Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

get a kids inflatable swimming circle thing to sit on for stitches (beg borrow in case) Definate go for partial epidural not full, and I vomittted when had nothing - ds2. The midwife said common. get hold of a tens machine!! does help especially early on.

I was baying for drugs and the anethatist was allegedly 'in theatre', surely midwife speak for out the back having a ciggie. By the time he ambled up it was too late and I had a 100% natural birth. No one more suprised than me. I spent the labour doing squat type thingies at the window sill (after demanding the bean bag etc which was RUBBISH)and then they had to wrestle me onto the bed for the delivery. Got away with one stich - buy yourself a detachable shower head if you don't have one....I have to say that I was pretty cynical about the body producing own pain relief (another midwife conspiracy or so I thought) but I did feel very detached towards the end, so possible it is true.

there might only be one or two aneasthatists, and if they are in theatre dealing with a crash c.s , they cannot come out to do an epidural!

these are the options for pain relief:

nothing

massage

water

TENS

aromathrapy

gas & air

opiates

epidural

a combination of some of the above

keeping mobile, moving, active and vocal is helpful too

it is not an epidural or nothing

i;ve probably forgotten some options..

1st one back to back, syntocin (sp) to increase contractions to turn baby, epidural, tried normal delivery, baby in distress due to cord around her neck, epidural top up and ventouse delivery, long and hard work. 2nd one first contraction 4pm left for hospital 6.10pm told and 6.30pm 7cm dilated, big baby and too late for epidural, DD2 born at 7.04pm 9lb1oz hand/arm at side of her head, only with gas and air.

Thanks everyone - a mixed bag, just as i expected! I dont really want an epidural, would like a water birth but we'll see.

Also I think what made DD2 so quick was my back was sore and I spent hours in the last couple of weeks sitting on a gym ball.

I had an epidural with dd (my first). and it wore off after an hour. agony.

with ds1 and ds2 I had nothing. and it was painful. but it was OK. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and it's bearable because the contractions build up gradually (which doesn't happen if your epidural wears off). I do remember though thinking "oh my god, I don't think I can do this" with both births, and that was just before they were born in both cases.

if I had another I'd go with the nothing option. you do get a medal, after all.

The contractions were soooo much better than I expected, managed at home with just tens. The worst bit was when I was in transition and we didn't recognise the classic textbook symptoms so didn't know how far on I was - MW not arrived yet at this stage! Crowning hurts more but in a different way to contractions, I think its fair to describe it as a sharper kind of pain - more intense but doesn't last as long. Having a waterbirth can reduce your likelihood of tearing and needing stitches - I didn't need any.

I didn't have an epidural and never regretted my decision.

Yes I was in pain, esp towards transition, and the head crowning bit hurts but at least you know it's all over bar the shouting by then. But I was never in distress, never terrified. That's the main thing. And I was well afterwards. I recommend TENS followed by waterbirth, but each to her own.

I think afterwards is the bit to worry about, not the delivery itself.

alos no matter how bad you find it, you will cope, the pain will stop, you forget how bad it was, then you go have another one

Lulu that is really good to know there are so many options.
And I like the idea of giving birth in a yurt - used to live near a community of tipi dwellers. However my BF is a midwife so will put my faith in the people she knows and recommends.

yep, there is a lot between nothing and an epidural

waterbirth ! see, i missed water off my list !

It wasn't as bad as I thought TBH and I didn't have a perfect time of it (nearly 2 days from contractions every 5 mins to birth including a ventouse after 2 hrs of pushing). When I was admitted I told the mw that I didn't think I was 'properly' in labour yet because I was expecting it to be absolutely unbearable given the horror stories I'd read. The mw examined me and told me I was 7cm! OK it wasn't painless but in MY case it was manageable with gas and ai and a great mw. Don't want to sound trite but of course birth is different and I would have been quite happy to have an epidural if things had been worse for me.

Whilst the contractions are still a few minutes apart, you have quite a bit of time where there is no pain at all and you can gather yourself and that helped a lot. Also I didn't actually find pushing painful at all, just harder work than I thought (and I was knackered after two days of no sleep hence ventouse).

Just go with an open mind and as much knowledge as possible.

just wanted to add that being tired will make any pain feel worse (not just childbirth-related ones) and more difficult to cope with. I wish I'd rested up and napped much more in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Have a sleep every afternoon if you can in case the baby decides to make an overnight appearance. It can make a big difference to how you experience and cope with the pain.

The reaction to the drugs are so individual. FWIW I had G&A, pethidine and an epidural (although only the G&A was my choice) and would have an epidural over the pethidine any day because I hated the spaced out feeling the pethidine gave me. Some people would love that though .

I dilated to 9cms at home using a tens then a birthing pool and g&a. I was then transferred to hospital for an emerg cs (but that is another story!)

I have to say that all the way through my contractions I never felt that I couldn't cope with the pain. I remember thinking 'I wonder how long this is going to take.' But I never felt overwhelmed by the pain. Probably because I dilated gradually rather than slowly or quickly.

I agree with others that the best thing you can do is know the pro's and con's of each method of pain relief before the big event as they may not be explained fully to you at the time, or you may not be in the right frame of mind to take in the information.

Good luck xx

Yes I saw a water birth vid at antenatal class. The "Jaws Moment" when the water went bloody post-birth was shocking (what did I expect?? ) but I really like the idea of it.

Epidurals now have less medication (sometimes called mobile or walking epidurals); it's great, you know when you're having contractions but it takes the worst pain off. You can still get up and go to the loo etc.
With my first I had no epidural, just gas and air, the pain was horrendous, much worse than I could ever have imagined. Baby had to be ventoused anyway.
Second time, I had the walking epidural which would have been fine, only baby was just wrongly positioned enough that I couldn't push him out, after two hours' pushing I had an emergency section.

Message withdrawn

With regards to the mobile epidural. Not all hospitals do them. I think it has someething to do with the skill of the person administering it and the amount they use. So don't rely on this being an option at every hospital.

I think mine (simpsons in edinburgh)does mobile epidurals. MW friend recommended it, but her second labour was pretty bad.

Contractions basically feel like menstural cramps times 1000. Crowning burns but is comes and goes very fast.

I'm glad I didn't have an epidural with either of my births. I like knowing that I felt every part of my birth from the first contraction to the second degree tears. It's like I feel more involved in the process.

Conractions are more painful. But you have to put up with more of that pain than you do crowning.

Tbh after giving birth 3 times, I much prefer not having pain relief and being "with it" and in control during and after the birth, than drugged up to my eyeballs thinking I'm going to die (totally ott but thats how I felt after my first).

At the end of the day whether you've given birth or not, everyone knows it hurts but it doesnt last forever.
You know why your body is going through pain. Its not like your stuck in a hospital in agony because you have some unknown problem iyswim.

But having said all that, thats just my opinion.
Everyone experiences birth differently.
Just try to relax, focus on the fact that you'll be finally seeing your firstborn and that it will end!

All the best.

i have given birth 5 times-the first 2 i had lots of drugs but the last 3 i only had G+A and did the breathing and i can honestly say that the last 3 were far less painful then the first 2.i didnt have the option of any epidural with any of mine so i cant comment on that,but i would advise against pethadine or anything else as IME all they do is make you feel drunk and too tired and woozy to listen to the MW's.i was scared and ought againinst every contractio,whereas with the last 3 i was relaxed and listened to my body.yes,it was painful,but it was manageable and in no way horrific.