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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

351 replies

BearMama · 15/03/2008 14:55

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Divastrop · 15/03/2008 16:22

my typing is atrocious

fought against the contractions

bloody new keyboard

pelafina · 15/03/2008 16:22

Message withdrawn

bohemianbint · 15/03/2008 16:24

I have to say that it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it was going to be. ( I was very phobic and had built it up over years.) I had hypnobirthing lessons though and they really, really helped. I won't lie, it's pretty full on but it was never more than I could cope with and I only had gas and air in the first part. The second stage I wasn't allowed to have it, but it wasn't as bad as the first stage, just hard work...

pelafina · 15/03/2008 16:24

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 15/03/2008 16:39

Tatties · 15/03/2008 16:55

For me contractions during early labour and transition were much worse, I was very tense and didn't cope very well with the pain at all so had pethidine which knocked me out for a bit. When that wore off I was at the point where I thought I couldn't cope with the pain and asked for an epidural - but on examination I was found to be fully dilated so it was too late. I found pushing with gas and air (and then later without when it was taken off me!) completely different to the earlier contractions; and although it was very hard work it wasn't as painful. When I pushed I could feel the pain go momentarily. I don't recall crowning being particularly bad in comparison to the rest of it tbh, but a very strange sensation when ds's head was out and he was wriggling!

FrannyandZooey · 15/03/2008 16:59

It was worse than I expected, but with g+a was manageable
however I did end up having an epidural
I regret this as I don't know how much it contributed to very difficult delivery, episiotomy and difficult recovery from episiotomy
I spent most of labout on back btw and ds was back to back and the pain was quite bad
wish someone has suggested different things to me to deal with pain rather than 'oh it's a big first baby you need an epidural'

Original poster

BearMama · 15/03/2008 17:07

Well I dont know if this will help any but whenever I'm experiencing any discomfort (ie when DD feels like a bowling ball pressing on my pelvic bone), I make myself physically relax. It does help. Hoping I can apply that principle to labour, having an attitude to pain already in place as it were...

OP posts:

pickie · 15/03/2008 17:10

DS was ok, easy straight forward waterbirth. I imagined the pain to be bery high and it was ok. Contractions much more painfull then pushing/crowning.

DD - PAINFUL- they heard me screaming 3 houses down, luckily she was born at 3pm so not many people around! Again pushing/crowning ok but contractions were very painful

spugs · 15/03/2008 17:10

with my first, i found it very painful with the crowning being the worst. however i was totally unprepared for what labour would be like and couldnt imagine it being that painful i did manage on g&a and meptid though.

with dd2 i was much more prepared, kept active instead of lying down for the whole thing and gave birth in an upright position. i also trusted my body and natural instincts a lot more and though it was still very painful i felt much more in control which definitly helped.

TuttiFrutti · 15/03/2008 17:12

My experience was exactly like Dottydot's at the beginning of this thread: much, much worse than I had imagined. My labour was also induced, ending in an emergency c-section. It was so bad I really thought I was going to die and at some points hoped I would (sorry to tell you this, but you did ask!).

BUT I would agree with previous posts that all experiences of labour vary widely. Some women don't find it that painful.

Also, being induced seems to make the contractions worse. A friend of mine got through her first labour with breathing techniques, then was induced for her second and needed an epidural because the pain was so much worse.

becklespeckle · 15/03/2008 17:16

Crowning is definitely the most painful but but as someone else said, once the shoulders pop out the pain is instabtly gone - fantastic feeling. During my labour with DD I told MW I didn;t want an epidural. Once the contractions got closer together I kept asking for one and MW said it was too late. Afterwards I was soooo glad I didn't have one as I was able to get up and have a lovely lovely bath...

CatIsSleepy · 15/03/2008 17:17

tis obviously a very individual thing...

i was induced in the end and had always assumed I would need/get an epidural in this event but it was actually scarcely mentioned....and anyway I found I could cope with gas and air ok, plus bellowing v. loudly

worst pain was when I was getting the urge to push

in some ways it wasn't as bad as I'd thought, the worst thing was I was bad at pushing-didn't seem to be doing it right and it was v. frustrating as well as taking far too long

I think basically you never know what to expect and have to be prepared for anything!

Niecie · 15/03/2008 17:27

I haven't read the whole thread but in answer to your question yes I a very glad I had an epidural the first time. It took away the fear and gave me back control. I could take an interest in what was going on rather than being focussed on the pain.

On the other hand I had forceps delivery and I will never know if that would have been necessary if I hadn't had the epidural.

Second time around I didn't have one and I didn't need one. It took a quarter of the time and I knew what was happening so I wasn't at all scared. DS2 was born in a hurry at home with the aid of a paramedic who got to me with about 2 minutes to spare. I was kneeling and I didn't need to push him out. About 5 contractions, one half hearted push (I was waiting for the ambulance crew so didn't want to push too much) and he was out. I didn't feel any different pain on crowning. I had a small tear where my previous episiotomy had been and I didn't feel that either. I wonder if I didn't get crowing pain because I wasn't pushing.

There is no point me saying don't be scared because you will be but you are doing the right thing by getting as much info as possible. Knowledge is power and if you know how your body is working it really does help ime.

I think first time, round when your labour is likely to be slower than subsequent labours you are right to consider your pain relief options. I didn't have any for my second labour but it was only 4.5 hours, beginning to end and only about 1 hour of serious labour. Knowing how I was feeling first time round after 8 hours of labour with another 8 in front of me I know that the epidrual was the right thing to do that time because I know I wouldn't have got through it without something.

Good luck with your baby. I hope everything goes really well for you.

Original poster

BearMama · 15/03/2008 18:04

Thanks Niecie. I do think knowledge is power and I'm not any more scared reading these accounts - even the horrendous ones.

OP posts:

VintageGardenia · 15/03/2008 18:12

I have found this thread really interesting. Due in August after a ten-year gap and REALLY apprehensive. I have asked mw and consultant for that Lulumama list - here's what's available - and I have found it hard to get information.

I had an epi last time but wore off so felt pushing etc but can't be sure how dulled it was, if that makes sense, if dulled at all. Also had LONG lasting effects of epidural including a numb thigh (approx 2 years) and stranger effects harder to describe but only dealt with by cranio-sacral treatment last year. Terrified of labour but terrified of epidural .

So thanks for this thread, upon which I lurk with fascination.

pagwatch · 15/03/2008 18:19

I didn't have any pain relief at all (- except with last birth when I had gas and air).
Not a deliberate choice BTW - just the way things turned out.
Yes it was painful but actually it was more frickin hard work. The effort involved took my mind off the pain iyswim.

The only way I can describe it is if I had to run a mile I would spend the whole time focussed on the fact that I hate running and I have stitch. If I was chasing someone who was running off with my child I don't think I would be terribly focussed on the stitch !

. if you see what i mean !

VintageGardenia · 15/03/2008 18:23

pagwatch I know what you mean in that it doesn't occur to one NOT to deal with the pain. If that is not incompatible with what I have already posted.

Yorky · 15/03/2008 18:44

Bearmama - your current relaxing attitude to pain sounds like it will stand you in good stead in labour, if in doubt - keep breathing

hotCheeseBurns · 15/03/2008 18:48

Brief answer: It was a million squillion times worse than I expected and I am so so so glad I was able to have an epidural.

hotCheeseBurns · 15/03/2008 18:50

Having discussed and read long discussions about labour pains on mumsnet my conclusion is that everyone experiences it and deals with it differently and all you can do is hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

c4it · 15/03/2008 18:52

I had an epi with DD1 and whilst at the time I could have cheerfully proposed to the aneastheist (sp?) it buggered my back and I have spent over a year of osteo treatment (paying for myself cos not avail on NHS) to get it anywhere near right.

Now I'm 39 +1 and determined not to have one this time round.

I guess you would have to make the decision at the time, but make sure you explore all the options and understand any possible reprecusions.

Good luck X

Original poster

BearMama · 15/03/2008 18:55

Yes I agree. I have my 200c Arnica at the ready for afterwards at least.

OP posts:

detoxdiva · 15/03/2008 18:59

You can't imagine or describe the pain - I thought contractions were bad until the head crowned, but the fact that you are so close to meeting your baby after 40 weeks is what you need to focus on.

I had gas and air, and although I asked for an epidural, the anaesthetist was busy and, I am now glad that I didn't have one. I liked being able to get up out of bed and move around, and to be able to get up have a shower straight after the birth. I would def try and do the same with no. 2.

My advice to you...keep focused, breathe deeply and slowly, and listen to the midwife.

Good luck

Summerfruit · 15/03/2008 19:00

Message withdrawn

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