Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

"crowning was THE most painful thing ever, I told the midwife I didn't want to do it any more because it hurt lol"

Haha! I apparently told my boyfriend that this wasn't going to work so could we please just give up now and just stop.

Also, I know you can't really prepare yourself, but personally I found listening to loads of different birth stories really helped as I felt like I knew a lot of different possibilities, which made me feel in control, so I think this is a great thing to ask about!

wanted drug free non monitored delivery, after three hours realised I wasnt the coping sort I naively believed I was.

offered epidural, took it, read Hello for 12 hours, popped baby out like a pea when they turned the epidural down so I could push.

my "horror" birth story became a brilliant birth story. it was great! and more importantly thanks to the monitoring that detected her decreasing heart rate my dd lived to tell the tale too.

still hope I will be a better "coper" next time round though

Oh yes, forgot to add that DS had decreasing heart rate too, and later turned out to have meconium in the waters, so I was glad in the end to have been strapped to a continuous monitor.

Also I only found out DS was back-to-back once I was in labour. Next time, I am going down on my knees for the whole 9 months of pregnancy to get that baby the right way round!

Coped better than I thought I would - have had 2 dc so far, no pain relief, mainly because I didn't fancy it, hoping for the same in 4wks time. They were homebirths, and relatively quick. The mindlessness of it is quite amazing. Didn't find crowning vs contractions much different pain-wise. With contractions there were just more of them!
Glad I didn't have an epidural.

"Breathe through your mouth, alot, it really helps. It really is all about the breathing."

"Then just pant, only pant, do nothing else, it justy happens while you pant and it's all done and you have your baby and the pain is already forgotten."

"You're going to be fine. Try your best to try and relax, stay calm and in control and as Mars said to me 'breathe your baby out' and enjoy this amazing unique wonderful experience."

These sort of comments make me feel very angry. Lucky you Thomcat, your births were lovely, but for a lot of us labour is hell and generalisations about just needing to breath are upsetting and patronising.

Much worse than I could have ever imagined - advice to relax and breath was shite. BUT I don't wish I had an epidural - I'm still more scared of a needle in my spine, even now.

Before labour, I couldn't bear the thought of a needle in my spine but during, the anesthetist could have done anything to me and as long as it would help the pain I wouldn't have minded.

Fully dilated at home in 7ish hours, just TENS and galloping up and down stairs for contractions. I found that only really the first half of the contraction was bad as for the second half of mine it was very distinctly getting better. Got in bath but hated it as too restrictive. Was very intense but I genuinely enjoyed feeling my instinct and my natural ability to cope with the pain kick in. I threw up a lot and needed the loo (both kinds, sorry TMI) with every contraction which I didn't enjoy - will NOT be eating curry this time (or steak pie and chips for tea 'for energy' mid-labour!)

Midwife came, examination (not too bad but more painful than expected), transition in ambulance (weird rather than awful, more puking). Got to hosp and was very insistent on waiting for the pool to run, took an hour and contractions were waning a bit (should have been pushing), that bit's hazy although I didn't have G&A owing to the nausea. Got in pool, contractions really manageable but didn't ever feel like it was about to happen. Was taken out after an hour and examined by registrar to find she was brow presentation, MW disagreed, cue syntocinon and then about three more examinations (this was BY FAR the worst pain of the whole thing) to try and establish a consensus. The synto bit was pretty unpleasant as contractions were v. painful but they were arguing about whether I would be able to have her naturally or not so I didn't know whether I should be trying to push. Eventually wheeled to theatre and given spinal block which was a blessed relief because she was distressed and I just wanted something to happen.

Had wanted no pain relief (do again this time - am 34+1 and want to use pool) but had decided to go in with an open mind. Was really delighted to find I could cope with and enjoyed coping with the pain. I have fond memories of being at home (entire first stage) though I do remember saying to DH 'I just didn't realise it would be this horrible' (as opposed to painful) which as I recall was to do with the vomiting.

Wish had had no spinal as couldn't hold DD immediately, had forceps and episiotomy etc., but hey, I don't think I would have got her out naturally and by that stage I was happy to sign the emergency c-section form as I was just so worried about the baby.

Sorry long, but... you did ask .

My contractions started very gently, they got to about 4-5 minutes apart (and still not what I would consider painful) so I decided to go to hospital for a check up. I was told I hadn't even started to dilate. This was 3pm. Went home feeling quite dejected and worried now about how bad it was going to get. Got in the bath and decided to try and forget about it all. Fell asleep in the bath! Woke up about 6pm and contractions were about a minute apart, still didn't feel like I needed pain relief. Thought I had better go back to hospital to be checked out - arrived at 6.30pm and DS was born at 7:15pm! No time for pain relief.

To answer your question, I was expecting it to be a lot worse (I was expecting to be asking for an epi) and I was amazed when I got to hospital the second time to be told it was nearly over. Don't get me wrong, it hurts hurts hurts when the head's crowning (I kept trying to close my legs, in the end DP was pulling one leg and a midwife the other to try and keep my legs apart . The ring of fire is over pretty quickly and when the baby is born it's all over and the pain's gone. I had gas and air when the midwife was stitching me up after an episiotomy.

Sorry, that was a bit of a ramble, but I would say don't be scared about it and if you can get in a warm bath as it's amazingly soothing.

Hey Starlight (am I predicable or what?!) - not too bad thanks. In the throws of moving house.

The thing is if anyone, at ANY point in my labour, had expected me to stay still enough to have a needle inserted in my spine... Well it would have been absolutely impossible.

Oh, and perhaps I should have read the OP first . Please don't be scared - it's all so worth it in the end. I have to say though, in my experience crowning pain is absolutely nothing to worry out. I was told the reason I couldn't push DS out was because I wasn't pushing through the "crowning pain". Erm no - the reason was he was busy rotating around inside me before he could be born. Cue agonising OP 2nd stage.

And of course, if you're needing an episiotomy you won't feel any crowing pain at all.

Crowning pain even!

Both of mine were easy: felt like nothing worse than a bit of constipation.
I recommend raspberry leaf tea, TENS machine and large feet!

ps I could feel her spine down my belly for the whole last month, she moved the day I went into labour! Had stupidly had a growth scan that day and found out she was OP (back to back) but clean forgot about it until about three days later.

I think the length has a lot to do with it - it may be (who can say?) more intense dilating quickly but I don't think there's any way I would have managed on TENS and activity if I was already -2 nights' sleep and had been in pain/confusion for two days like a lot of my friends.

I guess my primary advice would be to go into it with an open mind (whilst appraised of escalation risk etc.) - you have no idea how you'll feel and the last thing you want to put upon yourself is some kind of feeling that you've failed to stick to a rigid plan or you have let yourself down somehow. Don't compare yourself to others as (mercifully...) we all only ever experience our own labours.

I was induced and had a very long drawn out labour, but just stuck with gas and air, the idea of an injection for an epidural was too scary. The contractions did hurt but... I don't know, I don't think it was as bad as I thought. I never imagined that a baby could come out of me, and now I'm surprised he did, there still doesn't seem to be space down there! But maybe my memory's a bit unreliable, as labour took 26.5 hours and I had gas and air from about 8 am onwards, until the early hours of the next morning (ds finally turned up at 4.29 am).

Have just read on the other thread that you gave birth in the Ridgeway... me too (well, on the labour ward at CF actually, after being transferred for the epidural).

Was interested to read about your experience, I definitely had a patchy time on the Ridgeway depending mainly on which MW was on shift at the time!

Dear God, I've just re-read my posts. Please excuse the appalling typos - I blame the wine.

Remember a work colleague saying to me before I had dd "there are no medals for not having pain relief". I was planning the whole natural no drugs please approach but ended up with an epidural and emergency c section.

Its all so personal but my advice would be:

• lower your expectations. If you have a heavenly waterbirth - great. But if you both end up healthy and basically intact at the end of it be thrilled about that.

• visualistation really helped me. Imagining very intently that I was on holiday in India basically taking myself far away from the operating theatre.

• have an epidural if it gets too much. The pain just goes. It is heaven.

But have an epidural how? Sorry, but I just don't get how it can be done if the pain's that bad.

hotcheeseburns
thomcat is just sharing her personal experiences, like the rest of us are. I'm sorry if your birth experience wasn't like that but it's hardly thomcats fault is it

For me the first I thought would be alot easier than expected, but I was shouting for epidual at just 4 cms dilated.

So, prepared myself for horrendous second birth and got to 6 cms just being at home hip-rocking, breathing and watching TV and, when arrived in hospital, the maternity nurses were totally convinced I was not in labour (heard whispers that I should be sent home) but they did examine me and coyld not hide the surprise in their voice that I was a healtyh 6 cms on the way!

Did not even feel crowning so would say contractions worse. Crowning for me just felt like a hot sensation not especially painful and over really quickly.

It is hard but you can do it. For me, second delivery was pain relief free (except tens) and much much better than epidural experience.