Could someone please help me understand what people mean when they say they loved giving birth unmedicated

[Firsttimemumpregnant]

Pregnant with my first baby and am very scared of giving birth. I'm trying to take a more positive view on labour and delivery, so trying to read a bit on positive birth etc. i keep hearing people mentioning how much they loved giving birth unmedicated and they wanted to do it again and again as it was amazing, felt so empowering etc. Could someone please explain to me how that feels and how is it possible even though it hurts like hell? I'm genuinely trying to understand as I have no previous experience and keen on hearing positive stories

I had both an epidural birth (forceps and a episiotomy after 17 hours) and a natural birth with my second.

I had lots of complications after the birth because of the forceps and tear (slight bottom prolapse and an operation there and then had to have a TVT sling operation to stop peeing myself). But no pain in birth.

Second baby no epidural only gas and air. Pain was immense and I screamed the place down BUT the sensation of my baby coming out of me was amazing , it was hugely bonding and special and worth all the pain!

There was s programme in the 90s/noughties called Home Birth Diaries which presented a less medical style of birth. You can probably still find it on YouTube. Hypnobirthing, if you can afford to find a practitioner, can really help if you have a lot of anxiety around the pain side of things. Best of luck!

Yes, there was also Yorkshire Midwives a couple of years ago on BBC which was home birth focused. If you’re going to watch stuff like One Born Every Minute or the Emma Willis programme, I’d recommend watching something like this too for another perspective. Don’t forget these shows want to be exciting though so don’t necessarily show run of the mill uneventful birth.

I enjoyed the Yorkshire Midwives one as it showed a calmness around birth which was far removed from what I thought birth could be based on TV/movies/everyone saying it’s awful.

@Nomnomnew I haven’t seen the Yorkshire midwives programme but I definitely was not planning to ever have babies till I saw homebirth diaries. It was a huge revelation that it didn’t necessarily have to be the awful trauma it was usually depicted as on tv!

I had every drug available to have my first and I was so out of it I was falling asleep between pushes and had to have an intervention. With my second I did a course of hypnobirthing and used this to help my delivery, I was not out of it at all like the first one and even though I was induced, it was such a better experience. I can't remember pain the second time, it's like the brain can switch off.

I have given birth multiple times completely unmedicated, even without gas and air.
It was always absolute agony but the adrenaline rush immediately after was amazing, so maybe this is what they are talking about.
A bit like a natural version of how it feels great when you have been in pain for a while and then a pain killer starts working. You feel artificially better than when you are just normal without having had pain previously.

I'm probably one of these people but I think it's just because time is quickly a healer! Both my births were fairly quick and intense (5hrs and 2.5hrs) so I think that's got a lot to do with it because there's less to remember, but it's just the empowerment aspect of it I reckon. I vividly remember thinking and shouting I'm going to fucking die both times at what I presume was the largest bit of the head part, and I genuinely believed I was going to die - but then a few seconds later you don't die and you feel like you've cheated the most painful death all by yourself, and then you just ride on that memory forever. That's what i felt like anyway haha. Oh and for my second, I was able to go home after a quick shower in less than 2hrs so I was just feeling proper proud of myself considering I thought I wasn't going to be alive shortly before.

And the endorphins when you’re done are INCREDIBLE. I raved to the midwives for a good hour about how incredible women are and how awesome I felt.

I was the same. I felt like an absolute warrior and kept saying how fantastic women are.

Yes to hypo birthing and also read a lot of stories about people who used hypno birthing.
Ines May, I think is her name, is the author of a really empowering collection of stories. Ioved reading it in preparation.
I found my three unmedicated births really powerful and overall great experiences. I felt like I'd run a marathon after and achieved something I didn't think I could.

Me too. It was like a runner's high x100. I felt like a warrior. I felt unstoppable.

I found every second of being pregnant truly awful but giving birth was one of the most horrendous experiences of my life. When the pain got really unbearable I would have given anything to have had an epidural but I had forgotten to tell the obstetrician thst I had a couple of prolapsed discs and in the absence of a scan, they refused to give me an epidural on the day. At that time, the hospital where I gave birth didn't do caesarians unless there was a real medical reason so I was stuck with gas, air, and pethedine. People told me that I would forget how awful it was, but I definitely didnt. Having said all that, it was worth it to have my daughter, but I would never have done it a second time. I certainly didn't feel empowered or awesome as other people have said - the whole 20 hours of being in labour were just horrible from start to finish.

Everyone's different. People experience pain differently. I went from 0 to 10cm in 28 minutes. I didn't have pain but the urge to do a massive poo. I was rushed for a csection after delivering feet in triage. My 2ndcwas a planned csection and it was very chilled.

I thinkbthe most important thing is to know your options. To understand that stuff changes and you might have to make decisions there and then. Also, argue for yourself if necessary. Do be afraid to ask for a second option.

DC1 - epidural, long labour.
DS2 - just some gas and air, short labour.

I am glad to say that I will never give birth again

I given birth 4 times and each experience was completely different to the others. By the 4th, I'd decided to be open minded and what will be will be. It's something you have absolutely no control over, so trying to force it into a certain experience only leads to disappointment - if that makes sense.

Same as Willowkins I had a c/s however mine was by choice. I was really frightened for a number of reasons and it was amazing! I didn’t feel a thing and they kept the epidural in till evening of day 3 and after that I only needed Panadol. Do what suits you best and good luck OP. Do remember whatever way you do it you’ll come out the other side so proud of yourself xxx

I had one birth with epidural and one without. Both times felt like powerful kind of animalistic experiences, and I felt equally like an absolute superwoman after both of them. Like wow I did that I'm stronger than I ever believed, I did something that I felt in the moment like I wouldn't be able to endure. Growing and birthing a human is incredible no matter what way you do it. Best of luck with your birth.

I planned a soft-music, candle-lit waterbirth first time but ended up with an epidural and it was very much needed. Baby was stuck, not making progress and I wasn't coping at all.

So, second time I thought I wanted an epidural but things moved too fast and I ended up having just gas an air. The pain was uncomfortable but bearable and I did get the most wonderful rush of endorphins/sense of well-being afterwards which lasted for at least a week.

Both experiences were positive and I'm glad I had the options I did. Any decision you make in advance is theoretical . . . . Do your research but don't rule anything out, then you can do what's right for you on the day. Best of luck.

I found it far less painful that medicalised birth. I didn't find labouring or birthing upright at all painful. Lying down hurt like hell. At one point in my second labour I lay down to cuddle my firstborn back to sleep and had a contraction. That hurt! As soon as I was up and walking again, it was fine. I don't even have a very high pain threshold, as far as I'm concerned.

I’ve had 5 different deliveries all completely different. One was entirely unmedicated - it was the longest labour and the only one which wasn’t induced/no drip. It was brilliant.

It was very calm, the pain felt productive and the overall experience was empowering. But it worked for that particular birth. It wouldn’t have been possible with other deliveries.

I had an unmedicated birth...the high afterwards was incredible! I felt so elated and felt all the oxytocin. I felt very proud of myself and my body. It was also pretty quick (for a birth)
I suppose it is similar to the way that people do painful physical things such as multiple marathons, iron man races, daily ice baths. None of those appeal to me though!

My plan was to have my babies without any pain relief and I did. I have learned not to talk about it on here because it's sadly unacceptable. I've even been told that it's anti feminist to mention it. But there are plenty of us.

I’m sorry you feel like you can’t talk about it. It’s most certainly not anti-feminist for any woman to talk about her experience of giving birth. Our experiences are so personal.

Personally, I feel women are often made to feel like their bodies are failing and like childbirth is something that must be awful and must be medicalised. But it doesn’t always have to be like that, and I think it’s important that we can share positive stories too. I was petrified of birth before I fell pregnant, but decided I’d better woman up and learn about it before the big day. And what I learnt was that it absolutely doesn’t have to look like it does on TV!

I’m not saying this to minimise the experience of anyone who had an awful time, some women do, I only mean that we never know how it’s going to go, but awful is not inevitable.

I always had an open mind, my plan was to go with the flow, I just knew I didn't want any drugs like pethidine as I didn't want to feel woozy or out of it (I don't mind the 'out of it' feeling with gas and air because that's immediately reversible).

When labour started I was like oh jaysus this is painful, I reckon I'll probably ask for an epidural a bit further down the line.

I used a TENS machine at home (amazing up until the contractions get very intense) then gas and air when I got to the hospital which helped take the edge of. Every contraction I was thinking 'OK next one will probably be too much, I'll ask for an epidural then'. It wasn't really me being a martyr but more just feeling like I didn't really need any further pain relief just yet?

Well then things progressed way more rapidly than expected and all of a sudden I needed to push and then it was too late for an epidural 😂. A lot of swearing then escaped my mouth especially when the midwife gently took the gas and air away from me because my reliance on it was preventing me from pushing properly or some such nonsense. So the actual birth was sans any pain relief at all but I felt incredible afterwards and tbh don't really remember the pain.

I had a quite traumatic experience in a previous labour where I was induced without wanting to be, then a hideous cascade of interventions ensued, ending in an emergency section. I made a plan for a VBAC in the next pregnancy. I knew that it could proceed differently, but in the end I laboured at home through the night, arrived at the hospital 5cm dilated, used gas and air and stayed mobile throughout active labour, felt calm and in control until it was time to push; then pushed out my baby in a couple of minutes without any analgesia.
Technically my birth wasn’t ‘unmedicated’ as I used gas and air, and I felt really intense emotions during the pushing stage where I was roaring at the midwives to get the baby out of me IMMEDIATELY!! I did feel powerful and as in control as one can be when going through birth. It was cathartic and beautiful after my difficult previous delivery and I didn’t have the uncontrollable shivering, itching and vomiting that I had experienced during my section as a result of the anaesthesia and medication I was given.

I laboured for three days with a back to back baby who was positioned funny. Then I ended up with a section. The medical team only got me to 8cm even on the drip, he'd never have got there due a short cord.

If I had the chance, I'd take the horrific labouring (I had every pain relief going including epidural but still had pain from the pressure) over the issues I had with section afterwards.

You can't predict how your birth will be, you also can't compare to anyone else.

Try not to worry about it and hope all goes well x