What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

That it's possible to be waaaay more dilated than the midwife thought and give birth whilst laid on your side with the anaeshetist right by your arse putting the epidural drugs into your spine whilst the head crowns . And then having to have DH quickly hold your top leg up so you can finish pushing baby out.

That I would know when I was in labour and that everyone else could go to hell.

Planned home births are a good thing but when they dont have a midwife available in the middle of the night you will have to go in to be assessed. Not knowing where to park / get in / find the ward while having huge contractions and having to walk MILES is not a good thing

They can run out of G & A at at home birth when your going into transition and everyone in the room will pay with their lives!

1. That when your waters beak, they can continue to leak for several hours - very messy on the way to hospital.
2. When you are having a emc, you can vomit due to them moving around down there - very difficult when you are lying flat on your back and cant' move"
3. After recieving epidural you can shake uncontrollably for ages afterwards.

But when you finally see your darling baby it's all worthwhile!

Sorry - just remembered it was meant to be 3 things.

1. Wish I had tried to sleep more after the birth. LO slept lots and I should have attempted to sleep too but was too busy staring intently at him to make sure he was breathing.

1. That they just come at you with big scissors (or maybe it is better I didnt know that)

1. Wish I had known just how amazing relief the epidural would have been but I was too terrified to get one until it was given in an emergency CS situation.

Everyone is so different tho. My best mate - a total hypochondriac - went into labour with DS1, fled directly to the hospital at the sign of first contraction, crawled up the stairs to maternity ward and was too late for G&A as it was time to push! Her LO was born 2 hrs later and they got home the next day. She had no bruising or even a graze. Just a bit inflamed n tender. So, I guess she was lucky she never read any of the stuff in this thread or she would prob have been sh!ttin it!

That you might start bleeding when your waters go and not stop.

That you know yourself and no-one else does and maybe you won't follow 'the rules'.

That you CAN have an epidural top-up just before pushing and still get the baby out without help and no stitches because this time (unlike previous scary undrugged labour) you weren't in a panic and could easily pant at the right time. And you can have an even better rush of euphoria afterwards because there's no trauma. And so when the consultant said 'You could have another top-up or you could USE the pain for pushing' it was the right call to say 'Sod that, give me a top-up now'.

Even if this contradicts what they told me in NCT class.

Victoriascrumptious - Big hugs, hope your OK? I to understand the pain/disappointment of having a c/section I didn't want. I tortured myself so badly about it I ended up with PND, CAT me if you want to chat??

xxx

Iron tablets, black poo, birthing pool, floating black poo, sieve!

That you could have quite bad tears with possible bowel incontinence.

Well on a lighter note...

1. That gas and air can make you feel completely off your head and talk absolute gibberish. I honestly thought I was in documentary about childbirth and I could actually hear the narrotor comenting on everything. DP couldn't understand why I kept saying 'I wish they'd shut the hell up and film some other women' (Turns out I was in earshot of the nurses station telephone and that's what I kept hearing )

2.That the gas and air is so good, I'd go through labour again just for another puff of that bad boy Seriously I even asked dp to get me some for christmas and decided that would be my main reason for trying a VBAC next time

1. That when you have laboured all day and are ready to go the hospital, if the baby's head is very low it will make it impossible to walk down the stairs. You will have to reverse down on your hands and knees.

1. You should have not let the kind midwife give you pethidine when you arrive at the hospital to find you are fully dilated. (Even though you are screaming.) It will take you a further 3 hours to push out the baby as your contractions will stop. Threats of sytocinin finally did the trick.

1. Had you not had the pethidine you wouldn't have had the bad tear you then got, three days later (no I'm not kidding). Nasty haematoma probably.

Good luck BigGlittleG it is worth it.

1. Going for a poo afterwards is really scary for weeks.

1. The anti sickness injection is like being punched really hard in your thigh, and in the deep throes of labour makes you go OWWWWWW!!

1. The after pains after my 2nd DC were worse than most of the labour, and there was no intervals in between, like labour, it was just one continuous long hellish pain.

• getting pain relief was so easy. They keep offering me things.

• I hated gas & air. Wasn't able to speak for a while because of it. DH loved it, though! It made him laugh (when I wasn't looking, of course!)

• you might end up in a private room for free if you scream too much, while the delivery suite is completely full!!!

• you might end up in the high dependency unit when the delivery suite is still full and you are desperate for an epidural. Don't ask why you are there. Enjoy the spacious room

• epidural is one of the best inventions ever!

• epidural is not evil and you still can push your baby out without needing stitches!

• most of the mws or nurses or doctors won't even check you notes, so don't worry about a birth plan too much (but write one just in case!)

ooops, sorry did I write too much? I have more, actually

1. When your bump does a massive ripple 2 days before going into labour, the baby has turned to be posterior - which means a long slog through 1st stage (but can be done on gas and air - ignorance was bliss in this case!)
2. That I would cry the entire way through labour and it would hurt more than I could have imagined, but stopped immediately after DD arrived
3. That when my 2/3 degree tear was being stiched up, gas and air just didn't cut it and I should have asked for more painrelief - was worse than labour!

1. That you can have days of painful very frequent contractions for days before being deemed "in labour" - truly had no idea that it could all go on so long.

1. That the urge to push would be so convulsive and overwhelming.

1. That the birth pool/warm water could be sooooo good and pain-relieving. Cannot imagine giving birth without it now.

Sneaky extra ones:

1. That giving birth to DD at home, with my DH, DM & fab midwives would be the best experience of my life so far, and that despite making a complete tit of myself and shouting A LOT and having done days without sleep I would feel on top of the world & like I was the only person who had ever given birth ever!

1. I was truly surprised at not having an immediate rush of love for DD and for being more preoccupied with my own exhaustion and sore bits etc than her wonderfulness. It's all come along now and I bore all and sundry with my gushyness

To stand up for my rights and not be treated like a child when having my first. I was 21 but they midwife was treating me like a child..trying so hard to get me to have pain relief and i was determined i didnt want drugs, kept saying you have a long way to go you might change your mind well i didnt and i wish id have spoken up.
That a home birth would be so relaxed and wonderful..id have done it with all four had i have known.
To fill up on food before labour get established..was starving with my first..i learnt with the rest..i even went maccy d's with my third..and was still running around the house in labour doing my washing and playing on a ps1.

That no one comes in and gives you a medal if you do it without pain releif.

That having an epidural stopped me tearing as it was a slow transition.

That you have to pack a birth bag and a dhubby bag to stop them getting in the way.. pot noodles, bourbons and lad mags disgusting but keeps them occupied during the long.. long labours

1. That I needed to close my eyes and hum for goodness sake to get through contractions

1. The the wall clock right in front of me in the labour room really really irritated me - WTF??

1. That DH wanting to hold my hand or rub my back was an annoying distraction

Only 3?

1. That tearing and stitches is worse than the labour itself (though the labour is horrible, when it's over it's over)

2. That you can control how much you tear if you listen to the midwife when the baby is crowning (if you can hear her over the noise you are making)

3. That I could do it without pain relief apart from TENS, so that when the midwife arrived to my second home birth without gas and air I wouldn't have started shouting "I can't do it, I can't do it"

1. Giving birth feels like shitting a melon. A melon covered in flames. Oh, and if you feel like you really need to poo? You don't. Its a baby, love.

2. That the idea of an epidural is sometimes enough to allow your body to relax and go from 6cm to fully dilated in the space of minutes. And of course DP will be out of the room.

3. That you really do not give a damn about anything at the end, just get the bloody thing OUT OF ME. Yes, there is a room of people looking at my privates, and I really could not care less.

That it's possible to just not get anywhere with it. I didn't know how it would go but I didn't think it would just go nowhere (while still contracting like a bastard for 24 hours!)

That a CS isn't a let-down or failure or necessarily traumatic - it can be a fantastic relief and very positive.

That there is no limit to the dozens of strangers who may troop in and out to have a look up your fanny.

That it's not the labour and child birth that are the hardest bit ( and i had a fecking nasty labour and child birthing experience), it's the months of sleep deprivation, feelings of uselessness and generally feeling like 5 different kinds of shite for months afterwards that would worry me.

1. That labour can appear like back pain at first. Had I known this I wouldn't have been in denial when contractions were coming every 2 minutes and I was refusing to speak to the m/w on the phone! It was a very close thing!

1. That gas and air is a beautiful beautiful thing but that they take it off you at the moment you truly truly need it the most cos apparently you have to puff out really fast to get the baby out!

1. Not sure which pain was worst, the burn at the moment the head crowned (OMG) or the first pee 48 hours later as I was too scared to go after the birth due to my 2nd degree tear!

BUT all totally worth it. Surely the best thing in the world is being a mum! For a long time I didn't believe what everyone says about how the memory of the pain fades and you don't really remember it. But 5 months later I've nearly recovered from the shock!

1. That, even though it's your first, you can still go into labour the day after you've finished work 'to enjoy at least two weeks of biscuit eating and DVD watching' - and that by the time everyone reads your 'I'm off' email they've already read the birth announcement text.

2. contrary to what you heard in ante natal classes, sometimes there is No Urge to push at all and you have to find Herculean strength from somewhere unknown in order to push your baby out because your body is not necessarily going to do it for you.

3. that after depleting the reserves of strength after pushing for 2.5 hours, the 'managed' third stage doesn't want to manage itself either and you will need to call upon various gods in order to spend another 30 mins pushing out the goddamn placenta.

I know i know...
4) that you might feel like you never ever want to do it again. But actually you forget that feeling because you made a little person and that's amazing.

1. In accordance with all your fears, yes, you probably will poo but you seriously, SERIOUSLY will not give a damn.

2. The walk along the hospital corridor when you are finally there to give birth is the longest and most painful walk EVER and seems to go on for at least eighteen miles.

3. Your dignity is damned. Don't fight it. You may poo, smell, leak, curse and boo like a child but there's not really a great deal you can do about it.

But 4th - all of the above are totally irrelevant once that beautiful little sod drops into your life.

Oh and 4 - you WILL poo, you will be pretty sure you pooed, but your partner won't tell you you did because you asked him beforehand not to, but when you ask him afterwards you can just TELL from the way he denies it that you did a MASSIVE poo

I love your analogy ErikaMaye, but I was thinking it was a bit more like a flaming pineapple, a really big one!