The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

Hi Heartmum,

I think there are far more qualified people than me to give you advice, having never been through either a hospital or homebirth delivery (this is my first baby)... but I didn't want your post to go unanswered.

In relation to telling the midwife at the stage of pregnancy you are in, I think it shouldn't matter one jot. Just say you have been doing a lot of thinking, researching and soul searching after the birth of DS2, and this is the informed decision you have come to. If you've read the rest of the thread, you'll see that they really aren't able to deny you a HB, but they might do their best to talk you out of it. Then it's your determination it will come down to, and maybe a bit of letter writing to the senior mw at your hosiptial to let them know exactly where you stand and what you expect from them in terms of care and duty.

As for getting DH on side this is a very personal thing and I'm not sure what to suggest. Both my husband and I thought exactly the same thing before and as I fell pregnant "hospital birth with as many drugs as possible, including an epidural, so I can get it done and not feel a thing". Very soon however, after reading some books, stories on here and visiting various websites, I changed my tune altogether. When I realised that I wanted almost the exact opposite of what I had thought I wanted, I started passing the books onto DH and showed him some birth stories from the internet. We talked about it over a couple of nights and he came to see my new point of view. He did some research on his own, looking up the stats for safety and "what if" scenarios, and came to his own conclusion that he wanted to help me give birth in the way that I wanted to, working with my body and not against it, and now we are a strong team who are getting well prepared for our new choice of birth. We both realise that it may not go according to plan and we can only hope for the active birth we have decided on, but we won't beat ourselves up if we do end up in a hospital and have interventions etc. No one knows how it will go on the day.

There's a reading list on this thread - I would recommend getting a couple from Amazon and sharing them with your DH. He might completely open up to it like me and my DH did - you never know!

Good luck

Thanks Boobz! I didn't have time to read the entire thread last night, so am just going back and reading through it now.

I have already been told that it is out of the question for me to give birth at the local MW led birth centre, which was originally my first choice. This is because I am/was classed as high risk because ds2 was born with congenital heart defects. However, scans have proven this baby to be perfectly healthy so far (have another scan next Tuesday just to confirm no major heart issues and check growth as was measuring 4, then 6 weeks ahead at my last 2 appointments. I personally see no reason for me to be in hospital, I am not sick, neither is my baby!

I just REALLY, REALLY dislike hospitals. I know the possibility is there that I may need to be transfered, in which case I would discharge myself as quickly as possible so long as it was safe for myself and baby to do so. As it is, this baby is going to be checked over my ds2's paed, not whoever happens to be on duty that day, so no need to worry about baby checks.

I will look into the book recommendations as they more I think about it, the more I would really like to have this one at home. I felt empowered after my last baby, I can't imagine how I would feel if I had a similar experience in my own home.

Just checked out your pictures - your boys are gorgeous!

Thanks!! I am awfully fond of them, even ds1 is adorable when he isn't being mouthy (ahhh, they joys of 7 year olds, lol!). I can't wait to meet this newest son of mine and see if he looks anything like the other 2. Hmmmm, guess I should ring head of midwifery at my hospital as don't have an appt for another 2 weeks with my midwife.

Hello everyone! I'm feeling a bit down today as I have just seen the consultant with regards to my anaemia and it's not looking hopeful I must say. She has given me 2 weeks to bring my iron levels up to an acceptable level before she will let me consider a home birth. I will have another test at 39+4 so if I go before then then I will have to go to hospital. Can they make me and would I be taking a big risk if I decided to stay at home anyway?

Hi ellideb - hope that you manage to get your levels up. Homebirth.org.uk says this:

"- you are anaemic, iron deficient, etc.. - not usually an obstacle to having a home birth. It does not make you any more likely to have a postpartum haemorrhage, but it does mean that you could find recovery tougher if you do lose a lot of blood. See draft article on Homebirth and Low Hb and, for example, birth stories from Claire, Jayne, Elaine, Fiona and Jenni."

My understanding is that they can't force you to go in but don't have to provide MWs to come out to you, but I could be wrong about this - hopefully someone else can advise.

My question is this: I booked in for a HB with the MW last Monday and then mentioned it again to the MW I saw yesterday. Both of them seemed fairly supportive and I think my local trust is generally pro-HB (I was given a very positive leaflet about the benefits of HB). However, when I booked in, the MW did say that if I went into labour at a time when they were particularly busy then they might not have the staff and I may have to go in to hospital. This sounds fairly reasonable to me, but should I be writing a stroppy letter about it?

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May is brilliant. If you have any fears of giving birth at home read it!

midwife rang a short time ago to say she is bringing over the home birthing equipment. yippee. my baby is at least 3/5 engaged at 37 wks. yesterday there was a lot of lower pain and wiggles deep inside my bottom. (tmi)

ellie what is your current blood count? they can't deny you a HB based on blood count, did she say 'allow you to consider?' I hope not. as said, read up on the homebirth website.

in the mean time. drink floradix in orange juice or spatone. neither constipate like iron tabs and i think absorbing levels are higher.

oh, this is kiskidee with a good labour vibes namechange.

Thanx Anglepoise I will keep that in mind if they start to pressurise me.

Ina May Gaskin is my idol pinktree I have her other book though, her guide to childbirth and its great! I'd like to read that one too at some point so thanx.

Bet it feels more real now doesn't it foxytocin aka kiskidee! are you on the due sept antenatal thread too? My last counts have been 9.2, 9.9 and currently 10.2, so they are on their way up fortunately and I refuse to take those disgusting iron tablets. I am currently taking 2 sachets of Spa tone in orange juice each day and Pregnacare which has iron in it. Consultant rubbished them both yesterday though and wrote me out a prescription for the iron tablets.

I will not be defeated!

I have had an undiagnosed kidney infection for the past 3 bloody weeks though and have been getting sleepless, painful nights due to the pain in my back which the midwife put down to the baby been posterior and so it's no wonder I have been feeling miserable. TMI alert: I have also been getting an unpleasant smelling discharge and I'm wondering if the two are related? I have been too embarassed to mention it to the midwife lately so I will try when I see her next week.

Enough moaning from me I think, thanx for your reply's.

I was 10.5 at 28 wks and took some floradix. My midwife at the time said it was borderline.
I think your levels will be fine for a HB.

yes i am on the sept antenatal thread. I would book an appt with the GP re discharge.

bump

Glad this thread is still going - I saw my MW earlier in the week and she said she'd seen on the notes that I'd talked to GP about HB (in a consultation re something else). She said Well of course we will support you completely whatever your decision, but do go and visit the midwife-led unit at the hospital before you make any decisions.

So while she didn't say no, she was certainly not enormously keen Still, at least it's a moderately positive start! I guess the difficulty is that I'm due around christmas so they may be short staffed - but that's their problem, not mine, eh?

"I'm due around christmas so they may be short staffed"

There is no reason for them to be short-staffed around Christmas. You have given them plenty of notice in order for them to plan their on call rota in order to cover your possible labouring over Christmas.

iyswim. good luck

Hi ladies, may I join your thread?

I have just had my 16 week MW appt. and requested a home birth. I must say I went in all prepared to defend my decision but there was no need, the MW was totally cool with the whole thing and even expressed excitement, I quote, 'oh goody, we love a home birth'

I had my DD1 in hospital with no intervention and managed to get to 6cms without pain relief at home on my own so I figure this time round DC2 will be a little quicker and there's not much point me trekking all the way to the labour ward to get my gas&air fix

Sounds like an excellent idea loopy.

I am now 38 wks and last week the MW dropped off my home birth kit. I already have the pool so just waiting now for this baby to decide when is the best time.

Wow Foxy -- so close now! You have to come back on here and tell us all about it.

x

I SO wish I had had a home birth, really wanted one, but DH not so convinced and felt he had to be confident about it, so opted for hospital birth. Third time didnt have a choice as had to be induced. My friend had just had a wonderful home birth with her first baby and delivered him IN the bath! Totally what she wanted. The whole experience sounded amazing and positive and think she is happier and calmer for it, plus one happy little content baby!

Yeah Foxy, can't wait to hear all about your experience! Good luck to you girl.

I asked my midwife about the homebirth kit but she said that they don't give them out any more where I live, they bring everything they need with them instead. Slightly nervous about that, but hey, I am sure they know what they are doing!

She also said I am to give them at least a hours notice before I want them to attend as they have to meet up and arrive together and they may be coming in from opposite ends of the county.

Foxy, I forgot to ask, what exactly is in your homebirth kit? I am intrigued as I may decide to get a few items in just incase everthing happens a little too quickly and I am left waiting for midwifes to arrive!

NOthing impressive in the kit from what I can see. Things like waterproof matting for floors which are soft on the underside. Gauntlet type gloves as having a WB. I didn't root around too much tbh. Lots of bits and bobs that if used would go into a medical incinerator. The stuff like doppler, bp kit, g&a I suppose they bring with them. They asked me if I was going to use pethidine but I said no.

I'm 39 weeks tomorrow and the MWs haven't dropped off the kit yet! I was told it would be with me a couple of weeks before my EDD so need to chase them tomorrow and hope I don't go into labour tonight

On the plus side, we're currently in the middle of moving house and today managed to clear enough space to put the birth pool up (not that we've put it up yet, but at least the option is there!).

Loopylula, I am impressed at your midwife, wish mine would be a little more excited.

Update on me:

I just got back from the midwife (32w+5d today) who at first was trying to suggest that baby was too big for a home birth. Then, when she plotted the estimated weight from last week onto my chart (had a fetal echo last week and baby was estimated to weight 5lb 1oz at 32 weeks), realised that baby is not as big as they had been thinking from fundal height alone and that a home birth may be possible afterall. The worry is something to do with the shoulders. She says that next time she sees me, she will show me her risk assessment criteria. In the meantime, she wants me to see my OB (I keep forgetting I have one!) who will arrange another growth scan to check estimated fetal weight at about 36 week. If everything checks out by 37 weeks, I can have my homebirth. It's cutting it a bit fine if you ask me. I may write to the supervisor of midwifes as well to make sure that they can't use the "your baby is too big" rubbish on me. I know of several people who have had 10lb + babies at home just fine with no complications.

So far, everything looks great, BP 106/64, clear urine sample, measuring 35.5cm at 32+5 (was measuring 34cm 4 weeks ago, so slowed right down and I even told her I hadn't grown much, I can tell, I now only measure 2.5 weeks ahead instead of 6) and baby is head down, has plenty of fluid and is very active and has a great fetal heart rate. I really, REALLY want to have this baby at home, so please keep your fingers crossed his growth slows down now!

Hi guys, haven't been on this thread for a while. Work last week was blimmin busy and I'm finally on mat leave - yay! Midwives delivered the homebirth box a week ago and seem really laid back about it. Have got a Homebirth meeting with some of the team on Wednesday (along with other couples) so that should answer any questions.

So far, it has been straighforward! I am 37+2 and on the countdown... MW apt tomorrow and I gave in and started taking the iron tablets as my hb was just over 10 at 28weeks and they started going on about transfusions...

Will keep you posted, good luck all!

Mum2Jamie: shoulder dystocia has little to do with the size of the baby and mor to do with the position in which the baby presents. A big baby is no more than an avg or small baby to have dystocia.

visit the AIMS and HomeBirth websites for further info on size of baby and shoulder dystocia. It is 'another thing' for them to use instead of saying, attending a homebirth gives me the willies.

Yay, caught up with the midwives today and they're visiting me at home on Thursday to drop off a home birth kit and give me The Talk

Fingers crossed for you heartmum