Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

Just wanted to second what Grouphug said. Breastfeeing was also the worst pain I have ever ever experienced, giving birth didn´t have a patch on it (and positive thinking didn´t help at all ; )

I had an epidural with my first - it was great! It hadn't worn off when I came to push but actually I think that helped as I could push without it hurting. When I had my second I just had gas and air, and coped OK despite it being quite a long labour. But the pushing was agony - I found that to be the worst bit and my pelvic floor was bruised black afterwards whereas I had none of that with baby no1.

When it came to baby no 3 I just used a tens machine and had gas and air for one contraction!! She then just kind of fell out - I was standing up at the time and hadn't even taken my knickers off!!

I think the main thing is to try not to be scared, although that is easier said than done when its your first. Fear and anxiety make it all much worse.I've also heard good things about hynobirthing where you learn to dissociate, ie switch yourself off mentally from the pain. But its probably too late for you to learn that now bearmama. Maybe you could use that next time!!

It was nowhere near as bad as I'd imagined. Without a doubt though I have never ever experienced pain like it, but I had thought that I wouldn't be able to cope- but I did, so it couldn't have been as bad as all that! GOod luck x

PS didn't feel crowning at all (odd maybe) so contrations worse ime.

BigBlueHat I did get a hypnobirthing book but found it difficult to concentrate. I did pick up that the key seemed to be relaxation plus understanding what your body was doing IYSWIM.

The pain is what you make of it, positive mindsets really do work!

I think the best advice I would give is to go with an open mind. Keep your options open, if you feel you can't cope ask for help, you will be a better woman for it.

Two things helped me the most, Yoga breathing and my tens machine. Combined they got me through to 10cm dilated! The rest was down to the support and efficiency of the midwives and the epidural! It helped to give me a rest and cope better with what came later. It was partial so I could feel enough to be with it and enough not be out of my mind with pain.

Good luck and don't worry - it all works out for the best!

To be honest it is very, very painful but just keep thinking at the end of all this i will hold my beautiful baby!
I used tens machine which was good for back pain (didnt realise it was working until it jammed, then i knew!).
I used gas and air, best thing ever, definately recommend it. Make sure to get your breathing right too it def helps.

I used pethidine on Ds 3 years ago but got it too late and was spaced for pushing so didnt do it right, would not recommend it at all so skipped it for Dd 6 months ago and felt much more in control of my pushing!

Didnt have epidural either time, i asked for it too late on both, when i was 8 cm so obviously couldnt have it!
Glad i didnt cos in ireland we only have the epidural which confines you to bed, so that wouldnt have been great!

Labour pains worse than crowning, midwife told me the best pain relief is pushing and it soooooooooooo is!
Good luck, try to relax and i hope all goes well for you xxx

Best advice I was given was the most simple advice. At an ante-natal class (which was memorable only for the cardboard cervix we had to feel), we were told to breathe. In through the nose while counting four, and out through the mouth while counting another four - very slowly. I thought it was far too simple to be effective, but decided (on the day) that it was worth a try anyway (I'm an emetophobe, and was too scared of potential sickness side-effects of any drugs - and in any case, it was intended to be a home birth, so an epidural wasn't available).

This breathing (and TENS machine) got me through almost 12 hours of labour before I was transferred to hospital. By the time I was transferred, my DS had been seriously stuck with his head visible for about 5 hours, so the pain was considerable. I ended up with an epidural for an assisted delivery - but I swear to this day that I would have got through it just with the breathing /TENS combination if he hadn't been so seriously stuck! (It took three attempts at an instrumental delivery to get him out, which is a definite mark of stuck-ness).

I should add that I was absolutely convinced that I would get through it, however much it hurt. Yes, it does hurt a lot, but you find that you just get on with it. Breathing gives you something to focus on, and I think it probably does help to relax you. Once you panic (as I did when I knew things were going wrong), it's a whole lot more painful!

But as gula says, the best thing is to be open-minded. Nobody knows how they'll cope until they're in that situation, and there's no point being dogmatic or refusing anything on principle. What you want is the best possible outcome for you and your baby, even if you don't take your planned route to achieve it. Good luck!

I loved labour!!

It was a very special time, I completely welcomed the event. After 9 months of throwing up labour was a brease. I contracted 4-5 in 10, lasting about 50-60 seconds over 25 hours (and 2 short periods of contracting 1 in 10) so I had my fair share of contractions. My established labour was 7 hours and the contractions felt no more painful in this time.
I used a TENS machine and this did help, gas and air was great too. I remained mobile and used a birthing ball, I saw the pain as something positive, it was brining my much wanted baby to me.

When my baby's head was crowning I was actually smiling and can remember thinking at the time that it did not hurt as much as I thought that it would.

I know that some people would think that I am mad for feeling this way about my labour but it is nice to hear a positive story.

I wish you all the best of luck with your labourxx.

hello everyone! I was wondering, do you follow the pattern of your mother's labour? My mam had quite short labours with both my sister and I so here's hoping!

I had an epidural for number one and as soon as that kicked in, I didn't feel anything. She stillslipped out easily enough. They told me when to push.

With number two I had no pain relief, and it was absolutely horrendous. Pain beyond my wildest nightmare. But. It's a positive pain. You are not traumatised aftewards. If you had that level of pain, from say a car crash, it would be so much worse. As soon as I was stitched up I felt euphoric. You would never normally feel euphoric after such awful pain. So I'd say have an epidural if possible, and if not, I'm not going to lie to you, it hurts like nothing on earth, but you'll get through it. Nicole Richie has given birth. Imagine that. Does that help??

Be cautious in choosing to have an epidural just because someone has recommended it. Their choice to have one was right for them.

Finding out about the different pain relief options prior to labour is always a good idea, you can then go with the flow once you are there.

Labour is so individual.

I had an epidural with the first and was so grateful at the time, I had a reprieve of 4.5 hours of NO pain I was playing cards with DH and laughing and joking...but it wore off somewhat and I could feel contractions etc. Those contractions did hurt but about the same as the worst period cramps ever. The crowning was incredible pressure but didn't really hurt. Then it's all over so quickly anyway.

With no 2 I had nothing. Gave birth in Germany where there is no gas an air so had a stress ball (yes, if I'd have had the language skills I'd have told the midwife where to put that stress ball...ha ha) and it was not as bad as I thought. Much better actually. Made me think did I really need the epidural the first time?? I guess I'll never know.

If I was doing it again (which I won't) I'd go for no epidural.

Ha ha. EarthMummy, your screen name says it all. Whale music and scented candles are not going to even touch the pain of childbirth. An epidural will.

I think all these accounts should be published for a wider audience. Even the "scary" accounts shouldnt freak people out to much because there is so much to take from all the stories here. Sounds like some lucky people had plenty of endorphins on the day.

I agree BearMama, as horrendously painful as my son's birth was, I wasn't at all traumatised after it. That's the amazing part. That should partly reassure a childbirth virgin??!???

I had an epidural with my first 3 children because i really believed i wouldnt be able to cope with the pain, all deliveries were problem free but i still felt i had no control. With my fourth i had a fantastic midwife who suggested not only could i deliver without any pain relief but i should really consider a home birth. I took her advice and armed with some aromatherapy oils and a birthing ball did just that. It was the most wonderful experience i have ever had, yes it hurt but i went with the pain rather than fight it, stayed mobile right until the last moment and would love to do it again (Husband permitting!)

What does that mean, you went with the pain? Can you explain that?

I've also given birth without pain relief, and I coped, because I had to. I'm not sure that I could have differentiated between going with the pain or going against the pain

I mean i didnt try to stop the pain like i had in my previous 3 labours. I treated the pain in a more positive way because what it actually means is you are about to meet your baby and your body is helping you to achieve that. After 3 epidurals when my mw suggested i get by with only aromatherapy i thought she was completely mad! But the mind is a very powerful thing and with her support and my husbands i truly believed i could do it. Im not suggesting this would work for a first pregnancy but once you know that the pain doesnt actually kill you it is possible to work with it!

I think I understand you. With my first I was not just in pain, but I was terrified that I was in so much pain. You simply never experience pain like that without there being something terribly wrong. With labour #2, I was still in pain, awful pain, but I knew it wasn't going to kill me. Also, I knew that there was a baby coming! With labour number one I think I was a little detached from that seemingly obvious conclusion.

I found the contractions were so painful i found it difficult to breath. i asked for an epidural at 5 cms but the aneasthetist was busy elsewhere so couldn't have it The midwife told me to kneel or walk around but i was so tired that i could barely move. I (stupidly) believed that once i was pushing and the baby was crowning that the pain was less but if anything it was worse, very stingy! Sorry i know this isn't what you want to hear but its only a day out of your life.
I know that some people believe that epidurals mean that the labour will be longer but i personally think that whatever gets you through is best for you.And epidurals don't effect the baby like pethidine (sp?) does.I find childbirth is soooo painful that to be honest if i have any more kids i would love to be knocked out and they can wake me up once the baby is out! I would quite happily bypass the childbirth torture "experience". But i'm probably just a wuss and you'll just pop yours out no bother!

MoodyMammy, I had a friend who was booked in for a cs, there was some complication and she lost consciousness but everything was fine. She just woke up with a baby! BUT she was convinced she'd missed out on something glorious! I tried to disabuse her of that idea, but she feels cheated....?

"I know that some people believe that epidurals mean that the labour will be longer but i personally think that whatever gets you through is best for you.And epidurals don't effect the baby like pethidine (sp?) does.I find childbirth is soooo painful that to be honest if i have any more kids i would love to be knocked out and they can wake me up once the baby is out! I would quite happily bypass the childbirth torture "experience". But i'm probably just a wuss and you'll just pop yours out no bother!"

ditto

ditto, too, moodymammy!

Haven't read all the posts but thought I'd chip in with my experience. I was really cheerful throughout labour and found it really exciting and fascinating! Got induced so the contractions came thick and fast but had only breathing and screaming as pain relief for first six hours as they were short staffed. Got the TENS machine on after six hours and used that plus screaming for next hour. Went into delivery room and kept TENS machine on, got gas and air and kept screaming for next five hours. The yelling REALLY helps...it's like when you stub your toe if you yell then it doesn't hurt as much; I guess it's the same as breathing out-it hurts less whilst breathing out, but I decided to breathe out REALLY LOUDLY. Must have scared the be-jesus out of the other women waiting in their cubicles for their pessaries to work. And I kept a bloody tight grip on that TENs machine button- have no idea if it helped any but gave me something to squeeze! Apart from Dh's arm which I also squeezed to death and also hit him once but that was because he got in the way of me staring intensely at a spot on the wall and picturing myself in a nicer place ( I imagined myself in a beautiful field sitting under an oak tree with my old dog) It truely worked I pictured myself somewhere calm, beautifl and lovely and it really worked-I do it now when I'm getting my bikni line waxed . DH leant in and asked me if I wanted some Ribena right in the middle of my staring at the spot on the wall so i had to just slap him out of the way as i wasn't capable of speech. Even when they were wheeling me in to surgery (DS's head was too big-had to come out the sunroof) I was pretty happy and cracking jokes, don't know if it was the gas and air or the adrenelin. I remember doing a big long yell as they wheeled me fast down a corridor and thinking to myself "I sound like someone falling off the World Trade Centre" I mean it was definately painful but there are loads of tricks to take your mind off it.