Could someone please help me understand what people mean when they say they loved giving birth unmedicated

[Firsttimemumpregnant]

Pregnant with my first baby and am very scared of giving birth. I'm trying to take a more positive view on labour and delivery, so trying to read a bit on positive birth etc. i keep hearing people mentioning how much they loved giving birth unmedicated and they wanted to do it again and again as it was amazing, felt so empowering etc. Could someone please explain to me how that feels and how is it possible even though it hurts like hell? I'm genuinely trying to understand as I have no previous experience and keen on hearing positive stories

@Nomnomnew "Personally, I feel women are often made to feel like their bodies are failing and like childbirth is something that must be awful and must be medicalised."
This is such an important point. One of the victories of first wave feminism was the reclamation of childbirth from the largely male medical establishment. Sadly, that phase didn't last long!

I have had two babies without intervention. It was a bit like running a marathon, throwing up, out of breath, shitting myself and calving a cow, all at the same time. Noting was staying in my body, everything was coming out. Not painful at all, just undignified and slightly amusing.

I wanted a medicalised birth - I didn’t want to wait to see how I coped with any pain. I had an early epidural so that there was no pain or discomfort. It was an amazing experience - nothing scary but just a brilliant feeling.

Both my babies were born early by induction. Both my babies contractions lasted hours and hours with absolutely no gaps. Both my babies got stuck in the birth canal. I had an episiotomy in both births and now have a huge scar. In both births I had forceps emergency deliveries. In both births I used gas and air (I might as well have not bothered). In both births I had an epidural- without it I think today I would be describing to you one birth story not two.

All births are different, don't let anyone tell you that medication is wrong or right. You go with what works best for you.

My natural birth ( no pain relief at all) was just as you read in the books. My body told ne what to do. It wasn't pain-free, but the pain was manageable and you felt like it had a prpose. It's really difficult to describe but very different to birth that needed intervention.

Before the NHS, the main reason for what men's mortality and lower life expectancy was childbirth. Without medical interventions life expectancy for women would be far lower today. Without medical intervention I would not be here today.

Women's not men's!!! What a spelling fail lol 😂

Every birth is different but if you have a straightforward birth the pain isn't scary like other pain is, it's your body doing what it's suppose to do.

It's also not the worst pain there is, there was a thread on here and the consensus was that toothache and gallstones were more painful.

It is so much more acceptable to talk about terrifying birth experiences - and of course they happen-than it is to talk about straightforward ones. This thread is proof of this.

Why would it be unacceptable to talk about having your babies without any pain relief? Surely your experience is just as valid and important as anyone else's? We're all different - some women want to give birth without any pain relief, some want the maximum intervention possible, some forget about the pain afterwards, and some don't, some women enjoy being pregnant and giving birth, whilst others loathe every second. No-one is any more right or wrong than anyone else.

I think it is moreso that it feels empowering.

I had two births without pain relief and it was the worst pain that I can't even imagime now. I needed that pain though to keep me focused and I when I trird G&A I went doolally. It is different for every woman

Oh gosh I do!

I loved my birth experience. Hated being pregnant.

@Firsttimemumpregnant If you’re feeling anxious about labour, you might want to consider hypnobirthing classes. I found them invaluable in feeling like I was in control of my emotions and response to the pain. I had a water birth with DS2 and I can honestly say it was an enjoyable experience.

Even a friend who had an emergency C section said that her hypnobirthing helped her stay calm and controlled when it was all kicking off around her. You can’t guarantee how your labour will go but you can prepare yourself mentally.

I‘m not usually one for all that woo bollocks but honestly I cannot recommend it highly enough,

I can relate to this. Giving birth hurts but just was no where near as painful as I expected. It was on a par with period pains which I've had all my life and are quite painful and so I was used to dealing with that level of pain. It was managed with 2 paracetamol during the whole birth.

Wow, well I have learnt something new so thank you. I haven't met a single person that has said this. Now I am thinking because mine was so hideously awful (think near death x 2) that people aren't telling me their truth in case it makes me feel bad. Thanks for enlightening me that it can be a good experience :)

I think what this thread shows, is that the amount of pain you will experience is very unpredictable. My labour only felt at the "period pain" level mentioned by a pp, in the early stages, it then progressed quickly to become the most agonising experience of my life.

I have dislocated my knee in the past and would do that 10 times over rather than experience the same labour pain again.

My labour progressed fairly quickly though and I was told by the midwives that the reason I was in agony was because how quickly I had jumped in terms of cm dilated.

Sounds like it! Seems silly really. My friend had exactly the same experience as you but we talked very openly about our births as they were with weeks of each other. She’d be mortified if I lied to her because I didn’t want to upset her.

I'd say it's either a stealth brag (which would be ridiculous) or it's about feeling in control of your labour.

I found my first labour very shocking (it was also long) I had gas and air, pethidine and the epidural. Pethidine made me throw up and the epidural means you birth laying on your back (the slowest method) By the end I was not with it, struggling to push and needed an assisted delivery. With my second baby I knew what to expect, I stayed at home longer, had a bath and did tens machine, had a birthing ball. When I got to hospital I had gas and air, by that point I was 8cm so I persevered. It felt much better being in control and able to move freely. I had a similar experience with my third child.

Are we counting gas and air as medicated? If so I had one unmedicated. Mostly because by the time I got to hospital there was no time for anything. Ds just popped out. It was intense though.

worh dd labour was quick. But I had the gas and air to take the edge off. Again intense but this time I felt
more in control.

Is it judgey of me to think this is the case for many women who say it was a good experience, that they just don’t get that much pain? I simply cannot imagine thinking labour like I experienced it being a positive experience, as opposed to a hardship you have to get through to have a baby.

I disliked the uk system of only seeing a midwife who largely dismissed you as a person and was critical of my desire to give birth in the labour ward. I saw one doctor in my two pregnancies in the uk who treated me like a person, explained things like it mattered that I understood, and the appt with him was a totally different experience from the mostly poor midwife interactions. I moved back to Aust and booked with an obstetrician for a hospital birth and experienced a genuinely mother centric approach for the first time. So I have to disagree with this comment.

I think it's just different for everyone.

For me the contractions weren't that unmanageable. As someone else said, I found it similar to bad period pain, but also it's not constant. In-between contractions you get that bit of respite and you can psych yourself up for them. When I finally teacher the point where I was tiring and wanted more pain relief they checked and I was fully dilated. Huge surprise to the midwife because I was still so calm (and I'd gone from cervix closed to fully dilated in about 6 hours, somewhat unexpected). Crowning, on the other hand, did hurt like hell but it's over in seconds. I was proud of myself afterward but equally I could barely stand up so 🤷

It would depend if someone said to you maybe your pain threshhold isn’t very high. Would you find that fair?

My contractions were painful and intense but I’m still positive about my birth experiences. Being pregnant was a horrid. Labour I knew what I needed to do. I was also very lucky that my second 2 labours were pretty straight forward.

@Codlingmoths it was very painful. But not as bad as I expected due to having always had very painful periods. I wouldn't say I didn't get that much pain. Just that it was not as bad as I expected.

@Codlingmoths I was doubling over in pain during my contractions so I wouldn't say I didn't have much pain, it was just not as bad as what I expected, or as bad as what people say, and I certainly didn't feel like I needed more than just gas and air whilst I was pushing my son out. All the team who helped birth my baby (an emergency button was pressed and a few people came running in) all told me I must have a high pain threshold, as i was calm throughout (i was panicking inside though as baby was getting distressed). They see many mothers give birth, obviously, so I think maybe they are right. It reminded me of when I ran after breaking my ankle (i was a preteen and didnt realise at the time that it was broken, until it swelled up like a balloon!), so I think they were possibly right!