.I was so bruised,swollen and painful down below by the time I was induced at 40 plus 10 that any examination really hurt! Luckily they did one to induce me,and then let me get on with it myself.I had a great hospital for both deliveries-big up the Ulster Hospital Dundonald,Belfast.Midwives let you move,kneel,stand,whatever,no interference.By the way DS2 was 10lbs 110z-how the hell did I do that?! I was crapping myself all through both pregnancies about delivery.My tips? Move about when getting to 10cms,then find comfortable position for pushing,try to stay focused,listen to your body-it tells you what to do.You do get a great prize at the end...Woopsi.