For those of you who wrote negative things to Ema76 about her CS will you please read this.....

[Shooflypie]

because I am really, really shocked by some of the things that were said to her. I am repeating some of what I wrote on the original post on the basis that I think this issue is important.

I recently had an el cs for exactly the same reasons as Ema76. My mother had a 48 hour labour, forceps delivery, severe tearing which led to incontinence in later life (and further operations), was sectioned with severe PND, which lasted for over a year.

She said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.

My experience was that my consultant took my fear of VB VERY seriously and his view was that a VB would put me at risk of PND and not bonding with my baby. (And btw I am perfectly robust in all respects other than this particular issue.)

I did have counselling, which was great and sorry but their goal is NOT to persuade you out of a CS as some posters assume.

I had an elcs and it was a fantastic experience. And the recovery was fine. And DS did NOT having breathing difficulties and he DID BF while I was still in the theatre.

Please take note of the following in particular:
A significant additional part of my anxiety and distress prior to the cs being offered, was that I was afraid of other women being judgemental of me.

I was so afraid of this I considered lying about the reasons for having a cs, or even trying for a VB (in the hope it would end in an em cs).

Due to a clued up consultant, a hospital psychologist, and a wonderfully supportive DP, I had the birth that was right for me and it has got our life as a family off to a flying start.

I am now very upfront about why I did have an el cs in the hope that it will be helpful to women like Ema.

I really don't understand why having a VB matters SO MUCH to some people that they think it is OK to behave with such viciousness to a pg woman? Or anyone.

Please will you reflect on the experience that I've outlined here and maybe try to be a bit more empathetic when someone tells you she wants a CS.

And bear in mind that a consultant and a pychologist took the opposite view to you.

DD was nearly 9lbs so I dread to think how big she'd have been if she'd cooked for the full 40 weeks and maybe gone over by two weeks!

Goodness, childbirth is a bit of a worry, sure, but when you put it into context of the next rest of your life bringing up children it does seem less significant, to me. I really think it's hard when control freaks become mothers (and I speak as one who has accepted that parenthood makes control freakery pretty impossible)

you really need to get some new office chairs, elf.

he turned, expat! that's great news! ()

I hope he stays where he is, it must be horrible worrying about having to be so far from home when you give birth.

If he stays where he is are you going midwife led unit or home birth?

If you did have to come to RAH I'm only 10 mins from there, so if you needed anything at all you could just holler

oh no, it cant prevent it www, but it can arranged to tighten up your sphincter during the op to remove yourself from your back passage.

Anyway, you selfish bunch of fuckers. Going and getting pregnant and having babies without me.

lol vvv

aw, DT .

both mine were fine for feeding and everything when they came.

dd2 had to be swaddled to sleep. she wasn't letting herself zed.

dd1 had her big blue (well, they were blue then) eyes wide open.

neither one of them was very big weight-wise, but then, neither was i or DH and as time when on they have both proven themselves tall and thin as rakes .

vvv.

DT - are you really fretting about b/feeding?

i will fret about it until the Day I Die, oh yes...

thank you, sherbet!

the midwives are lovely through here. if he stays as is and everything else looks good i'm going to try for birth at the MLU in Dunoon.

i just don't feel comfortable at home with the girls here because i feel like i'd be inhibited and i want my inner cavewoman to be able to come out.

i also want to use the birthing pool and have an endless supply of G&A.

also, the postnatal care there is FAB and i could have some rest and help with BF.

oh god my physio entails pelvic floor exercises. In fact, it ALL involves pelvic floor stuff. It's a farkin nightmare! One of these days I'm going to pee myself there and then on the physio table. AND she's going to tell me off tomorrow for not following them strictly enough. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggggghhh!

I'd like an op to tighten my pelvic floor AND my sphincter please.

No need to tighten my fanjo. In fact it could do with loosening up. That way, DH can slip in and out quietly of a nighttime without having to bother me.

We def need some new chairs

DD was born in 05. In 05 to 08 we have had six babies between four women. Only one "straight forward" pregnancy / birth

My dd - bleeding @ 12 weeks, constant monitoring for lack of movement, exposure to fifth disease, breech positioning, pre-eclampsia, born by section

Friends first - regular monitoring for growth scans, natural delivery

Friends second - growth scans, loss of waters, breech positioning, born by section

Friends third - the morning sickness that gets you in hospital on a drip, obstetric cholestasis, breech positioning but turned the day before the consultant was seeing her to book her in for a section, natural delivery

Friends first - no pregnancy issues, natural birth

Friends first - no pregnancy issues though very scary delivery which required transfusion.

i'm seriously considering buying one of those pelvic floor toner things for after this one.

You mean a cock?

now i would LOVE to be able to buy a cock!

seriously, even just hire one out for the day and pretend like it's mine. that'd be cool.

i've always wondered what it was like to be a man.

God, Gas and Air! I will miss out on that this time, I had so much on the way to theatre with DS that I was trying to explain to the docs that I wasn't having a baby, they had made a mistake

Sounds like Dunoon is nice. I like the midwives I've met at RAH, the ones I had last time up north were horrible. It makes a big difference.

blimey, elf. i'd not drink the water.

vvv and expat, i bought one of the pelvic floor toner things. £25 and it's like a pair of plastic curling tongs. the VERY IDEA of sticking it up your foof, no thanks. it's in a drawer and there it will stay. better that than in my drawers.

expat, you'd like a schlong? A dong for a day? It'd be an interesting experiment I suppose!

DT, unfortunately, I need to exercise a multitude of other muscles at the same time - including arse muscles and I aint sticking anything up anywhere for that

oh, no! i was looking at the FemTone ones. . and those are like £50.

i've had good experiences with the RAH midwives, too, and if you get Jennifer McGill she can take blood better than anyone i've ever had - and i've given lots of blood .

i had some G&A with DD1 and remember telling DH, 'You know, i haven't had good shit like this in years!' i could see the midwives all chuckling.

i'd love to be done up as a bloke for a day, really i would. apparently a prosthetic penis changes everything. (might help your posture, vvv )

ds2 was delivered by elective section at 38 weeks and had breathing problems (he still does at times, although I think he had whooping cough so could be a legacy of that- he's my puffy one anyhow).

When I had ds3 I told drs that I would not want to have a section before 39 weeks. They said they wouldn't do one before 39 weeks at the earliest. It was a different hospital but I think guidelines have changed to 39 weeks anyway.

For electives obviously - emergencies different.

Ds2's breathing problems were a big reaosn for me wanting to try a VBA2C as I thought that an in-labour section would be better than an elective. For me it was. DS3 was born alert and responsive with no breathing problems.

i think it would be fun to be a man for a day.

i'd make sure i drank loads of coffee so i could go to the loo as a man lots!

How did I end up in the middle of schlongs ? typing too slow

carmenere i think i am the cow to whom you referring- as it was me who mde the too posh to push comment,bearing in mind ive hd 3 c sections after a very traumatic initial labour that left my eldest ds in scbu on a ventilator and potentially brain damaged(thankfully he is well) i initially tried to support her and tell her from a personal front that c sections arent the 'easy option' and there is definitite researched risks associated with the operation.

I believed my comments were met with hostility and arrogance which therefore led to my comment that she should maybe have counselling etc before 'demanding' such an op and taking the opinion of highly trained professionals.

I am not a cow in any way.