Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

BearMama - it's not all bad, I promise.

I can THOROUGHLY recommend pethadine. I felt the pain but seriously, it was no worse than period pain. I was in labour for 22 hours which sounds horrendously scary but time literally flew by. I genuinely wasn't aware of time at all really.

I had a visual plan which kept me focussed and amused. Mine was about a wee penguin struggling to get over waves (of pain). When my labour didn't progress I was laughing at myself thinking that the DVD of the penguin had got stuck.(Pethadine - gotta love it!)

I ended up having a low grade 'emergency' c-section which was remarkably better than I could ever have thought too. Yes, it's a bit uncomfortable for about a week but totally manageable.

Try not to focus on the pain in advance, it really is such a unique experience for everyone. I suggest you focus on meeting your wonderful baby for the first time. It's simply magical and just gets better and better as time goes on. Good luck m'dear!

I had a natural labour for my first and did find the TENS was wonderful in getting those endomorphins flowing which do dull the pain for you (as did the gas I had later), I found it very effective in the early stages. By the time I took it off I was too late for an epdidural, would have had one given the chance as it did hurt but in the end I am so glad I didn't as it does increase your chances of intervention (forceps, ventouse) whereas without it I had an active labour and was able to push her out myself with no help. Also the recovery period afterwards compared to the 2 C-sections I had later was amazing. And the adrenalin high you feel afterwards is something else . I did feel her crowning but was so overwhelmed with the contractions at this point that it didn't bother me. I think the key is try to relax, the more you relax the less it hurts, I did some brilliant breathing exercises as part of my antenatal classes which I would strongly recommend, they were very good at helping me cope with the pain also and I am the world's biggest wuss!

Yes it hurt but then my first labour was really quick and intense. I had gas and air (wonderful as sucking on the tube really gives you something to focus on) and do remember thinking that my son would be an only child when I was going through it.

What didn't help is that the bloody midwives kept telling me I was only 2 cm dilated and in early labour and not going to give birth til the next morning (it was only 7pm). I then took a shot of pethidine because I thought bloody hell cannot go through this all night.

Wish I hadn't now as I was actually 10cm and baby was born 2 hours later - drowsy from the pethidine.

Just about to go through it again after only 16 months and actually quite looking forward to it strangely. The pain has an end to it and wow you get the most wonderful reward at the end.

I agree with earlier comment that much better than being in bed with the flu....

EPIDURAL EPIDURAL EPIDURAL
EPIDURAL EPIDURAL EPIDURAL
EPIDURAL EPIDURAL EPIDURAL
EPIDURAL EPIDURAL EPIDURAL
EPIDURAL EPIDURAL EPIDURAL
EPIDURAL EPIDURAL EPIDURAL

But I was induced both times so I believe the labours were different. WAY more painfull

was prepared to have an epidural ( a 'mobile' epi, the only kind on offer at the birth unit i was at first time) but thought id give the water a whirl first. byt the time i said 'right, thats enough, bring on the hard stuff' i was one push away from being all done.

so in answer to thread title question; it was much easier than i thought. have now had 3 dc, natural water births with not a drug in sight. 'mazin.

I was a bit like you and was petrified of the whole birth process, to the point where I was having recurring nightmares for the majority of the third trimester. I think it is just one of those things that every new mum to be goes through. Well, certainly in my experience anyway!

When the time came, I actually surprised myself with how well (I think) I dealt with it. I think this was mostly down to two comments made by a MW at the parentcraft classes:

1. Each contraction is one less to go before you get to meet your baby

1. Remember to breathe! In through the nose, out through the mouth.

I had gas and air for the majority of the labour and was given a shot of pethidine right at the end, which I'm not sure even worked until after DD was born, as I didn't feel the placenta or anything else once she was here. I can't be sure though as it is a bit blurry!

Needless to say, this time, I am feeling far more relaxed about the whole birth thing and I keep reminding myself of the two comments that were made during my first pg.

You will cope with it. I surprised myself and I am normally a right wuss when it comes to pain!

my mum told me to remember to breathe. i said 'im in labour, not a fucking coma'

first pg, no epidural, was fine without, had gas and air, and diamorphine, think I might have even been ok without that, but who knows! Probably not!

Glad i did not have epidural, pain was bearable for me. Unfortunately I had to have one anyway afterwards as placenta would not come out, broke up into little peices and had to be pulled out bit by bit. that was worse than the pg, which in my opinion was great!

Pain was much more bearable than I had imagined. I was lucky, lucky, lucky. Had first sign of contractions at 3am, at 5.30am thought ok, this is probably it and ran myself a bath (all health professionals had said for first baby expect a long labour, have a bath, go for a walk, etc). Was out of bath hoping around the house by 5.35am. Called the hospital at 6am, they said you'd better come in now. Was there at 7am, asked for an epidural straight away (the ONLY thing on my so-called birth plan!!), only for MW to tell me it was far too late for that as I was 9cm dilated! Pain was bad, but with G&A absolutely bearable.

Crowning for me was the most painful bit (really stung, and nothing had really prepared me for that bit), but was relieved by my DH pouring lots of water on me!

DD was born at 10am and as soon as her head was out, all was forgotten -- AND she was 9lb 9oz!

That truly is the amazing thing about childbirth -- it is painful, but as so many women say, as soon as your beautiful baby is born you forget about it.

Best of luck

cosmogirl I just want to make a little comment on your quote. I've heard it before and it comes from, surprise, surprise, a male doctor.
Only people who haven't had a normal vaginal birth say these sort of things. I've described my own birth experience many pages before and I'm not the only one on this thread to say the same: the birth with the least pain relief ended up to be the one that made me feel better afterwards, more fulfilled somehow, more empowered and proud of myself for doing what I did. Giving birth with less pain relief made me feel a real woman and pround of being a woman. It's hard to describe, but I'm sure plenty of women on here know where I'm coming from.

for me it wasn't so much the feeling of achievemnet ut physically too with ds1 i only had a shot of diamorphine and i was chucking up afterwards and all groggy etc.
with ds2 i only had gas and air and i was walking to the phone room to call friends after after a few hours! much better able to cope-more normal feeling!

I managed with gas and air (smug emoticon) but the pain was much worse than I thought it would be AND I only managed with gas and air because when the anaethetist came to administer the epidural I was howling for and I moved round to let him get access to my back, he saw DD's head! She ended up being born about 5 minutes later.

I would have found it helpful to really know that pethidine can't be given after you're about 4/5cm dilated (I was told) because it might affect the baby and that epidurals can take a couple of hours to work!

I went into labour with a slightly different perspective than I would necessecarily have wished for. I knew in advance (for reasons that I won't bore you with) that I wouldn't be allowed to have a epidural or spinal block. That really made me focus on the fact that - no matter how hideous the pain might be - I would/could cope with it.

Wierdly, it meant that I'd actually convinced myself that I couldn't have ANY pain relief (somehow I saw pain relief as an epidural - or nothing). This meant that I declined all offers of gas and air and pethadine - and gave birth (including having to have a ventouse) without any form of pain relief whatsoever!

Yes, it was unbelievably painful (the back pain was excruciating and I screamed for 8 hours) but it IS achievable!

Honestly - you'll be fine. Good luck!

TLB, pethidine can be given well after 4-5cm. That's only just halfway through your labour. I'd say 7-8cm tops really depending on how quick progress is. Someone who's plodding along slowly should be OK at 8cm, but someone who's going quickly 8cm will be far too late, IYSWIM. I

Just wanted to say Belgianchocolates I know where you're coming from and agree entirely. Besides, giving birth is a natural process and having your teeth out is not. Not that I am arguing against pain relief, it's individual choice, but they two are entirely different.

Wow everyone - just caught up with your posts. If you havent read my earlier posts this stuff is INVALUABLE to a first timer like me.

Further thoughts:
If I do have to be induced (crosses fingers) then I will opt for an epidural - and have noted that they take about two hours to work.

Otherwise I will hope to get by with G + A, TENS machine, pressure on small of back etc.

If I need stitches I will insist on a local anaesthetic first.

Because all you kind people have taken the time to post your highly individual birth experiences, I'm not scared any more. What will be will be. Basically its happening and whether I follow the birth plan or not I am about as informed as I am going to be for one of the biggest events of my life.

Another quick question - did any of you do perineal massage beforehand and did it help? I'm doing it but no idea if I'm doing it right!

Glad you are feeling better bear! Thats exactly the right outlook! Second time around i didnt even hardly think of the birth cos i was much busier etc, so no time to worry! yOU WILL BE THE SAME!

You really cant predict how it will go or how someone will cope!

Never did perineal massage with mine, couldnt be bothered with all that! Episiotomy first time(healed well, no pain, no probs) and small, first degree tear second time, no stitches and again no probs

Haven't read all the posts so sorry if i x posts! I was induced with all 3 of my dc and only in the first one did i have an epidural. I felt so much happier in births 2 & 3 when i used hypnotherapy, G&A and TENS. And my dc2 was 10lbs 13oz! All i could say to dh after that birth was " i did it myself" whereas with an epidural i had no control over the birth and felt the recovery took much longer. Please dont be scared of giving birth - it can be a magical experience and if i was pregnant again it really wouldnt worry me at all.

BearMama, so pleased you´re not scared anymore, it won´t help you and may make you feel pain even more.

Didn´t do perineal massage. Though do believe it may help and is worthwhile. Believe that birthing pool with DD2 really made a SIGNIFICANT difference though to stitching after. With DD1 it took 6 weeks to recover from episiotomy and was v v uncomfortable (perhaps related to inexperienced midwife stitching me up? - Make sure yours has experience!!! With DD2 I spent some time in pool and was 100% comfortable after the episiotomy - couldn´t believe it after my first experience. With DD2 a very experienced doctor did the sewing and I wonder if that made the difference..

Did you see the programme re hypnotherapy on BBC last night. A woman had 1.5 hour operation to take front teeth out and replace them with implants. WITH NO ANAESTHETIC OR PAIN RELIEF. At worst she said the pain reached 3 / 10 and was calm and collected throughout the procedure. I think this is a really inspiring example of mind over matter. In a nutshell, scientists in the show seem to be coming to the conclusion that being hypnotised is not strictly necessary to avoid feeling pain, just being in control of your mind is enough. Something to bear in mind. Good luck with your birth - do whatever you think is right for you at the time! xx

BearMama - I did the massage.

I had a very fast a furious labour and birth (as written about on this thread) and very often this sort of labour results in perineal tears because the skin hasn't had time to stretch (allegedly). I did not tear at all. All I came out with was a slight graze.

That's an interesting comment re the placebo effect pistachio - shame its not really possible to do research on!
NomDePlume - How long did you massage for/ Have only been doing it a week and it all feels so "squidgy" I'm not sure I'm doing it right.
noresolutions- great to read about your good experience with pool, actually cant recall hearing any bad ones!
canella - describing birth as a "magical experience" is exactly what I like to hear right now, am hoping it will be
carmenelectra - having no time to worry sounds pretty ideal in that situation. Am sure there must be people thinking "oh just get on with it" but am glad no-one has said so!

I can;t remember exactly (DD is now 5.5), but I think I did it daily for about 4 weeks.

I was told that you should 'pinch' your perineum between forefinger and thumb with your thumb on the inside of your vagina and the finger on the outside, iyswim and rub like you would sprinkle salt onto your dinner (sorry, best way I can think to describe the finger movements) Hospital midwife told me.

Hey bearmama! Hope you're doing ok, just to let you know i've finally posted your parcel (yesterday). Planned to do it sooner but my dog was ill , she's ok now though .
Just to add my own experience, I found contractions worse than crowning. The crowning is over very quickly and by that time you're so excited you're about to meet your baby you don't care iyswim. I know everyone is different but the main prob I had with the contractions was that they went on for hours, I could cope with the pain but just found it tiring to have to cope with it over and over again. It is a lot to do with how you cope mentally, focusing on your breathing does help or just counting through the contraction, things like that.
Anyway, good luck, i'm sure you'll do great. Most importantly you'll meet your lo

Sorry to hear about your dog Dalrymps, glad she is well again. Thanks for sending the parcel, will let you know when I get it!