Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

No other muscle in the body goes through anything like what the cervix goes through in labour, in such a short space of time so yes it is painful. There are lots of different types of pain relief, but an epidural is the only complete pain block. For me, gas and air took the edge off but it mainly made me feel woozy and in another world (sorry, but I also felt as though I was going to die at some points but in a detached "this is interesting" type of way). I've never experienced crowning without pain relief so can't advise about this. It must be a pretty amazing sensation!

first part of labour v.painful but got alot worse when i had syntocin which seemed to make the contractions so much more intensly painful and i do regret not having epidural as i have not forgotten the pain 2 years on, if in labour again i would want epidural if having syntocin, but if not then would not want one..

So DS1 was less painful than I thought it would be but that is because I had listened to all the people who had told me that I would feel like I was dying.. It hurt..oh yes, I used a tens machine.. I thought I ought to save stronger pain relief for when it got worse..
I got tired got in the birthing pool which felt like heaven my muscles relaxed it was lovely, contractions still hurt but I still didn't feel like I was about to die so held off the gas and air.
Started to feel the urge to push really strongly then the worst pain stinging searing pain but very localised in the fanjo..
then a few pushes later his head was out and I swore at him for hurting me.
Had to have gas and air to do my stitches as I couldn't relax enough to let her near me with the needle.
2nd time round contractions hurt ALOT more but he was facing the wrong way and hugh up at 5cms 1 hour later he had turned round and was out so I guess it was the same quantity of pain in a shorter period of time.

No I don't wish I had had an epidural.

Good luck!!

Bearmama - I gave birth to our little DD at Simpson's in December. We had planned a home birth so I was disappointed to go 15 days overdue, and have to go into hospital fo an induction - tbh I was quite scared about the labour during the last 2 weeks of pg, but although i found it quite turbulent at times (shaking in transition etc), I wouldn't be scared to go through it again.
I actually ended up with a forceps delivery which required a spinal anaesthetic before dd was delivered (2 contractions after they administered the anaesthetic) and feel very disappointed that I couldn't feel the sensation of actually pushing her out, when a few seconds before I had been gloriously aware of her head coming down.
Up until the point that they decided I couldn't push for more than an hour without some assistance I had managed on just some gas and air which i started during transition - i felt the pain was manageable and although my memories of my labour are bizarre and patchy in places I would absolutely not be scared to do it again.
Hope that helps!

Personally I found contractions worse than the crowning - crowning meant it was nearly all over

I have never had an epidural so can't comment
I am happy to have not had one but maybe I would have had a nicer time

I'm one of those annoying women that managed very well with only water for pain relief. My muscles worked very hard, I stayed on my feet (even walked the dog during early labour), breathed as if I was doing sport and was generally quite calm. I'm always splendidly sick too which tends to move things along quicker! Finished labour/gave birth in water. Twice in midwife-led unit and once at home. Due to give birth at home again in 10 weeks.

Crowning did hurt but in a good way because it meant I'd nearly finished and ditto what 3NAB said about 'once shoulders are out' it's all over. My placentas just fall out without me needing to push, which apparently some women have to.

I actually found the post-birth recovery more unpleasant than the birth. I was sore for weeks after 1st child but that has improved. On the other hand, since 2nd child I've had terrible after-pains whilst b/feeding.

SM - yes i have, thank you. I just wanted to hear birth experiences specifically.

I was TERRIFIED of the pain - am sure my mother's experiences, explained ad nauseum when I was a kid, put me off having my own.

Therefore it was nothing like as bad as I had expected. I was contracting every 4mins within an hour of starting and they made it physically hard to breathe but didn't hurt a jot. It was exhausting, and my dh assures me it did hurt, although I have absolutely no memory of this. (I do remember having to concentrate furiously during contractions, and going to sleep between them, and I remember the pushing stage being very intense, but I don't remember ever thinking, fuck that hurts, iykwim.*)

This may be because, although I was fully dilated after 8hrs and pushed like billy-o for 2hrs, ds remained lodged somewhere up near my ribs until we all gave up and they cut him out.

I had some gas and air somewhere near the middle, but quit after a short while as it stopped me being able to concentrate.

(* = Except when this one doctor, with giant hands made of concrete, decided to inspect my liver through my fanjo while I was pushing. Then I believe I was shouting "ow ow fucking ow" )

I don't remember the crowning hurting at all, more just a sensation of stretching incredibly. Plus with 4th baby I really felt the uterus spasming down -- pushing him out. That's when the pain actually stopped, when the contractions were doing what they should do.

Contrax for 2-6 hours before the actual birth, on the other hand, they hurt like I can't explain how much.

I managed on only G&A with the 4 DC I have, but I think if I ever went thru it again I'd have an epidural, personally. I've done my bit for hippy low intervention homebirths, ta much!

ara - how did you rate Simpsons?

Contractions more painful than I could ever have imagined (sorry) BUT DD was back to back. Understand this can maKe things more painful.... Epidural was fantastic - don't know what I would have done without it. Gas and air just made me vomit (doesn't happen to everyone). Pushing not too bad (epidural worn off by then). Still the most exciting, wonderful thing that has ever happened to me . Good luck!

I'm also one of those annoying ones, 3 labours, all tens then pool. g&a just doesn't agree with me as I found with my 1st.

The local hospital scares me, so had 1st at cottage hosp, then homebirths.

I actually enjoy my labours, and am planning my 4th already (don't tell dh, dd2 only 17 days!) so I can't say it hurt, but I remember a point of thinking I remember now, I really don't want to be herre any more.

First time round, during childbirth, I kept thinking, 'it's going to get worse than this" and I kept thinking it at most stages, but then I was actually pushing her out and it never did get worse.

Had 2 more babies since and the births got better and better.

The contractions - I was excited about them with DD3 as it meant that each time I had a contraction I was a step nearer having my baby, each contraction had was one I'd never have to have again and they were doing their job.

i could literally feel my pelvis expanding and the head coming down and just was blown away by how amazing us women are.

Every single one of us here on this planet is here because in some way shape or form someone gave birth to us. This is what we were made for, what our bodies are designed for.

As long as I sort of stuck my bum up and out by holding onto table, bed, wherever, and circled those hips, didn't get scared, I was fine and enjoying things.

The pushing part - well first off if it feels like the baby is going to be born out of your backside, don't panic, it won't, it just feels like that! It's ok to feel like that, don't whateer you do tense up. Breathe through your mouth, alot, it really helps. It really is all about the breathing.

As the head crown it may well feel like someone has a bunsen burner aimed at your mary, again - normal. It'll pass and as it does so will that beautiful newborn head.

Then just pant, only pant, do nothing else, it justy happens while you pant and it's all done and you have your baby and the pain is already forgotten.

You're going to be fine. Try your best to try and relax, stay calm and in control and as Mars said to me 'breathe your baby out' and enjoy this amazing unique wonderful experience.

I was a "rather not know" type. I did do Anti natal and BFing class etc. and from that made my decision to try for TENS, followed by a water birth aided with G&A.

Went mostly to plan but no Birth pool just a big bath which I laboured in for about 5 hours (a bit of a slow labour, 26 hours start to finish). I found the contractions the worst. As someone else said; by the time I was pushing and she crowned I could see the end and had stopped the G&A as it was making me feel too drunk to concentrate on what I needed to do. I think that because I has so many contractions I was beginning to feel worn out and a bit "bored" with the whole experience

DD was born on a Birthing stool (great invention!) with DP behind me as support and 2 midwives to deliver her (it was shift change so I was lucky). The best thing is that afterwards the Midwives praise all your efforts and tell you very sincerely how well you did. I thought it was just me but they do it to everyone.

Be prepared for the fact that Sky news will not announce your new arrival on the news, I was very dissapointed

Good Luck with the Birth, I will watch the Birth Announcements

lovely post Thomcat

early ctx not so bad at all, then a point when it took my breath away, panicked a bit, but once I calmed down the ctx were manageable. really incredibly painful but manageable. i remember looking down and seeing myself flexing my toes and thinking 'oh, that's toe curlingly painful!'.
otoh, crowning did not hurt at all, all pain went completely and I was totally and utterly focused on what I was doing, like a fog had lifted and I could think clearly again all of a sudden. most odd but it was like that with ds2 and dd so must be something to do with the way I labour

It was so much better than I expected. I just had gas and air and although I didn't want an epidural particularly, I would absolutely have had one if I'd felt I needed it. I was quite keen on trying pethidine but in the end I was so focused on everything that was going on inside me that I never thought to ask for any! My labour was 17 hours from first twinges to actual baby (first baby) and really, it was only seriously painful in the last few hours.

My advice would be to keep mobile as much as you can. I found (I know this sounds odd) that crawling up the stairs at home moaning gently was bizarrely helpful. Also, getting on all fours and rocking backwards and forwards was really oddly calming and nice. In fact, the whole experience was so much perfectly okay that I only arrived at hospital when I was actually in transition.

I did have one blinding moment of clarity about five minutes before my daughter was born when I remember thinking 'I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN, HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE HAVE TWO CHILDREN, ARE THEY MAD'. But I'm eagerly trying to conceive number two now, so it clearly wasn't as bad as all that!

Crowning pain was definitely the worst but it doesn't last long, honestly, and once it's over it's really really properly over.

I think I was mostly surprised by how tender everything felt afterwards (yes, I know, am a bit thick).

first time round it was horrible. felt awful, went to hosp too early, had all the gas and air and then pethidine. when pethidine wore off it was excrutiating and I had an epidural, which led to a lot more intervention

second time round i had a fantastic homebirth.
I stayed a lot more active, walking helped ease the pain of contractions.
I stayed upright the whole way through and used a birthing pool which was lovely for easing the pain,.
contractions were painful, but i did a lot of research on positive thinking and used that and distraction techniques to get through them,
crowning was THE most painful thing ever, I told the midwife I didn't want to do it any more because it hurt lol
just when you think it's at its worst though it's over, I popped out a 9lb 5oz baby, who was back to back, and had no pain relief whatsoever.

so, 2 very different births. i was so proud of mysxelf second time around and the experience has made me want number 3 already lol

I did end up with an epidural after 42 hours of back-to-back labour left me only 3cm dilated. I wouldn't say the epi was without its drawbacks but I was an absolute wreck by that point and have never been so grateful to anyone as the anaesthetist!

Personally I felt woefully unprepared for the amount and intensity (and duration) of the pain. But I'm not sure if it would have helped if I'd known how awful it could be. I remember after about 12 hours of labour I went in to hospital only to be sent back home by a MW who said dismissively, "That's not pain, I've seen women crying and begging for an epidural". At the time I thought it was quite painful enough, but 24 hours later I was one of the crying women .

However, I would do it all again tomorrow, just goes to show that you get through it and get over it.

really hadn't wanted an epidural, hoped for water birth, but when I was told (after 20+ hours of contractions) an examination was going to be painful, after an earlier one that no-one had said would be painful but was I demanded an epidural. It was fine, and I'm glad I had it. Tens machine got me through about the first 10 hours nicely. The contractions weren't as bad as I'd expected and was already 6-7cms dilated when I went to hospital.

I used TENS and then birthing pool and that was it, but it was a fairly short 1st labour (16.5 hours from first contraction to birth) so I can't comment on how I'd have coped with a long one. local for stitches and was so high having just had totally natural birth that I giggled all the way through that bit... best thing I did was practise making low noises and getting used to not being embarrassed about making a noise. If you make high noises it automatically tenses your muscles which doesn't help, where as low ones (like a cow mooing!) relax you - give it a try and I'm sure you'll see what I mean. Also did the ironing sitting on my ball during the early stages which I'm sure helped keep everything relaxed.