Could someone please help me understand what people mean when they say they loved giving birth unmedicated

[Firsttimemumpregnant]

Pregnant with my first baby and am very scared of giving birth. I'm trying to take a more positive view on labour and delivery, so trying to read a bit on positive birth etc. i keep hearing people mentioning how much they loved giving birth unmedicated and they wanted to do it again and again as it was amazing, felt so empowering etc. Could someone please explain to me how that feels and how is it possible even though it hurts like hell? I'm genuinely trying to understand as I have no previous experience and keen on hearing positive stories

I'm surprised you have heard many stories like this as IME when women say this sort of thing other women soon start to berate them for guilt-tripping other women and say that 'its not a competition' 'there are no medals' etc etc
this often succeeds in silencing women who have positive birth stories

have you ever done anything really difficult and challenging? maybe it wasn't pleasant while you were doing it but when you've succeeded you felt great ?

a bit like that

I’ve done it 3 times without pain relief, I guess that what it means. It was fine, it didn’t’hurt like hell’. It was intense but productive, and yes, quite empowering, like I imagine running a marathon would be.
I’m not saying it’s like that for everyone, I think I’m genetically lucky- was the same for my mum and aunt.

Just to run an alternative viewpoint by you, I had 2 CSs so was numb from the waist down both times. Not only was it pain free (yippee!) but it was the safest option for me and my babies. This is your decision.

I had one bad one and one like this. It really hurt but I felt strong and in control, afterwards felt asking I could have gone out dancing. I loved it.

Can I just say please don't fall into the 'high/low pain threshold' trap as if requiring more pain relief than the next woman is some kind of moral failing?

I had 2 completely different births - one that was fast and intense and I wish I'd asked for an epidural earlier in the process (ended up with a spinal block for forceps which was a blessed relief at that point) and another birth where I swore I just had a bit of an upset stomach rather than being 6cm dilated (as it turns out I was!) and a 1 minute long second stage with not much time for gas and air.

I'm the same person but the circumstances, baby positioning, etc were both different.

Go in with an open mind and remember that if you're toiling, you can always move to the next level of pain relief. Oh and don't knock paracetamol! I thought it was a bit of joke but it really can tide you over in the early stages.

I gave birth “unmedicated” but it wasn’t my plan and I don’t think I’d rush to repeat the experience! My labour came on fast and baby arrived within 3 hours of arriving at the hospital so by the time they brought medication they warned me it could affect baby and me so I didn’t risk it. Spent most of my labour begging for a c section so I can’t say I found it empowering however it is totally true that you forget the pain very quickly afterwards and it all is a bit of a blur. Hope it goes well whatever you decide but don’t be upset if you don’t end up following your birth plan - a safe entry into the world is most important no matter what it looks like

I had one that was a 3 day labour, required ALL of the pain relief and do not regret it for a second. And one that was 45 mins start to finish and offered only a paracetamol, both resulted in healthy babies although the recovery from the 2nd was much easier but I’d put that down to a lack of forceps more than anything else.

I had a very open minded birth plan which was basically I’ll go with it and do what I need to do to get the baby here safely, worked for me both times.

I wouldn't fancy it without at least gas and air myself. But you've got to go your own way, as much as you can.

I would recommend bearing in mind that it is hard to imagine what you'll feel like you'll need at the time. But I don't see why you shouldn't make a plan now that you've space to ponder it. I was dead against an epidural and didn't once consider changing my mind. I'd already thoroughly ruled it out as something I wanted so it didn't even occur to me at the time to ask for one.

Found mine painful but there's an end in sight, its not random unknown pain. You know you get a big reward at the end. I would rather give birth than be pregnant which sort of helps as the birth ends the pregnancy 😅 I did hypobirthing and the breathing techniques really helped focus me although there were still a few moments of absolute panic I managed to get it back each time.

I also knew of some awful csec and epidural long term issues through my work so had good reason to want to avoid them. So that motivated me.

You also feel quite proud of your body and strong afterwards although you can't ever say it in as you'll get accused of being smug. Birth is a massive deal, however it happens. The best one is the one that works for you.

My third was like that. Not quite unmedicated as I had gas and air, but it was intense rather than painful, reasonably quick, and I felt amazing afterwards. It was a very relaxed, chilled, planned homebirth, genuinely one of the best experiences of my life, after which I felt I could do anything.

My first two deliveries, however, were not like that at all. They went on for what felt like forever and hurt like hell, so I had an epidural with the first and industrial quantities of gas and air with the second.

Birth isn't a competition, go with the flow, take as much pain relief as you need at the time, and if you need a c-section that's fine too.

I had 2 easy, drug free births which left me euphoric (annoyingly so).

I had no expectations and was happy to have every drug going if you’d asked me before my first labour. My 3 sisters had all had medicalised and long labours and gleefully told me how awful it is. I didn’t have a birth plan or any idea about what I wanted. It just so happened that I didn’t find it hard or too painful. I surprised myself in that I stayed very quiet and focussed and was led by some instinct I didn’t know I possessed.

I think the best advice is to be open minded and do or take whatever gets you through.

It's like an adrenaline rush, this surge of confidence and power, from bringing a person into the world, where there is no dulling the edges, everything feels so vibrant and alive

I was the opposite. I wanted drugs and the easiest birth possible. An early epidural and giving birth pain-free was the most ‘empowering’ thing to me. Two of my children arrived with me laughing and calm. The other, too late for any pain relief did not. Why anybody thinks it’s a badge of honour I cannot fathom, but it’s a badge they are welcome to. It’s not for me.

I had two babies, the first was an induction with loads of medical intervention, and dia morphine for ‘pain relief’ in reality I was really uncomfy for a very long time and felt horribly sick, and was sick at least twice. My second came quicker, and I didn’t have time to worry about pain relief, would have quite liked some through the stitching afterwards. I think you have to keep an open mind, as births, much as people like to plan them, happen as they happen and I’d just make sure you have your partner/ mum/ best friend whoever you think will be kind and supportive with you, and it will all be fine.

Honestly the best advice I can give go in with an open mind…

You don’t know what it will feel like till your in labour .

i found gas and air didn’t do a lot except made me thirsty.

i somehow did find each contraction closer to meeting my Ds - I only had one so nothing to compare to.

Read up but consider what would you be happy for to manage the pain .

I had two unmedicated and it was a very empowering experience as I felt very in touch with my body.

Yes, it hurts but not like “I’ve had my leg chopped off” hurt, it’s tolerable and you know it comes in waves and then releases. The contractions are intense but there is equal pressure against them from the baby pressing down so it sort of cancels it out. Like when you stub your toe and you grab it and squeeze it because the pressure against it somehow makes it hurt less.

Afterwards the rush of hormones and other chemicals is insane, like the highest high. I felt like I could run a marathon after my son’s 13-hour labour (having been awake for over 30 hours at that point).

I am needle phobic so my place of giving birth naturally without any pain relief stemmed from that!

I'm glad I didn't opt for any pain relief each time and relied on breathing techniques and staying calm as it meant after giving birth I felt great as natural high endorphins kicked in and I wasn't filled by drugs physically or mentally.

But my Labours were both short and without complications so perhaps it was easy for me. Plus I gave birth each time in the 1990s when giving birth seemed more straightforward than it does today going by posts I read on here.

I felt and looked dreadful when I was pregnant and couldn't wait to give birth and I was fortunate that giving birth each time was not that painful, not that long and with minimal medical intervention. I didn't need any forceps etc and I didn't have any stitches afterwards, thankfully.

First time I was TERRIFIED of the unknown so had an epidural. It was great because I felt nothing. 2.5 years later I had my 2nd, and planned the same. However I was not prepared for the speed!! Only time for some gas & air and a midwife who confidently saw the whole thing out in just a few hours. 3rd time I pretty much sneezed and he came shooting out.

i think the unknown is daunting and I know after having my first it subsequently made the next 2 physically easier. But I know that’s not always the way.

gas & air isn’t for everyone but it was a cheap thrill for me!!!

I have never heard anyone say that. Sounds like a load of introspective, pretentious bollocks to me. You do what's best for you in the circumstances you are given.

I had three births; 2 of them were highly medicated and one was complelely unmedicated. From a practical point of view, my easiest birth was the unmedicated one because it was quicker, and I got to be a new mum without a massive medication hangover / anaesthetised lower body. My medicated births were not easier or less painful - they were so much worse that they required intervention. But without the medication on the first 2, both me and my babies would not have survived, so.

I had two fairly unmedicated - first I had gas & air, second nothing as it was very quick. Didn’t find it all that painful but not all that empowering either. I suppose it was interesting- it’s a feeling I’ll never have ever again, so since it wasn’t that painful, I’m glad I experienced it iyswim. But it’s certainly not an unmissable experience IME, if I’d been in serious pain (or likely to be eg fast induction or back to back) I’d happily have taken the drugs.

Who says this? Not anyone I have ever met.

I had an unmedicated home water birth. It went smoothly, it was extremely painful but it was manageable. I would say that I loved it. I think the way a PP compared it to a marathon is very fitting, it hurt like hell and I was exhausted, but it was rewarding.
I don’t think it’s any more rewarding than any other birth though.

don't be scared, be educated about all of your options. Have a preference and be willing to fight for it if you need to, or do the opposite and go with an open mind. Make sure your birth partner is clued up too, and aware of, and willing to fight for your preferences, and most importantly trust your body and instincts. if something feels off then it probably is. demand to be heard/seen/taken seriously.

I recommend the hypnobirthing online course by the positive birth company (no hypnotherapy involved!) I also really rated their postpartum course (taken pre baby while you still have time. it goes into post birth care for you and your baby. it helped to know what to expect.

fuck no! People are lying!

I know everyone is different, I’ve known many holistic people who have done it and many for non holistic reasons. Very few would repeat the experience.

Pain threshold would be a big thing for me, what’s yours like?

For me I’ve had 3 births, one with epidural, was inducted due to pre-eclampsia put straight on epidural, taken off when dilated, body over tired needed forceps, reintroduced epidural, forceps caused a tear, internal bleeding, more meds, I was out of it for hours after baby born. I was also placed on an antibiotic drip due to undiagnosed infection I only found after being admitted to hospital.

2 - I was doing well, midwife visited and I was told o early stages of Labour ( working on contractions being like period pain). A few hours later I think, o here we go they are getting stronger, called DH and BF to babysit. DH gets home approx 15 mins, takes me straight o hospital 10 mins away O sorry your fully dilated and ready to go, here is gas and air, that got thrown at DH. Baby arrived less than an hour later. Fair enough it was done, but fuck me the after contractions which I’d never heard of till baby 2 as I was out of it with bay 1 where horrendous with no aftercare. I also hadn’t realised how bad my contractions were due to bad periods and me thinking the pain was a 4/5 on my scale when really it was a 7/8.

3 - another induction, I believe they referred to it as sweep, but not sure as my third child was the only one born in the uk and the maternity care from start to finish was fuck8ng appalling. Anyway 52 hours later I was taken down, put on something I’d never heard of, possible pethidine. I was in a very stressful place in my life ( multiple close family TI, cancer and suicidal) I was also 42. Pain meds ran out and topped up but baby be died to arrive minutes after my top up so i5 didn’t kick in till later. Aftercare made me turn into the most horrible shouty (I even sweared) person, which I never do, I absolutely lost it in the maternity unit even made my DH pack our baby up and was leaving without being discharged.

Sorry I went on a tangent. My point is, you never ever know what will happen. I think if women are honest they will tell you very few many a fully unmedicated birth.

I have a friend who’s had 2 home births, she’s always been very holistic, natural, but she’s also a paediatric nurse, knows her stuff, 1 & 2 went without a hitch, 3 was 7months in nicu for a long time, 4 and 5 she had at home in a birthing pool. She joked dad of 4 & 5 was a farmer and was use to delivering babies. The difference was she had a normal pregnancy and her BF another neonatal nurse and another Dr friend on hand in case of any issues.

Why do you think it 'hurts like hell'?

It's a lot of the medical interventions that increase the pain.

Unmedicated can also mean different things?

Just gas & air for a straight forward birth isn't that uncommon.