Could someone please help me understand what people mean when they say they loved giving birth unmedicated

[Firsttimemumpregnant]

Pregnant with my first baby and am very scared of giving birth. I'm trying to take a more positive view on labour and delivery, so trying to read a bit on positive birth etc. i keep hearing people mentioning how much they loved giving birth unmedicated and they wanted to do it again and again as it was amazing, felt so empowering etc. Could someone please explain to me how that feels and how is it possible even though it hurts like hell? I'm genuinely trying to understand as I have no previous experience and keen on hearing positive stories

Thank you everyone for your replies, I really appreciate it. I have read each and every one of them. A lot to think about and prepare for me, it was reassuring to hear different insights and experiences.

Same here - couldn’t see the point of being in pain or discomfort. I had an early epidural - got plenty of sleep and then watched Wimbledon during the birth. A lovely day.

I had an epidural for my first. I was young and thought it was for the best. It wasn’t, it was bloody awful. So my second two I had no epidural but did have gas and air and an injection of something. Birth is so varied and individual and only you know what’s best for you. And it’s not a competition. Definitely don’t go medication free just to lord it over other women who couldn’t.

I had two fairly short labours. Both very straightforward and really not bad pain-wise so I didn't need any pain relief. I actually quite enjoyed giving birth, but that's not something I ever say as I don't want to come across wrong or upset anyone.

I used this book as my labour bible and very much appreciated knowing exactly what my body was doing (and trying to do) so that I could stay calm.

Once labour was underway, I decided to just see how I went and how long I could go on my own. I'm lucky that for me it was all the way to delivery both times, but would not have hesitated to get relief if I needed it. There aren't many things I'm good at, so I'm taking 'giving birth' as one!

Honestly? Your labour and your birth. Go with the flow and recognise that a birth plan can’t always be stuck to. Some women manage with no pain relief - but not many - whilst others opt for an epidural.
You can’t do it wrong, do what feels right for you.

I think it's best to say to yourself and the midwives that you will play it by ear and decide what you need on the day.

I know before I had my first I read everything and had this practically minute by minute plan. But then I also brought 2 massive books on egyptology and a box of chocolates to the hospital to pass the time until I gave birth so clearly I was an idiot 🤣

But the plan went out the window pdq.

At least it kept the midwives entertained as they kept coming into the room to laugh at my books and take a chocolate.

Just have a rough idea about what you prefer but be flexible and if you need pain relief yell for it!

I gave birth with only gas & air. It wasn't empowering or anything like that, but I did really like the high gas & air gives you 😂 You still feel pain but don't really care that much. My birth was very quick and uncomplicated though, so maybe I was just lucky. The recovery was very quick and I left the hospital the same day.

Imagine climbing Everest without oxygen or running an ultra marathon in incredibly hard conditions. The high after you have achieved a grueling physical achievement is intense. But obviously not for everyone - ultra marathons are very much a minority sport

The one big positive I will say is how quickly your body recovers from an unmedicated birth, if it is a straightforward one.

Ive had one medicated birth and two unmedicated.
I didn't love it, but i think particularly with my second baby I felt really empowered afterwards. Its probably a bit bonkers and a bit woo.
I actually think in hindsight it was probably to do with how supportive my midwife was and my partner.

No i wanted epidural, contingency for other pain meds if I couldn't..

I ended up with the whammy no meds whatsoever and still went through the bloody needle as he was coming out as they were putting it in 😭😭😭

I had three homebirths in water with no other pain relief. Mainly because with the first one I planned just to see how it went, knowing I could scale up my plan whenever necessary (so booked homebirth, planned pool etc, but also had a plan to go to hospital if I wanted more pain relief, and we lived close to a major hospital at the time). As it turned out I never needed to scale up the plan beyond the first stage as I had quick and straightforward (and pain-free) births. It was a huge physical effort but I didn't have anything I would call 'pain' in that it didn't feel like anything was 'wrong'. It was more like trying hard to do something physically challenging but ultimately possible. And I'm not an endurance sports person at all! After my first baby I got up out of the pool to get dried off and into bed and said 'if that's what it's like I can do that again!' You might be like me, or you might not - but you can definitely plan to see how you and your body handle labour before making decisions. Like others I was glad not to have side-effects from medication to recover from afterwards. I felt great but tired after all three births.

I didn't love it at all and screamed for an epidural until they gave me one to shut me up.
After the epidural it was just fine.
Don't be hard on yourself. You can see how it goes but if you need pain relief have it. You don't get any medals for suffering.

I wouldn't say i loved it. After my first dc which was epidural followed by C-section, I really wanted to see if I could endure labour and birth without pain relief. I also trust my body in the sense that I felt it knew what to do. All being well. Sometimes things do go wrong.

So I had gas and air for my last three dcs. It was ok. Bearable. But I think letting go of any active sense of control in the process played a big part.

I had a C section for medical reasons, but of my NCT group two had unusually difficult births and the other five were all variants of "wasn't exactly fun but it was doable and I'd do it again". I agree that women with positive stories tend to keep quiet for the reasons given. I will add that my baby was a really easy, sunny girl and a great sleeper very early and I quickly learned that no one wanted to hear about that. I can completely understand why but it does mean that mums to be and new mums don't necessarily get a nuanced picture.

I had two unmedicated births (one in the midwife unit, one at home in water). Yes they hurt, and it was intense, but I felt absolutely euphoric afterwards and so amazed at what my body had done. For personal reasons I didn't want an epidural but obviously would have had an emergency c section if I'd needed one, thankfully all went fine tho

I had no option for pain relief with my 2nd as arrived quite dilated. I certainly tried to stay calm through it all, answered calmly that I didn’t think I could when the nurse at reception asked if I could do a urine sample when we arrived, but once baby was born there was no positive flood of emotions. I was shaking uncontrollably, and felt very unstable holding baby. It was a factor in not wanting to do medication free again, as well as how awful it was. It really is that every birth is different for every woman, and I think if you try going natural and find you can’t handle it, you’re not weaker, it’s probably harder for you. I found labour pretty all consuming and very hard to cope with without an epidural, even the rapid 2nd one. The others were much slower so I had a longer period of sitting in the contractions and I just didn’t know how long I could hold on for until they would give me an epidural. There was no question of just trying to carry on, and breathing into it did fuck all, as did gas and air unless that contributed to making me throw up repeatedly.

all that said, I’m going to slightly contradict myself and say I’m sure some mental techniques and positivity helps, like it does with all difficult life experiences. My births were all miserable experiences but not traumatic.

I had an emergency section with my first and then an unmedicated (not by choice, from start to finish was only 2 hours so too fast for an epidural) vaginal birth for my second.

Although I have a high pain threshold my VBAC made me want to jump out the window. Never felt pain like it. As one contraction was ending the next was building, there was no break between them at all.

I feel proud of the way I birthed both my babies, it was the safest way out for them so that's all I'm bothered about.

Read Dr Jean Sutton: Optimal Foetal Positioning.
Will help you understand the birth process.
I wish I'd read this before giving birth, was lucky enough to attend a talk she gave.

I've had 4 births, all different pain meds. 1st was pethidine and gas and air. Wish I didn't have the pethidine sent me loopy/sleepy. 2nd was just gas and air wasn't too bad. The ring of fire is not fun, though. 3rd was quick labour of 1 hour, so there no time for anything. 4th was induction on the drip, so I had an epidural before they started the drip.

All in all, the only birth I didn't really like was the pethidine one. The one i enjoyed the most was the epidural. As 0 pain.
But all births were still empowering and amazing just because there was a little baby at the end of it.

I don’t get it. I had two without pain relief ( including no gas and air). The only reason this happened is because I was too far dilated. I can’t say I felt empowered. I would have rather not have been in pain.
The first time it was bearable (just) but baby was in the right position, I was only in my late twenties, and it was over very quickly. I still would have preferred to have had some pain relief. The second time I was older, they induced me and it was horrific. I definitely needed pain meds and I was very traumatised afterwards.
I suppose what I’m saying is even in best case scenario I don’t identify with the idea of it being empowering. People do lie about this sort of thing.

I truly believe that some women find their unmedicated births euphoric and empowering and that’s great for them. But I wish they would acknowledge that they were lucky that was their experience instead of making out it was solely down to their super human pain tolerance or positive mental attitude or whatever.

Feels taboo to say some women get easy births but it’s obvious no? I didn’t get morning sickness or preeclampsia or gestational diabetes but I wouldn’t go round saying that pregnancy is fine and dandy if you put your mind to it and decline intervention.

Not all births are the same so talking as if just because some manage with no pain relief everyone could is silly. I had a fast and intense back labour. I do not recognise the PPs descriptions of manageable pain or waves of contractions with rests in between. I felt like I was being torn in two from the hips and had so little break between contractions the midwife struggled to assess my progress. I didn’t have time for an epidural so I managed on gas and air but I didn’t feel euphoric or empowered or accomplished I felt scared and confused.

I don’t say that to scare you just to show that all labour and births are different and you just don’t know what you’re going to get until you’re in the thick of it. I hope you do get a nice one but don’t feel pressured by others who enjoyed an unmedicated birth to deny yourself whatever you need to cope with the birth you actually get!

I wanted a semi non medicated birth, in that I wanted a water birth with gas and air.
I found the idea of inductions, epidurals, c sections to be really medical and scary.
So the less 'medical' version appealed more to me.
But I ended up having to go on the drip after a long labour and was given an epidural, I wouldn't choose either again so will try again this time for 'semi non medicated'
It's kind of like getting in the zone, breathing through it, the contractions hurt but you're so focused and they come and go so its not constant, then the actual pushing part is relatively short. The early part of the labour the pain is minor and infrequent so that's quite manageable I found. Mine only got really tough when my baby went back to back.
My friends second birth was unmedicated and she said it was amazing, she felt empowered and I imagine its a bit like a runners high? Lots of endorphins etc.
I think that the most important thing is to go in knowing that birth is an unpredictable event, you don't really know what's going to happen and to kind of make peace with that. You can have plans of the perfect birth but at the end of the day, it isn't really within your control so having a series of 'if this happens then I'd like to try this option' helped me kind of think through the scenarios and what I'd ideally like to do in each case.
I also think that personal preference, pain tolerances play a factor as does the fact that some births go smoother than others etc
You can always start out unmedicated and see how you go, then get an epidural if you feel like you need one.

I fell for all that happy clappy crap and had a non medicated birth - worst thing I've ever done TBH and would definitely not have done it that way again if I had another. It is true that the overwhelming pain disappears almost immediately after giving birth but at no point did I feel empowered or any kind of rush of happy hormones or endorphins, there was no high. I told my husband that I wanted to die half way through and after it was all over I just felt battered. DS was over 9lbs though so that probably didn't help!

For me it was a case of me being more scared of the medication than the pain. I am emetophobic and I don't like the feeling of being woozy. I don't even like the feeling of being drunk. I had a couple of puffs of gas and air and didn't like how it made me feel.

I gave birth to dc3 unmedicated because it was so fast. (Less than 30 mins from first contraction to holding him. ) It’s not something that I would
choose or aspire to tbh and if it hadn’t been so quick then I would have had an epidural like the other 2 times.