Those of you who have given birth - how did you cope with the pain? Better or Worse than you thought and do you wish you'd had an epidural?

[BearMama]

Its my first pg and I know I cant prepare myself just through other's experiences, but I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
I have read the "Women Unprepared for Childbirth" article and it has scared me TBH. Will be 39 weeks tomorrow so the due date is very near.

Also would like to know which was worse - crowning pain or contractions?

Really I wish I were one of those "Rather not know" Mums-To-Be but I'd rather be prepared for agony and do my damndest to relax and breathe properly rather than have some fuzzy idea that I'll cope.

I had a wonderful epidural with DS1. It totally took all the pain away & made me human again! They let it wear off for the second stage, so I felt to push him out & didn't need any intervention.

Wasn't worried about DS2's birth after my positive epidural experience with DS1, but second time round my epidural didn't work at all. They told me to give it time, but the pain continued to get worse & worse. I remember writhing around in agony right towards the end of the first stage, but I can't remember what that pain felt like.
I remember feeling the burning as the head crowned, but it wasn't as bad as the pain of the contractions IMO.

Once the baby is out, all the pain just disappears though, and you have your lovely baby in your arms.

i had a mobile epidural just before stage 2 because they didn't realise how far along i was. it didn't work, and tbh, now that i know how bad it can be i'm not sure i'll go for an epi this time round. i'll try and see how far i get.

gas and air was horrible - i felt out of control and it didn't lessen the pain.

my policy was just to see how far i could get before moving up to the next pain relief mechanism.

I've only ever had Gas & Air and pethidine (DD1)...didn't even get time to get to the Epi...although I was shouting 'Give me DRUGS!!' lol...I did have pain but I also had alot of support and people with me who had my best interests at heart..my only advice is have a supportive birth partner...(although my DH kept nicking my gas & air bluddy cheek!)...try to relax...and listen to your body..good luck

noresolutions: I mentioned hypnotherapy too. It's just amazing to see someone use it in birth.
Canella: magical, now that's a word that I didn't use in my long description, but it definitely belonged in my list of fulfilling, empowering, etc...
All the best bearmama, you had some brilliant advise on here. You'll be fine if you keep all of this in your mind

I gave birth to my DD in Japan where no pain relief is offered for standard deliveries.
It hurt like hell, but I survived and I didn't come away from the experience having been put off ever having more children.
Natural childbirth is no longer the norm in western countries, but it is possible.

I completely understand what you mean about wanting to be prepared and knowing what to expect, but every experience is different so try to be as open-minded as possible.

Good luck with it. You must be so excited to know that you'll be meeting the newest member of your family very soon!!!

Funny RuthChan, but I was thinking last night, how do women cope where pain relief isnt an option. Answer, they just do because they have to and have done since the year dot. Its things like that help keep me focussed.
Starlight, this has certainly been one of my secret fears and its been good to have it brought into the open.
Who's to say what's normal anyway when it's such a life-changing experience?

i realy thought it wasn't that bad the labour and the birth, didn't have any pain relief but i did go into the pool which was great.
i didnt really think birth was that painful.
i was in more pain after tbh.
try and stay as calm as you possible can, and accpt the fact this baby is coming out and try and look focus on soon you will be able to hold the baby in your arms, thats the thought that kept me going thought a shit pregnancy

im expecting my 7th baby in july and yes it hurts ,hurts like no one can explain and different for all women
my advise is to walk ,move crouch anything to get that baby speeded up get him to the right position and you can do that before the birth,you HAVE to be mentally prepared eg "bring it on im gonna manage"
if you find pain to much have pain relief thats what its there for
you concentrate on what your body is doing and focus on what your baby is doing its hard work for you both.
as for the crowning at that point you have no control really its such a weird stinging sensation but one that means that baby is very nearly here,i think you work extra hard right then you actually do listen to your body you sometimes dont remember ppl around you next thing its over and you cry with relief and the rooms buzzing with people.
im scared to do it again but i have a fantastic doula whos going to edge me on all the way,shes also going to speak for me when i cant im having a hospital birth with just me and my doula,from the minute im in established labour she allows no one to speak to me not even a midwife,i refuse all internals,unless i want epidural,
she knows and i know when im ready,i have to be in hospital as my baby is not very well and needs help when hes born.
good luck you will be fine
we are women the stronger of the species,we can do this little thing men woudnt have a chance

HI labour for me was just like i expected (painful), i had gas and air which was gr8 and epidural which i wouldnt recommend as it just sent all my pain to the back and i was left with terrible back ache for weeks after!

bearmama

No epidural - managed on Gas and Air and Tens. Of course its painful but you can do it!

Just rest in the early stages (don't try to time every single one of your contractions like me )

I know it sounds funny but try looking at ways to avoid being afraid of the pain. DD2 was born with no pain relief and I realised a lot of my tension and shouting was because I was frightened of the pain getting worse - a lot of it really was in the head, rather than in the body, iyswim. What helped enormously in fact was listening to a hypnobirthing CD on my MP3 player every day. I played half of it when labour started, and it made it possible to regulate my breathing and focus on what was happening - then I got fed up with the endless blabbing and just concentrated on the contractions!
PS I broke my leg badly a couple of months before labour and that definitely hurt a lot more, because [a] it lasted indefinitely (you get breaks in labour), [b] it had no point (you know you'll get a result from the effort in labour), [c] there were no endorphins to help.
HTH.

Personally I thought the contractions were much worse than crowning. I had gas and air through first stage but didn't use it for second stage as it became a distraction from concentrating on the pushing. Yes it really hurt but within an hour of her arriving I was already talking about having another so I think that says it all... Just think its just a day of your life - you'll get through it. (apologies to all the women who are going to reply their labour lasted 3 days...)

I am having my first baby in Spain, and they do not really use gas and air (epidurals are used in most cases). However, my doctor has told me that I can have it if it is what I really want, but he has tried to put me off by telling me it will make me "unconscious" and that I will not remember anything about the birth afterwards. This differs from what I have read about this particular method of pain relief and I would be interested in hearing about other people's experiences with gas and air.

For my DS I did a hypnobirthing course. 29 hrsof labour and then a emergncy cesarean. I had no pain relief until shortly before the op - had an epidural at that point. The anaesthetist was amazed that I was on no pain relief given the contractions I was having. The only pain was in my back (DS was back to back - hence caesarian eventually). The contractions just felt like pressure. I am not good with pain but the hypnobirthing exercises and breathing I had learnt over about 10 wks were brilliant. Just feeling that I knew what to do was really good.
With DD 2yrs later I had no time for any prep and cos of a midwife who would not get her b''dy hands off my stomach the breathing exercises were jeopardised. I did manage without any pain relief apart from gas and air near the end when I was too tired to focus properly. The hopital staff were disbelieving when I said I wanted nothing. Anyway I would say be prepared - even a week is OK if you do something now. Breathing exercises really do work - breathing to expand the stomach and relaxation exercises so you re not tensed.
You can get cds and tapes - or look on internet for contacts.

bearmama
I didn't have the option of pain relief really as all 3 of my babies were really quick!!
I tried gas and air.. but threw up so didn't bother again LOL.

It was fine.. hurt but it was fine. I just kept thinking.. this is going to get worse yet so hold on LOL.. then they just popped out .. just when I thought I couldn't do another contraction

like I say have 3 kiddos to prove it not as bad as you think

Just want to add.. it was my full intention to have as many drugs that they would offer me.. I am not an earth mother type.. and really don't "do" pain LOL Good luck

"Get some Lactulose for the days after the birth, it's a life saver."

Best advice yet!

I had twins on gas and air, but it only lasted 40 mins in established labour, plus they were only 29 weeks, so had very diddy heads!

I ahve a very fuzzy memory of the order of events, but i remember not being able to fight the feeling of wanting to push, and not being able to fight the urge to scream. I also remember the crowning pain far more vividly than contractions, and i kinda had it twice, DT1's head and then DT2's bum!

BearMama - Do give the bath a go, it feels great when you first get in and helps with the pain a bit. Also, my epidural started working in about 5-10 minutes, not 2 hours!

With DD I found I kind of gave up on the gas and air when I was pushing, with DS it was my life line. I'd love to be able to find out (in a very odd sadistic way) if it was the induction which made birthing DD more painful or the humoungous baby. I'm guessing the only way to do this would be to have either a humoungous baby naturally or a normal sized baby via induction! Since I'm probably never going to have another [sob] I'll probably never know!!

Whatever your labour is like you will get through it and it will all be very worth it so try not to spend too much time building up any expectations of anything, as it is always going to be completely different to what you were expecting!!

I gave an epidural a whirl with the first - kind of worked but couldn't feel to push and the recovery to my body (aka pelvic floor!!) was long and tiresome. I wanted to give the non-epidural way a go with the second (actually with no pain relief for some unknown reason) - very fast labour with contractions only really painful for the last 2 minutes, but the crowning was something to be appalled by - like a blow torch! (although dd1 did come out twiddling her hair so it could have been that!) DD2 was straightforward and again with no pain relief - I just couldn't be arsed to faff about with it and it just felt right at the time - so I just shouted instead and she shot out..in essence I choose the non-epi/no pain relief but it helped that the labours were short with no2 and no3 - 3 hrs and 5 hours respectively.xxx

I had the opposite of the birth I wanted, starting with having my waters broken and a scalp monitor being put on DS's head (they couldn't get a reliable reading of DS's heartrate). I had all these plans to use my TENS machine (would interfere with monitoring) and move around to ease contractions etc, but apparently I couldn't move so I spent the whole labour on my back (with a brief bit on my side with poor DH holding my leg up while I was pushing!) Being on my back was horrid!

From then I had pethadine (felt sick so they wouldn't give me G&A), then G&A, and 3 failed epidurals (3 times putting the tube in, 2 doses of painkillers). I think the epidurals worked a bit but there was definitely still plenty of pain so I carried on with the G&A.

Apparently I was getting too tired so they then gave me syntometrin to speed things up. When I started pushing I hated it and just wanted it to all be over (All I could think about was that it felt like I was going to poo myself!)

For a couple of weeks afterwards I couldn't think about the labour without feeling sick, and the idea of having another baby (however wonderful DS is) was completely unthinkable. However, apart from some back pain from the epidurals, I felt pretty normal within a few days (walking a couple of miles a week after birth)

Now DS is eight weeks old and the pain is all a blur, and when I can get more sleep I'll be contemplating the idea of a second! Next time I won't have the choice of an epidural (as there'd be a big chance it would fail again) but I'd do my best to avoid one anyway

So to summarise my horribly long post, yes it can hurt like hell but even if it goes totally off-plan, its bearable, and the DC at the end is so worth it all.

Giving birth was like doing a hard 10k race just very tiring but I was lucky and had no significant pain, now breastfeeding was the worst pain I have ever experienced and I wished someone had prepared me for that rather than labour and when asked I tell all my friends to go to their local breastfeeding support group when in their last trimester.

i had first child with epidural which i would highly recommend. second child there wasnt enough time for anything and i wont lie it hurts.its like havin your insides pulled out. all i can say is once the baby is out the pain stops and you have something so precious youl know it was worth it. with the first i think the fear is the worse.just go with the flow. all births are different.i wouldnt bother too much with the birth plan though as it goes out the window!!