Unassisted Accidental Homebirth... Lets share amazing labour/birth videos we've seen.

[newmomma]

Awesome!!!

Thought it might be nice to share videos of inspiring/amazing births we've been watching (come on we're all doing it!).

Good ones!!

This isn't me obviously

Chellesgirl I am a hypnobirthing hippy freak and I have to say if your bedside manner is anything even close to your posting manner, I wouldn't want you anywhere near me in labour (or before).

How old are you? How many births have you attended? How many babies have you had?

You are coming across as really really arrogant, women in labour need to trust their care givers, if you are as gungho and as opinionated as you are here, I doubt you will inspire that sort of trust.

And the arguing goes on, Im entitled to my opinion and im entitled to run a birthing centre the way in which women who want to achieve natural births would want me to, Im allowed to try and help the rate of CS's fall and that I will try my hardest. I honestly couldnt care less that you want to make me feel like its not possible...your minds have been cluoded by the fact medicince is looked at as such a 'safe' approach.

just got back in, so going ot read fully now, from where i posted this morning, but this caught my eye

"If a woman has physchological 'issues' she should either be offered councilling before she gets preg or while preg or not be having a baby just yet. just cause your 'scared' of labor does not entitle you to have a elcs."

how dare you!

i take it you have never been unlucky enough to have any psychological issuerelated to birth?

i truly, truly hope that you never , ever speak like that to a woman in real life.

i am stunned and ,frankyl, appalled , taht your ethos of hypnobirthing has clouded you to the point you cannot empathise with a woman with severe psycholigical issues

I have volunteered for the BTA for almost 3 years now, and attitudes such as yours actually make owmen feel worse.

so , women with birth trauma should not get pregnant or elecet for c.s?

you truly need to do some reflective work , you r views are seriously skewed and your narrow attitude will hinder you as a caregiver

part of supporting women in labour is remaining impartial and non judgemental of their choices

your posts are full of judgement, and that is really, reaelly sad

agree vanity c.s are a rarity.

and tend to be the arena of the rich and/or famous

i can say with confidence all teh women i have encountered, supported , prepared for birth, not a single one has eleceted for a c.s becasue they 'are too posh to push'

many have elected c.s due to previous birth trauma which led to PTSD or tokophobia

i've had clients whove nearly died or have had v v poorly babies due to labour taking a turn for hte worst

they opted for el. c.s under spinal ,so they avoided the risk of another crash c.s under g.a

and i for one am utterly delighted they had that choice.

I'd missed that bit.

I'm

yes I have actually Lulu, i suffered pND, reactional disorder and anxiety after dd was born. I would not attempt to get preg again while having PND or others. The appropriate way with dealing with this would be to get councilling/therapy/and maybe drugs if needed to combat the depression - not go ahead and have another baby thinking the worst and putting undue stress on me or the baby.

I think starting with the cause of the problem and dealing with it before attempting to add extra illness/stress is the right way.

You can be appalled fine, but thats probably why so many women suffer from anxiety, PnD and other pshcological issues when expriencing birth on the NHS.

I've been pondering this gem while doing the school run..

"You dont get what you want in life, cause you dont see it nor believe its in reach -shame cause its a beautiful thing when you achieve what you want"

what does that mean chelle ?

I didn't get the births I would have liked because I didn't try hard enough ?

nothing wrong with a bit of healthy debate, but i think people should try to refrain from personal digs. this is a loaded topic so is bound to stir emotions, but lets keep it clean ladies.

also, forgot to say... those birthing videos are amazing! i didn't seek out this sort of thing with 1st preg and kind of wish i did. now am really really up for a natural water birth with DS2 - perhaps not unassisted though, that would be a bit scary!

oh yeah, and ive absolutely LOVED reading your stories about accidental unassisted births at home - all those shell-shocked dh's and everything! thanks so much for sharing them - makes the prospect seem much less scary should it ever arise!

wow ! you have had a really difficult time, yet feel it is ok to spout facile rubbish like this.

i find it really , really sad.

interestingly, a traumatic birth and PND led me to doing what I do now

I am very pro normal birth, I am also very pro informed choice

i just can't imagine every thinking about pregnancy and birth in such black and white terms

if you're depressed or traumatised, get counselling..ok, what if you're 38 and time is running out? what if there is a 2 year wait for specialised counselling? what if you cant afford to go private for counselling? should you give up on having a baby, or get pregnant and elect for a c.s if taht is what will help you thorugh pregnancy?

i know what i'd choose.

in an ideal NHS world, I'd love to see one woman, one midwife, continuity of care, delivery suties that are like home from home rooms, birth pools in every room, lovely pullout beds so partners can rest too, dimmable lights, cold and hot drink facilities in each labour room and so on

until that happens, i'll do my best to support women within the constraints of the NHS

or discuss a home birth

we are so hot on choice for women, as long as that choice is for a natural, homebirth

if that choice is for a c.s , we get arsey about it

and i am sure i have been guilty of that in the past

i want every woman who gives birth to look back on her experience and smile, and know it was the right thing for her, be it a home water birth or a c.section

Lulu, I have a constant smile on my lower abdomen to remind me! Can't say the birth was anything to smile about frankly- best of a bad job really- but I look at my baby and just laugh. She is so lovely and it was so worth everything.

I don't know if I'd feel the same about her birth if it hadn't taken 6 years to get her. I think I may have confronted a fair few demons in those years and put some things to rest.

I still would have liked, just once have, to one accidentally at home alone though...

Chelles, I suggest that if you're going to be the calm, supportive midwife you intend to be, as well as taking on board what people have said to you here, educate yourself about cs to a point where you don't recoil from it in horror and fear and refer to it the way you do.

Because if you run any kind of birthing centre, you will quickly encounter a woman who intended the type of birth that you describe but ended up with a frightening labour and a need for fast medical intervention. Your job, in that scenario is to remain the supportive person you want to be, to offer the frightened labouring woman comfort, knowledge and your ongoing understanding. Refusing to look at a cs birth, labelling it with negative terms etc, does not prepare you to support a woman who finds themselves presented with a cs. By all means promote and encourage natural delivery, support of women and a change in attitude, but try and see that change in yourself first. What will make you a good midwife is your ability to separate opinion from fact. You keep saying you are entitled to your opinion, well yes you are, but when presented with facts, you must respond with facts.

You must learn not to refer to cs the way you do or God help you, you will end up doing more harm than good. I know this is not what you want.

Try and listen to what people are saying to you.

That original video is lovely. Makes it look so serene and easy

Chellesgirl, sorry to have to say, but you have that classic 'trainee midwife/antenatal teacher/doula' attitude towards birth that is totally unrealistic and puts the process above the woman. You are entering a profession that is supposed to be about what is best for women you look after and the babies they deliver - not about what your personal choices or opinions.

Lulu, as always, puts it far more eloquently than I could.

"what if you're 38 and time is running out? what if there is a 2 year wait for specialised counselling? what if you cant afford to go private for counselling? should you give up on having a baby, or get pregnant and elect for a c.s if taht is what will help you thorugh pregnancy?"

Theres not a wait like that for specialised councilling and you should know that. If you have to wait two years to get therapy then the NHS is def not a good place to go to for help. Who said that the 'trauma' this 38yr old has will go away just cause she opted for a cs? she still has to go through the 8/9 months of pregnancy without help right???
The cs could possibly then send her into a deeper depressive state with all the drugs going through her body, the recovery and maybe even an inability to bond. You cant put your reasons on a 38yr old woman.

I admire you lulu, for being able to go along with the NHS's procedures and policies, I really do, I think most of them are un needed and hospitals lack empathy and all the above you stated - in some hospitals stats are more important than the wellbeing of the patient. That is why im choosing to do what I feel is right over in the USVI...to be able to give mums and thier families that comfortable room, with a sofa and tea and buscuits and food, a comfortable bed with music and right lighting, a pool in each room and a seperate shower/bath for each room. just cause I aspire to do what the NHS cant be bothered to spend the money on, does not make me a bad person.

i know what you mean, duchesse.

DD is my last, and i would have dearly loved another, to have the birth experience one more time !

i applaud chellesgirl for her enthusiasm and her strong beliefs. but with brith, you have to prepare for the unexpected. you have to think about the what ifs. and be able to react without anyone coming through hurt/upset/feeling a failure at the end of it

i think you need to look at how you talk to /communicate iwth people if you are feeling aggrieved that we are not getting your point ,and you need to akcnowledge your posts have hurt people's feelings

as a caregiver, you have to be able to reflect and i for one, come away from every birth/interaction/support session etc thinkgin, 'i could have said that better/differently/more compassioanately'

the day we think we know it all, we're screwed

you have to learn from it every single day

your manner has upset people, before you leave to set up your hypnobirth centre, you are going to be intereacting with a lot of women via the NHS, you ened to thikn about supporting them without upset, and putting your views/judgements in second place

And when the sofa and tea and biscuits and food and comfortable bed and music and lighting and pool and shower still don't stop a woman needing an em cs, will you wash your hands of her? Hand her over, dismiss it as medical procedure? Or could you make all the difference for that woman? Still be her voice? Still recognise the use of hypnobirthing and skin to skin and calm voices etc as part of a necessary procedure. Or will you still stick your fingers in your ears, turn away and abandon a woman whose birthing experience ultimately rested upon chance because eeeeewwwww it's scary and unnatural and I don't want to look at it?

bloody hell, it is like banging my head against the wall!!

the hypothetical 38 year old i mention is to try and get across the fact it is not as simple
as ' do this and you'll be fine'

there is a wait for psych services. maybe not years, but certainly months

the point you are spectactularly missing is that it is not as simple as you are portraying

in an ideal world, it should be as simple , but it isn't

a 38 year old or even a 25 year old who ends up with a crash section under g.a is entitled to get pregnant when she wants, when it is right for her and request a c.s if that is the right choice for her

i dont think you are a bad person at all, i thikn it is amazing you are aspiring to do this and believe it or not, i hope it wokrs out as well as you hope

i thikn as a practitioner of midwifery, you have to accept informed choice can mean a woman makeing a decision you don't like

and it does not make her a bad person either

i for one would be shit scared of practicing anywhere as litigious as the uSA

I am not scared of blood and being cut open...I think about the outcome of my baby and I if it were to happen and the fact its 4 times more dangerous.

"you will quickly encounter a woman who intended the type of birth that you describe but ended up with a frightening labour and a need for fast medical intervention." and that would not scare me... because she would be passed over to the best possible hands to deal with it and look after her and her baby. People still insist on the fact they think I am against cs that are needed...FGS I am not!!!! get it into your heads that I am all for life saving intervention. Not unessessary intervention just cause the mother feels its convenient.

chelle, you say

"Not unessessary intervention just cause the mother feels its convenient. "

no-one is keen on that

there is a difference between elective c.s to fit in with a spouse's working schedule or to make sure you can have your hair done

and one of convenince, in that it will save the mother 9 months of stress of worryinga botu another emergecny section or crash section

or more damage to her pelvic floor

i spent my second pregnancy so anxious i would throw up before consultant's appointments

i had a VBAC and it was amazing, many women in my shoes would have opted for c.s to take that level of stress about the birth away.

that might be convenience to you, but not in my eyes

i do agree the c.s rate is too hight, but brigning it down is not about offering either a MLU with water/tens/gas or a CLU with CFM and opiates and epid.

there are a million shades of grey in the middle that need to be accounted for

Who are all these women who have c-sections for convenience?@Chelles. I have never met one.

Im not shit scared of practising in the USA caus thats not where I will be. The United states virgin islands is an american county that is owned by america but has very much its own governance. I am not scared of practicing one bit over there.

I take what you say lulu...honestly I really do and I undertstand. I will be there 100% for my mothers and families after needing a crash cs...I dont get where you think I wouldnt show im not scared of others experiences..ive watched people get stabbed, ive attended injuries where I have had to sustain a temple artery bleed for an hour before ambulance got there...In no way will my opinion affect the mother that will need a emcs.

"and one of convenince, in that it will save the mother 9 months of stress of worryinga botu another emergecny section or crash section" lulu - angain she has an obstetric need to elect for a cs.

I didn't say that I thought you were against necessary intervention. I'll explain again. Take somebody who has planned the birth you describe. I assume from all your reading that you know women do better with a known face and continuity of care. So a woman gets to know you, trusts you, wants you there, has a labour that you're there for, relies on you, leans on you, knows you're supporting her. And then something happens and you hand her over to somebody who doesn't know her, is only going to perform a procedure, not remember her name. What you are doing is choosing to only support birth as long as it 'fits'. That's not holistic, that's not supporting the woman, that's not fighting her corner. You want to make a difference but by giving what you think a woman should want/need but if you listen to a woman who has been there, that knows birth trauma, you will know that your value judgemnts are what leave the lasting effects.

I agree with you on several points, but your blind pursuing of the perfect birth leaves room only for women who can achieve that. When I choose a woman to support me through labour, I will choose one that supports me throughout, not with a set of conditions attached.

It isn't so much what you are saying but the way that you are saying it Chellesgirl if you are this vocal in real life then I think you are going to scare away the very clientèle you hope to attract.

The hypnobirthing practitioner I saw was an ex-midwife with many years of experience, 4 children of her own and of a gentle non-judgemental manner.

She inspired confidence and calm, you are getting people's backs up even just discussing things - do you really think you can hide this sort of judgemental attitude from labouring women?