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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

362 replies

BigGLittleG · 30/01/2010 16:39

The subject pretty much sums it up!

OP posts:
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IsThatTheTime · 02/02/2010 22:38

And one for the other halves - if your missus goes into labour on a hot sunny morning, it doesn't mean you'll be home by bedtime, so take a jumper if you don't want to be cold enough to spend the night in your missus' fluffy dressing gown.

PirateJelly · 02/02/2010 22:44

Pootletheflump I suffered from that too, nobody tells you that early (very painful) labour can go on for days and nobody gives a damm. I honestly thought that as soon as they are regular and and really painful it would be all systems go and pain relief but no. I read loads during pregnancy and I can honestly say I was never told that and I still feel really bad about it now.

Rolf · 02/02/2010 22:44
  1. you can say no to routine VEs, can tell a chatty midwife that you'd like things quiet, etc
  1. but if you get into negotiate/be firm mode, it will interfere with the birth hormones that help with labour and delivery,
  1. so make sure that your birth partner can do all of that talking for you, so you can focus on your labour.
backtolingle · 02/02/2010 22:49

That there is no award ceremony after the birth. You can go to NCT classes and learn how to decline an epidural but have you realised that no one will receive any certificate or prize for doing so?

That every birth that gets a baby out safely leaving a non-traumatised mother is a first class birth.

MrsChemist · 02/02/2010 23:18

1)That agreeing to have a student mw observe was a great idea. She had to stay with me and DH the whole time, so I never felt unattended to, and she was there to reassure DH as well.

2)Episiotomies may be scary, but they numb you before doing it (they did for me anyway) so DS didn't actually hurt coming out, which was awesome.

3)Go in with a birth plan. I didn't, thinking that I shouldn't set my heart on a particular plan in case it had to change. It just meant that they assumed I didn't mind being strapped constantly to the monitor (no epidural) and that I should give birth flat on my back, legs in stirrups. Took an hour and a half of pushing to get DS out. I was knackered.

TottWriter · 02/02/2010 23:28

1 That often, epidurals only work DOWN ONE SIDE. This means that you are incapacitated, lying on a bed, but still in f*ing agony. (Though at least I couldn't feel the crowning part.)

2 That most of the hospital midwives may be young enough to have not had children yet, and therefore will be utter shite at gettting your baby to latch on with you.

3 That the last thing you may want is your mother, sister and brother crowding around you in the hopsital for the following two days, while the hospital neglect to tell you that you are so anaemic it's just ridiculous, and will only give you iron tablets on the third day when they send you home after days of agonised staggering to the bathroom in a pathetic attempt to wipe yourself with a flannel as a shower is too much.

(and 4: Hospital food is the shits, and there isn't even very much of it. You will need outside supplied. Also, the 'creamed potato' as recommended by Lloyd Grossman is the worst thing on the menu. The cleaning staff are often more friendly than some of the midwives, too.)

Oh, and that if you shave your undercarriage, there is less chance of the stitches snagging on the hair down there. I'm going in prepared this time.

MarineIguana · 02/02/2010 23:33

I loved the hospital food! I was so bloody hungry it was just gorgeous - creamed potato, dried out fish, catfood-esque stew, soggy carrots the lot - every time they trundled towards me with the trolley I was practically biting their hands off. But yes you do need extra supplies especially if you're in for a few days after a CS - juice, fruit, chocolate and some kind of high energy flapjacks or biscuits.

Sleepdeprivedmama · 02/02/2010 23:53

1 that it might go on for days and days, involve all available types of pain relief and yet my memory of it, 4 months on, is very patchy.

2 that breastfeeding does not always happen as you are told it will, desperatly wanted to but there was nothing there and DD just did not get how to do it until we got home 5 days later.

3 that wards are awful, if you can get a room to yourself then move heaven and earth to do so!

But it is so worth it when you take your lovely baby home!

toolly · 03/02/2010 00:04

I don't know if it has been mentioned, but if you are on gas and air, you get incredibly thirsty, so you will drink a lot. If the baby is pressing on the bladder you can't urinate so get them to catheterize you asap. MAKE THEM.

Try to tail off your epidural at the end so you can feel when you have to push, otherwise you will be relying on the machine. Example, I was told I would be ready about 12 ish to push out DC3 so I didn't press the button at all for the last 1.5 hours so I was aware of when I was contracting and could push with it.

Also you may have your 'legs' by then, so you are not forced to push a baby out whilst flat on your back in stirrups. If you can, get upright. Gravity works much better than you pushing a baby out horizontally.

Be very specific about what you want your partner to do. I wanted mine to shut up and pass me drinks.

thesecondcoming · 03/02/2010 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverStuddedBlue · 03/02/2010 00:21

shouldn't have carbo loaded before the birth - projectile vomiting pasta with every contraction

bumpy country roads to get to hospital - agonising

the first time you wee after the birth -stiiiiiings

other than that it was fantastic, pain free and tranquil

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 03/02/2010 00:58

That it could be fun!

I've never heard anyone acknowledge that. It's scary and painful and hard bloody work, but if you believe in yourself and your body

(...and nothing goes wrong necessitating medical emergency, I'm not being all woo-woo here...)

and give yourself up to the experience, it's one hell of a ride. Nothing will ever be that intense. Those endorphins are something else.

I was very lucky, I had a midwife-ran hospital who basically left me alone, and alone is what I wanted so I could just be in my own head. And it was so fun.

Casmama · 03/02/2010 02:01

1)That an induction is not the end of the world and may only take twelve hours till fully dilated and that I could do it with just a tens machine despite baby being back to back.

2)That things could then go tits up and result in a kiellands forceps delivery(turning and pulling the baby)

3)A spinal will make you feel like someone removed your brain and replaced it with cotton wool leaving you unable to understand the simplest of instructions.

4)Pooing after an episotomy hurts and painkillers during and after labour lead to constipation so eat lots of fruit, drink loads and take as much latulose as the will give you - don't wait to find you are constipated - assume you are and take corrective measures.

and finally - sorry a bit carried away

5)GPs can be totally thick - when at your 6 week check up she tells you that yes your stitches had burst and will take a further 4 weeks to heal that she will still ask you how your sex life is and will actually look for an explanaition as to why you're not having any (and not fucking likely to any time soon)

jabberwocky · 03/02/2010 02:04
  1. that ds1 was breech

  2. that ds1 was breech

  3. that ds1 was breech

daisyj · 03/02/2010 06:56

Exactly what tortoiseonthehalfshell said. Of course this doesn't apply if you have a back to back labour or any other non-straightforward issues. But I never imagined I'd be looking forward to doing it again! I'm a total wuss with pain, but this amazing breathing came from nowhere, and the hormones did the rest (apart from a little bit of g&a).

Didn't know I'd get breathless and walk like a 90-year-old every time I tried to get from one end of the flat to the other for the first three days, though.

Kathyjelly · 03/02/2010 07:53

To ignore the midwife who says "nothing seems to be happening, why don't you pop into town and have dinner"

That gas and air rendered me unconscious so they took it away. TENS was a godsend for me.

That average time of labour is related to age. Teenagers can pop out a first baby and play tennis four hours later, 45yos take a day and a half. Draw a graph between the two and work it out.

Most of all - don't worry - you'll be fine

Flamesparrow · 03/02/2010 08:00

Oh yes, midwives do NOT know everything - they are fabulous people, but some bodies don't go quite according to the norm, so when I am in lots of pain and "nothing is happening", it isn't that I can't handle pain, it is that I will go from 0 to PUSH in a v short space of time!

DawnAS · 03/02/2010 08:08

I wish I had known that:-

I didn't HAVE to accept early induction because I had GD. It resulted in a 3 day labour, failed epidural, episiotomy and baby having to be resuscitated. Aswell as not being able to move around due to Glucose drip and sytocin drip...

The surgeon was only human and "forgot" to give me a local anaesthetic to stitch me up...

That you can be so traumatised that seeing your baby for the first time is a complete blur and you just want someone else to look after her

NOW however (and within a few hours after the birth) she is my world and I'm convinced is the most kissed baby ever!!

mammafran · 03/02/2010 08:26

1 that my baby was huge and wouldn't come out after 3 days of labouring and all the drugs going! I would have opted for a c-sec out right.

2 that breastfeeding can be very difficult and that I wouldn't get any help in the hospital and would end up putting my baby on formula.

3 that I wouldn't get any slep in the hospital and wouldn't enjoy my stay there at all.

porcamiseria · 03/02/2010 09:05

that its very common for them to lose the babys heartbeat, dont panic!

that being induced fucks up the birth plan big time!

that TENS do not even touch the sides!

porcamiseria · 03/02/2010 09:06

DAWN AS same here!!!!! nice

OffTheCoffee · 03/02/2010 09:15

You might be turned away from the delivery suite several times if they are full, even if you think you are about to give birth!

That if you end up having an emergency C section, there will suddenly be loads of people in scrubs buzzing about - where were they hiding?! It's normal for there to be so many people there and it doesn't mean there is something wrong.

Every midwife in the hospital will encourage you to breastfeed and spend loads of time helping you (sometimes almost bullying), but will all advise you to do something entirely different.

GColdtimer · 03/02/2010 09:26
  1. That finding something to focus on during contractions really, really helps (I counted the rungs in the old fashioned radiator along with my breathing. There were 16 rungs and I knew when I got to the end of the radiator the contraction would be over. I must have looked completely bonkers: rocking, deep breathing and staring at a radiator!)
  1. That I would worry more about the pain of the canula in my hand than the contractions
  1. That not all midwives will stay calm and tell you to pant. Some will just scream at you to PUUUUSSSSHHH (resulting in tearing).
PootleTheFlump · 03/02/2010 09:35

piratejelly - lol at your documentary hallucinations!! I thought it made me sound like a man, and kept telling everyone to listen - cue confused looks!

Maybe we should form a society to educate women as to the latent labour situation?!

PuddingPenguin · 03/02/2010 09:47
  1. That labour can last for FOUR DAYS!
  1. Epidurals wear off bloody quickly.

3a. Emergency C sections seem to be really slow paced for so called "emergencies".

3b. That you can tear (or more accurately be torn) even if you have a ECS if the initial suction cup/forceps attempts are ineptly done.

3c. THAT IT IS ALL WORTH IT!!!!