what did you wish you'd known/been told about labour and post-labour (things they don't print in books)

[choufleur]

i wish someone had told me that you can feel the baby go back up sometimes when you're pushing (but it will eventually stay down and come out)

'labour ward' should be 'postnatal ward'

Just reading back through this thread - not laughed so much in ages, thanks ladies

That it felt like my clitoris turned inside out and how extremely painful and scary that was.

And that my belly would look so big and spongy after birth, yuk, how dare they have mirrors in the shower rooms in hospital.

I told a pregnant friend recently not to underestimate how many maternity pads she would need after the birth and to buy millions - she said I freaked her out a bit! Was just trying to be helpful

That you could want to do it all again about two days later (and I had a forceps delivery!)

The one thing that surprised me when it all started was how intense it was straight away. I thought it would be a little pain and 'ooh was that a contraction?' but I got slamming pain immediately. I couldn't time the contractions, it just felt like one after the other but I knew it was too early for that.

That epidurals are bloody brilliant and you can have a little sleep even in full blown labour!

Just exactly how starving I would be afterwards. The sugar crash was ridiculous.

That you don't forget the pain immediately afterwards - I was too scared to even try and go to sleep afterwards in case I dreamt I was still in labour.

That it does take a while to 'get' how to push (and it is actually exactly the same as pooing. Although usually my trips to the toilet do not last 3 hours and then require forceps, thankfully).

That immediately prior to a contraction you will feel incredibly hungry and start muttering about chips and cheese (this effect may well be enhanced by copious consumption of G&A, thus mimicking a 'pissed and in the queue for a taxi at 3am' sensation).

That basic bodily functions like breathing slowly and emptying your bladder will be completely beyond you, despite your very best efforts.

That it hurts in between contractions too.

That contractions are really annoying and distracting when you're trying to have a conversation to pass the time.

That you will not actually think about your baby very much during the whole experience until it's out (or until the spinal block has kicked in)as you are so fixated on self-preservation and Making It Stop.

Disclaimer: I am currently 23 weeks pg with DD2 so I have either finally started to blank out the worst bits or am dangerously optimistic that it will be much quicker this time!

Fucking hell. Am 26 weeks with DD1 and have just read the whole thread. Totally scared shitless now.

Tigerbear I have a friend who has had 2 children, both homebirths without G&A who claims that she is still waiting for labour to get "really sore".

You might be that soldier!

Beveridge - I am REALLY hoping that's the case!

I am 40+3 with DC 2 and am going for a Vbac after an emcs with dd 6 years ago.

After reading all this I have to say I am now fecking terrified and wish I'd asked for an elcs.

That during labour you may need to poo, to the extent that you actually stop thinking about the abby at all, beyond a, 'If I could just have this poo, I'd be happy to get on with labour. And sod the fact that I've got an audience, I'm having this poo - or else!'

That, poo-breaks included, some labours are really very fast - so fast that you may not clearly remember them afterwards and may have to rely on dh's account of things. That he may want to remind you about the poo.

That a few minutes after birth you will feel utterly winded and thus unable to eat the cheese sandwich that the mw has brought you, despite the fact that you are ravenous. That you will then have to watch your dh scoff the sandwich.

That in the bath afterwards you will go to wash your fanjo and wonder why it feels like the horn on a clown's car. You will exclaim in horror and have to make up some story to the nurse supervising you, because you really don't want to tell her about the clown's horn thing.

That a week or so after giving birth you may suddenly find that you have the itchiest legs in the whole wide world. That they will be covered in hives and that you will want to claw off your own skin, just for a bit of relief from it all. That nobody will seem to have any clear idea what causes that, or how to stop it. No one ever, ever tells you that!

That when waters break before labour, they will keep going until baby is out, which is icky.

Oh and just how brutal, tight and unpleasant an ecms feels

Not as icky as the chaffing that would occur if amniotic fluid wasn't constantly being produce right to the end!

'Tis weird though, the constant dribbling wherever you go.

Always PMSL at 'clown's horn'!

that you shit yourself in the pushing phase

that episiotomy KILL afterwards

that you bleed loads afterwards, and for ages

that breastmilk does not often come in for DAYS and you have hungry baby screaming

ooooh just saw someone else got the "poor maternal effort" note too!!!! I was gutted when I read that after DS1

fuckers

To add insult to injury your hands can swell up to the size if balloons for a couple of days afterwards. So the first photos in your baby's album either have you immediately post birth covered in sweat and blood and just looking generally grotty, or looking slightly cleaner and more composed, but with hands at least twice the size of your whole newborn!

It's bloody uncomfortable too.

1944girl Yes, god the wind! Painful, and totally embarrassing when you're in a ward and visitors come in. I just prayed they didn't notice Had a good giggle about it with the woman in the next bed though who was also a CS

That it's best to trust your judgement on whether you're in labour and when the midwife on the phone tells you you've got days to go you could be 7cms and they might be talking crap.

That back to back labours are sometimes not that painful and you can sometimes get through the pain with gas and air.

That you can need to poo with every contraction, from the very first, so that by the end you are leaking diarrohea on anyone who comes near you.

That you can push so hard that you can do something to your jaw so that it still clicks two years later.

That even after a 3rd degree tear if they give you good enough drugs the first wee and poo can be completely pain free.

That you can refuse to put your baby on a hypoglycaemia test and sometimes the midwives don't know what they're talking about.

That gas and air is not pain relief. Not even close.

That breathing through the pain / contraction does nothing. NOTHING.

That very often MW's don't know what they're doing.

Gas and air is a fantastic pain relief and I bloody loved the stuff. In fact I'm told I begged the midwife to give me a canister to take home.

That it was worth every penny of private maternity care

That because I had PE had a c section at 34 weeks I totally escaped labour and had a painless birth due to a mobile epi for 4 days, and also because if this my fanjo Is EXACTLY the same as it was pre DD.

That you could have a baby without 1 VE or need to get my fanjo out at all!!

That my baby could go to the nursery at night whilst in hospital so I got a full nights sleep for the 1st 4 nights after she was born in which to get over major surgery which meant I was fighting fit on leaving hosi 5 days post birth and shopping in Bluewater 3 days later :-)

That pregnancy was a bitch but due to the above the birth was AMAZING!!