I’m absolutely terrified of giving birth

[libsned]

Wondering if I should opt for c section or not? Please give honest stories of both types of birth

This!

No way would I choose a C-section on purpose. It’s a huge surgery, and the recovery can be long.
Unfortunately, the UK is strange about epidurals. When I went to the hospital for a visit, I asked if I could have an epidural, and the midwife just looked at me like, “What for? No epidural at this stage, only gas and air.”

I would much rather go in and get an epidural than have a C-section, a million times over.

With my second, I wanted to make sure I had enough time to get one, so I called the hospital with my first contraction and told them I was coming in. They told me not to, but I insisted. That way, I was in control, and I told them I would need an epidural as soon as my waters broke — which they did pretty much straight away.

Hib OP, as pps have said, better talk to someone with useful knowledge IRL. Everyone is different and there is no one right way to go about it.

But fwiw, I needed induction three times but did the rest with much reliance on gravity and no intervention (highly recommend sitting on a gymnastics ball or the bed, or just pacing).

That worked well for me because I don't trust doctors and this way their involvement remained minimal.

It's shit being scared. Hope you find a way to mitigate the fear. Statistically, chances are you will be OK.

I've had 4 c sections, tried twice for a VBAC but it didn't happen. I found recovery quite difficult particularly when I had older dc. I recommend you try for a natural birth. Dd2 had a c section with dc1 due to a placental abruption, she then struggled to conceive and had an ectopic pregnancy which burst. Then she had cervical cancer so had surgery on her cervix. She finally had dc2 at full term , a VBAC with forceps. It was much easier with dc2 despite an episiotomy - she's not having any more!

I was terrified too. But I had 2 pretty straight forward births, with no pain relief! I took a very long time to push out my first but overall the labour was only 12 hours. My second was easier too. I totally understand the fear you're feeling and there are no guarantees as to how it will go. I think it's the lack of control that can make us feel so anxious. I would never tell anyone to go for natural if you're that anxious. Sometimes even though you know a c section carries it's own risks it's the fact it is planned and you know when it's happening that gives you that sense of control and lessens the anxiety. Talk to your midwife, maybe try some relaxation and hypnobirthing. But ultimately if the anxiety is too much, book that c section x

What has made you terrified OP? Fear of the unknown, or a close friend or relative who had a terrible time? Try to seek out friends or relatives who have had a good experience.

Fear of the unknown is the worst. First births are scary, you just don't know what to expect and how you will cope. My first birth was induced and painful, hooked up to monitors and drips, but all was well in the end, vaginal birth. Second birth was sooooo easy and done and dusted in under two hours, no paid relief, none needed, because I knew I could do it, and I knew what to expect. I wish I hadn't even bothered to go to hospital, I would have been even more comfortable at home.

I would just like to add, I was scared too all 3 times. It is fear of the unknown. What really helped me was thinking "I won't be the first woman to do this and I won't be the last. Women have given birth since forever and we're so lucky we can give birth today rather than in the past". Trust your instincts and you will be surprised what your body can do. I hope this helps. All the best op.

I cannot emphasise enough how worthwhile I found doing a hypnobirthing course. The techniques it teaches you will help you feel calm no matter how you give birth. I used it for a completely natural birth, and then while being prepped for an emergency c-section for my second baby, and it just helped me feel so calm and like I could cope with anything both times.
I had only ever heard horror stories from friends and family, so I felt quite anxious, but my own experiences were lovely.

As an aside, if I could choose how to give birth a third time, it would be natural all the way, I way preferred that to the recovery of a c-section. But it’s so personal, everyone is different.

But I have even used hypnobirthing techniques in all sorts of non-birth related situations. Worth every penny.

First child was a natural birth which had a quick onset and she was born within 4 hours of contractions starting, however she was too fast for pain relief so only had gas and air. However, she then started getting stressed so midwife needed her out quickly, and ended up having a ventouse delivery without any pain relief and an episiotomy. That was very stressful and was agony. Recovery was pretty typical and with additional pain from stitches but otherwise uneventful.

Second child was again very quick from contractions to delivery and was here with 2.5 hours start to finish. Again not enough time for pain relief just gas and air. A lot less stressful that DD1 as no complications but I went into shock as was all so quick and ended up on a drip for 24 hours. Again recovery was uneventful just typical post-delivery discomfort.

I appreciate that my swift deliveries aren’t typical for most but I wouldn’t have wanted a section unless absolutely medically necessary for child or my safety ❤️

I would have opted for proper pain relief if I had been afforded the time for them, it (aside of ventouse) was manageable as it was.

Best of luck OP x

I had two vaginal births, one induction and one spontaneous labour, both absolutely fine.
First baby I actually had an ECV to have him turned as I was so scared of a c section, I was induced with him and active labour was 5.5hrs with gas and air, all went well. My second I went into labour myself, had the epidural as it was back to back labour and was admittedly very painful, but still all went smoothly and she was born 8hrs after I went to the hospital. I’ll always advocate to do what’s best for you, but I will say the most difficult part for me both times was the bleeding after birth (average 6 weeks) as I hate pads and the feel of bleeding so much, and I would have felt so much worse if I was dealing with the bleeding and C-section recovery, as you still have vaginal bleeding either way!

You will get all the horror stories.

remember that C section affects you afterwards. Do you have someone that can support you? It nEver ceases to amaze me that all major operations the aftercare is to rest and heal. Nope. C section mommas told to get up and get moving as it’s good for you!

stop asking on here as you will just make yourself worse. Go and speak with your midwife and agree a plan.

I second this. I had a horrific experience first time round that ended in a section. Second time I did hypno-birthing and had a lovely experience. Yes it was a bit of a slog but absolutely nothing like the first time (when I had 2 epidurals that both failed!) second time round I just used gas & air and felt amazing afterwards.

I gave birth naturally, twice no epidural either time and they were both fine tbh. First one was worst but it generally always is, apparently.

The recovery from a c-section, from what I've heard, is much much worse than a natural birth. It will be harder for you to get about doing things for baby in the weeks afterwards, but if it's what you feel is best then go for it.

If you do decide to go for a natural birth, I would recommend an epidural for pain relief as it is the most effective. Second to that, definitely remifentanil. Had that with both of mine and it just took almost all of the pain away during pushing and contractions - combined with gas and air, of course.

Tip for pushing: when it's time to push, take a huge deep breath and push very slowly. Didn't know this with my first and got a second degree tear. Amazing midwife on my second advised me to do this and my second came out after 3 pushes. Was so much easier and better.

Whichever way you decide, it will be fine, honestly. So many people tried to scare me about birth before my first and I felt how you do now; i was already terrified and it just made it worse. Just go in with a positive mindset and focus on your wonderful little baby that will be there at the end of it.

Best of luck ❤️

DIL had two elective c-sections in just under 12 months. Yep. Absolutely fine. Was looking after a one year-old and the newborn whilst back to wfh on her laptop in a week x