Could someone please help me understand what people mean when they say they loved giving birth unmedicated

[Firsttimemumpregnant]

Pregnant with my first baby and am very scared of giving birth. I'm trying to take a more positive view on labour and delivery, so trying to read a bit on positive birth etc. i keep hearing people mentioning how much they loved giving birth unmedicated and they wanted to do it again and again as it was amazing, felt so empowering etc. Could someone please explain to me how that feels and how is it possible even though it hurts like hell? I'm genuinely trying to understand as I have no previous experience and keen on hearing positive stories

I had both of mine with just gas and air, as they were so fast. Big babies, hideous back to back contractions and despite saying beforehand that I never wanted an epidural (as I was terrified of the idea of it leading to more interventions), I was then desperate for an epidural but didn’t have time for one either time! So play it by ear because you may start off feeling like you can cope and then get to the stage where you do want pain relief and all your previous ideas go out of the window.

I wouldn’t say I felt empowered (more desperate for it to be over to be honest!), I did feel sort of proud of myself after the first birth but that wasn’t because I’d done it without pain relief, it was because I had been soooo anxious about having a vaginal birth that I couldn’t believe afterwards that I’d actually done it (was close to opting for ELCS when pregnant).

What I did like though about only having gas and air, was that afterwards I could get up and walk around straight away as there were no drugs to wear off and after my second child I actually felt absolutely fine (physically- emotionally not so much as baby was whisked off to NICU) as soon as he was out. One of the midwives actually joked as I was walking down the corridor to NICU “Are you sure you’ve just given birth?” as I was walking so quickly and easily.

I had one epidural / forceps and one water birth on gas and air.

I was very tired and not really aware of the forceps delivery so don't really remember it.

The pain / power of the water birth kept me 100% in the moment and I remember it so much clearer 10 years later.

I'd compare them to a rollercoaster I suppose - with the gas and air yes I got to feel the worst of the pain / delivery but as a direct result I think the euphoria post delivery was so much more intense and long lasting.

With the epidural, it was like something being done to me rather than me doing it so the pain had gone but so did the climax / pay off.

it's like many other things - each circumstance is unique , and what works for one person at one time won't work another time or person.

At the end of the day ( or however long it takes ) a healthy baby and mother is all that matters

I had gas and air for pushing so not sure if that counts as unmedicated. But I'd do it that way again. Not just because I've forgotten the pain, I said it as soon as I was being stitched up! It hurt but it never felt unbearable, I felt I could cope with the pain. It was only a 4 hour labour so I appreciate that it's usually longer and most mothers probably feel exhausted after a much longer labour!

I was terrified of giving birth but in the end had a 48-hour labour without any pain relief apart from paracetamol on one of the nights. Look into hypnobirthing. It is incredible.

It's based on the premise that fear of giving birth will inevitably make it more painful. Your muscles tighten and you may go into fight-or-fight mode. If you stay relaxed, you allow your body to do what it's designed to do and, although it feels like hard physical work, it's not painful.

You do need to put the effort into practising the breathing techniques - I must have spent hours and hours doing them - but it does work so long as the birth is relatively straightforward.

To put it into perspective- if you give birth without pain relief (as I did), your mind is likely to be focused on the pain - because it does hurt a lot. If you have an epidural, you can focus on the fact that your baby is being born instead.

When I was pushing my babies out, all I could think about was - I just want this pain to end. Please make it stop. Once my babies were out, my first feeling was relief that the pain was finally over. That's all that mattered at the time.

I didn't choose to go without pain relief for my second and third babies but that's what it ended up happening.

I have no idea why pain relief is portrayed in this negative way. The percentage of issues derived from pain controlled procedures is tiny compared to the long-lasting mental health impact of traumatic births. It's very odd.

I would agree with "intense but productive". Yes, it hurt, but manageably so, and I could feel that I was achieving something with each contraction, that in fact my body knew what to do. And afterwards I felt I'd accomplished something incredible. I was both euphoric and utterly, utterly calm and present. I felt capable of achieving absolutely anything.

I didn't "love" my unmedicated births but found them primal and empowering. And immediately afterwards got some kind of massive natural high.

I had 2 pain relief free births and hypnobirthing was very helpful as was a water birth.
But honestly don’t let this define your baby’s early months. Just do whatever is best for you and the baby

my DD had an official 11 minute labour.. no time for pain meds, at one point in those eleven minutes she screamed 'i can't do it'... but she had no choice!

she now has PTSD! I'm fairly sure she will never be proud of her 'unmedicated birth' and will not be advocating it too her friends

I mean this gently but I think the best way you can prepare for birth is to accept that you might not get to choose what happens on the day.

Couldn’t agree more

I've had most kinds of birth I think. I had an unmedicated birth with dc1. It was intense but I loved it. The worst one was the elective c-section with dc4. But some people choose that option (I didn't, baby was breech.) We all prefer different things.

I think that's nonsense and I don't know anybody who feels like that. I've had a medicated labour and unmedicated. The unmedicated was undoubtedly the better of the two and I recovered very quickly. No I wouldn't want to do it again.

Absolutely this.

I think you just need to have an open mind and realise your birth plan is just that, a plan of how you'd ideally like things to go. It could end up going in a completely direction.

I wanted a water birth but there wasn't a birthing pool available. Had gas and air and then I had diamorphine (lovely feeling - can understand why people take heroin honestly!). But then DS became in distress and he needed to be out asap so I had an EMCS under general anaesthetic. I hadn't even considered a CS so just bear in mind that one may be medically necessary.

I had 2 quick labours and no time for pain relief even G&A. I honestly loved giving birth, I found it hugely empowering but I don't think it's because I did it "unmedicated". I was completely open to having an epidural the 1st time if I felt I needed one, the second time I had a planned home birth so didn't expect to have one. I don't see it as a badge of honour, it was the right thing for me.

It hurts, yes, but it's like nothing else and for me it didn't ever feel unmanageable. Breathing through contractions helped massively with the feeling of not losing control. I'd completely agree the closest things is like a marathon.

Hypnobirthing and reading positive birth stories helped me to look forward to my birth rather than dreading it.

how is it possible even though it hurts like hell?

I didn't find it empowering or anything. But I did give birth unmedicated twice because the gas and air made me queasy and I didn't think it made that much different to the pain. I just didn't find it unbearably painful, which is think is just how different bodies react I guess. I don't feel superior about it. Generally speaking I don't have a high pain threshold so not really sure why it wasn't horrific.

Everyone is different. Imagine 100 people eating the same meal, say a chicken stew, cooked by the same chef in a big old cooking pot. You will have 100 different experiences, some will find the stew tasty, some won't, it may be too salty for some, not salty enough for others. You get my gist.

Having gone through an extremely traumatic birth I would say it's best to arm yourself with the knowledge of all the options available to you and questions you can ask. I would say it is best when reading and doing research to stick with approved NHS resources and err on the side of caution of anyone not really qualified to advise on what is a highly medicalised process if you are giving birth in a healthcare environment (looking at you NCT teachers). Unless of course you are taking matters into your own hands and giving birth in a jungle somewhere. Then it probably is literally rainbows and butterflies but this was certainly not my experience.

My no-nonsense midwife told me 2 things at my first appointment that stayed with me -

That screaming and wailing is a waste of energy in labour (and it is frightening for other women in labour).

That the couples that show up with detailed birth plans, whale music and set ideas on natural births are usually the ones demanding all the drugs very quickly.

I have had unmedicatedlabours and births that were very fast. I was lucky that all was ok. It was a huge effort by my body and it wasn’t painful as such it didn’t hurt like a pain. What it felt like was the strongest feeling of muscle compression possible during the contractions. I was standing upright which helped. It’s the power of the body. My mind was not part of the process as I had no control over what my body was doing. I shouted out during the contractions like a weightlifter shouts when lifting weights except I shouted longer and louder. I also wanted to bite down on something. The hand I was holding on to at one moment looked perfect for this (but I didn’t do this). You are in a different mind set. It’s incredible to go through this and have no problems. I had medicated labours/births as well. You feel the same relief that your baby is fine in both situations. The best birth is one where you are fine and your baby is fine. No way is more empowering than the other imho. I had no complications and I think it’s luck really. The afterpains were painful though. They were worse than Labour/birth.

I guess I would've said that about my first labour. My body took over and I had a water birth within the hour. I felt in control and as though it was the most natural thing in the world. I had a very positive mindset, women having been doing this for years, body is designed for it, in Africa the ladies squat by the side of the road thing....etc etc. I genuinely said after that I'd had worse period pains! Everyone came out with the 'you must have a high pain threshold' guff... However...

My second labour, well ... Hurt like hell and I screamed so much they had to shut windows. I was not in a good frame of mind this time round and I put a lot of it down to that.

I dont usually post my positive birth story as its not always welcomed.

But since you asked! I loved all my births. I had gas and air and I found it brilliant. I felt very euphoric afterwards.

It was intense and fascinating and I got a lovely baby at the end of it. I was so pleased with myself! I did it 3 times.

There's lots of drugs and you'll have 1 to 1 care so you will be looked after. Good luck and enjoy meeting your baby 😀

I did hypnobirthing and just had gas and air for both my births- they still hurt like hell! I think the ‘labour/birth shouldn’t hurt’ message that a lot of hypnobirthing resources push is very misleading honestly.

I think some of the comments here saying women who say this must be lying, or it’s not true etc are a bit unfair. If that wasn’t your experience then fine, but you can’t say it was no one else’s.

I had my baby at home with no pain relief over a 48 hour labour. I wasn’t afraid of the pain. To me, having an epidural or another form of medication which would reduce my ability to listen to my body and move around was a way more terrifying prospect than pain.

I didn’t set out to have a unmedicated birth. I knew I wanted to labour in water, as I had read that women rated water very helpful for the pain. To guarantee I could do that I had a home birth. I used my TENS machine, and was ‘saving’ gas and air for when it got bad. Truly, it never felt that bad to me. It was very intense, and very powerful, but I always felt I could cope. I asked for gas and air at the very end, but baby was basically here by that point so there wasn’t time. It was nice not feeling ‘high’ or anything from any drugs and I remember the moment clear as day. And the endorphins when you’re done are INCREDIBLE. I raved to the midwives for a good hour about how incredible women are and how awesome I felt.

I believe that avoiding induction meant I was able to do that and have a birth that matched what my body could handle. My friends who were induced had much quicker births than me, but much much higher pain and had lots more medications.

But you won’t know how it feels or how you’ll cope until you’re there. You can make your plan, but be ready to change it if you need to. I didn’t know what it would feel like. I thought I would be able to manage, but if I hadn’t been managing, I’d have gone to hospital and got something stronger. I wasn’t holding out for any ideological reasons, it just so happened that for me, birth was fine and totally manageable.