What are the three things you wish you had known before going into labour?

[BigGLittleG]

The subject pretty much sums it up!

that it was possible to have a pretty relaxed drug free seemingly complication free birth[not forceps or cuts etc], and end up with serious birth injuries
really wish i had know things such as 4th degree tears and having to have a repair operation was possible

1. Labouring in water is fab and wish id had a water birth first time

1. hospital food really is dire

1. what an episiotomy was ...mw: "were going to do an extended episiotomy"

me: "jolly good whatever it takes" the mw then approached with a massive pair of scissors and i naively thought it was to open some medical supplies not my fanjo!!! 2nd time i was very aware what it was and what i didnt want!

OMG Starexpat!!!!!

1. Bouncing around on a birthing ball, watching TV whilst in early labour is fun and helps make early contractions less painful.

1. Tens machines can be great, if used from early on and then if you can synchronise with gas and air in mid-labour, when I'd whack tens machine right up at beginning of contraction, then take long swigs of G and A and ride the storm - MW complimented me on best use of Tens and G and A together she'd ever seen!

1. A poo just before baby crowns may feel like the baby itself coming out! With DC3 I turned round to see the 'baby' and even asked what sex it was DH nearly wet himself laughing and nearly missed DD when she actually did emerge!

that things don't always go to plan so (don't expect to) but be prepared for the possibilty of a 5 day hospital admission.

that G&A doesn't work on everyone - it did nothing helpful for me

that you might start imagining things after 24hours of labour and having conversations that only you understand!

1. That hospital food tastes great and the only problem is there isn't enough of it, and it's a long, long wait from midnight until breakfast when you could dispose of a spit-roasted pig if only you had a fork, and a pig (if you haven't eaten since 12 hours prior to an induction and then spent another day without food while labouring).
2. That some nurses are lovely and make you feel like a human.
3. That it is possible to have 5 episiotomies and never feel a thing during or after.
4. That you can ask the doctor to wait until a contraction has passed before conducting an internal exam, and that you can ask them to go and get someone with small hands to do same exam.

Haven't read them all so sorry if I'm repeating some.

1. If your DH is dressed in scrubs for and em-cs, he will insist on having his photo taken and strutting round like a doctor in ER

1. You can't eat if you're being induced, have a good meal beforehand

1. A combination of an epidural and being prepped for a c-section makes you shake uncontrollably, that really threw and upset me, and made me too scared to hold DD once she was born via ventouse

Starexpat, that is just awful. You poor woman.

...that the drugs (gas and air and pethidine for me) can make you tell the midwives all your secrets, and your DPs
...that you might end up with a colostomy bag - which is actually quite handy as it means you don't have to get up to go to the toilet after giving birth
...to eat plenty early on - I was so hungry and knackered and staving after a day of it - you need the energy to keep going, they don't call it labour for nothing!

1/ That you might bleed with every contraction from quite early on. I had literally no idea that it could get so gory so early - I had assumed that the bloody bit happened at delivery.

2/ That (if you have a longish labour) you are not actually examined that often. So when you're fondly imagining that you must have gone a good seven centimetres in the three hours since they last stuck their hand up your fanjo (because how could you not have? It's been hours for crying out loud), be prepared for them to say, "Hmmm. About three and a half centimetres."

3/ That knowing how dilated you are is actually quite demoralising (again, in a long labour). You are given all these analogies about running marathons and being at the halfway mark and blah blah blah, but in reality you can be just about coping until someone sees fit to tell you that your cervix is still practically sewn shut. At which point you think, "fuck this, give me the epidural."

1. That even if you have a lovely problem-free pregnancy and a fairly uncomplicated delivery your baby might still have to spend 2 weeks in SCBU

1. That you don't need to worry about 'trying' to push as it is literally impossible not to. It takes over. And you might get an unplanned epidural just to stop you pushing!!

1. That said epidural is wonderful for stopping you pushing too early but makes it fucking difficult near the end when you've got no energy left and don't know when to push!!

Oh yeah and

1. If you feel gushing while laying in bed after the birth (epidural) you are not haemorraging (sp) but wetting the bed.

starexpat that is disgusting and intrusive n sounds like bordering on assault. How awful. I am so sorry for you.

That the best laid plans don't always turn out!

Birth plan .... waste of time they didn't even read it!

After unplanned c-section if you DON'T want morphine make sure you tell them, they gave me a morphine thingy up my bum, didn't ask me and I was horrendously sick and completely out of it for hours, made me so and If only they had read my birth plan?

Can I have four please ......??

Start with the Lanisoh on your nips before you start breastfeeding, oh the pain still makes my toes curl thinking about it!!!

Good luck to all the mums to be that read this!!!

1.Just because painful contractions have started doesn't always mean you'll go into established labour that day, or the next day or the next, or the next

2.If you're not in 'established' labour on arrival at the maternity wing, don't expect any pain relief other than paracetomol (grr)It doesn't matter that you're crying in pain and haven't slept for 3 nights. (This still makes me so angry, if I'd gone to casualty in that much pain for something else, I'm sure as hell they wouldn't have sent me home to suffer )

3.That the delivery midwifes are lovely, but the night staff on the ward afterwards are complete bitches. (many people I've talked to have agreed with this, and it''s not always the same hospital )

starexpat

1. That whatever you read here your experience will be different - this to all our first-timers

1. That it is by far the most exciting thing I have ever done (and that includes parachuting and rock climbing )

1. That you might be able to get in the bath in early labour, but not necessarily out without the help of a crane...

Felt the need to lighten the tone of the thread, but also for starexpat - what a horrible experience!

Having heard how many women are sent home when they go into hospital and they are only 2cm dilated, I decided to wait until it was excruciating contractions before I went in cos I didn't want to be in there longer than I had to. Ended up on the floor unable to move, OH had to scoop me up (well... not so much scoop as forklift ) and when I got to maternity ward the nurses at the desk were sniggering that I was in such a state on arrival and how would I cope with established labour... WELL, I was 10cm dilated when the midwife took me into the first room and she had to give me something to "slow down labour" AAAAARRRRGGHHH! Then spent 8 hours pushing, took fever, ended up on antibiotic drip, baby in distress, prepped for emergengy CS then at last minute LO moved back into place and was forceped out.

Yes, I wondered where they were heading with the big scissors too but was already prepped for CS so had no feeling apart from strange "flubbbery" effect when they pulled LO out with the forceps.

I am actually glad I didn't know it could go down like it did. Ended up in hospital for 3 days more on antibiotics cos of GBS and the fever.

Main thing I remember now is how rude some of the auxilliary nurses were, one of them went through my overnight bag when I was still unable to walk cos of epidural and I was asking her to leave my stuff until I could walk cos I wouldnt be able to have a shower until then anyway! She just went ahead and rifled through my bag "I'll just get you some clothes out.... You wont be needing this.... or this... or this.... You'll have to get someone to take this stuff away cos it is against health and safety to have this stuff just lying around in our way. We have a job to do here you know..." etc etc.

Also, I didn't know how painful it would be AFTER you get home and the episiotomy stitches catch in your maternity pads AND I didn't realise you can be left completely incontinent following forceps delivery. It all got better though. Still have an issue if I need to sneeze on the way to do a pee pee...

On the whole, you do tend to forget the details initially when you see your LO and then it kind of fades to the point where you start getting broody again and think "It cant be as bad the next time"!!!

OMG, what a thread. If I was pregnant with my first DC, would be running for the hills!

1. Make a birth plan by all means, but remain open to it not going entirely as you may have hoped..

2. That even after a csection, you will get lochia...

3. Listen to the professionals in the hospital...it may be possible that they know more than what you have managed to glean from mnet.

ohhh, and one more

4. You can have a hideous reaction to spinal - speak up and tell the anaethetist as soon as you start to feel unwell...they do have the most wonderful drugs...

1. That you might burst all the blood vessels in your eyes and face and look like something out of nightmare on elm street....photos will prove this many years after your face isn't red....

2.When you ask your DP to get you some ice chips as you aren't allowed to drink he may, just may think you mean for him to throw them all over you during a contraction.....don't know why he would think this BUT he just might....

1. That your baby may open her eyes look directly at you and smile....i kid you not...amazing