How do i get a c-section?

[singleteenagemum]

I know this probably sounds really stupid, but i really want a caesarean, how do i go about getting an elective one?
What's the process for it all? am i just plain stupid wanting one?
HELP!!

Not read all these but I am sure the same arguements for and against vaginal/section births have come up. I have had one of each (!), first was an emergency section, second was a vaginal birth, albeit aided by a vontouse and epiostomy (sp?).

Recovered well after both, bit easier with the vaginal, up and around quicker and much easier to pick up my toddler etc. But the section was not the doom and gloom 'you can't move for months' guff I was told.

stm - I think you may be like me and think that you can't 'do' childbirth, but your body may surprise you. I was petrified of giving birth and I have done it twice and believe me, I am the first to shout for the drugs.

A wise midwife said to me after my section that there is no such thing as a 'normal' birth, and that a sucessful one is a healthy and happy mum and baby, no matter how it enters the world.

ALOHA _ how dare you criticise my skills as a midwife i gave stm suggestions on where to find information, you turned the whole thing into a fiasco and now you have the nerve to personally attack me. perhaps you should seek counselling as you are obviously a very angry woman, you were almost trying to force stm into having a section. she asked for advice, you did not give that whereas i and several others did.
i am a very good midwife who knows her limitations, you obviously do not know your limitations and perhaps should consdier what you say more carefully, or else one day your run away toungue may get you into trouble!

Stm - i am sorry that this happened on your thread and i do hope that you have gained some knowledge of the questions that you asked and that mumsnet have given you enough suggestions as to where to go for help.

Blimey - bit of a punch up going on here. I do think it's important to remember that everyone's experience of birth and pg is different. Some people bloom when pg and some people struggle through each and every day. Similarly with birth some women have a good experience and can give birth in a relatively straightforward manner (oh, to be one of those people..!) Others however have a really really hard time and end up in a mess both physically and mentally. No one really knows what another woman's experience of pg, birth or recovery is really like. We can only judge from our own experiences. Personally, my own experience was pants and I have been advised to have a section this time around. However much I would love to give birth vaginally I have to put my dbs welfare first so I will accept the consultant's advice and I will not be made to feel guilty about that. It's important to remember that a decision to have a section isn't taken lightly and I do think it's wrong to criticise those who have sections - after all if a woman has her consultant's blessing/advice then what business is it of anyone else?

The only person who knows and understands your own situation stm is you - no one else. Good luck with whatever you and your consultant decide.

Piglit - agree with you 100%, but it is worrying when a MIDWIFE states that:

(1) only rich women should have choices in birth because they can afford to go private! and

(2) is not even aware of the research in the Lancet and BMJ about female obstricians birth choices and calls it an urban myth!

Have to say I would prefer a more open-minded and knowledgeble midwife..........................

can we stop it with the personal insults please

it might be the time to remember the mumsnet philosophy

many thanks

Agree.

I repeat: It doesn't matter how it gets out, if mum and baby are happy.

Poor STM - bet she wishes she never asked now!

Very sad to revisit this thread and realise that people's personal anger has overtaken the advice that was asked for by STM. (who sadly seems to have given up posting)
She asked for advice and everyone should state their knowledge and opinions because she needs to be armed with as much info as poss to make HER OWN decision.
It is clearly an emotive subject but if you feel so strongly that you have to resort to personal insults then perhaps this is the wrong forum for you.

I have had two birth experiences and both were fairly 'traumatic' you could say. The first was an emergency c/s, the second a vaginal delivery but also an emergency situation as baby heartrate had dropped dramatically. He was delivered with forceps and I was left with a 3rd degree tear. All of this with no pain relief as they could not get an epidural in in time!!!
Both had advantages and disavantages, both took time to recover from and actually the 3rd degree tear took a lot longer to heal than the c/s, but this could be because you are sitting on it and stretching it more when you walk.
All I would say is that when you are pregnant you become very focussed on the birth. Actually the birth is just the gateway to a LIFETIME with your wonderful child. Thoughts of the birth soon fade and get replaced with magical daily events with your little ones. Neither of my births went anything like I would have planned, but I do have two wonderful, healthy children and I have placed the births firmly in the past.
From some of the comments here it seems it is hard for women who have had 'good' or 'bad' experiences to relate to one another. It is a shame though that some mothers seem to be haunted by past birth experiences.

Errrrrrrr, pointing out statement of fact is not a personal insult.

Exactly my point homemama - i think that the range of answers that stm received has been a wide and varied one and that she will have plenty of information to formulate her own questions.
in hindsight i realise that i shouldn't have got involved with the questoning that took place but as it was aimed at myself i felt that i should answer alohas comments as to leave things unsaid would imply that she was correct. i made no personal comments, up until the point when aloha questioned my ability as a midwife and i have asked her to justify herself as those kind os insults are just as unacceptable here on mumsnet as they would be in real life.

I wasn't specifically referring to you GO. However, I do believe it is unnecessary for you to suggest that Vicki is a bad MW.
STM asked for help. People should try to stick to addressing their posts towards her.
I truly hope that the contents of this thread haven't made her more anxious.

STM, I think it's perfectly normal to feel worried and imagine you won't cope. I felt like that with my second child as I'd had a hard time the first time (although great drugs made it much worse for my DH than for me!). Round about full term with my second child I began to worry that I would have to be induced again (as I was with no 1) and the same traumatic time would follow. I started to think about an elective c-section, we talked it through with the consultant and he strongly advised against it but promised that I would have a c-section if it all went pear-shaped again (basically DS1 had to be pulled out with ventouse and forceps and it was all a bit dramatic). However I'm so glad I didn't, I was induced again but labour was much shorter and the birth was textbook.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that no-one knows what their personal birth experience is going to be like. I would guess that as you're young and fit, you'll breeze through it. Yes it is painful (don't let anyone tell you otherwise) but if you choose to give birth through the front door rather than the sunroof, don't be afraid to ask for pain relief - it does work! And giving birth when it goes according to plan can be an amazingly empowering and positive experience. I was on a real high after having DS2 (and DS1 when the drugs wore off!).

Having siad that I haven't had a cs so can't compare. A friend of mine is pg with her no 2, she had to have an emergency cs with her DS after a long labour (which strikes me as the worst of both worlds!), she's a tiddler and her DP is a big bloke, chances are the baby is going to be a biggie and she wants a cs to avoid complications which she has assessed, on experience and probabilities, may occur. Good for her I say, I'd probably do the same.

They say our bodies are designed for childbirth but if I were god there's no way I'd design it so something so big has to get through such a small hole! Conclusive proof god is a man, if he were a she she'd have designed something a bit less painful!

I hope you have a great birth - don't let fear put you off, it's natural to be scared of something you haven't experienced. You're obviously getting as much info as you can which is great. To be honest the 18 years that follow birth is what you need to prepare yourself for!

Haven't read this thread, but some celebrities buy their c-sections, so it's possible to buy one.

It's probably cheaper to find someone to boost your confidence, however.

Having had major surgery in the past, I'd rather avoid it. I felt like utter kack afterwards.

Homemama - errrrrrr, I did not say that vickysmum was a bad midwife - how on earth would I know anything about her clinical practice?

I think if you read my post you will see, like others have done, I simply stated my personal preferences, and what I would like, with regards to the staff that might attend me in childbirth.

I though that was what the thread was for - to share our wants/desires/expectations/experiences with regards to childbirth for STM to have as much info as possible to help her in making a decision?

GO, when you suggested that you would prefer a more knowledgable MW, I took it to mean that you felt she lacked knowledge.
If this was no your intention, then you have my free apologies.
I just felt it was a shame to log back on and see that the thread seemed to have taken a more personal turn, with people just defending their own point of view rather than offering anything constructive. (Although there has been some good advice from both sides.)

I had a c section,through no choice of my own. I had no idea that my ds was breech and that he was huge and that I had extremely dangerously high blood pressure until I reached hospital with contractions 2 mins apart. The antenatal care I had was rubbish - I saw a midwife every 2 weeks and was always a different one. I felt let down and found the recovery very painful. Maybe I would have felt different if my c section was planned - like it should have been.

Hi singleteenmum I was about your age when I had my first, and I had an emergency c/s. You stated that you didn't think you would cope having a vaginal birth, what makes you think you will be able to cope with a c/s? Its certainly not pain free after the operation, neither is it pain free after giving birth. I have had both deliveries and with c/s I was out of hospital in 7days and fully recovered after 8weeks. With vaginal delivery I was out of hospital in 2days and fully recovered after 2weeks. Is ultimately your descion, but unless there was a medical reason i.e breech baby, cord round neck, high blood pressure,twins, small pelvis I would try labouring, and I know its been said for centuries but we women are designed to cope with pain!

I would just like to point out that Aloha's first post was indeed advice, directly in response to stm's q
"If you want a section I have to agree with others that you may have a bit of a fight on your hands. But IMO they are fantastic. I had one for placenta praevia first time around which went really well, second time round I had the misfortune to go into labour first - an experience of such horror and misery I doubt I will ever forget it. Then I had my section. Bliss.
Not everyone has such a good experience as I did though. And if you plan on having six kids then you are probably better off having a - horror! - vaginal birth."
her post begins with "if", it is clear that she is posting from a personal experience and her own subjective view, and she finishes with a qualifying couple of comments regarding possibility of less good experience and long-term implications.

I am firmly a 'waterbirth at home/terrified of operation' kind of Mum, but I find myself agreeing with Aloha's point of view in respect of choice, and the inconsitency with which it is prioritised, or not. Mears is very explicit about the importance of women who feel as Aloha does being enabled to have a CS - it stands to reason that anyone seeking a CS operation has a deeply-felt need to do so, if it is not solely medically indicated.

but stm, clearly didn't really know what she wanted- she starts off by saying that she wants a cs because she doesn't think she can cope, then next paragraph is saying she is considering waterbirth. If she goes in to the obstetrician all guns blazing, refusing to leave until her cs is booked (as someone suggested) she will have a fight on her hands. What she needs is support and information to come to an informed decision. If, having thoroughly researched it, she really feels that she would not cope with a vaginal delivery , then she should at least be prepared for what might happen in a cs.

Yes, I agree, stm's (understandable) confusion was clear - any clearer now, stm?

I'd just like to point out that I believe that absolute terror of birth to the extent that it is ruining your pregnancy, SHOULD be viewed as a medical reason for a CS

I think any midwife so strongly opposed to letting women have any choice in childbirth is exactly the kind of intolerant, narrow minded person I dreaded encountering in the NHS.
As for having counselling, darling, you seem so screwed up by your own birth experiences that is clearly affecting your ability to help anyone else. I have always said I am pro choice for women. You want a home birth, a water birth or any other kind of birth - including a caesarian - and I will go to the barricades for you. That is more than you can say.
As for angry and insulting. Take another look at the post before mine before you shoot your mouth off. All that snide stuff about 'narrow minded' etc was clearly aimed at me. If you want to bitch, at least have the courage to do so directly, and not do all that wounded, poor-little-me, 'some people' stuff. You have happily insulted me on numerous posts on this thread but you don't like it back at you, do you?