What shocked you during your birth? (full hand examinations)

[rochester]

My first baby is due in four months and I would love some honest feedback from ladies who have been there and done that.
After watching 'One Born Every Minuite' last night I saw a midwife putting her whole hand into a woman who was as a result in great pain. I have only just come to terms with pushing a baby out, pushing a hand in is a totaly different matter!
I was shocked not only that this actualy happens but also by my own nievety that I had no idea that this happens!
Thank God I saw this program because nobody has ever told me I would be faced with this. It has left me wondering what else is there I should Know.
I have since found some feeds on Mumsnet about putting no/limited examinations as part of my Birth plan.
Is there anything you have since learnt that you wish you had put in your birth plan?

I had no anaesthetic to be stitched after my last baby, the doctor, may he now suffer from piles, said "give her the baby to hold, it'll take her mind off it"

It bloody didn't

I think what surprised me most was how very glad I was that Dh wasn't there.

He was supposed to be there but it had emerged in conversation how absolutely terrified he was so I had the induction, birth etc on my own.

He did attend the birth of our next child, he's toughened up (got more scared of me) by then but for my first birth experience in a purely selfish way, I'm glad it was all mine.

Earthmother, I can tell you if a doctor said that to me (and I suspect I'll be flamed for this) I'd be straight on the blower to a lawyer. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with crap like that and as I said, it wouldn't happen in another field of medicine.

Sadly LadyT it was 27 years ago so I'm guessing the statute of limitations has long since run out

I know we have heard awful about our health service but, please god, its moved on since then.

I was the one who said I'd got stitched up with no anaesthetic, I assumed that was the case and then I asked my anaesthetist a few weeks ago as she had my previous notes open who confirmed it. Funnily enough I'm having a debriefing next week so it'll be interesting to see what they say about it. Seems so unnecessary and barbaric, especially when you're so bruised and tender there already.

I've only ever seen women be stitched up with anasthetic, some local would be injected in first. Unless the woman has an epidural in situ already. I would not be happy being stitched without anasthetic and no way would I do it to someone else.

Shonespurtle I reluctantly agreed to touching the baby's head but I accused the MW of insanity when she offered me a mirror to look.

The biggest shock for me was how well I coped with labour (first contaction started Wednesday night, delivered Saturday 9m) but how little I was prepared for the aftermath.

Fantastic hearing all your tales.
Jelly belly sounds like fun as does the mop bucket gush and torchlight examinations .
Does the pooing happen to everyone as a result of pushing?
I would be very intrested to find out the statistics as to tearing, cutting or just stretching, which is statisticaly most likely at Kingston Hospital?
Thankyou all for being so open honest and frank you have made me feel all of the emotions the little links and smileys can display and more.

I'm sure there are lots of midwives, consultants and so on who wouldn't dream of stitching someone up without anaesthetic but it troubles me that, in this day and age, there are some who would. As I say, I will have enough anaesthetic to floor a whale for my cs, as last time, and don't see why people who have a vb shouldn't be accorded with the same courtesy (unless of course they don't want to, as one of the ladies above didn't after having had a drug free birth).

JamesAndTheGiantBanana I used the Mongan Method, with the books and the CD, really love the Rainbow stuff, worked like a charm, just relax into the contraction if that makes any sense.

I did see a hypno practitioner in Australia and have since met Sarah Johnson here in London, she could probably do you a crash course if you wanted her too - have a google.

Oh and Rochester, sorry for hijacking your thread and I hope it all goes brilliantly for you. I had consultant led care so completely different but why not have a chat with your midwife if you feel strongly about tearing rather than being cut or whatever (some people don't do either anyway). Hopefully someone more expert than me can advise you.

for me the stitches were the worst bit

the birth was fabulous (when labour got established) but stitches were not

i did have local anaesthetic and gas and air but it was horrid ... it seemed to take forever (about 8 mins in total) but it really upset me

One of the MWs said helpfully when i asked how much longer "do you want your sex life ruined forever"

actually, at that point i wouldn't have cared

With DD i was surprised and pleased to learn that a birth plan can actually happen - i had water birth, with just gas and air and a physiological 3rd stage - perfect and just how i wanted it

Biggest shock for me was the CORD! DD1 arrived like a cannon ball from a gun, shot out on the third push and off the end of the delivery bed. I looked down and all I could see was a length of black and yellow shiny flex with DD bunjy bouncing on the end. I thought I was hallucinating big time! Black and Yellow cord apparantly common with a jaundiced baby, DD2 had one too.

Also started to stitch me without anasthetic but I could not stop shaking so given G and A to relax me. That is when they discovered that the mask I had been using throughout labour was not connected to the G and A tank..........

I'm with lizzie Lou

establshing bf, twas only day 2 when I realised I couldn't have a nice 12 hour sleep to get over it all and I could only have naps of 3 to 4 hours.

wondering why I was sweating all the time too afterwards. - hormones.

other people in labour screaming -tis a little offputting

the gorgeous taste of in my case a sausage roll ( no toast) after a 10 month hyperemetic state. The minute the placenta was out I was super hungry and salivating for the first time in months - wierd.

my lo looking back at me as mw thrust into my arms - tis a cliche but I knew him already - he looked like my mum!

looking back at photos my dh took post birth and realising my legs are akimbo and still in stirrups. Had epidural for bp - couldn't feel a darned thing yet could "sense" contractions.( had to look at machine too) Must have been stitched up at that time (slight tear)

Oh gosh so many many surprises!

Internals were agony for me after 3 days of labour involving 6 induction pessaries. I had to have G&A just for the examinations and I had barely started dilating! Contractions for the 3 days prior to actual labour though so was exhausted and thoroughly fed up.

Unfortunately for me, I was like the woman on the previous episode where our little DD wasn't breathing after a failed epidural and Ventouse delivery. It was 15 minutes until we heard her cry - but that was the most amazing sound.

In the meantime I was being stitched up after being cut, but with the doctor forgetting to give me a local - that was worse than the whole labour!!

But, having said I'd never do it again, would absolutely do it again. Shame DH has refused to ever have another one...

1.) For some women, their bodies DON'T automatically know what to do and do it efficiently. You may be overdue, have a back to back/transverse/wrongly positioned baby. All the classes and practice in the world won't help if this is the case and you'll need to rely on medical intervention.

2.)There is such a thing as a sleepy baby. They must be woken to be fed as often as possible (min. 3 hours, more if feeds are shorter than 20-30min) or they will dehydrate/lose lots of weight and possibly require readmission to hospital for tube-feeding.

3.) Breastfeeding can be very difficult. You may well need lots of support to ensure you and baby are doing it correctly. It's best to seek out this support in advance in case you are too unwell to find it after the birth

4.) You might feel very unwell after the birth, even if nothing "went wrong". I personally felt like I might die for the first 3-4 weeks and was bombarded by visitors/family members inviting themselves round for dinner/offering to cook then making me wait hours for food etc etc. Recover as if you've had a major operation, even if you have a great birth. Get as much pain medication as you can and take it religiously. Ensure you have your iron levels checked post birth, anaemia can make you feel much worse. Don't plan to do anything except feed your baby for the first month.

5.) When all else fails, post something on mumsnet. Invaluable support and advice 24/7!

I was shocked that I managed to survive!

Then when I came to go home I couldn't fit into my favourite French Connection dress that I had been looking forward to wearng again and had to send DH home to get me a maternity dress. I was mortified!!!

I was suprised by;
My vomiting
How much my limbs were shaking
That I had to have a catheter
The pain (baby was back to front)
Having to have bed baths (I'd taken in nice Molton Brown bath stuff, thinking I'd have a luxurious bath after birth...but ended up with two nurses using it to give me a bed bath!)
How much I didn't care when they told me I needed a caesarian - just stop the pain!!
That even during the caesarian I was wondering when I could have another baby!
It doesn't matter what you go through.....its corny to say, but its all worth it...

Think the only realy bad bit was when I think a Dr DID put her full hand in and attempt to turn baby round DURING a contraction. He was back to front, it was the only point when I lost it.

Oh and after when they put him on my breast and he started sucking furiously, what a wierd sensation for the first time!!

I had an attemped manual rotation as a last ditch effort to get dd out vaginally before em cs became the only route. A surgeon had both hands inside me. It required a very extensive episiotomy and widening the stirrups as far as they would go. This is not de rigeur though. That was the bit that shocked dh, he went pale and then green. He said it was seeing a man with both hands inside me visibly tugging and audibly swearing that upset him more than anything.

What shocked me was how far from anything I read, anything I planned it was. My body couldn't do it, there was no urge to push, there was no rest between contractions, it hurt as much at 1cm dilated as it did at 10. Again, not normal. DD was in deep transverse arrest, asynclitic and trying to come out ear first.

That the effort of pushing for 6hrs would mean I burst all of the blood vessels in my eyes and quite badly tore a muscle.

That cs recovery didn't hurt at all.

That it would still affect me 2.10yrs later, in the most visceral way.

I was shocked at the internals - I thought they'd be like having a smear test, but they're not! I had one quite early on (I was 3cm) and in my naivity I actually requested it to see how far along I was. The less dilated you are, the more uncomfortable it is. I found the best way to cope was to do my contraction breathing during the examination. I had another 2 days later and I was STILL 3cm so it was again very very uncomfortable.

But the next one was at 6cm and that was soooo much better! So my advice is to refuse internals for as long as possible unless you absolutely need one!

I was also shocked at how much my stitches hurt - I had an episiotomy and could barely walk for days afterwards.

The biggest shock however, was how HIGH I felt after DD was born - you've gotta love those crazy hormones! I felt like I could go clubbing!

Heidster I used the contraction breathing for everything even vaguely painful, for about 6 months after having the baby! lol

The hypno/breathing stuff is incredibly useful for pretty much any pain I find. When I tore my knee up, I started using it almost immediately - really helped me to get a grip and not panic on the mountain.

herethere.... overdue or back to back don't automatically mean intervention

ds1 was still the wrong way round when he came out and it wasn't worse than my other births.... in fact he and ds2 were far easier than dd for the simple fact that i wasn't bloody petrified!

shocking - that I had actually managed to grow this wonderful beautiful human being and that she was real!!!!!

That and how much I was looking forward to the gas and air with DD2